PDA

View Full Version : My Immortal appreciation thread



sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 05:07 PM
http://myimmortalrehost2.webs.com/chapters122.htm

How many Apricity members can read this abomination before cracking up in laughter. :D It's the lulz you know. I don't think I've ever seen so much fail written before. Who hasn't heard of this legendary bad fan fic? :D

Corvus
08-02-2012, 05:09 PM
LOL I dare to claim that even my poor English is better than this.

Kazimiera
08-02-2012, 05:16 PM
WTF is this?? :crazy:

Osprey
08-02-2012, 05:17 PM
typical girlish fantasy of draco malfoy :coffee:

Mechanolater
08-02-2012, 05:18 PM
Aneurysm.

sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 05:58 PM
typical girlish fantasy of draco malfoy :coffee:

It's basically canon rape of the Harry Potter series. I watched this piece of shit get published on fanfiction.net before it got removed for being of poor quality.


WTF is this?? :crazy:

It's basically a WTF.... :D


LOL I dare to claim that even my poor English is better than this.

You're English is a LOT better. This looks like it was written by a twelve year old with Downs Syndrome.


Aneurysm.

Basically. :D

Osprey
08-02-2012, 06:06 PM
It's basically canon rape of the Harry Potter series. I watched this piece of shit get published on fanfiction.net before it got removed for being of poor quality.



It's basically a WTF.... :D



You're English is a LOT better. This looks like it was written by a twelve year old with Downs Syndrome.



Basically. :D

Ebony = black girl?

sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 06:08 PM
Ebony = black girl?

She is supposed to be White.

sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 09:34 PM
Little known fact: I followed this piece of crap when it was published in 2006. It was very 'interesting'. :D

Mechanolater
08-02-2012, 09:40 PM
Little known fact: I followed this piece of crap when it was published in 2006. It was very 'interesting'. :D

You're a wackadoo.
:)

sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 09:42 PM
You're a wackadoo.
:)

It was more like it was free entertainment. :D

Piper
08-02-2012, 09:45 PM
what. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatWhat)







:picard1::picard2::picard1::picard2:

Balmung
08-02-2012, 09:46 PM
She's white with a name like Ebony Darkness? Sounds like an African American pornstar to me :lol:

sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 09:57 PM
what. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlatWhat)







:picard1::picard2::picard1::picard2:

There isn't much to add. :D


She's white with a name like Ebony Darkness? Sounds like an African American pornstar to me :lol:

I know, lol. :picard1: It honestly sounds like the author was constantly having a stroke at the keyboard. The grammar just gets worse and worse as it goes on and there is a lot of inconsistencies and Darth Vader shows up, American cultural references, canon rape (which I already mentioned), Mary-Sue main character, can I go on?

I have a theory that it was a troll who made this. :bored:

Piper
08-02-2012, 10:00 PM
There isn't much to add. :D



I know, lol. :picard1: It honestly sounds like the author was constantly having a stroke at the keyboard. The grammar just gets worse and worse as it goes on and there is a lot of inconsistencies and Darth Vader shows up, American cultural references, canon rape (which I already mentioned), Mary-Sue main character, can I go on?

I have a theory that it was a troll who made this. :bored:

Do you suspect it's too much fail fail to be genuine?:eek:

Pallantides
08-02-2012, 10:01 PM
It's not as good as this story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBQIx5jiTsg

sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 10:02 PM
Do you suspect it's too much fail fail to be genuine?:eek:

Honestly I wouldn't put it past a thirteen year old fan of mainstream 'rock' bands to write such a horrific story. I have seen some people who's grammar is seriously that bad that they'd write such a thing.

Piper
08-02-2012, 10:09 PM
Hmm yeah actually it's a pretty close tie. Mary Sue vs. Marty Stu.

Epic, y'all! :thumb001:

Bucovina
08-02-2012, 10:24 PM
I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.

Kewl.

sturmwalkure
08-02-2012, 10:45 PM
Kewl.

More like k00l!111! ;)

Frigga
08-16-2012, 07:21 PM
Oh my god sturm. I couldn't even finish the first "chapter."

:lmao :pound: :dielaughing:

Stefan
08-16-2012, 07:26 PM
People should find her address with internet hacking powers and send her grammar books. ;)

rhiannon
08-17-2012, 09:18 AM
Just.....Ew. Abominable writing.....:puke:

Pallantides
08-17-2012, 01:08 PM
It's not as good as this story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBQIx5jiTsg

A better version:
n3LKadZ4LFU

sturmwalkure
08-17-2012, 02:03 PM
Just.....Ew. Abominable writing.....:puke:

That is the appeal. Kind of... so bad it is good. :D

Sultan Suleiman
08-17-2012, 09:08 PM
I suggest you guys read one of my favorite fanfics evar!11ONE

Squad Broken

But for those uninitiated in the Warhammer 40K lore watch these few videos which summarize the entirety of series.


-MeVxKZBOfM


Further info

WeCfod1XT7E

gqinPt-vN54

uEzIVvOl5Qw

Cr_9fjhnKCk

VbZNDfc6jkc


Here it is :D

Only those with nerves of steel should go further...Turn back, this is your final warning!

Squad Broken

As soon as he heard one of his comrades scream “SQUAD BROKEN!", Eduardo the Space Marine knew that he was doomed. He charged forth in a panic, firing his plasma gun wildly into the air. Somehow the orks had surrounded them! Eduardo’s teammates ran shrieking into the depths of the abandoned tanker, the grunting lustful orks in swift pursuit. Soon Eduardo was alone.

The brawny Space Marine collapsed against a wall, panting raggedly. His plasma gun had nearly overheated, and his com units were malfunctioning. No use even if they worked. By now, his whole squad was surely dead.

Lost in his thoughts, Eduardo did not hear the ork creeping up on him. Stunned by a blow to the head, Eduardo was thrown violently to the floor. The ork grunted in amusement, bending down and straddling his body. Dazed, Eduardo turned his head to look up at his enemy. The ork fellow was huge, well muscled and even attractive for his species. Right now the ork’s vibrant green skin was flushing dark in arousal. Eduardo whimpered as he realized what was about to happen.

Summoning up his powers as a Blood Angel, Eduardo bellowed in the Black Rage and began to flail about under the ork. The ork simply grunting, riding the panicked Space Marine like a rodeo bull. Already weakened, Eduardo simply did not have the strength to dislodge the much heavier ork.

All that thrashing around served to arouse the ork further. His name was Gurk, and the friction as the puny Marine flopped around between his muscular thighs was giving him quite a respectable hard-on. Gurk had meant to save the Marine for his own squad, but he couldn’t wait any longer. Whipping out his own plasma gun, Gurk seared off the back of the Marine’s armor, leaving his shining buttocks bare to the ork’s lustful gaze.

Eduardo moaned in fear, his virgin asscheeks clapping firmly together to deny the ork entrance. Gurk simply laughed, ripping off his crude orkish loincloth to reveal a thick green meat pole, nearly 12 inches long. The ork stuck one calloused finger down his throat, bringing up a thick vomit slurry which spattered down into the crack of Eduardo’s ass. Smearing the foul vomit around with one brutish paw, Gurk prepared the Space Marine’s tender anus for playtime.

Much to Gurk’s frustration, his cock was simply too large to fit inside Eduardo’s tight man cunt. He grunted furiously, screaming “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" in his deep orkish voice as he battered his fuckmeat against Eduardo’s tightly sealed pleasure ring. Suddenly the Space Marine’s portal gave way, and the swollen head of Gurk’s cock popped through into the forbidden halls of his anus. Gurk’s pleased snort was drowned out by Eduardo’s scream of agony.

The ork began to pump away in earnest, his bulging muscular hips and thighs slamming brutally against Eduardo’s ass. His heavy, furry balls slapped against the human’s ass merrily, creating a calypso that pleased Gurk mightily. Blood, a thin smear of feces, and Gurk’s own oily yellow pre-cum lubricated Eduardo’s asshole until it was as hot and slippery as Gurk’s own mother’s cunt.

Poor Eduardo was swiftly going into shock from the pain. His mind growing dim, he screamed “SQUAD BROKEN! SQUAD BROKEN!" over and over as the ork thrust brutally into his bruised insides. The ork’s massive cock had caused a large degree of internal damage, and Eduardo was close to passing out from blood loss and fear. If his squad didn’t find him soon, Eduardo knew that he would soon die. His poor plasma gun discharged into the floor one final time, overheating from a mix of pleasure and agonizing pain.

The Space Marine had been a good fuck for Gurk, but he needed something special to truly finish. Gurk’s heavy balls drew up close to his body, and he felt himself tensing, about to cum. As Gurk’s thick semen roiled up out of his cock and into Eduardo’s battered body, the ork slammed his powerful hands shut around the Marine’s neck. With a vicious jerk up and back, the ork crushed the Marine’s windpipe and vertebrae, swiftly ending his life. Eduardo’s anus clamped shut around Gurk’s cock, the painful tightness almost causing the ork to pass out.

Gurk roared out as he climaxed in the dead Marine, his beautiful green cock pumping load after load of thick ork jizzum into Eduardo’s lower intestine. The ork pulled out as Eduardo’s anus slowly relaxed, releasing Gurk’s cock with a wet sucking sound. Gurk used the sleeve of the Marine’s uniform to wipe the thick scum of blood, shit and cum from his swiftly withering ork meat. With a satisfied grunt, Gurk walked slowly away from the Marine.

Eduardo’s corpse lay cooling on the floor of the tanker, the charred remnants of his uniform stained dark with the foul fluids of both the ork and himself.

Squad broken.

Sultan Suleiman
08-17-2012, 10:03 PM
I just got trough first 10 chapters and I have to say it was quite an experience :thumb001:

Sultan Suleiman
08-17-2012, 10:38 PM
I just finished this masterwork and I have to recommend it to all :D