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Don Arb
12-19-2012, 04:00 PM
You are allowed to post only for you nationality and not for others.

You know you are albanian when:

1.You have an Albanian eagle tattoo on your arm or you wear it on a necklace.

2..There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway.

3..Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8 miles in 5 feet of snow up hills and mountains just to go to school.

4.Raki is like holy water in your house and you use it to cure all illnesses.

5.You wear an armani shirt when u work out or go to the gym.

5.The only cigarettes u smoke are marlboro reds and the only beer u drink is heineken.

7.You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for shooting your 9mm in the middle of the street during the wedding gathering.

8.You can name all your grandfathers in order dating back to the 15th century

9.Whenever you're with an Albanian and you don't know their name u just call them "ej Shqipe"(hey eagle).

10.You are 24 and your mother still calls your cell phone.

Mans not hot
12-19-2012, 04:02 PM
You are Polish if you:

-you have relatives who aren't really your relatives
-you know how to sing Sto Lat and sing it on all holidays/special occasions
-you love soccer
-you know very well Pope John Paul II was Polish and his name was Karol, not Carol.
-you go to Midnight Mass every Christmas Eve and keep your Christmas tree up till February.
-you know it’s wodka. not vodka.
-you open your presents on Christmas Eve.
-you don't feel the need to add an "s" to Pierogi because you already know the word is plural and it annoys you when others do.
-you see a girl/guy and the first thing you check out are her eyes
-you sometimes slip up when speaking English and add an ‘y’ to already plural English words.
-you love electronica, dance, and European techno in general
-your parents make you listen to polish disco
-you can spot Polish people like Asians can spot each other
-your grandparents hardly (if at all) speak English
-when you're at a stranger's house, you expect their garbage can to be under the sink
-you always take off your shoes as soon as you step into someone else's house, even when they say you don’t have to.
-you still think that American weddings should last days, not hours.
-you know Chopin was born in Poland and not in France
-your grandma understands you better than you understand yourself
-you were speaking Polish before you were English
-you have never eaten meat on Good Friday
-you dash your sevens and hat your ones
-your parents have no idea how to use a computer except for solitaire.
-your grandmother has a picture framed of Pope John Paul II, right beside your family photo
-your family considers mushroom/berry picking as 'having a good time"
-your grandma insists you wear slippers because the floor is chilly and you'll get a cold.
-you have paper towels in the house but they're just for show, because everyone knows -you're supposed to use a cloth.
-all your friends wished they were Polish because of Śmingus Dingus
-you couldn't say a bad word, even butt, around your mother without getting smacked.
-you would fail a blood/drug test because you've eaten so much poppy seed cake
-you, or your family/Polish friends talk in English, you occasionally slip in Polish words, and it's ok because you all know what each other are saying.
-your grandma can tell if you like a girl/guy just by looking at you
-you often doodle the polish eagle during class
-someone in your family owns a car with a Polish sticker on the back
-there are curtains on all of the windows in your house, even in the bathroom.
-you celebrate your birthday and your name day.

Graus
12-19-2012, 04:07 PM
You are allowed to post only for you nationality and not for others.

You know you are albanian when:

1.You have an Albanian eagle tattoo on your arm or you wear it on a necklace.

2..There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway.

3..Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8 miles in 5 feet of snow up hills and mountains just to go to school.

4.Raki is like holy water in your house and you use it to cure all illnesses.

5.You wear an armani shirt when u work out or go to the gym.

5.The only cigarettes u smoke are marlboro reds and the only beer u drink is heineken.

7.You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for shooting your 9mm in the middle of the street during the wedding gathering.

8.You can name all your grandfathers in order dating back to the 15th century

9.Whenever you're with an Albanian and you don't know their name u just call them "ej Shqipe"(hey eagle).

10.You are 24 and your mother still calls your cell phone.



Nr.3 is the same in every country

Don Arb
12-19-2012, 04:11 PM
-You curse at your teachers or strangers in Albanian....

-You can spot an Albanian a mile away..

-After a family meal, the women fight to the death over
who should wash the dishes while the men sit on their ass and discuss
politics impatiently waiting for their tea...

-Your parents want you to become a doctor or engineer.

-Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you
to dinner even if
you're in the next room....

-You have at least thirty cousins (that's only 1st ones)....

-You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it's normal....

-You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport....

-You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone's house....

-When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover they know one of your relatives back home...

-Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls...

-Your mother does everything for you if you are male & you do all the housework and cooking if you are female...

Queen B
12-19-2012, 04:11 PM
http://www.theapricity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=44373

Fortis in Arduis
12-19-2012, 04:45 PM
You would wear socks with sandals.


Someone bumps into you in the street and you apologise to them.


You talk about the weather. Lots.


You know that school uniforms are the itchiest and ugliest items of clothing ever invented.


You have invested in a seriously good umbrella, and watched it get turned inside out almost straight away by the wind.


You know what a chav is, and how they must be avoided at all costs.


You eat chips, not fries.


You get angry about American TV programmes when the “English” characters always sound like the Queen.


You, like the Canadians, know that “honor” is actually spelt “honour."


You think that American football actually looks a lot more like rugby.


You know that a cup of tea with two sugars is the drink of gods.


You know that you're English when you are accused of being racist just because you are patriotic.


When you obediently queue for hours on end at the Post Office counter, moaning to the people behind you, but be nice as pie to the counter assistant when you actually get to the front.

Hurrem sultana
12-19-2012, 04:54 PM
You Know You’re Bosnian When………………..

your family owns a manual coffee grinder
you take your shoes off when you enter the house, and every family member has his/her own slippers (plus some extra for the guests)
your neighbour comes over every day uninvited, for coffee
your father wears striped pajamas
you drive VW Golf 2
your day revolve around coffee and cigarettes
you have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name
your mother/nena won't accept the fact that you're not hungry
you drive VW Golf 2
you have "pita" for dinner at least 4 days a week
you have "sarma" for dinner the remaining 3 days
a loaf of bread is eaten for lunch every day
you're 6 and your father sends you out to buy him "Drina" and "Sarajevsko"
you drive VW Golf 2
you don't speak to your cousins who support "Sarajevo" (football club)
when your nena insists you eat something with "kasika" at least once a week
you chop up some onions and then decide what to cook for dinner
your mother insists that "promaha" will kill you
you drive VW Golf 2
your mother tells you not to sit on the concrete slabs, or your ovaries are going to freeze
your mother tells you to wear "potkosulja", no matter what the temperature outside
your mother tells you not to sit close to TV, and not to use cell phones, because you'll get brain tumor
you drive VW Golf 2
your mother tells you that you'll get sick from drinking cold water

Hurrem sultana
12-19-2012, 04:59 PM
You know you're Bosnian when:

Your parents tell you that they had you, AND your sister/brother when they were your age.
A "couple of days" really means a week or so.
Your parents have "goblene" (needlepoint) on their walls, and "heklanje" (fine handmade lace) on every piece of their furniture, including the TV.
Your parents make "zimnica" (canned vegetables) every September.
Your mother threatens you with "samo cekaj dok ti se babo vrati kuci" (just wait until your dad comes home).
You spend all of your family vacations in Neum (only section of Bosnia on the Adriatic Sea).
You drive there in a family "golf" (small as a yugo).
You take a car to go everywhere.
You begin most sentences with "jebi ga" (f**k it), "svega mi" (I swear on everything) or "Tita mi" (I swear on Tito). :D
Your young cousin doesn't know what "Tita mi" means.
You can't explain what "bolan" means, but you use it all the time. :D
You're the only one who gets all the Mujo and Suljo jokes.

Smaug
12-19-2012, 04:59 PM
You are Brazilian if you:

-Were born in Brazil

Han Cholo
12-19-2012, 05:05 PM
You are Mexican if:
-Get bad and fear distrustful vibes from cops even if you did not do anything wrong.
-Hate "La Chota"
-Drink Indio beer
-If no money, drink mezcal
-Hate the USA but often you wear a NY Yankees cap.
-Think the whole Central America is a country.
-Call the people from the capital pinches chilangos.
-Drink tequila
-Blindly vote for the candidate that gives you some small food support, despite it will once last a week whereas the president 6 years.
-Have bribed a cop to let you go.
-Drive like shit in fast forward.
-Think you're better than everyone else despite you know your country is a shithole
-Throw garbage in the streets if there is no cans around.
-Watch TV all day and base your worldview and ideology in that.
-Think nationalism is waving lots of flags and getting really drunk when the national team wins.
-When you try to control your Mexican accent in other languages, end sounding Slavic or even some more foreign stuff.

gregorius
12-19-2012, 05:09 PM
You know when you are armenian when

1 You always talk about the history of Armenia
2 Give your opinion about turks
3 you like chess
4 your parents tell you how important family is
5 your parents tell you how important education is
6 you hear everything was better in the sovjet days
7 talk very loud and get in fight for the most stupid things
7 Drive in big cars with the window open and sunglasses on
8 you have a car but dont have a house :D
9 always wear black
10 the father is the head of the house and you can never disagree with him

Stanley
12-19-2012, 05:11 PM
You know you are American when...

...you only know one language.

Virtuous
12-19-2012, 05:28 PM
You speak Maltese

You discuss about local Politics as much as you talk about Football.

You follow Political discussions eagerly.

You follow the Italian/English/German league with passion.

Pasta

You are a devout Christian but also name every single saint, Holy Mary and God in vain when someone or something pisses you off.

You curse about your Government for every single accident/misfortune that happens to you.

You curse and swear.

You drink Cisk beer.

You complain about public transport.

You are EU skeptic.

You curse and swear to the car in front of you in a traffic jam.

Your neighbour complains about the rubbish/dogs crap left in front of his door.

Your neighbours gossip/are nosy.

You are loud.

You are generous.

Your family often organizes BBQ's near the sea.

You pick fights with people twice the size as you.

Everyone is friend of friends on Facebook.

Graham
12-19-2012, 05:29 PM
You Know you're Scottish when...

1. Everything looks tasty deep fried.

2. You learnt 'The Gay Gordons' & 'The Dashing White Sergeant' at School.

4. You could make a proper conversation out of the words. 'fuck' 'fucking 'fucked ' fucker', 'aye, naw', 'awrite'

5. You show self deprecation & pessimism.
"Scotland are playin'" "what's the fuckin' point!, we'll get humped"

6. You can pronounce words like Breich, Auchtermuchty & Auchterarder.

7. You Get Four seasons in a day.

7. You say Scotland invented the 'Modern world', & claim Scots have invented every single thing on the planet.

..Need to think of more to add. :D

Vesuvian Sky
12-19-2012, 05:37 PM
You know you are Southern Italian/Magna Grecian when:

-Your family is first, and everything else a distant second
-Believe red wine is the only true wine
-Know the value of a good conversation w/ someone over red wine
-Pasta!
-Eat seafood and pasta on Christmas eve
-Know only your Grandma can cook pasta true and everyone else's = crap
-Know you have Greek blood
-Know you have Greek blood but deny it (:picard2:)
-Your mistaken for Greek...even by Greeks alot
-Can have the fiercest argument w/ someone but eventually become their friend
-Feel claustrophobic when you are away from the sea
-Occasionally or even frequently are inclined to supersticioun over reason
-Know that a life w/o music is a life not worth living
-Find those "above the Alps" a tad uncoothed or mentally unstable at times:D
-Are a Pontid Med.:D

Balmung
12-19-2012, 05:43 PM
- You can't say a single sentence without fuck, shit, damn, ass etc. Unless you're from the burbs.

- Portrayal of gore, decapitations, torture, & all around extreme violence FUCK YEAH AWESOME........A penis/vagina shows on screen....WTF IS THIS SHIT, there are children in this country for christ sakes!

- You treat your politicians like celebrities.

- You can get famous by making a youtube video of you being dumb, or crying over a celebrity.

- Chubby people are the norm.

- You know atleast one black person named Jerome or Tyrone.

- You know atleast one Mexican named Jose, Jesus, Pedro, Alejandro. With the last name Hernandez.

- You're sexy.

Leliana
12-19-2012, 06:41 PM
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me0qs3i9tp1qm0rh8o1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md2s0kc5T11qm0rh8o1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md0xla9q3n1qm0rh8o1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc92txMexd1qm0rh8o1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbkvf9niN21qm0rh8o1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsv5og1COr1qm0rh8o1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_macg4y5IbB1qm0rh8o1_r1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m943o74GhE1qm0rh8o1_500.png

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http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4y48qtD6l1qm0rh8o1_500.png

You call your cell phone "handy" and a projector "beamer".

You have asked your Asian-American friend, "No, but where are you *really* from?"

You call an afternoon stroll "Nordic Walking".

You are shocked when you have to pay for dental care.

You own a pair of jeans in a color other than blue.

People start talking about Hitler and Hofbräuhaus when you tell them where you're from.

You yell at people for jaywalking.

You routinely go 150mph on the highway and tailgate heavily.

You wear brown leather shoes.

Your first audio tape was Benjamin Blümchen and Bibi Blocksberg.

You have ended an English sentence with "..., or?".

You can tell at least one Manta joke.

You're a college student in your 11th year.

You spent hours in school learning to pronounce "th".

You expect chocolate in your shoes on December 6th.

You know what a Blitzkrieg is.

You call the tanks "Panzer" and not "tanks".

Hàkon
12-19-2012, 06:55 PM
You know you are a Göteborgare when you swin in Valhalla (http://www.gotevent.se/valhallabadet/default.asp).

gregorius
12-19-2012, 08:50 PM
@ leliana 80% are also dutch things :P,

Balmung
12-20-2012, 12:13 AM
You know you are American when...

...you only know one language.

Not for long! i shall be learning German!

Even though i am procrastinating about it heavily.




http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m943o74GhE1qm0rh8o1_500.png

Instantly thought of Graus.

John Doe
12-20-2012, 08:23 PM
- You're fairly likely to believe in God; if not, you've certainly been approached by people asking whether you know that you're going to Heaven.

- You think of McDonald's, Burger King, KFC etc. as cheap food.

- You don't consider insects, dogs, cats, monkeys, or guinea pigs to be food.

- It seems natural to you that the telephone system, railroads, auto manufacturers, airlines, and power companies are privately run; indeed, you can hardly picture things working differently.

- You find a two-party system natural. You expect the politicians of both parties to be responsive to business, strong on defense, and concerned with the middle class. You find parliamentary systems (such as Italy's) inefficient and comic.

- The rest of the world hates you.

- College is (normally, and excluding graduate study) four years long.

- You've probably seen Star Wars, ET, Home Alone, Casablanca, and Snow White. If you're under forty, add Blazing Saddles, Terminator, Jaws, and 2001; otherwise, add Gone with the Wind, A Night at the Opera, Psycho, and Citizen Kane.

- You're used to a wide variety of choices for almost anything you buy.

- You still measure things in feet, pounds, and gallons.

- You think of Canada as a pleasant, peaceful, but rather dull country, which has suddenly developed an inexplicable problem in Québec. You probably couldn't explain why the Canadians didn't join the other British colonies in rebelling against King George.

- You consider the Volkswagen Beetle to be a small car.

- The nationality people most often make jokes about is the French.

- There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

Gospodine
01-04-2013, 10:38 PM
Nr.3 is the same in every country

All of these are exactly the same in every Southern European country.

Lemon Kush
01-06-2013, 12:55 PM
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmprnzebJo1qgz9yeo1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmkthsJHLG1qgz9yeo1_500.png

Lemon Kush
01-06-2013, 01:04 PM
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lma7l17Lm51qgz9yeo1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmbqjgbluz1qgz9yeo1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm8bgr4ITv1qgz9yeo1_500.png

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http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkqgp2v1NZ1qgz9yeo1_500.png

Hochmeister
01-06-2013, 01:23 PM
-you have relatives who aren't really your relatives
-you can spot Polish people like Asians can spot each other
-you love soccer
-when you're at a stranger's house, you expect their garbage can to be under the sink
-you always take off your shoes as soon as you step into someone else's house, even when they say you don’t have to.
-you still think that American weddings should last days, not hours.
-your grandma insists you wear slippers because the floor is chilly and you'll get a cold.
-there are curtains on all of the windows in your house, even in the bathroom.


Same in the ex-USSR. :D

Hochmeister
01-06-2013, 01:33 PM
You would wear socks with sandals.
You know that school uniforms are the itchiest and ugliest items of clothing ever invented.
You know what a chav is, and how they must be avoided at all costs.
You eat chips, not fries.
You know that you're English when you are accused of being racist just because you are patriotic.


Same in the ex-USSR again. But "chavs" are called "гопники" (gopniki) here :D

Incal
01-06-2013, 10:16 PM
Nr.3 is the same in every country

My parents took the bus lol.

gregorius
01-06-2013, 10:24 PM
Same in the ex-USSR again. But "chavs" are called "гопники" (gopniki) here :D

in holland its called toki, or just a armoedzaaier

Hochmeister
01-08-2013, 05:26 AM
You live in the ex-USSR (Central Asia) if:

- The Russian army and the soccer/hokey team is still “ours”

- You celebrate New Year, watching Putin’s New Year massage and listening in the Kremlin chimes at midnight

- You feel half-heartedly, passing buy the embassies of Russia, Germany and Greece

- You learnt to distinguish Central Asians from the Chinese, but you don’t show it

- You always confuse Central Asians with the Chinese, and you always show it

- You keep thinking about repatriation

- Ethnic Hungarians, Germans and Austrians from your office are “Russians”

- Everybody says: “Everything was better in the Soviet days”.

- There is a traffic jam, because Putin, or Turkish prime minister, again visits your city

- The American and European tourists tell you: “Where are you from? OMG! What are you doing here?!”.

P.S.



You wear brown leather shoes.


That's about me :D

Anglojew
01-08-2013, 05:30 AM
You like Kangaroo steaks and you sit in the front seat of taxis.

Vojnik
01-08-2013, 06:02 AM
Macedonians are exactly the same as Bulgarians posted above by dp93.

But here are some more:


- Your uncle makes his own wine that's stronger than 'rakija'.
- Your mother insists that 'promaja' will kill you.
- Your mother insists you must eat something with 'Sirenje' (cheese) at least three times a week.
- You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup (Turkish coffee).
- You use 'Rakija' to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a
massage lotion.
- You celebrate Christmas, Easter and New Years two weeks after everyone else.
- Your baba (grandmother) will not accept the fact that you're just not hungry.
- Your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate
from University.
- You go to a restaurant and bring your own drinks.
- You go to your baba's house, she offers you supa, sarma, piperki or
Kolbasi and gets upset when you don't eat EVERYTHING.
- When you have four pairs of 'Vlecki' (thongs/sandals) in your wardrobe.
- You are a fan of whatever soccer team Darko Pancev plays for.
- When your mum calls you 'stoka'.
- You can always smell garlic on your parents' breath and they insist it kills all bacteria.
- Your walls are crowded with icons of saints.
- You have a Goce Delcev picture on the wall.
- There's a slab of fat in your fridge called 'SLANINA'.
- Your mum has a whole pharmacy in her medicine cabinet.
- Your parents think everything is a conspiracy
- Your grandfather always has a shot of Rakija for breakfast.
- If something goes wrong in the family, it definitely has something to do with 'Magia' (witch craft).
- Your wife has to make you food everyday and if she doesn't, she is not a
'domakjinka' (housewife).
- If you are caught doing the vacuuming by your mum or dad, they say that you are under the thumb and your wife's parents are laughing at you.
- Your parents invite 500 people over to your house because you proposed to your girlfriend.
- Your parents can eat 'luti piperki' (hot chillies) like chocolate and not break out in a sweat.
- The house has to be vacuumed at least 10 times a week.
- Your fridge always has more beer than food, just in case 'gosti' (guests) come over.
- Half of your backyard is a bufcha (vegetable garden)
- You come home later than you are allowed to and your dad says to you: "More ima mamicheto da ti go ebam" (i will fuck your mum) and your mum looks at him weird as if to say "YEAH YOU WISH"!