Originally Posted by
Ellethwyn
I must have bad luck with ppl or something, because most ppl i've gotten to know or am related to are bad to very bad ppl. I am also a bully magnet. I think people just hate how i look physically, because i find people instantly don't like me. Hubby says, "Oh they are just jealous." I do not agree with that at all. There is nothing to be jealous of. People often called me "princess", also "albino" and "casper" so i think i am judged for having blonde hair. Once a police officer told me i was so ugly, nobody would ever love me, only my dog would love me. Another time a man told me that i am so ugly i should kill myself. It's so cruel and stupid. Even if you don't like how someone looks, if they are a nice person they shouldn't be treated so harshly.
All throughout childhood my "friends" would turn on me and they liked to put me in dangerous situations. Then since adulthood i've made a handful of friends and they all turned on me at some point. People mistake kindness for weakness, and choose their own selfish desires over doing the right thing. I have given up on friendships and sometimes i get sad about this, esp because i have no relationship with any of my family. What makes up for this is that i have a very loving and caring husband. I am very dependent on him, which sometimes makes me have a lot of anxiety.
I could give a lot of horrible examples of how cruel and evil people can be. I am embarrassed to even be associated with these people. I will give one example. My younger half brother is in prison for a few years, for randomly stabbing someone in the gut at a convenience store. He told his friend he felt like "sticking" someone, and he fucking did it. For fun. He is sick. Can you imagine? You are just out grabbing something from the store and some bastard comes up and stabs you in the stomach for nothing. I have not talked to him for years, because he is not right in the head. I have another brother in prison for life.
Sometimes I chat with nice people online, or will hear a story about someone who is very kind and doing good things. It warms my heart, and makes me wish i could have such nice people around me more. I am working hard at raising nice and caring humans. I am so thankful for my little family. I don't know how i would get through this life without them.
