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Farting is perfectly fine because its a natural body function that God created but violent farting directly in your girlfriend's face is a sin. I eat Texas chili all the time and I'm always farting...

You a Christian? You bet your ass you are. Now remember that Sunday is God's Day which means worship and rest ONLY. Posting online and gossiping on forums on Sundays for your enjoyment in an...

Son, the 80s women did too much coke and didn't eat so their asses were too flat and bony

Listen boy, you ain't lazy and you're a good apple but lets be clear about one thing: NOBODY WORKS LIKE TEXAS!

Now this what I call a real woman. Look at her sink her teeth in those meaty pork juices.

Ears up son, I have something to say. Some of you Greek boys need to come down to a Texas ranch and see what a full days work looks like. Then you see a real work ethic and can take it back home and...

There you kids go with that fancy pants European electronic music. Soldier, lemmie show you a little country soul.


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I'm feeling sassy, flashy, and totally carefree. Honey lose that frown and love big Texas just like me....yow

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You gotta damn fine mustache son and you would make a good Texas cowboy. I don't give a dog's nut sack about what region you look like you're from, I need to know if you can rope cattle and lift...

S!

Sit up straight and listen to me. You ain't never seen a real woman with a real body unless you've been to Texas. How many times I got to explain it to ya'll? You're a good apple son but you gotta...

Ain't nobody does it like Texas!

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Listen up and listen up good cowboy. flashy trains don't amount to a hill of beans. Public transportation is a fancy pants, flapjack, fast talk, sissy town way to travel. Get yourself a Chevy truck...

Around the world, in every corner, one damn thing is true. Women love a Texas man. Said women love a Texas man. Anyway you slice it, anyway you dice it, those ladies love a Texas man.

Now woman don't be raising your lip to me because I deserve a little damn respect as a tax paying TEXAN!

115? How tall are you boy?

Listen son, I'm only gonna ask this once and I want an answer as honest and true as glazed Texas Oak. You ever been to Texas?

My daddy taught me weed is for queers and God damn hippies. It has no place in Texas

Ain't nobody gonna beat sweet daddy Trump!

People with good old Texas common damn sense are gonna vote for Trump. Ain't no God damn substitute gonna cut it, just RINO bullshit. Haley is some neocon hogwash lord help me. I tell you Texas is...

I tell you I have a weight lose solution Texas style. Get them workin just one week on my ranch they gonna lose some pounds and build some damn muscle, i tell you what. No whining or long breaks,...

TEXAS BEEF

whatever happened to blonde Texas beauty queens. Son of bitch!

I tell women you gotta marry a good man from Texas for heavens sake. Texas men are tough as oak, true to their word, and defend our families with honor. Honey, ain't no man can beat a real cowboy,...