Karate Kid Remake (2010)

**Stegura** · 01-08-2010, 06:39 AM

I honestly have no idea why Hollywood feels the need to do a remake of such a classic and relatively well made 1980's film.

When I heard that Will Smith's son was going to be casted as the main star I thought he'd end up getting bullied around by racist White youngsters and that he'd need the help of lol Jackie Chan (The new Mr. Miyagi) to overcome his racial persecution.

Well it turns out, he is the victim of racial harassment. Chinese racial harassment!

The trailer featured Jaden Smith pimping on some little Chinese girl, but the Chinese boys in his school didn't that kindly to a brotha' putting the moves on one of their women. Just when he's about to get beaten down Rodney King style Jackie Chan rushes in to save the day! So they actually have a 50 year old Martial Arts expert fighting and beating the crap out of a couple of 10-12 year old kids!! hahahaha

The trailer looks pretty lame, I hope the film bombs at the box office.

http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/movi...arate-kid.html

**Liffrea** · 01-08-2010, 03:19 PM

The original karate kid (don’t know his name) was one kid I would have happily seen run over by a train and cut to pieces by a chainsaw wielding psycho, mardy little bastard….

**~~Cato~~** · 01-08-2010, 05:32 PM

Jackie Chan doesn't practice karate. :/

**~~Aemma~~** · 01-08-2010, 06:49 PM

Ahh nothing can beat the original "wax on, wax off" duo of Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita (he was even nominated for an Oscar as best supporting actor in this role according to Wikipedia).

I'm with you Stegura, why should everything have to be remade?

**~~Cato~~** · 01-08-2010, 07:39 PM

Jackie Chan is no Pat Morita and Jaden Smith is no Ralph Macchio. Haing read the basic premise of the movie, I feel as if it's going to stink:

Black boy feels the wrath of the people's ethnic anger for trying to mix races, befriends weird old janitor to teach him gongfu.. er karate.

**Stegura** · 01-08-2010, 11:02 PM

Originally Posted by Liffrea

The original karate kid (don’t know his name) was one kid I would have happily seen run over by a train and cut to pieces by a chainsaw wielding psycho, mardy little bastard….

Yeah, Ralph Machio was a real punk in that movie. He deserved every beating he got from the Cobra Kai!

Here are two alternate endings where Daniel-san gets his ass handed to him!

[youtube]NCDEoodZD90[/youtube]

[youtube]nmPbCpjCfmQ[/youtube]

**Gooding** · 01-08-2010, 11:18 PM

Lame. That movie was a classic, why ruin it?

**Stegura** · 01-13-2010, 01:35 AM

I wrote this back in June on IMBD when I first heard this movie was in production:

Jaden Smith, the new Karate Kid.

Are you ready for the The Karate Kid remake? No, not The Karate Kid part 5, but the original Karate Kid movie just remade. Why would they do this? I have no clue, I guess so they can just throw the other Karate Kid movie away and say that it never existed and don't you question it.

Jaden Smith won acclaim for playing the part of Will Smith's son in the "Pursuit of Happiness." He is now a much sought after young actor. His first big project will be the remake the "Karate Kid." His success is guaranteed because they already know people will go and see the film because they know the basic story will be the same and the spirit of the movie will be inspiring and uplifting. At least that's how the first film was. How will this one be different, I don't know. But I think I'll give it a shot and after the movie screens we will see if I'm right or not.

Daniel Larusso, first of all, will not be his name, it sounds too ethnically Italian. His new name will be Tyrone Biggles. Tyrone moves from the tough inner city streets of East LA to an upper class predominantly white school in Beverly Hills. He's a math whiz, a straight A student, a great chess player, a poet, and he was wasting his talent away at the crumbling public education cesspool because the Republican leadership of the city cut funding!

Tyrone is having a hard time fitting in until a few friendly students invite him to a party at the beach, much like the first one. He notices a beautiful Blonde haired girl lustfully watching his physical prowess as he dominates the sand of a volleyball game. With every spike and point he makes his new friends glare at each other in amazement of his athletic ability. After the game, the beautiful blonde, Heather, approaches him to talk. They hit it off and are getting along great until David, Heather's ex, notices the two getting a little friendly and makes a big racist scene! Calling Tyrone a nig*er and saying that no woman of his is ever going to make it with a brotha'. Tyrone will then suffer a beating at the hands of an obviously well trained Karate student.

Tyrone brushes off the incident and heads home heartbroken and humiliated. He soon befriends an Okinawan man named Miyagi (played by Jackie Chan) and Mr. Miyagi explains that he too was victimized and discriminated against by Whites when he first came to America. Tyrone begins his training with Miyagi by performing the same seemingly unnecessary tasks, but this is where it gets interesting.

Tyrone and Miyagi go to the Dojo where they are to challenge the Cobra Kai's in the Karate tournament. And who plays the part of Sensei of the Cobra Kai? Why it's the same guy who played Johnny Lawerance in the first film and he's an openly racist retired Iraq War Veteran with an obsession for violence and cruelty. He was discharged from the Army for his role in the murder of some Iraqi civilians. Since then, he's been teaching Karate to only young White kids. He tells them that Whites need to defend the streets of Southern California against Blacks thugs and other third world immigrants. He tells them that non-Whites deserve no mercy! Go figure, I told you it was going to get interesting.

Tyrone and Heather continue their dangerous relationship even though her father and mother don't approve of her dating a young Black boy. Tyrone must endure incredible odds to keep the woman he loves and gain the respect of his adversaries.

Throughout the Karate tournament, as Tyrone and David work their way through the competition on their eventual rendezvous in the final match, we hear 50 cent's version of Joe Esposito's "You're the Best" done as a hardcore rap tune with pounding bass and a muffled wailing guitar off in the distance.

In the final scene, as Tyrone stands in the crane technique waiting for David to charge so he can release the crane and all it's glory, but we get a surprise. David dodges the crane kick, and oh my god how did this happen? Perhaps David watched the Karate Kid 2 already? Just as David dodges the kick, Tyrone comes down with a hard left handed bitch slap to the face to win the point and the Tournament to which Tyrone remarks, "My Grandmama taught me that."