How do you deal with drinking if it's part of your culture but you dislike drinking?

[poiuytrewq0987]

I used to enjoy having a beer or two, the occasional wine or the rare spirit but I've decided to abstain (going on a year now). Drinking is often part of society and many cultures. It can be difficult to avoid drinking completely but it helps to avoid people (yes, I've had to end friendships since we don't see each other's anymore) who like to drink a lot or go out to night clubs.

[Sanyok]

I also decided to abstain 3 years ago, yet I never drank a lot (just 5-10 times a year, mostly wine)

How to deal?
The bridals seem to be an inevitable ocassion to drink, but after I made, so called, vow of sobriety I found that many people really do not drink on such feasts. The reasons may be: pregnancy and feeding (for women), driving, medicines (not combined with alcohol), so in this circumstances I found that not drinking on feast is a wide spread custom and on the sly one can join this sober company)).

Also I'm really supported by a fact that my bride do not drink alcohol at all. Curiously, I met her after I decided to abstain, so her and mine total sobriety was the surprise for ourselves both.

My friends, at first they found it strange, but later they became accostumed to this and even say with proud in a new company that "this guy do not drink at all already N years!"

[Bezprym]

It is difficult to abstain. I used to drink a lot, I was quite often coming home drunk, sometimes I left a house at 3PM and returned 12 hours later. But after I stopped meeting with such "colleagues" I reduced drinking. It is not like I don't drink at all, no - I still drink quite often. Yesterday I passed an exam so I decided to drink with a colleague, somehow we managed to drink 7-8 beers. Sometimes it is fun to drink, but only when it is not a routine. After you notice that your drinking crossed some borders, you should to stop buying such ammount of beers.

In Polish culture drinking supposed to be normal, nowadays it changes. You can see drunk guys, you can see people who drink occasionally and you can see people who do not drink at all. It varies. The worst part in drinking too much are other people, who want to make you stop by criticising you, by insults etc. It is quite suicidal, as such behaviour will make this person drink even more. Everyone need to create an idea of stoping overusing alcohol by him-/herself.

For me, personally, alcohol helps in some fields. It makes me more social, more "courage" and I was better in translating, let's say. Also when I was studying English in college, when I arrived to an exam I usually had better scores while I was not quite sober.

[Kazimiera]

I don't drink at all and I'm past the night club stage but the times when I was more sociable in my twenties people put me under a lot of pressure to drink. When I went out I would happily sit for hours and drink non-alcoholic drinks.

What upset me was when a guy would offer to buy me a drink and then refuse to pay for it if it was a non-alcoholic drink. You'd think that he would be pleased because it cost less than half of an alcoholic drink. When that happened I'd say thank you, in that case I will pay for my own drink. After that he'd stop paying me attention and move onto some other people. It's rather obvious that he wanted to ply me alcohol so that he could get me into bed when I was pissed.

I also had experiences where a guy would buy me a non-alcoholic drink but after I came back from the bathroom it would taste curiously of vodka. They think that you can't taste vodka and throw in a tot or two when you aren't looking. It's a cheap and nasty ploy to get you drunk in the hope of some action between the sheets later that night. Maybe that trick worked with other women but not with me.

[Shkembe Chorba]

Quiting alcohol is boring.

[Linebacker]

You just don't drink?Is it that hard to control yourself enough to not drink alcohol,I find that hard to believe.

[Kazimiera]

I saw a great quote this evening which made me think of this thread:

When I drink, I only drink a little because alcohol turns me into another person. That person drinks a lot.

[♥ Lily ♥]

I haven't had an alcoholic drink in over 3 years, and even before that I'd only drink an occasional glass of wine once or twice a year, but now I've realised it's been a few years since drinking anything alcoholic at all. I take medication and I don't like alcohol anyway as it's not good for your skin and brain, and even a small glass of wine makes me feel nauseous, especially with medication.

I live in one of the worst nations in the world for piss-heads and alcoholics, (and I can hear plenty of drunkards shouting loudly outside as usual as I type this; the noise of loud talking, yelling, shouting, screaming, people messing around, car doors banging, loud music, etc, and the noise goes on for hours and hours from the evenings until 4am every weekend here.

I've noticed that it holds no social or class barriers and people from different class backgrounds sit outside different types of bars and pubs and they're all blind-drunk at w/e's.

I have several pretty pubs and stylish bars in my area which attracts a lot of people and so it's very noisy with loads of drunken people shouting for hours as they sit outside of those pubs and bars in the summertime and also when they leave the bars.... the noise here can be heard every single weekend.

I disconnect from people who want to drink and my bf can't stand people who drink either, and neither did my ex whose only addiction is playing his bass guitar in pubs on stage (a music-holic, but he never ever drinks alcohol as he drives a lot on the roads) and he loves rehearsing music with his rock/metal band and working-out in the gym, and plenty of other things that he enjoys and he's a very busy man. I used to play my keyboards and also my Irish tin whistle whilst he played on his bass guitar when we were at home. Our life revolved around music and bands.

I'd often help my ex bf on his driving jobs by sitting by his side in his van and helping him with directions whilst he was driving around London and dropping off and collecting DJ's from different bars and venues across London at w/e's. We'd often go to pubs by ourselves to listen to bands and music inbetween waiting to collect the DJ's later, and I'd often dress-up and watch him play with his band in different venues across London during the week, but neither of us drank... we saw loads of drunkards of different class groups whilst we were collecting 6-8 DJ's and their equipment from different bars and venues each weekend across central London every Fri/Sat at 1/2am. I noticed that it made no difference if we were walking into bars full of city-slickers in suits, or private venues... they're all drunk and flirtatious at weekends. If you want a relationship or friendships with people who aren't into drinking either then avoid meeting drunken and intoxicated people in bars!

You can still find a very good social life beyond drinking. Once I went along to a Witchcraft discussion group in a nice bookshop which my current bf showed me, once an evening for 6 weeks, and it was a lovely atmosphere with historians and psychologists amongst the people who attended the classes, and there was no loud people talking drunken nonsense and vomiting around you; just an ambient candlelit bookshop with interesting talks about Witchcraft and Paganism and it's place in modern society and history which was a friendly learning experience, alongside the herbal tea and hand-baked cookies (shaped like crescent moons) which were served downstairs where the discussion groups were held in the quiet bookshop in Covent Garden.

There's loads of other different types of groups where people with similar interests/hobbies can socialise with others, whether it's walking tours, late night cafes to read and talk with others... or going to play badminton and going for motorbike rides with others in the evening like my mum, or crystal healing and swimming groups like my grandmother did in the evenings. There's just so many different groups out there to suit each persons personality and interests where you can meet people with similar interests without drinking.

I used to do Iyengar yoga classes at different locations which I'd walk to and back 3 times a week during the evenings (and gained some certificates in it too,) along with balletcise once a week (a small class of 8 females held in a church on a hill - once our balletcise teacher was 7 months pregnant but she was still able to teach and dance - balletcise is a form of exercise involving stretching movements based on ballet,) and I'd also do expressive dance classes once a week (as well as gym once a week and pilates class once each week too!) and there would be people from all walks of life, ages, nationalities, etc, attending the Chantraine expressive dance classes and workshops. Sometimes more than fifty people (male and female) would dance together both morning and afternoon during our long Sunday workshops where several dance classes came together to meet and dance all together for the Sunday workshop dance routines. Pushing yourself with exercise and dance can become addictive too though.

I have a Croatian friend in London who loves going to Salsa dance classes (she's been doing it for several years) and that's her niche and her enjoyment... whereas I went along to a few Salsa dance classes and I didn't like it, yet I loved doing Chantraine and balletcise classes, whereas it doesn't interest my friend. Chantraine expressive dance was invented in France and there's classes in London and France. It incorporates the different stages of life and various styles of dancing and it's very enjoyable and therapeutic.

I lost a friend who died prematurely from alcohol and morphine abuse and I had to go and identify their body at the mortuary. My friend had never used morphine, but walked off with the wrong guy whilst drunk who offered them morphine for the first (and last) time in their life, which combined with alcohol was a lethal combination. A drunken young female also died in the company of the same man two weeks previously to my own best friend from what I heard from the people I spoke to who knew the guy. He offered them both morphine whilst they were drunk which caused both of their premature deaths. One of my uncles died when he was 21 in a car crash caused by another person who was drunk.

I really think that the UK is the worst nation for drunken people (and I've noticed it's the same when I've been to the north of England as well as when I'm in the south, and all different classes of people I see drunk at weekends,) although I've not seen other countries, but I don't think it could be any worse in other nations than how it is with the amount of drunkards in the UK. Our society in Britain has a lot of people with alcohol addictions and they go wild and act like mental cases on the false sense of 'freedom' whilst they're drunk. It's a part of the mainstream culture in my country that I hate, but I'm so used to being surrounded by the loud sound of drunkards every weekend and I just totally disconnect myself from that culture where people think they have to drink to be confident and socialise, but I've found my own path in life and inner peace of mind.

[LalaLuna]

This is hard to say, because I personally vowed to stay away from alcohol. My family was filled with drunkards, many of whom died of liver problems. My grandfather was beaten as a boy by his constantly drunk father, and my father was beaten by my grandfather. My father was abusive to me. It's a cycle I want to break.

When friends ask me why I won't drink, or why I'm worried for them when they start to get out of control, I explain my living situation and they usually understand and back off. On the rare times someone is persistent, I just keep saying, "No thanks." If it gets annoying, I may just leave the premises. I have a clear goal in mind for when those situations arise and I stick to it. It also helps I don't visit places known for alcohol (like bars, night clubs, or parties), and I rarely make friends with the type that likes to do those things, as it's just not my personality.