Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 27

Thread: How Strict Were/Are Your Parents?

  1. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Last Online
    02-19-2017 @ 11:29 PM
    Ethnicity
    Mr. Cogito
    Country
    Poland
    Region
    Lublin
    Gender
    Posts
    4,350
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 4,617
    Given: 2,771

    1 Not allowed!

    Default

    They are strict, but always could be worse. There are some tensions between us, anyway. Sometimes I think they are people, who think everything around them is "The Sims" game. But I am a virus in this game that do not let them to live my life.

    do they still set boundaries and have expectations for your life?

    Yes. They expect me to be a guy they want me to become. But everyone is individual and knows better what is good for us - our parents are not the people who will determine our life.

    alcohol

    Yes, but it changed slightly. Firstly, they were against it. I was supposed to be a son, who will follow their bs. I decided to be myself. Now they do not have much problems with me drinking a beer or two, but they still are brave warriors in "Crusade_Against_Me_Drunk". I still receive phone calls "Where are you? When you'll come back? Just try to be drunk!". So in case of alcohol they try to change something, but I still will do what I want.

    On the other hand, they gave up totally in case of cigarettes. I don't know what would they do about weed, but I avoid it myself.

    relationships

    I have not problems with that. They do nothing about it, they simply want me to be in relationship, while I do not. It's the only difference between our views.

    politics

    Totally no problems. We do not talk often about it. It may be also depending on the country, as we are Polish it is normal for every single Pole to be against current government. Situation changes during elections, but even then we do not argue and they do not try to force me in voting.

    religion

    I was raised in Roman Catholic family. They are quite "crazy" in point of view of religion. Even though I said once or twice, that I do not believe, they try to convince me to go the church. Sometimes I go, but in some holy days only. Religion and alcohol are the biggest problems here. I don't know if they even take seriously my views.

    sexuality

    I never talked about it with them, and I doubt if they want to know anything in that matter. Tabboo here.


    Simply, I live my own life. I don't care about their wishes and their plans. But there are some problems and they are strict in general, but they know they will achieve nothing.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Jarla87's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Last Online
    08-20-2016 @ 06:35 PM
    Location
    Southern Countryside
    Meta-Ethnicity
    Germanic
    Ethnicity
    German
    Ancestry
    German. Can be traced back to 1100.
    Country
    Germany
    Region
    Bavaria
    Taxonomy
    Sub-nordic
    Politics
    Völkisch - Blood & Soil
    Religion
    Christian; Anti-Zionist
    Gender
    Posts
    257
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 594
    Given: 335

    0 Not allowed!

    Default

    My parents were - in some eyes - strict. But it depends on what you are used to.
    My mom always said: "I am not her friend, I am her mom. My daughter has friends in her Age."
    I think that`s pretty good. My parents were strict but loving.
    There were borders and if I crossed them ... o O.
    For example using bad words against them, being disobient, rude, brash, lying and so on. Then I got the rod.
    But only until I was 13. For me it was pretty clear what to do and what not to do.
    Also in School: Forgetting homework, bad marks, being disrespectful to the teacher. No way for me.

    With 14 they changed. For many it might be normal but for me it was a whole new world.
    I could schedule my day as I wanted and they told me I Need to make my own decisions and my own experiences.
    Sure we had some rules but it was o.k.

    Now that you are an adult, do they still set boundaries and have expectations for your life?

    No, absolutely not. I do what I want, we see us once a month and all they are concerned is that I`m happy ... and they et their grandchildren

    Would they ever disown you for something, and what is it? No. I do't think so. They say whatever I do I will still be their daughter, and it`s the same way I see my parents. I would never give them into an old-peoples home. They cared for me when I was a child how should I not help them the last years of their lives?

    Alcohol
    I grew up in a Family who is strongly against alcohol. I tried it a few times in my youth but I never got used to it and since 5 years I did not have anything that even contained it. Because of my Religion. My parents were even against drinking Cola. Which is pretty good. I never got used drinking lemonade or sth. similar.

    Relationships
    I can choose my friends of course. Also mostly in my childhood.

    Politics
    They are pretty open-minded about that.

    Religion
    There are two religions they don't want to have in their house.

    Sexuality
    As Long as I am not whoring around or am a lesbian they are pretty ok with everything.

    Today we have a pretty much relaxed relationship. They invested a lot in me and I really appreciate it that they also taught me to never Forget our roots.
    “The farmer was and remains the stumbling block to socialist experiments everywhere. Since he raises his own food and tends to live in his own house, he is less “controllable” than say, the urban dweller.”
    ― Erik von Kuehnelt-Leddihn

    "Die Grenzen sind gefallen, ganze Nationen fallen mit und wir werden uns nicht länger beugen, bis jede Mauer der Lüge bricht."

  3. #13
    Banned UkrainianGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Last Online
    05-14-2017 @ 08:59 PM
    Location
    Made in Ukraine and transported to America
    Meta-Ethnicity
    From the land of Slavs
    Ethnicity
    Ukrainian
    Country
    United States
    Politics
    Boringggg
    Hero
    Trinity God
    Religion
    Christian
    Gender
    Posts
    3,577
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 6,310
    Given: 3,146

    0 Not allowed!

    Default

    You don't wanna know.....lol
    Horror movie lol

  4. #14
    Veteran Member Apricity Funding Member
    "Friend of Apricity"


    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Last Online
    @
    Ethnicity
    ᖭི༏ᖫྀ
    Ancestry
    Med
    Country
    Albania
    Gender
    Posts
    5,888
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 6,529
    Given: 10,081

    1 Not allowed!

    Default

    do they still set boundaries and have expectations for your life?

    They have expectations for me but they don't control me anymore. I value their advise and turn to them for help
    alcohol

    They allowed me to drink wine at the table for dinner but never to go out and get drunk.
    relationships

    No, not even thinkable to date.
    politics

    They don't mind as long as i'm not a nazi or anything.
    religion

    not so religious which is something i wish was different.
    sexuality

    Never spoke about this with my parents.lool

  5. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Last Online
    04-05-2018 @ 07:02 AM
    Meta-Ethnicity
    Espańol
    Ethnicity
    Celtíbera
    Ancestry
    Espańola
    Country
    Spain
    Politics
    Espańa
    Gender
    Posts
    5,827
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 2,846
    Given: 2,495

    0 Not allowed!

    Default

    My father, strictly military attitude.

  6. #16
    Senior Member Marzipan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Last Online
    07-16-2017 @ 07:54 PM
    Ethnicity
    Eivřrnese
    Country
    Faroes
    Hero
    Greasy pizza
    Gender
    Posts
    412
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 320
    Given: 294

    0 Not allowed!

    Default

    My life was held by strong firm gentle hands.

  7. #17
    Veteran Member Ryujin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Last Online
    05-27-2023 @ 02:19 AM
    Ethnicity
    -
    Country
    Ireland
    Gender
    Posts
    6,464
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 6,802
    Given: 5,812

    0 Not allowed!

    Default

    do they still set boundaries and have expectations for your life?

    Not really. I choose my own path.

    alcohol

    My dad is an alcoholic, he really appreciates the alcohol. My mom has no problem with me drinking it but she doesn't want me to end up like my dad.

    relationships

    Dad doesn't care. Mom is really eager to get to know about my relationships with girls.

    politics

    Dad is a hardline Kemalist and opponent of the government, mom is a little bit more moderate but she's turning more and more anti-government.

    religion

    Neither are practicing religious people, dad doesn't really give a shit while mom at least has some respect for the religion (we went to churches together too, she doesn't hate other religions or anything)

    Sexuality

    They told me to be cautious about it (condoms and such) that's all.

  8. #18
    Veteran Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Last Online
    07-11-2017 @ 10:10 PM
    Ethnicity
    -
    Country
    Vatican-City
    Gender
    Posts
    1,213
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 203
    Given: 54

    0 Not allowed!

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Katariina View Post
    Did they set many boundaries and rules? Or were they more laid-back than most parents? Now that you are an adult, do they still set boundaries and have expectations for your life? Would they ever disown you for something, and what is it?
    Did they set boundaries for you in any of the following: alcohol, relationships, politics, religion, sexuality, etc.?

    My parents are quite balanced, maybe a little more strict than not. I doubt they'd disown me for anything I chose to do, unless it was something that obviously affected other peoples lives (ex: violence). But they raised me right and happy, so they don't worry about what I do.
    My father is a bit strict, my mother no, not at all.

  9. #19
    Veteran Member Sekarotuinen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Last Online
    08-17-2017 @ 12:06 PM
    Location
    SF Bay Area
    Meta-Ethnicity
    Finno-Ugric/Semitic
    Ethnicity
    Finnish & Levantine Arab
    Ancestry
    Paternal: Eastern Finland (likely with Russian admixture) Maternal: Palestine
    Country
    United States
    Region
    California
    mtDNA
    X2e2b
    Taxonomy
    Nordid-Baltid-Arabid Mongrel
    Politics
    Right Wing - Libertarian
    Hero
    Ronald Reagan
    Religion
    Islam
    Gender
    Posts
    3,368
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 1,316
    Given: 156

    0 Not allowed!

    Default

    Not really super strict overall, my mom is stricter than my dad.

  10. #20
    Neighborhood Friendly Nuna <3
    Apricity Funding Member
    "Friend of Apricity"

    Harley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Last Online
    @
    Location
    Vegas
    Meta-Ethnicity
    Austronesian
    Ethnicity
    Samoan
    Ancestry
    Samoan
    Country
    United States
    Hero
    Longbowman
    Gender
    Posts
    5,088
    Blog Entries
    3
    Thumbs Up
    Received: 9,532
    Given: 11,712

    1 Not allowed!

    Default

    I'm the oldest of six kids. I believe my parents were more restrictive on me than two of my siblings, one who was a year younger and the other who is three years younger. While those two siblings were allowed to join after school clubs, hang out, participate in different events, I was not allowed to do this regularly and had to come home to watch my youngest siblings( 6, 8, and 9 year age difference). I was in the top 5 in elementary, middle, and beginning of high school. I felt that I should have been able to do more, but my mom said that she only trusted me to watch them, so I did.

    My dad tended to use me as an enforcer. It was up to me to monitor the others' behaviors or my ass was grass. My dad also asked me to protect my brother from whatever fights I could when he could have been shipped off to a punishment school. I had to KO another kid who wouldn't stop harassing my brother.

    This dependence from my parents lead to them being more strict and judgmental on how I spent my time. Despite qualifying to go to my dream college, and my dad having taken me there as well, I wasn't allowed to go there because I would have been alone, and therefore, up to no good. Then I qualified to go out of state on a scholarship, and live with my aunt. My dad talked me out of that, saying that the family needed me. So I stayed. He used that as a way to insist I was too much of an idiot to succeed anyway.

    My parents have constantly used me as the third parent/adult when it came to decisions, but also have used emotional blackmail to set boundaries around me to control my movements.

    My dad used to beat me until I was in my early 20s. He threatened to kill me when I stood my ground and refused to let him blame my mom or me for my bipolar sister's antics. From that point on, I kept my thoughts plain on my sleeve, as it became more upsetting for me to keep it to myself. I think the last time he laid hands on me, one of my sisters ran to my room when I was getting ready for work, hid behind me because my dad was trying to hurt her while she was holding my baby nephew. He demanded that I move, I said no, so he squared up and punched me point blank in the face twice. I then asked him if he was done being a bitch, and said that the reason no one takes him seriously is because he doesn't know how to act like a person worthy of listening to.

    Fast forward years later, my mom is in this semi comatose condition, and it took a lot of fighting between me and my dad for him to start to balance out emotionally and mentally. He isn't the same man he was years ago when he did that.

    I say all this because I want to say it. I don't have any bad feelings towards my parents. I understood at a very young age, probably about 7-8, that my parents had very traumatic childhoods. I also have never laid a hand on either of them or threatened them, because it's unnecessary. I know that I am not engaging with them, but their pasts.

    My family tends to view me differently from my other female siblings because of my unique place in the family hierarchy. The younger siblings are extremely protective of me, and all of my siblings view me as another mother parent.

    I tend to challenge the status quo with my parents. My mom says I am like my dad, but she also tended to put a lot of trust in me to do the right thing without prompt, though she was prone to do whatever she felt like. My dad relies on me to rope in everyone since my mom is unable to do it. When we talk, I have to place clear limitations when it comes to negative talking, because there's usually someone fighting somewhere between us, and I am the mediator. My dad will give me the abridged version of how he feels, then ask affectionately, "Was that enough bitching for one session?" then we laugh about it.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-04-2014, 06:24 PM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-07-2013, 03:55 PM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-26-2013, 01:20 PM
  4. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-24-2011, 05:05 AM
  5. First non Muslim school to serve strict halal food
    By Druantia in forum News Articles
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 03-13-2010, 10:56 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •