Have you heard the good news?

[sql]

There is a God and his name is Amaradu. His chosen people are Afroasiatics and he has been revealing himself and his truth in the Horn of Africa, specifically Somalia. Since you are fellow Afroasiatics due to your neolithic admixture, I would like to invite you to this religion of Amaradism. I am the Pope of Amaradism and I have proclaimed that when a man enters Amaradism, all of his past sins are forgiven. If you choose to accept, your rewards shall be doubled and your bloodline will be Hornified. If you decline, prepare, because Amaradism will find you, and spread to all areas of the world.

Do you accept the truth and light of our one true God, our Lord and Creator Amaradu?

Peace be upon you, Afroasiatic brothers and sisters. Amaradu akbar.

[Linebacker]

Yes this is really good news.

[Merida]

I'm in

Here are my contributions, oh dear Pope:

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Amaradu is a false god. There is only one God. His name is Rocktar and I'm his humble prophet.



Hail Rocktar!

Amaradu has ordered me to declare a holy war on the Rocktarian idol worshippers! AMARADU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sql]

Bring it...

I have a CM jaw

[sql]

I have a six shooter blessed by Rocktar.



You still lookin' for me?

Yes. I have Somali pirates on my side.

[Wadaad]

Oh is that so? All what I have to say:



Warning to the Amaradu followers, return to the fold of the Ummah or prepare for a calamity.

For the muslims of Somalia:

[sql]

Oh is that so? All what I have to say:



Warning to the Amaradu followers, return to the fold of the Ummah or prepare for a calamity.

For the muslims of Somalia:

Brother, we need not a division between our two faiths. We can ally against the Rocktarian pagan idol worshippers!

[sql]

A RECENT CONVERT ASKS THE ORIGINAL AMARADIST MESSIAH ABOUT AMARADIST MARRIAGE RITUALS

Convert to Amaradism: Wait, so like, does the pope decide who marries who?

The Original Messiah: 3amradu decides through me... It's a complex ritual. First I consume some magic mushrooms and have an amazing trip to lala land where I meet 3amradu. He then tells me cryptically whom he thinks should marry whom. I can't grasp his messages so I come back to Jewpsy who understands our lords cryptic speak. He then interprets everything and the matches are decided.

Convert to Amaradism: Interesting.... So Jewpsy has seriously been chosen as the interpreter for 3amradu.

The Original Messiah: Yes. I discovered this when Jewpsy and I were cornered near Mount Sinai by a tribe of magician Bedouins. We were doomed to die, you see, but I had one of those trips (without mushrooms) and when I came back I told Jewpsy what a man claiming to be 3amradu said to me. It was some weird codded crap but Jewpsy got it (nobody else ever does) and it was apparently some epic spell that depowered those Bedouins and allowed me, him and some blokes with us to overpower them with simple sword play.

Convert to Amaradism: So what else does the Pope do? Who would be the representative of 3amradu? Because you get to meet him and bring his words, but only Jewpsy understands.

The Original Messiah: He handles tribal disputes, chooses generals to lead our 3amardist armies, acts as the voice and will of our religion (our de facto leader), he can marry to people together and any and all priests must be made so by him and him alone. Their priesthood is invalid otherwise. He is the representative, I'm just a random chap our G0d likes to speak through to the actual chosen one. I dunno why... Can't understand these deities and their mysterious ways.

Convert to Amaradism: Nope can't understand. But this is all very interesting. Jewpsy has been given a large amount of power.