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Thread: Having children DOESN'T make you happy

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marusya View Post
    Your children could pre-decease you. I know of a woman who had six children and they all died before she did. There are no guarantees your children, or grandchildren, will be there for you in old age.
    What is your personal view on the subject, Marusya? I took you for the domestic type.

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    In other news, the sky is blue

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marusya View Post
    Your children could pre-decease you. I know of a woman who had six children and they all died before she did. There are no guarantees your children, or grandchildren, will be there for you in old age.
    Was this a Ukrainian woman by any chance? My sympathies for her, but her situation is thankfully uncommon in the modern world.
    Again. You're using the same worst case scenario argument as Grimes. If you don't want to have children, that's fine. It's not for everybody.

    But don't try to delude yourself into thinking a slim chance of something bad happening is a reason to avoid it altogether.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smitty View Post
    What is your personal view on the subject, Marusya? I took you for the domestic type.
    I am quite domestic oriented. No doubt about it. I love all things HOME. (Martha Stewart, Marie Kondo, cooking, cleaning, Good Housekeeping magazine, House Beautiful magazine.) My hero growing up was Mary Poppins. Just me and Bert in the park having a jolly holiday. I love children but I'm conflicted about having them. What if I have an autistic or special needs child? Am I up to the challenges of parenthood.

    I really like my space and alone time. My bf is the same way. He says he could happily live with or without children, but no more than two. I think he thinks that way because I would have to do the majority of the child raising, like 99.9% of all women in the world. It is a big responsibility not to be taken lightly in today's world.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smitty View Post
    If you raise them right, that's not too likely.
    A child's personality has more to do with their genetics in play with their social environment (peer relationships are actually more important than parents when it comes to social development) assuming there is no abuse in the family. You see the differences in brothers and sisters all time. One might be better behaved, while the other is problematic. It's a roll of the genetic dice. What a parent should do is be mindful of their child's friends. Peers make the child. How kids act with their parents is often very different than how they behave with their peers. How they act with their friends is closer to their true self.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Etain View Post
    Was this a Ukrainian woman by any chance? My sympathies for her, but her situation is thankfully uncommon in the modern world.
    Again. You're using the same worst case scenario argument as Grimes. If you don't want to have children, that's fine. It's not for everybody.

    But don't try to delude yourself into thinking a slim chance of something bad happening is a reason to avoid it altogether.
    I wasn't making an argument. I was trying to be funny. Growing up my peers were dark and cynical in their humor and thus was born Colonel Frank Grimes. Although obviously I had a natural inclination towards cynical humor.

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    kids are the future, one day we die and they are our successors, it's not meant make you happy, just how things work out.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Etain View Post
    Was this a Ukrainian woman by any chance? My sympathies for her, but her situation is thankfully uncommon in the modern world.
    Again. You're using the same worst case scenario argument as Grimes. If you don't want to have children, that's fine. It's not for everybody.

    But don't try to delude yourself into thinking a slim chance of something bad happening is a reason to avoid it altogether.
    No, the woman wasn't Ukrainian. Just a generic American white woman that a friend of mine knew from her work as a nurse. She lived to age 90. Her husband died in his 70s and she had six sons. They died in their 60s and 70s. Three of her sons had children, but those grandchildren lived thousands of miles away from her. She really had no one in the end. My friend felt bad for her because she never had any visitors in the 10 years she lived in the assisted living facility. Her grandchildren didn't have time for her.

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    Personally, I'd rather live on in my achievments than live on through some stomach gremlin I contributed half the DNA to create.

    Not particularly concerned about leaving behind a legacy anyways. If I deserve one, I'll leave one through my actions

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kriptcov View Post
    kids are the future, one day we die and they are our successors, it's not meant make you happy, just how things work out.
    I honestly dream of driving my hypothetical 6 year old son back from his first little league baseball game and berating him for his lack of hustle.

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