Originally Posted by
crazyladybutterfly
I would describe myself in such way.
I think I am even a sadist as a side of me wickedly enjoys seeing others suffering, this part of me scares me and disgusts me. I do feel this sentiment towards humans , I dont remember feeling it towards animals (at best i smile when an animal has weird reactions for something that isn't a threat .. but it then activates by motherhood istincts so it doesnt really scare me) .. only humans
The first time I watched an ISIS video (guess the kind) I thought it was fucked up but I didnt feel much for the victims , instead the "sadistic part of me" activated.
I feel like I am unable to feel emotion for someone else, I did feel sorry for abused and bullied children/teens but that's probably because I can think of myself even though they experienced much more.
I can't form any bond with anyone either ... I mean unless I financially depend on you I won't really stay with you and even in this case I am cold towards the person.
I am also quite fearless , i used to fear as a child but now not anymore. a couple of years ago an idiot , on motorcycle, tried to scare me by trying to make me believe he was going to hit me ... well I laughed back...
I am obsessed with death , both mine and of others and this explains my interest in wars and why I wanted to join the army... this isnt psychopathic but my biggest desire is to die in a battlefield. But the italian army rarely engages in combats, women aren't allowed to fight moreover see the mess in iraq? I don't want to be in part responsible for something similar ... I thought about fleeing in Syria and joining the peshmerga but I read foreigners aren't allowed to fight and if I get captured by the enemy (not the syrian army) it might cost a fortune to my government and help islamists a lot.. I should change my nationality but with which nationality? how? what impact would it have in my life? what about my dog?
I am also easily bored , quite unattentive (though this is adhd trait , it is common among people with aspd) and most importantly impulsive.
So in few words i would say I have some sociopathic tendencies , on an emotional level, but somehow I managed to be highly moral.. to the point I wouldnt steal to feed myself ..
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