When someone questioned my beliefs and supposed hypocrisy on here earlier, it got me thinking. Obviously most things in life aren't static and are changing all the time, so naturally most of us have some sort of evolution as far as our beliefs go.
So how did everyone here come to think the way they do about race, culture, nationalism, etc? Have you always felt the same way, or has it changed with time and with new life experiences? If it has changed, why did it, and how has that changed effected your life, if at all? And it doesn't have to just be about race, I'm curious to know about how peoples' political views may have evolved, especially for those who have had some sort of radical shift in orientation.
(prepare for a too long, didn't read kind of post )
For me it's interesting because growing up, I always felt that I was boring and uninteresting because of my skin tone and my "whiteness". Throughout most of my childhood and probably up until my early teens, I had quite an exoticism fetish going on. I desperately wanted to look "exotic" myself (and by exotic I mean dark skin, dark hair, things like that). I hated being pale and I always found darker skin and features to be more appealing. And it wasn't just looks, I always thought there was nothing remotely unique or interesting about white American or Anglo culture.
I should note that I grew up around a lot of minorities (black, Hispanic, Amerindian and later Asians), and I myself was a minority as a white person. In high school I moved to a school that was majority white, and I definitely started to feel more normal. At some point I realized, hello, as a ginger I am "exotic" by most of the world's standards lol. It was also at that point I realized how far removed I was from so many different cultures. I was raised around a lot of black people, but I never fit in completely and always felt somehow separate and segregated. My friends may have been Asian, but there's no way I would ever completely assimilate into their culture. I would always be an outsider no matter what I did and that was made perfectly clear to me by their parents and by their community. I myself never had a stable family unit, so I suppose I was constantly looking for something else to call my own.
Once I came to terms with the fact that I could never magically change myself into something I'm not, I started looking more inward and exploring my own background and at this point I think I've reached a certain level of stability. I definitely still waver back and forth on some things, maybe from old habit, but generally, I'm comfortable with the fundamentals of who I am.