Would you allow your daughter to shag a...?

[Der Steinadler]

Not possible and it's a relic of the past. Divorce rates and spousal abuse actually would increase in such a situations it's far from the ideal. Arranged marriages are often work against the interest of both parties when they have nothing in common with each other. I can tell you that racial intermarriages are overblown way out of proportion, but from all races it's the men who do it the most not the women as people incorrectly believe. I have often seen that men want to control and limit who the women might want to be with, but they are the biggest hypocrites in this field and statistics show this case as well.

I disagree.

The value of marriage is inheritant in peoples blood and traditions.

When the modern world finally does die. Arranged marriages will come back.

[Contra Mundum]

Well, you also have people who "followed logic" and divorced at the end because meanwhile they found their "soul mates". Love is not business.

Marriage should be viewed more as business. There is no such thing as soul mate or love at first sight. In the past, few married because of such foolish emotions because their families were more involved in the decision process. The prospective groom had to get permission from the family of the prospective bride. He had to be able to support their daughter and be a responsible person and of good character.

True love takes years to develop, and most of those marriages develop into loving relationships. Mutual respect is key.

The reason divorce is so high is because people set these unrealistic expectations going into the relationship.

[mymy]

I disagree.

The value of marriage is inheritant in peoples blood and traditions.

When the modern finaally does die. Arranged marriages will come back.

If they come back, good luck to the world. I am becoming a "courtesan" in a sign of rebellion.

[Contra Mundum]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ting-love.html

Why an arranged marriage 'is more likely to develop into lasting love'

By Paul Bentley

Last updated at 11:16 PM on 4th March 2011

They are seen by many as business deals that have little to do with love.

But arranged marriages are far more likely to lead to lasting affection than marriages of passion, experts claim.

According to research, those in arranged marriages – or who have had their partner chosen for them by a parent or matchmaker – tend to feel more in love as time grows, whereas those in regular marriages feel less in love over time.


In love: Couples who have their other half chosen for them have a stronger marriage because their love grows over time


And within ten years, the connection felt by those in arranged marriages is said to be around twice as strong.

Relationship experts claim this is because arranged matches are carefully considered, with thought going into whether potential partners’ families, interests and life goals are compatible.

This means they are more likely to commit for life – and to stick together through rocky patches.

Those who marry for love, on the other hand, tend to be blinded by passion and so overlook these crucial details.

When the going gets tough, they are more likely to view the situation simply as a natural end to their romantic dream – a way of fate telling them something is wrong with the relationship.

With soaring divorce rates and record numbers of single-parent households in the West, researchers suggest it is time to rethink the Western approach to love. Harvard academic Dr Robert Epstein has studied the subject of arranged marriages for eight years, looking at the approaches taken in cultural groups including Indian, Pakistani and Orthodox Jewish.

He has interviewed more than 100 couples in arranged marriages to assess their strength of feeling and studied his findings against more than 30 years of research into love in Western and arranged marriages.


Lasting love? Newly-weds on their honeymoon. Within ten years those who had their marriage arranged will have a stronger relationship, researchers said


His work suggests that feelings of love in love matches begin to fade by as much as a half in 18 months, whereas the love in the arranged marriages tends to grow gradually, surpassing the love in the unarranged marriages at about the five-year mark.

Ten years on, the affection felt by those in arranged marriages is typically twice as strong.

Dr Epstein believes this is because Westerners leave their love lives to chance, or fate, often confusing love with lust, whereas those in other cultures look for more than just passion.

He said: ‘The idea is we must not leave our love lives to chance. We plan our education, our careers and our finances but we’re still uncomfortable with the idea that we should plan our love lives. I do not advocate arranged marriages but I think a lot can be learned from them.

‘In arranged marriages, thought goes into the matching. In the West, physical attraction is important. But people must be able to distinguish lust from love. Strong physical attraction is very dangerous, it can be blinding.

‘In the West marriages are easy to get out of. But in arranged marriages, the commitment is very strong. They get married knowing they won’t leave, so when times are harder – if they face injury or trauma – they don’t run away. It brings them closer.’

Francine Kaye, relationship expert and author of The Divorce Doctor, added: ‘There is an awful lot to be said for arranged marriages. They are determined to make it work.

‘I have seen in arranged marriages in the Orthodox Jewish community that the parents very carefully look at compatibility – it is not left to chance. They do their homework on their characteristics, their values, morals and life goals.

‘It should be pointed out that arranged marriages work because culturally marriage is seen differently. We have a very romantic view of marriage. Theirs is more pragmatic.

‘There is a downside to arranged marriages though – no matter how pragmatic you are in choosing a partner, there always needs to be chemistry.’

[mymy]

Marriage should be viewed more as business. There is no such thing as soul mate or love at first sight. In the past, few married because of such foolish emotions because their families were more involved in the decision process. The prospective groom had to get permission from the family of the prospective bride. He had to be able to support their daughter and be a responsible person and of good character.

True love takes years to develop, and most of those marriages developed into loving relationships. Mutual respect is key.

The reason divorce is so high is because people set these unrealistic expectations going into the relationship.

It's your opinion. I will rather choose not to marry at all, that do it like that. Conception of "free love" is much more moral and pure. I refuse to accept it even if it mean i will be exiled from society.


We can all try to find profs for our opinions, but the fact is that people are different and as i said, what is good for one, it's bad for another. We also have different opinions what is love.

P.S. I don't see that kind of marriage, neither the children from that marriage, as reason of my existence; so if you are right, in that case i really better pay more attention on my humanitarian work and trying to give at least a little love to those who doesn't have it.

[Monolith]

It's your opinion. I will rather choose not to marry at all, that do it like that. Conception of "free love" is much more moral and pure. I refuse to accept it even if it mean i will be exiled from society.

My, aren't you a rebel.

[zack]

It's your opinion. I will rather choose not to marry at all, that do it like that. Conception of "free love" is much more moral and pure. I refuse to accept it even if it mean i will be exiled from society.


We can all try to find profs for our opinions, but the fact is that people are different and as i said, what is good for one, it's bad for another. We also have different opinions what is love.

P.S. I don't see that kind of marriage, neither the children from that marriage, as reason of my existence; so if you are right, in that case i really better pay more attention on my humanitarian work and trying to give at least a little love to those who doesn't have it.

Now hold on here missy....i dont think i like this concept of 'free love'! Whats next..non-monogamy?

[Der Steinadler]

If they come back, good luck to the world. I am becoming a "courtesan" in a sign of rebellion.

you can only become what your truly are.

[mymy]

My, aren't you a rebel.

I am,absolutely (in society like this, i must be) Hm, maybe didn't write what i thought on proper way because i was o disappointed to think about grammar

Now hold on here missy....i dont think i like this concept of 'free love'! Whats next..non-monogamy?

No, no... I am 100% for monogamy and when i am with one person, i am really with him, with body and soul. But... i think that all this concept with arranged marriage is against monogamy, because if no emotions are involved in marriage, why would you be faithful to someone(remember Anna Karenina)? Humans aren't robots who only count and think what is good for them, emotions are part of life too. "Free lovers" are at least honest and don't hide under fake morality. That's what i thought. So, if i am free to choose who will i be with, who will i have kids with, i will feel obligation to be faithful, because it was my own decision based on my emotion and inner feelings, but if i am forced to be in arranged marriage i won't respect anything (and being in arranged marriage won't stop me waiting for my super hero who will save me from there).

[mymy]

you can only become what your truly are.

I am idealistic person who believe that good exist in all people on this world, but unfortunately it looks like nobody cares about it. This materialistic world is killing humanity in humans... And believing in good, makes me still believe in true love, and i won't accept nothing less than it. If world forget about basic human values, and accept concepts who support fake morality, i have no other choice than to become a nun or a courtesan. Luckily, there are people, who give me hope that things will become better.