Ive been betrayed again

[Hamilcar]

You're such a peculiar member, I like you. Trouble is fresh air on this forum. Keep up the good work bro !

[Westbrook]

Once again, someone I thought I could trust was going behind my back and talking shit/spilling secrets about me. This keeps happening to me no matter how trustworthy or kind the person seems. I think I will end up becoming too paranoid or cynical to form any relationships if this continues. Im desperate now and asking what are the warning signs of someone who can't be trusted? I thought I could tell but it seems I can't.

...

My Oma said if someone gossips to you, they also gossip about you...If they tell you other peoples business, they do the same behind your back. I've been reminded about it a lot in my life already.

[Harley]

i listened to a “friend” vent when i was a teen. i felt stressed out at the time and vented to them once. they took that opportunity to tell me i’m crazy and proceeded to tell everyone my business.

even in real life, people don’t care about damaging your stuff because it’s not theirs; as if that really is a distinction. i think treating people how you want to be treated is a very rare quality to find in people.

[Malagueña]

or maybe journal it.

Having a journal really helps, can confirm

[La Gallega]

Once again, someone I thought I could trust was going behind my back and talking shit/spilling secrets about me. This keeps happening to me no matter how trustworthy or kind the person seems. I think I will end up becoming too paranoid or cynical to form any relationships if this continues. Im desperate now and asking what are the warning signs of someone who can't be trusted? I thought I could tell but it seems I can't.

You need to learn to tolerate people gossiping about you. You have to tolerate the controversies attributed to you, no matter how baseless they might seem. All people are controversial, and this will always be the case no matter how hard anyone tries to demonstrate their integrity.

My advice is to just relax.

[stellan]

use this as a learning experience, don't let your guard down and don't trust anyone

[PaleoEuropean]

Yeah that whole "we want a sensitive man" thing is bullshit. Never fall for it.
Soon as you open up, expect to be back-stabbed 1-2 months down the line.
Works like clock-work every time & yes, all of them are like that.

Sensitive doesn't mean a pushover, insecure or weak though. Women want a man they don't have to feel on edge with not one that wines and cries all the time. If you are sensitive you better also be stoic or passionate. I haven't told even my parents or siblings my problems since I was too small to handle them myself. People just have to learn to be independent. When I feel blue I tell a bottle of Scotch, when I have a problem I handle it myself.

[Trouble]

You need to learn to tolerate people gossiping about you. You have to tolerate the controversies attributed to you, no matter how baseless they might seem. All people are controversial, and this will always be the case no matter how hard anyone tries to demonstrate their integrity.

My advice is to just relax.

It becomes a problem when 99% of what people believe about you is false...that is not the case at all here or in real life, but some corners of the internet, it's very easy for people to get the wrong impression and stick to it esp. if they're mean spirited.

[War Chef]

You need to learn to tolerate people gossiping about you. You have to tolerate the controversies attributed to you, no matter how baseless they might seem. All people are controversial, and this will always be the case no matter how hard anyone tries to demonstrate their integrity.

My advice is to just relax.

Yeah, he wasn't singled out in any way. They do it to everyone.
They just shit over here and then over there, and then a little over there.
I wouldn't take it so personally. Use it as a lesson not to open up so much.
I'm naturally a "open book" type but I've been becoming more shut-in, in a good way.

[Harley]

Its never 'them' always blame yourself. Always. Humans are 'reactionary'.

One thing I learned is to NEVER be vulnerable to anyone, always on Guard...even my son he dont know my insecurities. My fucking seed...I used to do social experiments especially with women and give them fake 'insecurities' to see if they use it against me, and they would eventually. And I'd be like, "hehe dumb bitch". Even with my wife I play this game. My only game tbh.

I only trust Allah

Yeah that whole "we want a sensitive man" thing is bullshit. Never fall for it.
Soon as you open up, expect to be back-stabbed 1-2 months down the line.
Works like clock-work every time & yes, all of them are like that.

i had a partner do this to me repeatedly, but then when i am stressed and he asks me what’s wrong, i tell him i am reluctant to open up to him based on his behavior when he’s pissed off, then he cussed and screamed at me to try and pressure the info.

i think it’s all character based, but definitely a negative feminine trait.