Honest opinion: Do you think I've wasted my life?

[Richmondbread]

Okay, so in my 40s my life is pretty much half over. I decided that I made a lot of mistakes. However, what I did was I put myself out there and pursued my music, which even though I flopped, I tremendously improved my innate skills and my craft. I ignored my love life and pursuit of females when I was younger. This makes me feel I missed out. However, I might have missed opportunities had I gotten involved with females when I was younger. So far, I have written over 300 songs. I did get to play a small part as a featured extra in a Hollywood film. I got to sing at America's Polo Cup and toured Nashville. I was a hit for awhile with Hipsters. Most of my 20s and 30s were spent on singing in small clubs and coffee shops with my band. When I was 17 years old I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. The way I look at it, God's Kingdom comes first over relationships and career.

However, I did spend a lot of my early days on the internet posting on forums like this one and arguing with people. I mad a lot of enemies that way. That is one of my main regrets.

[Jansob]

Well, so far you haven’t done as much as you should have, but you’ve gotten a ton of good advice on how to get things on track, both here and on your own site. It boils down to this: Get a full time job so you can be independent, get seriously involved with your church (the volunteer programs in particular), stop posting so much online. See a cognitive therapist to help you stop obsessing over things you can’t do anything about, like race and ethnicity. Don’t stop the music, but don’t rely on it to pay the bills.

Don’t focus on what you haven’t done, but what you can do from now on. You probably have another 50 years left, 40 isn’t old anymore.

PS: Cognitive therapy is not drugs or Freudian weirdness, it’s practical solid common sense techniques for recognizing and stopping patterns of thought that are making you unhappy. It’s more coaching than anything else. Lots of Christian therapists use it. I’ve done it and it works.

[sean]

Do you think I've wasted my life?

Obviously yes.

Okay, so in my 40s my life is pretty much half over. I decided that I made a lot of mistakes. I ignored my love life and pursuit of females when I was younger. This makes me feel I missed out. However, I did spend a lot of my early days on the internet posting on forums like this one and arguing with people. I made a lot of enemies that way.

Then get off. You can either continue wasting your life by posting, or save your time by trying not to post, your pick. If you browse boards that involve trolling and wasting your life hours at a time, you are failing. Maybe back in 1998, but especially now in your 40's there is simply no excuse. Nobody cares about your existence or problems and I see no point in wasting anymore of your time on the Internet.

I'm sure you could find a much better paying job in real life and lose the constant stress and harassment you get here.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

Okay, so in my 40s my life is pretty much half over.

With that negative attitude, you'll go nowhere.

I decided that I made a lot of mistakes. However, what I did was I put myself out there and pursued my music, which even though I flopped, I tremendously improved my innate skills and my craft. I ignored my love life and pursuit of females when I was younger. This makes me feel I missed out. However, I might have missed opportunities had I gotten involved with females when I was younger.

You were never going to have a real relationship with a woman and so I don't know why you waste energy thinking about it.

As for your music, it's obvious your music wasn't going to attract a wide audience. It's a niche within a niche. However, would you have been happier working in a cubicle or a warehouse? I doubt it.

So far, I have written over 300 songs. I did get to play a small part as a featured extra in a Hollywood film. I got to sing at America's Polo Cup and toured Nashville. I was a hit for awhile with Hipsters. Most of my 20s and 30s were spent on singing in small clubs and coffee shops with my band. When I was 17 years old I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. The way I look at it, God's Kingdom comes first over relationships and career.

You pretty much made the only choice you could have made as someone who does have musical talent but also has a number of issues.

However, I did spend a lot of my early days on the internet posting on forums like this one and arguing with people. I mad a lot of enemies that way. That is one of my main regrets.

Your early years are when you work on your craft. You can't have those years back. What you can do is follow the advice that I've already given: become a street performer. They make a killing and it's all in cash and so you can hide most of it from the rapacious taxman. You're too old to start a career. So work with what you have, which is what you love, and go make that money, dude.

[Anglo-Celtic]

I'm done with this. You just care about yourself, so maybe practice what you whine.

[Anglo-Celtic]

Then get off. You can either continue wasting your life by posting, or save your time by trying not to post, your pick. If you browse boards that involve trolling and wasting your life hours at a time, you are failing. Maybe back in 1998, but especially now in your 40's there is simply no excuse. Nobody cares about your existence or problems and I see no point in wasting anymore of your time on the Internet.

Oh, the irony! Oh, the projection!

[Longbowman]

Yes. But we all 'waste' parts of our lives. Striking a perfect balance between work and play is impossible. You tried to make it as a musician and you didn't get there. Sure, it could be if you'd played your cards differently you might have had more success (or not, I simply don't know) but either way you tried, and you'd hate yourself for not having tried had you not tried. I do not disrespect you for trying this.

However, you have absolutely and empirically wasted your social life. By not making real friendships or pursuing relationships and arrogantly expecting the mountain to come to Mohammad you have not only not got any friends or a girlfriend but you have retarded the limited social skills you had when you started making these shitty decisions, presumably after school.

Now you get to decide if the next 25 years are going to be the same as the last 25.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

Yes. But we all 'waste' parts of our lives. Striking a perfect balance between work and play is impossible. You tried to make it as a musician and you didn't get there. Sure, it could be if you'd played your cards differently you might have had more success (or not, I simply don't know) but either way you tried, and you'd hate yourself for not having tried had you not tried. I do not disrespect you for trying this.

However, you have absolutely and empirically wasted your social life. By not making real friendships or pursuing relationships and arrogantly expecting the mountain to come to Mohammad you have not only not got any friends or a girlfriend but you have retarded the limited social skills you had when you started making these shitty decisions, presumably after school.

Now you get to decide if the next 25 years are going to be the same as the last 25.

But is it really his fault he doesn't have friends or a girlfriend? He obviously has issues he didn't choose to have. I've never seen someone with limited social skills turn that ship around. It's just the way they are.

He needs to find his happiness within his limitations. This isn't an insult. We all have our limitations. Can I ever ankle pick like Cael Sanderson? No. Does it keep me up at night? It has but I learned to accept it and find what makes me happy.



Those ankle picks are so sweet it just hurts to watch but I accept the pain and move forward.

[Longbowman]

But is it really his fault he doesn't have friends or a girlfriend? He obviously has issues he didn't choose to have. I've never seen someone with limited social skills turn that ship around. It's just the way they are.

Not everyone is dealt natural pocket rockets but RB isn't a low-functioning austistic person. In fact, it's ultimately just his narcissism (and spite, which is for him a byproduct of his narcissism) that makes him unlikeable, rather than any other personality trait. You can get past all the rest. I don't know if he was born a narcissist. If so then it would have been difficult and ultimately unwise for him to have ever married, but I think narcissism develops over time. Maybe he was just shy and awkward as a kid and chose to isolate socially and developed his self-centredness when he was his own universe. We don't know.

[Hulu]

You are very effective at eliciting replies for pretty much the same questions. Kudos.