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You have flooded the Internet with pictures of yourself during these periods so I'm not sure if I agree with your understanding of "reasonable".
At face value, you are talking about a time 20 years ago and 10 years ago. As we age, it becomes harder to stay in shape. let alone getting into shape after years of being very heavy. I hope for your sake you actually do lose the weight and keep it off. However, nothing changes if nothing changes. Maybe there are things blocking you from actually achieving your goals.
We aren't responsible for many of our issues. However, only when they are recognized can positive steps be taken to overcome them.
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