Why do women get shamed for being golddiggers / having standards?

[Universe]

They get hated and ridiculed for being gold diggers, but do they deserve it? Is it morally wrong to be a gold digger / wanting a successful man? Or is it something good? If women choose successful man for breeding that's good for humanity because good genes will prevail. I get the impression that these days low iq, unsuccessful and stupid people breed too much. Maybe female gold digging and polygamy (successful / wealthy man having multiple wives) should be encouraged?

[Immanenz]

as a teenie i condemned it, but i realized women will have random criteria which is as bad- maybe even worse than gold diggers have, so i dont blame them wanting the easy life or whatever by getting a rich man. i do not believe successfull people will have superior genes because there is so much variation in human genom- but a successfull man prooves he can provide for the future and the kids will have more chances coming from a rich household.

[Duke]

I always thought gold diggers as psychopaths, or women with psychopathic tendencies.
Not looking to make emotional connection, just acts on on interests.

Thing is money doesn't buy happiness, its an acclimation process that quickly becomes new normal, and as soon as she gets used to money, you have got a cold women on your hands that despises your greedy ass.
Relationships only work when women is 3 times out of 4 in charge, so you can easily build resentment as you bought them, and you feel you didnt get your moneys worth.

It cultural, and its complicated.

[Rumata]

Because kids first need a strong family. A lot of gold isn't priority for that.

And in a capitalist society it's not always the better who a richer. Far from that. Just look how many modern politicians are voluntarily childless.

[White Swan]

Because kids first need a strong family. A lot of gold isn't priority for that.

And in a capitalist society it's not always the better who a richer. Far from that. Just look how many modern politicians are voluntarily childless.

This is true, plenty of people throughout history had several children without being very rich at all. It's a whole conversation right now; "why aren't young people having children?". One of the most popular answers is the economy, which I understand but is also patently not a very good explanation. It's not lack of money, it's expectation of decadent living; children are not as important to them as having stuff. To give an apologia, they are under the impression that life isn't worth living without what they see as a necessary standard of living, and therefore its cruel to bring children into the world. However, I maintain that life isn't worth living without family and love rather than the living standards we are accustomed too, and that it is better to have lived, loved, and struggled than to not have lived at all. I think many people are about to wish they'd accepted a low standard of living in order to have the ability to own land.

On the gold digger issue, I have come to think of it as a spectrum, both ends being bad. On one end you have goldiggers, on the other end you have women who lack self respect and discretion in choosing a viable mate. It can be complicated, my teenage self for instance, I wanted to be as far from a gold digger as possible and thought that if I was a good woman I ought to be with a loser to prove it. Lol sounds ridiculous, I know. But I think there is psychology involved there that makes good sense of such a nonsensical view. Interesting conversation OP

[White Swan]

as a teenie i condemned it, but i realized women will have random criteria which is as bad- maybe even worse than gold diggers have, so i dont blame them wanting the easy life or whatever by getting a rich man. i do not believe successfull people will have superior genes because there is so much variation in human genom- but a successfull man prooves he can provide for the future and the kids will have more chances coming from a rich household.

Good point, one doesn't need to be rich but it is preferable to have the qualities that would lead to generational wealth for the natural desire to provide for even the grandchildren and give them a better life than one had. There are of course objectively good and bad qualities that lead to generational wealth, so maybe the problem isn't a woman who wants a rich man, but rather a woman who doesn't care how he obtained the riches.

[ugochaves]

To each his own.

[Rumata]

This is true, plenty of people throughout history had several children without being very rich at all. It's a whole conversation right now; "why aren't young people having children?". One of the most popular answers is the economy, which I understand but is also patently not a very good explanation. It's not lack of money, it's expectation of decadent living; children are not as important to them as having stuff. To give an apologia, they are under the impression that life isn't worth living without what they see as a necessary standard of living, and therefore its cruel to bring children into the world. However, I maintain that life isn't worth living without family and love rather than the living standards we are accustomed too, and that it is better to have lived, loved, and struggled than to not have lived at all. I think many people are about to wish they'd accepted a low standard of living in order to have the ability to own land.

Your words are golden.

On the gold digger issue, I have come to think of it as a spectrum, both ends being bad. On one end you have goldiggers, on the other end you have women who lack self respect and discretion in choosing a viable mate. It can be complicated, my teenage self for instance, I wanted to be as far from a gold digger as possible and thought that if I was a good woman I ought to be with a loser to prove it. Lol sounds ridiculous, I know. But I think there is psychology involved there that makes good sense of such a nonsensical view. Interesting conversation OP

It's all right for a woman to expect considerable support from her man. Just it's abnormal to expect money only when there're so many other things to consider. A woman that is focused on the money probably thinks first about herself rather than the family.

[InmostLight]

Wanting a rich guy so that you can use him for money is being a gold digger.

Wanting a financially stable guy for the sake of your children and home is just being reasonable and responsible. Women should be shamed for seeking a man's wealth to increase their own lifestyle instead of doing it themselves, but women should not be shamed for seeking men with sufficient wealth to provide their future children with ample resources (and a full-time mother if she chooses to stay home).

[White Swan]

I always thought gold diggers as psychopaths, or women with psychopathic tendencies.
Not looking to make emotional connection, just acts on on interests.

Thing is money doesn't buy happiness, its an acclimation process that quickly becomes new normal, and as soon as she gets used to money, you have got a cold women on your hands that despises your greedy ass.
Relationships only work when women is 3 times out of 4 in charge, so you can easily build resentment as you bought them, and you feel you didnt get your moneys worth.

It cultural, and its complicated.

Good point, it's a common philosophical principle that people who think to themselves, "I need ____ to be happy", will never be happy. A true goldigger would never be satisfied, no matter how much monkey-branching she accomplishes. The man would then also be unsatisfied, assuming his goal was to please her, since she can never be pleased. What do you mean by "3 out of 4 times", this sounds like it might be based on some theory, or were you just speaking colloquially?