You mean that you want to be more assertive, confident, and self-assured without being disagreeable?
I know that you are a sweetie, and women tend to be more agreeable than men, because men prefer agreeable women.
As a single young woman, in some/most situations, it helps to be nice and agreeable.
But do not be a doormat either, or people (including men) will walk all over you, take advantage of you, disrespect you.
You will have to decide in which situations to be nice, tactful, and diplomatic,
and in which situations to be unyielding, blunt, direct, and surly.
Some disagreeability is necessary in life,
is the inevitable result of inner strength and the ego-strength to keep to your principles and convictions.
You are under NO obligation to cooperate with, agree with, or do something that violates your conscience, convictions.
This will make you disagreeable. You decide in which situations you want to be temporarily more diplomatic.
But never compromise your fundamental principles or violate your conscience.
If you are conscientious, intelligent, firm and consistent, then you will be respected and liked by
the people that truly matter.
You might try to dress and behave more conservatively, less "quirky and unique",
but if you are in a very artsy liberal environment, this may have the opposite effect, they may begin to see you as "square".
Do they see you as inferior physically/aesthetically or emotionally? (probably not intellectually, you seem smart to me)
What kind of people see you this way, in what environment?
How I answer will depend on your response.
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