Why do a majority of females find me repulsive?

[Annie999]

Why do you say average and what does this mean? You mean I can't be handsome? ever?

Not you again focusing in the same old thing and ignoring the actual issues

[Richmondbread]

You again focusing in the same old thing and ignoring the actual issues

You just confirmed everything, thanks. You are a female telling me I'm average. Average means ugly in female language. That's just awful. What can I do to be handsome then?

[Richmondbread]

I want to be handsome.

[BakersfieldChimp]

I want to be handsome.

We don't get what we want.
We don't get what we need
We get what we get.

With someone so obsessed with their looks, it is kind of sad that you wasted what should have been the best looking years of your life chronically overweight.

That takes a few ticks off someone's looks and it is something you should have been able to do something about.

[kevinmac]

Modern females suck. Ignore them and that will show them you're doing them a favor by giving them attention.

[Saitama]

I want to be handsome.

I mean, if you work on just living your life and waking up every day and thinking "there is nothing wrong with my appearance, I am not deformed, etc" then eventually someday you may actually be able to think to yourself "y'know, brown eyes or hair can be mysterious.. I look like a sophisticated gentleman" or just.. Stop placing so much damn emphasis on your appearance? There are billions of humans.. Yes, people care about appearance, but don't you leave your house?

There's a metric fuck ton of average looking people dating other average looking people and they're all pretty damn happy about it, man. There's more to it than simply looks, you also need to be attracted to their personality and their mind. Talking to someone who looks pretty good but is a boring idiot is fucking painful. YOU are so down on yourself and have made a damn Olympus Mons out of what could easily be mole hills, that it's totally making it nearly impossible for you to simply live your life and gradually and slowly reach the general state of mind that it'll take for you to be ready to accept someone into your life. You look like a normal dude. I've seen countless men that look similar to you or physically quite unfortunate in the face who still have families, have lives, are just normal dudes living normal unremarkable but fulfilling lives.

Also, when your entire life revolves around worrying and over-obsessing about yourself, it kind of makes it impossible to DEVELOP a sense of self or to have hobbies or other things that also make you attractive to women. To any random girl on the street that you find attractive, you'll either just shut off around them or close yourself off to any interactions with them. Or you'll be overthinking it or worried about making the greatest impression or the best outcome in the interaction that you're gonna come across as a sweating eye-bulging weirdo. There's so much more to your life that your mentality and outlook and attitude will affect than you'll ever actually realize.

When people give you simple stupid bullshit ideas in how to achieve the goals that you're hoping to achieve.... Well, they sound like bullshit because they're obvious, but you're likely NOT really doing them. These changes don't occur overnight, or without consistent conscious pre-planning and effort on your part. You think as a grown ass adult with behavioral and thought patterns engrained into your noggin, that you're going to just snap your fingers and become the type of person who will be more alluring to any random woman on first encounter? Given what you're presenting here mentally, and the fact that you probably post neurotic shit constantly, and are also seemingly neuro-atypical/autistic to some degree from what I read you say, that alone is an objective barrier to socialization as it affects the way that you interact with others and how you perceive interactions or process them, on a profound level.

Mate, you've got a LOT of work to do, but it isn't really so much physically unless you're still overweight or out of shape. That never hurts. Lifting will literally elevate your mood as well, through the release of dopamine and the satisfaction of reaching smaller goals on the road to a broader change. You wouldn't stop brushing your teeth or else they'd rot out, would ya? Same thing with your body. It should be seen as a medical/health NECESSITY for EVERYONE, male and female.

I could keep ranting, but it's always frustrating to see someone like this repeatedly cry out for help online because they genuinely feel or believe that they don't know what else they can do and are just so self-paralyzed/desperate/depressed that it's not even funny. I used to be there, buddy. I'm turning 31 and still kind of a broke mofo but am working on that as well. Mentally and socially, I've never been in a better position to meet someone nice and if it wasn't for my last job being extremely demanding in terms of hours/days worked I'd have probably gone out and met someone by now. I get a fair amount of attention nowadays just casually interacting with strangers on the streets nowadays, whereas before I was too withdrawn and awkward to even try and if I did it likely didn't come across very well. It's never too late, brother. You're just wasting your time with this song and dance to internet strangers who can't really help you.

You basically probably need a specialist who can help you navigate the world as someone with Aspergers, for starters. That is a legitimate barrier that will always be in your way whether you care to acknowledge it or not. You might even be better off trying to find social groups for people whose brains are wired similarly, or dating services or meet up events or such. Good luck mate, feel free to PM me any time.

[Richmondbread]

I mean, if you work on just living your life and waking up every day and thinking "there is nothing wrong with my appearance, I am not deformed, etc" then eventually someday you may actually be able to think to yourself "y'know, brown eyes or hair can be mysterious.. I look like a sophisticated gentleman" or just.. Stop placing so much damn emphasis on your appearance? There are billions of humans.. Yes, people care about appearance, but don't you leave your house?

There's a metric fuck ton of average looking people dating other average looking people and they're all pretty damn happy about it, man. There's more to it than simply looks, you also need to be attracted to their personality and their mind. Talking to someone who looks pretty good but is a boring idiot is fucking painful. YOU are so down on yourself and have made a damn Olympus Mons out of what could easily be mole hills, that it's totally making it nearly impossible for you to simply live your life and gradually and slowly reach the general state of mind that it'll take for you to be ready to accept someone into your life. You look like a normal dude. I've seen countless men that look similar to you or physically quite unfortunate in the face who still have families, have lives, are just normal dudes living normal unremarkable but fulfilling lives.

Also, when your entire life revolves around worrying and over-obsessing about yourself, it kind of makes it impossible to DEVELOP a sense of self or to have hobbies or other things that also make you attractive to women. To any random girl on the street that you find attractive, you'll either just shut off around them or close yourself off to any interactions with them. Or you'll be overthinking it or worried about making the greatest impression or the best outcome in the interaction that you're gonna come across as a sweating eye-bulging weirdo. There's so much more to your life that your mentality and outlook and attitude will affect than you'll ever actually realize.

When people give you simple stupid bullshit ideas in how to achieve the goals that you're hoping to achieve.... Well, they sound like bullshit because they're obvious, but you're likely NOT really doing them. These changes don't occur overnight, or without consistent conscious pre-planning and effort on your part. You think as a grown ass adult with behavioral and thought patterns engrained into your noggin, that you're going to just snap your fingers and become the type of person who will be more alluring to any random woman on first encounter? Given what you're presenting here mentally, and the fact that you probably post neurotic shit constantly, and are also seemingly neuro-atypical/autistic to some degree from what I read you say, that alone is an objective barrier to socialization as it affects the way that you interact with others and how you perceive interactions or process them, on a profound level.

Mate, you've got a LOT of work to do, but it isn't really so much physically unless you're still overweight or out of shape. That never hurts. Lifting will literally elevate your mood as well, through the release of dopamine and the satisfaction of reaching smaller goals on the road to a broader change. You wouldn't stop brushing your teeth or else they'd rot out, would ya? Same thing with your body. It should be seen as a medical/health NECESSITY for EVERYONE, male and female.

I could keep ranting, but it's always frustrating to see someone like this repeatedly cry out for help online because they genuinely feel or believe that they don't know what else they can do and are just so self-paralyzed/desperate/depressed that it's not even funny. I used to be there, buddy. I'm turning 31 and still kind of a broke mofo but am working on that as well. Mentally and socially, I've never been in a better position to meet someone nice and if it wasn't for my last job being extremely demanding in terms of hours/days worked I'd have probably gone out and met someone by now. I get a fair amount of attention nowadays just casually interacting with strangers on the streets nowadays, whereas before I was too withdrawn and awkward to even try and if I did it likely didn't come across very well. It's never too late, brother. You're just wasting your time with this song and dance to internet strangers who can't really help you.

You basically probably need a specialist who can help you navigate the world as someone with Aspergers, for starters. That is a legitimate barrier that will always be in your way whether you care to acknowledge it or not. You might even be better off trying to find social groups for people whose brains are wired similarly, or dating services or meet up events or such. Good luck mate, feel free to PM me any time.

I understand what you are saying. But no one is giving me and answer about what I need to do to be handsome..they just
give me platitudes . I'm looking for improvement..I can't even tell what is handsome vs average anymore myself.

[Insuperable]

You just confirmed everything, thanks. You are a female telling me I'm average. Average means ugly in female language. That's just awful. What can I do to be handsome then?

It's hard not to agree with you here, especially since you live in the US where standards are high. But like other have said you being average is the least of your problems.

What can I do to be handsome then?

Maybe if you can get a couple of billions of dollars.

[Richmondbread]

It's hard not to agree with you here, especially since you live in the US where standards are high. But like other have said you being average is the least of your problems.



Maybe if you can get a couple of billions of dollars.

You don't answer my question. What makes me average and what can
I do to change my appearance other than losing more weight,?
Perhaps when I lose weight I will be handsome? If I don't have a handsome face
Then I need some kind of surgery . What do I need ?

[Saitama]

I understand what you are saying. But no one is giving me and answer about what I need to do to be handsome..they just
give me platitudes . I'm looking for improvement..I can't even tell what is handsome vs average anymore myself.

If you read a lot of what I said, you can literally become more ATTRACTIVE (like, a woman will be more drawn to you through your actions/demeanor which IS a major part of it...) It's like a fisherman grabbing the best tackle box, the highest quality rod and the juiciest worm that's been genetically modified to release pheromones that drive fish crazy.... And casting the rod out at the fucking sand and thinking "man... this rod really blows... I thought this was a high quality rod, dude? why the fuck am I not catching anything? I just pierced that dude's ball sack through his tight ass swimming trunks with my hook as he slept on his beach towel and now he's coming over here pissed as fuck with his nut sack bleeding... Where did I go wrong?"

You literally have to come to the profound epitome that... Changing your mind, can change your actions and how you present yourself physically to the world... Which can change how women will first PERCEIVE you with their eye balls, and then how they may react to your approach which will change with a change of your mind... It's a very complex process, but will not begin to occur until you stop posting 10,000+ posts on an anonymous board about how ugly you might or might not be or how women will only talk to a guy with x traits... The world isn't fair, people are judgmental, but I can tell ya, I could be reborn in your body and I'd still find a halfway decent looking women at some point in my life who would be willing to be my partner. Start taking on more hobbies, or get one if you have none.

If you have a skill that can be "marketed" to others, first do it because you love to do it and/or are good at it. Find something you love to do and can be passionate about. That is always positive and will draw others in potentially. You have to tread that line of doing things for YOU, but also because those things can benefit you by being more attractive. Someone who just walks around everywhere trying to over-sell/qualify themselves to the world is very transparent and it comes across as inauthentic and even scared, certainly lame. Someone with no purpose or passion is just going to be duller than if they had that.

I gave you plenty of "answers".. There will be no ONE answer. Literally any one of the points that I made could lead you down the right path if you were willing to just be proactive. Sitting here typing out cries for help will get you nowhere. You are not ugly, you are good enough for someone out there.

I mean, I don't know what sort of woman you even have in mind to begin with physically, but you should just get that sort of thinking out of your head. That alone is already self-sabotaging yourself before you've even gotten started. Just try to MEET a woman. ANY woman. Sounds like you're not even doing that as far as I can tell. You've got thousands of posts on this board and likely regularly post these sorts of things. That's such a waste of time that could've been spent getting good at a skill or hobby, which can open up opportunities to meet people and thus women and build confidence and self worth in yourself which translates to a more alluring demeanor and personality. It's really not that hard, it might just take time. Learning to accept and truly like yourself physically and mentally is also something that CAN be an overnight thing in theory, but clearly us men can cling to self-pitying narratives rather than just lose the ego and stop being little bitches about pre-conceived notions of ourselves that we have.

Work on yourself so that it goes well when you actually interact with a real life woman standing in front of you. Who cares what some faceless stranger says about your appearance? It could be a 400 lb dude living in another country entirely who is mad at the world and would rather hurt others than help himself be better. You'll just blindly take their empty insults/critiques as gospel... Or maybe get a little high off of some positive words until some other situation crashes the temporary self esteem that SOMEONE ELSE gave you. Build the type of positive beliefs that others cannot take away from you with mere pathetic words.

See who will actually interact with you before you start getting picky in your mind. I'm not saying to not have standards. Figure out what those standards are as the women actually become available for dating in your life. You can't even get to that point yet. People are not animals that you can capture with the right bait.. Like, in some primal way, sure, they sort of are. But they are not mindless slaves to those instincts of attraction. Attraction is NOT solely the only thing at play here, clearly. I know a guy who looks literally like Maksim Chermovskiy and while he's quite a bit older and more settled down, he did do very well with women, but if he sat at home all day in his 20s/30s he wouldn't have done jack shit. Go out somewhere to talk to people, talk to women, just try to be fun and/or funny like most people. It's NOT that difficult.

I hope you do take SOMETHING away from what I'm saying... All of these aspects are inter-connected. Being 'handsome' is really much more than just your face or your body. Most guys just struggle to comprehend that, or never do.