Among the asexuals
In a society obsessed with sex, it's hard if you have no sexual desire at all. Some are searching for a new form of intimacy
"OK," writes Annette, in an introductory email: "I am 47 but look younger, probably because I take good care of myself and also do not have the stress of a husband and kids." At first glance it reads like the "describe yourself" section of a dating site, which is ironic, considering that Annette is one of several people responding to my search for case studies on a forum for people who are asexual. That is, people who have little to no interest in sex. "I live in a dull suburb in Minnesota and right now I'm eating lunch (and typing) at the law firm where I work as a paralegal. My job makes me happy to be asexual, as I see all the divorce cases and what really goes on. Yeah, really – the crap that is going on in the suburbs: her husband left her for his boyfriend, stuff like that."
Annette writes in the breathless, self-assured style of any typical, busy American too pushed for time to mince their words. Life as an asexual person in the suburbs has thrown her some curveballs, like the woman at her local church group who prayed she would find a husband, chanting: "Saint Anne! Saint Anne! Find her a man!" Or the time a relative, apparently perplexed by Annette's perpetual singledom, secretly signed her up to a dating agency. She's still getting newsletters from the company years later.
It's estimated that 1% of the world's population is asexual, although research is limited. Annette and others like her have never and probably will never experience sexual attraction. She has been single her whole life, something she repeatedly says that she is more than happy about.
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