You are a Latvian if...

[Waidewut]

I noticed one of these kind of joke-lists about what are the requirement to be certain you are a Greek, and because these kind of generalization jokes are very popular here too, I'll post some.

1. you try to prove everyone that Latvia is in Northern Europe, not Eastern
2. tall blonde beauties in short skirts are nothing special for you anymore
3. you specify ‘no gas’ when asking for mineral water.
4. every year in the end of June you go to countryside with friends to have some beer and eat some cheese
5. you get used to explain abroad where Latvia is
6. you get shocked if somebody abroad does know where Latvia is.
7. you are proud that Latvian Lat is the most expensive currency
8. the phrase “go to seaside” means for you 15-20 minutes by car
9. ice hockey has become the most important thing in your life
10. half of the population working as “managers” seems reasonable to you
11. half of your friends disappear to study or work in Ireland or UK and you think that’s normal
12. you’ve learned the hard way that a triangle means women’s toilet and a triangle upside down means men’s
13. anything goes wrong you blame the Russians
14. anything goes wrong you blame the Latvians
15. you think hot chocolate means melted chocolate and you love it
16. you see someone smiling in public, you think: well, a bloody foreigner
17. a meal for you must contain either potato or meat, but usually both
18. you are afraid crossing a street, especially at zebra crossings or traffic lights
19. you feel guilty entering a flat wearing your shoes
20. everything 50m above sea-level seems like a mountain
21. you start counting the ground floor as first floor
22. you love the Baltic Sea and go swimming there at nearly any temperature
23. you love going to the Sauna, but always leave your trunks/bikini on
24. you consider Latvia the best and worst place on earth – at the same time
25. you put an “s” or “a” at the end of foreign names, so you can conjugate them
26. In your eyes Coca Cola is the unhealthiest drink in the world and that drinking lots of beer, sugary juice and bread drink prolongs your life
27. you are trying to buy alcohol before 10 o’clock in the evening, but just in case you store some alcohol at home
28. hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay
29. you accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.
30. also, you accept -30 outside as a reasonable temperature, but anything under 22 indoors is unreasonable…
31. you sincerely believe that Laima is the best chocolate in the world.
32. you think it’s normal to not pay income taxes and know what is to get salary in envelope.
33. you’re not sure what to do when the traffic police only asks you to pay the official fine.
34. you know more than 50 Janis.
35. you know more than 20 Ligas, Ilzes, (each!)
36. you think metal doors are a necessity.
37. you can’t even imagine what is gallon, farenheits, inches or pound.
38. you know the difference between trolleybus and bus
39. you never smile in public when you’re alone
40. you laugh at Russian jokes.
41. you actually get these jokes.
42. you have crossed river on ice, because it was a shortcut
43. you don’t wonder when see a black big car with number plate “GARIK” or “SUPER”
44. you don’t know anyone who speaks less than 2 languages, and just few who speaks more than 3

[Queen B]

Nice list !!!!!!!

3. you specify ‘no gas’ when asking for mineral water.

I had this problem in Germany. I could hardly fine normal water -> no gas.
How the f@ck you drink that in regular basis?

16. you see someone smiling in public, you think: well, a bloody foreigner

Quite the opposite from Greece.

18. you are afraid crossing a street, especially at zebra crossings or traffic lights

Well, first think in common

24. you consider Latvia the best and worst place on earth – at the same time

Second common (about Greece)

28. hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay

29. you accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.

[lI]

These fit LT too

2. tall blonde beauties in short skirts are nothing special for you anymore
3. you specify ‘no gas’ when asking for mineral water.
4. every year in the end of June you go to countryside with friends to have some beer and eat some cheese šašlykas
5. you get used to explain abroad where Latvia Lithuania is
6. you get shocked if somebody abroad does know where Latvia Lithuania is.
9. ice hockey basketball has become the most important thing in your life
10. half of the population working as “managers” seems reasonable to you
11. half of your friends disappear to study or work in Ireland or UK and you think that’s normal
13. anything goes wrong you blame the Russians
14. anything goes wrong you blame the Latvians Lithuanians
15. you think hot chocolate means melted chocolate and you love it
16. you see someone smiling in public, you think: well, a bloody foreigner
17. a meal for you must contain either potato or meat, but usually both
18. you are afraid crossing a street, especially at zebra crossings or traffic lights
19. you feel guilty entering a flat wearing your shoes
20. everything 50m above sea-level seems like a mountain
21. you start counting the ground floor as first floor
22. you love the Baltic Sea and go swimming there at nearly any temperature
23. you love going to the Sauna, but always leave your trunks/bikini on
24. you consider Latvia Lithuania the best and worst place on earth – at the same time
25. you put an “s” "as" or “a” at the end of foreign names, so you can conjugate them
26. In your eyes Coca Cola is the unhealthiest drink in the world and that drinking lots of beer and malt drink (kvass?) prolongs your life
27. you are trying to buy alcohol before 10 o’clock in the evening, but just in case you store some alcohol at home
28. hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay
29. you accept that 80 degrees C in a sauna is chilly, but 20 degrees C outside is freaking hot.
30. also, you accept -30 outside as a reasonable temperature, but anything under 22 indoors is unreasonable…
32. you think it’s normal to not pay income taxes and know what is to get salary in envelope.
33. you’re not sure what to do when the traffic police only asks you to pay the official fine.
34. you know more than 50 Janis Jonas.
36. you think metal (armoured?) doors are a necessity.
37. you can’t even imagine what is gallon, farenheits, inches or pound.
38. you know the difference between trolleybus and bus
39. you never smile in public when you’re alone
40. you laugh at Russian jokes.
41. you actually get these jokes.
42. you have crossed river on ice, because it was a shortcut
43. you don’t wonder when see a black big car with number plate “SUPER”
44. you don’t know anyone who speaks less than 2 languages, and just few who speaks more than 3

This one bloody hell doesn't though:

1. you try to prove everyone that Latvia is in Northern Europe, not Eastern

[lI]

linkus, what about these:

10. Half of people in LT study "management". It's really the most popular subject, is it not? ("half" is obviously an exaggeration, but I assumed that it was an exaggeration for Latvia too)

11. Emigration from LT to UK and especially to Ireland is very big. Guess which country I'm at? Yup

19. In Western countries, not taking your shoes off at home is fine (or not as rude as in LT, at least).

39. Obviously, "never" is just another exaggeration but Lithuanians are grim people, even compared to Poles or Russians.

[lI]

I'm not basing my impression on what I heard from Poles (at least not primarily so) but rather what people who have visited the region say. By "grim" I din't mean "nasty" though, just stern, reserved, gloomy. It's also very true that Lithuanians tend to give less bother to being polite

[Harmonia]

5. you get used to explain abroad where Latvia is (Replacing Latvia with Lithuania here)
11. half of your friends disappear to study or work in Ireland or UK and you think that’s normal

Sad truth in Lithuania

[Ants]

23. you love going to the Sauna, but always leave your trunks/bikini on

[Waidewut]

Crazy Latvians...
I agree with you.

[Rooster]

39. you never smile in public when you’re alone

God, these facts are so true.

[loulou]

You and your friends have no child (one of the lowest fertility rate in the world)