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Thread: A Few Jokes

  1. #351
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    Decisions... Decisions... Do you currently have anyone you deem worthy of being a recipient of this thoughtful gift card?



    Stop the hate, separate!

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    Cool The Funniest Joke in the World

    Don't laugh, this is deadly serious...

    [YOUTUBE]8gpjk_MaCGM[/YOUTUBE]

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    Me: My dog's got no nose.

    Friend: How does he smell?

    Me: Awful!

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    How do you make a Nazi cross?

    Stand on his corn.

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    Ever heard of a weeping crab?

    It's the kind of a crab that crawls on your stomach and bawls.

  6. #356
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    Mubarak meets his predecessors Anwar Sadat and Gamal Abdel Nasser while walking through Hell: ’Posioned or murdered?’, they ask him. ’Neither’, Mubarak replies: ’Facebook!’

    (I found this one in today's Trouw (a Dutch newspaper) where it had been placed by the writer of a news article. The joke itself was translated from Egyptian Arab)



    Wake up and smell the coffee.


  7. #357
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    Looks of Disappointment

    A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again.

    His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side.

    A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute." The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful', it was now 'cute'.

    She asked, "What happened to beautiful?"

    The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off."


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  8. #358
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    Pest Control

    A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

    "Quick!" said the woman to the lover, "Into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

    The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

    "Who are you?" he asked him.

    "I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

    "What are you doing in there?" the husband asked..

    "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

    "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

    The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards!".


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  9. #359
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    The Rutte cabinet.

    All in all a collection of piss poor jokes and sorry excuses for human beings. Including the ring leader and the party condoning that piss poor cabinet.



    Wake up and smell the coffee.


  10. #360
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    Marriage Humor

    Wife: "What are you doing?"

    Husband: "Nothing."

    Wife: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."

    Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."


    Stop the hate, separate!

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