I’m Not Mad; I’m an Introvert

[Azalea]

I used to eat my lunch on the toilet just for some peace and quiet!

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting to bump into people you don't want to know. I do this all the time! Besides, its important to have alone time no matter how busy or active you are otherwise. We all need a break sometimes.

It's not people that I didn't want to know, I just didn't want to talk to anyone, including my closest friends. But the breaks were different, I was always with my friends during breaks.

I guess there are various degrees of introvertism (is that a word?).

[Azalea]

Wow, I am really an introvert. One funny fact is that I do speak better to a crowd than to a small group of people. In the University when we have a lecture to do to the rest of the class I always get the highest grade.

Although I am not really an extreme introvert, I definitely recognize myself in this too. I never had problems speaking to a crowd. Funny thing because I remember doing a project with a very extroverted friend/classmate. She was soo nervous that she couldn't speak. I didn't get it. Because she was always so extroverted and very very social. I ended up doing the entire presentation and got a good grade as well.

[Germanicus]

0/23

I answered no to all the signs of being an introvert, for anyone that has scratched the surface of my character will agree that I am an extrovert.

[Kazimiera]

0/23

I answered no to all the signs of being an introvert, for anyone that has scratched the surface of my character will agree that I am an extrovert.

I beg to differ.

14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends.

You say yourself you don't take calls after 10pm. This means that even you appreciate some peace and quiet! (Even if it is after 10pm)

[Germanicus]

I beg to differ.

14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends.

You say yourself you don't take calls after 10pm. This means that even you appreciate some peace and quiet! (Even if it is after 10pm)

I beg to differ my Queen..!!!
In the past I have had no need to screen my calls, being on call for my company I would answer my phone at any hour, night or day.
My wife has put the kibosh on that..she insists that on an evening I give her my time...not other people.

[Neanderthal]

Another thing is that I like being alone while traveling. Wether I am going by bicycle or train/bus. When I was in high school I would always make sure that I was one of the first or last people to leave the school, all to avoid having any company while riding my bicycle. Sometimes I would even choose a different longer road. I just wanted to listen to my MP3 and daydream. Not talk. Though, in the breaks I was always with friends or class mates, sitting alone was not my thing, but going to school and home was my alone moment.

And it's still the same. When I am going somewhere by bus or train I always hope I won't meet anyone I know.

I guess that's also a very introvert thing to do?

Hate this haha, so uncomfortable

[Fear Fiain]

23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert

The Huffington Post | By Carolyn Gregoire Posted: 08/20/2013 8:36 am EDT | Updated: 08/20/2013 5:00 pm EDT



Think you can spot an introvert in a crowd? Think again. Although the stereotypical introvert may be the one at the party who's hanging out alone by the food table fiddling with an iPhone, the "social butterfly" can just as easily have an introverted personality.

"Spotting the introvert can be harder than finding Waldo," Sophia Dembling, author of "The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World," tells The Huffington Post. "A lot of introverts can pass as extroverts."

People are frequently unaware that they’re introverts -– especially if they’re not shy -- because they may not realize that being an introvert is about more than just cultivating time alone. Instead, it can be more instructive to pay attention to whether they're losing or gaining energy from being around others, even if the company of friends gives them pleasure.

“Introversion is a basic temperament, so the social aspect -- which is what people focus on -- is really a small part of being an introvert," Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, psychotherapist and author of "The Introvert Advantage," said in a Mensa discussion. "It affects everything in your life.”

Despite the growing conversation around introversion, it remains a frequently misunderstood personality trait. As recently as 2010, the American Psychiatric Association even considered classifying "introverted personality" as a disorder by listing it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5), a manual used to diagnose mental illness.

But more and more introverts are speaking out about what it really means to be a "quiet" type. Not sure if you're an innie or an outie? See if any of these 23 telltale signs of introversion apply to you.


1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.

yes and?

Introverts are notoriously small talk-phobic, as they find idle chatter to be a source of anxiety, or at least annoyance. For many quiet types, chitchat can feel disingenuous.

“Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people," Laurie Helgoe writes in "Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength." "We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

speak for yourself. I hate people. I hate society. Very rare is the human I see as fully human, most are like animals.

2. You go to parties -– but not to meet people.

If you're an introvert, you may sometimes enjoy going to parties, but chances are, you're not going because you're excited to meet new people. At a party, most introverts would rather spend time with people they already know and feel comfortable around. If you happen to meet a new person that you connect with, great -- but meeting people is rarely the goal.

I love meeting people, it leads to making money. It's hard work but it pays off in opportunities. Yes it tires me out though... and is awkward.

3. You often feel alone in a crowd.



Ever feel like an outsider in the middle of social gatherings and group activities, even with people you know?

"If you tend to find yourself feeling alone in a crowd, you might be an introvert," says Dembling. "We might let friends or activities pick us, rather than extending our own invitations."

yeah.

4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.

Networking (read: small-talk with the end goal of advancing your career) can feel particularly disingenuous for introverts, who crave authenticity in their interactions.

"Networking is stressful if we do it in the ways that are stressful to us," Dembling says, advising introverts to network in small, intimate groups rather than at large mixers.

I do it better on facebook than in person.

5. You've been called "too intense."

Do you have a penchant for philosophical conversations and a love of thought-provoking books and movies? If so, you're a textbook introvert.

"Introverts like to jump into the deep end," says Dembling.

I just always assumed the girls saying that were whores who wanted to be fucked and forgotten, rather than think about things and get to know people. And same for the guys saying it.

6. You're easily distracted.

no I'm not ... brb puppies howling.

While extroverts tend to get bored easily when they don't have enough to do, introverts have the opposite problem -- they get easily distracted and overwhelmed in environments with an excess of stimulation.

"Extroverts are commonly found to be more easily bored than introverts on monotonous tasks, probably because they require and thrive on high levels of stimulation," Clark University researchers wrote in a paper published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. "In contrast, introverts are more easily distracted than extroverts and, hence, prefer relatively unstimulating environments."

you think?

7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.



One of the most fundamental characteristics of introverts is that they need time alone to recharge their batteries. Whereas an extrovert might get bored or antsy spending a day at home alone with tea and a stack of magazines, this sort of down time feels necessary and satisfying to an introvert.

yeah... definitely.

8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.

Introverts can be excellent leaders and public speakers -- and although they're stereotyped as being the shrinking violet, they don't necessarily shy away from the spotlight. Performers like Lady Gaga, Christina Aguilera and Emma Watson all identify as introverts, and an estimated 40 percent of CEOs have introverted personalities. Instead, an introvert might struggle more with meeting and greeting large groups of people on an individual basis.

eh. I'll never get that far in life. so quit sugarcoating the bullshit.

9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.



Whenever possible, introverts tend to avoid being surrounded by people on all sides.

"We're likely to sit in places where we can get away when we're ready to -- easily," says Dembling. "When I go to the theater, I want the aisle seat or the back seat."

doesn't everyone do that?

10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.

Do you start to get tired and unresponsive after you've been out and about for too long? It's likely because you’re trying to conserve energy. Everything introverts do in the outside world causes them to expend energy, after which they'll need to go back and replenish their stores in a quiet environment, says Dembling. Short of a quiet place to go, many introverts will resort to zoning out.

yeah. is this really so odd?

11. You're in a relationship with an extrovert.

It's true that opposites attract, and introverts frequently gravitate towards outgoing extroverts who encourage them to have fun and not take themselves too seriously.

"Introverts are sometimes drawn to extroverts because they like being able to ride their 'fun bubble,'" Dembling says.

I like riding her fun bubble, but I don't think that she's an extrovert...

12. You'd rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.

The dominant brain pathways introverts use is one that allows you to focus and think about things for a while, so they’re geared toward intense study and developing expertise, according to Olsen Laney.

I'm an expert at a lot of things. but I'm also in the 99.99th percentile of human intelligence.

13. You actively avoid any shows that might involve audience participation.

Because really, is anything more terrifying?

yes. homosexual prison rape, is more terrifying. dying alone is more terrifying. this article must have been written for american women, seriously. whiny cunts.

14. You screen all your calls -- even from friends.



You may not pick up your phone even from people you like, but you’ll call them back as soon as you’re mentally prepared and have gathered the energy for the conversation.

"To me, a ringing phone is like having somebody jump out of a closet and go 'BOO!,'" says Dembling. "I do like having a long, nice phone call with a friend -- as long as it's not jumping out of the sky at me."

there's not enough time on the planet to waste it on every asshole.

15. You notice details that others don't.

The upside of being overwhelmed by too much stimuli is that introverts often have a keen eye for detail, noticing things that may escape others around them. Research has found that introverts exhibit increased brain activity when processing visual information, as compared to extroverts.

I think that's why I'm a TA member...

16. You have a constantly running inner monologue.



“Extroverts don’t have the same internal talking as we do,” says Olsen Laney. “Most introverts need to think first and talk later."

it really depends. I'm able to take small talk and be free and open with my speech, when I'm well rested or well caffeinated. It's the gift of gab an all.

17. You have low blood pressure.

A 2006 Japanese study found that introverts tend to have lower blood pressure than their extroverted counterparts.

lulz. I try not to be constantly in a hurry, I take my time and do things right. and I spend time alone, meditating, sipping tea, etc. Or playing with my puppies. Of course I have low stress. I can't function with high stress.

18. You’ve been called an “old soul” -– since your 20s.

Introverts observe and take in a lot of information, and they think before they speak, leading them to appear wise to others.

"Introverts tend to think hard and be analytical," says Dembling. "That can make them seem wise."

FUCKING THIS.HOW DID THEY KNOW THAT ABOUT ME?

19. You don't feel "high" from your surroundings



Neurochemically speaking, things like huge parties just aren’t your thing. Extroverts and introverts differ significantly in how their brains process experiences through "reward" centers.

Researchers demonstrated this phenomenon by giving Ritalin -- the ADHD drug that stimulates dopamine production in the brain -- to introverted and extroverted college students. They found that extroverts were more likely to associate the feeling of euphoria achieved by the rush of dopamine with the environment they were in. Introverts, by contrast, did not connect the feeling of reward to their surroundings. The study "suggests that introverts have a fundamental difference in how strongly they process rewards from their environment, with the brains of introverts weighing internal cues more strongly than external motivational and reward cues," explained LiveScience's Tia Ghose.

parties are boring ...

20. You look at the big picture.

When describing the way that introverts think, Jung explained that they're more interested in ideas and the big picture rather than facts and details. Of course, many introverts excel in detail-oriented tasks -- but they often have a mind for more abstract concepts as well.

"Introverts do really enjoy abstract discussion," says Dembling.

I thought this was a cultural thing related to recent immigration from the british isles... hm.

21. You’ve been told to “come out of your shell.”



Many introverted children come to believe that there's something "wrong" with them if they're naturally less outspoken and assertive than their peers. Introverted adults often say that as children, they were told to come out of their shells or participate more in class.

yeah. I used to have "friends" who would try to "fix" me too. and I'd get in trouble for reading ahead of the class in group reading... not my fault everybody else was stupid.

22. You’re a writer.

Introverts are often better at communicating in writing than in person, and many are drawn to the solitary, creative profession of writing. Most introverts -- like "Harry Potter" author J.K. Rowling -- say that they feel most creatively charged when they have time to be alone with their thoughts.

um. yeah. I'm a writer. So what?

23. You alternate between phases of work and solitude, and periods of social activity.

Introverts can move around their introverted “set point” which determines how they need to balance solitude with social activity. But when they move too much -- possibly by over-exerting themselves with too much socializing and busyness -- they get stressed and need to come back to themselves, according Olsen Laney. This may manifest as going through periods of heightened social activity, and then balancing it out with a period of inwardness and solitude.

"There's a recovery point that seems to be correlated with how much interaction you've done," says Dembling. "We all have our own private cycles."

pretty damn generic ...

[Cern]

[Atlantic Islander]

I'm the same way, my classmates in junior high and high school would call me stuck up, because they misunderstood my attitude.

[Germanicus]

7 ways to become an extrovert.


Stop undervaluing extroversion. You might think being an extrovert is "too much hassle" but it does have its benefits (as does introversion). You don’t have to give up the introvert activities you enjoy. In fact, when you balance them with more social activities, you may find them even more satisfying. After several nights of being around people, you might really look forward to a night by yourself to read, meditate, write, etc.

Enhance your career - By networking, you have more job opportunities available to you, and you're more likely to get a position that gives you the experience and/or package you prefer. Whether we like it or not, there's some truth to the phrase "It's not what you know, it's who you know."
Find your soulmate - If you have had trouble meeting someone who's compatible with you, then expanding your circle of friends is one way to increase the probability of meeting that special someone.
2
Envision the type of extrovert you’d like to emulate. If you find the extroverted people around you shallow and perhaps even annoying, why would you want to be more like them? You wouldn’t. Maybe your vision of an extrovert is an in-your-face salesperson who only wants to build a shallow relationship with you so they could sell you something. But you needn’t choose such a limited vision for yourself — you’re free to form your own vision of a positive way to be more extroverted.
3
Find the right social group for you. Why would you want to spend more time with people you don’t like? If acting more extroverted means spending more time with people you’d rather avoid, you’ll have no motivation to do it. Again, you’re free to form a social group that you’d love to be a part of. Consciously consider the types of people you’d want to have as friends. There’s no rule that says this has to be your peers or co-workers. Don’t be afraid to stretch beyond the most obvious peer group and hang out with people from different ages, neighborhoods, cultures, countries, etc. You might find the variety to be a lot of fun.
4
Develop your social skills. One reason many people shy away from social activities is that they don’t feel comfortable because they don’t know what to do, especially if the unexpected were to occur. Being able to start up a conversation with a stranger AND feel completely comfortable doing it is a learn able skill. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Embrace the fact that you’re out of your element, and don’t compare yourself to others. One approach you might find extremely effective is to ask the other person how s/he got started in his/her current line of work. 80-90% of the time the person will say something like, “Well, that’s an interesting story….” And you might genuinely like hearing these stories. A small amount of practice can go a long way to making the next time you meet someone a bit easier. Approach your social abilities the way a student would approach a class, or an athlete would approach a sport. Do your homework, give yourself assignments, and test yourself until you get it right:

Look approachable
Introduce yourself
Have a great conversation
Flirt
Ask someone out on a date
5
Take your social life offline. Online socializing has its place in your life, but it can be a pale shadow compared to face-to-face communication. Voice and body language can communicate a lot more than text, and emotional bonds can be easier and faster to establish in person. You don’t have to do away with online socializing, but neither must you allow it to crowd out meeting people locally. Instead, see if you can use the Internet as a starting point for real life friendships. Many introverts have no trouble socializing online; in that environment they’re able to play from their strengths. But you can also use your strengths consciously as leverage to branch out into more face-to-face socializing. If you use forums, for example, you could focus on local ones and search for opportunities to meet up offline.
6
Join a club. It’s old advice, but it still works. The advantage is that you’ll find people who share similar interests, which makes it easier to build new relationships. One good club can fill your social calendar. If you join a club and find that it’s not right for you, quit and join something else. You may go through a number of local social groups that just don't resonate with you (too boring, too slow, too disorganized, too many alcoholics). But one good group is all you need.

Join or start a book club. This is a great way to turn a solitary activity into a social one.
Join a band. If you play an instrument or sing, find a group you can harmonize with. Not only will you meet them, but if your band gets really good, people will introduce themselves to you.
Join Mensa. Having trouble finding people who can hold a conversation with you? This might be your ticket to friendship.
7
Think of relationships in terms of what you can give, not in terms of what you can get. If you seek to build new relationships based on mutual giving and receiving, you’ll have no shortage of friends. Identify people with whom you’d like to build a relationship, and start by giving. For instance, geeky knowledge is actually a tremendous strength when it comes to socializing because there are an awful lot of non-geeks who’d like to understand geeky stuff better, and you can explain it to them in ways they’ll understand. Think about it: What can you bring to a relationship that will be of benefit to someone else? When you figure out what that is (and it’s probably many different things), you’ll have an easier time attracting new friends into your life.