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1. This is your inner monologue during after-work drinks.
2. You know that canceling plans is like winning the damn lottery, especially when someone else does it.
3. You’ve mastered the art of turning a day at home, doing nothing, into SOMETHING WONDERFUL.
4. People often ask, “What are you thinking about?” because they haven’t heard you speak in a while.
5. Meeting new people? Please, you already have more than enough friends.
6. If anyone ever throws you a “fun” surprise party, this is your reaction.
7. Seeing this on your Facebook timeline gives you extreme anxiety.
8. You don’t hate parties, it’s just that you don’t LOVE being around a ton of people.
9. And you’re ready to leave shortly after arriving.
10. But, if for some reason you can’t leave, you know that hiding out in the bathroom is an option.
11. You do like to go out…to get your Netflix DVD.
12. You’ve never said this before:
13. But you have most certainly said this:
14. Agreeing to a lot of nights out in a row isn’t fun. AT. ALL.
15. This would be a realistic OkCupid profile summary:
16. You’ve become that person at parties who hangs out with the food bowl, and that’s OK.
17. You know this to be absolutely true.
18. When you’ve been around people for too long, there comes a moment when you realize you need to be alone OR ELSE.
19. Other people are always ruining your carefully thought-out responses.
20. On the weekends, this is your daily battle:
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