At the Party with the Physicists

[Zankapfel]

One day, all of the world's famous physicists decided to get together for a party (there were some non-physicists too who crashed the party).
Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and able to observe some of the guests.

• Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
• Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
• Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
• Cauchy, being the mathematician, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
• Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
• Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
• Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
• Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere's opinions on current events.
• Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
• Volta thought the social had a lot of potential.
• Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
• Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
• Feynman got from the door to the buffet table by taking every possible path (lol).
• The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
• Van der Waals forced himself to mingle.
• Wien radiated a colourful personality.
• Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
• De Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
• Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
• Everyone was attracted to Tesla's magnetic personality.
• Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
• Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
• Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
• Oppenheimer got bombed.
• The microwave started radiating in the background when Penzias and Wilson showed up
• Gamow left the party early with a big bang while Hoyle stayed late in a steady state.
• For Schrödinger this was more a wave function rather than a social function.
• Skorucak wanted to put everybody on his web site.
• Instead of coming through the front door Josephson tunnelled through.
• Niccolò Tartaglia kept stammering throughout the evening.
• John Forbes Nash wanted to play a n-person zero sum game.
• Pavlov brought his dog, which promptly chased after Schrodinger's cat.
• Zeno of Elea came with two friends - Achilles and the tortoise.
• Bertrand Russell kept wondering if the cook only cooks for the guests, who cooks for the cook?
• Witten bought a present all tied up with superstrings
• The food was beautifully laid out by Mendeleyev on the periodic table.
• Riemann hypothesised about who would arrive next, to which Newton retorted 'hypotheses non fingo'.
• Chadwick was handing out neutrons free of charge.
• Everyone was amazed at Bell's inequality.
• Watson and Crick danced the Double Helix.
• While Fermat sang 'Save the Last Theorem for me.'
• Maxwell's demon argued with Dawkin's friend, the selfish Gene.
• Russell and Whitehead insisted on checking the bill for completeness and consistency. Godel said it was incomplete and it can never be proved otherwise.
• Epimenides the Cretan announced that only non-Cretans spoke the truth.
• Rontgen saw through everybody.
• Descartes cogitated, 'I think I am drunk. Therefore I am at the party.'

If you think any of additional party "observances" please post (:

Source: Lee Kottner's blog

[Ulf]

Gödel, Heisenberg, and Chomsky walk into a bar.
Heisenberg says, "Given that the three of us are here together in a bar, this must be a joke. But I cannot tell whether or not it is funny." Gödel replies, "We're inside the joke, so it is impossible for us to tell whether or not it is funny. You'd have to be outside looking in." And Chomsky shakes his head and says, "Of course it's funny, you're just telling it wrong."




Heisenberg was pulled over by a police officer, who asked him, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”The cop sneered and pulled out his nightstick. “You little smartass,” he said, and laid into Heisenberg pitilessly with the stick. “How long will this beating last?” cried the forlorn Heisenberg. “I don’t know,” said the cop, “but I know exactly how much energy I’m expending.”


All I got for now.

[Ulf]