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“Fat” ladies and “handsome” men
By Jonna Wibelius
I’ve been given a countless number of nicknames during my three years in China. “Big nose,” “big bones,” “fatty,” and “tall girl” are probably some of the most memorable ones. Hearing these names probably misleads you into thinking that I am quite a big lady, but truth be told, I’m not. I happen to be 175 cm tall and weigh around 60 kilos. Unfortunately for me, those numbers are way higher/heavier than the average Chinese woman's.
And while I’ve been receiving gibes and hints about the fact that I might want to “lose” some of my “excess baggage,” my boyfriend (who’s also Scandinavian) has become the King of the City. He’s 185 cm tall, blonde, blue-eyed and fairly fit. Back home, no one would look twice at him (he’s simply too ordinary looking); but in China, he’s a “10-pointer.” The men like him because he looks fit and handsome and the women love his height and his exotic features.
My boyfriend and I are no special exceptions in China. Most western couples experience the same things we do. Western ladies in China are often told that they look “fat and big” while the men are treated like gods. It doesn’t matter if the man isn’t fit, he’s still considered attractive, not to mention most-wanted, on the meat market.
During my early days in China, I had a big problem with accepting all of this. I found all the staring and whispering annoying and I hated when the shop assistants in clothing stores handled me clothes in the sizes L or XL. Every time I reached for my normal size (Medium), they would shake their heads or look at me with disbelief.
When I eventually learned Chinese and started to understand what people were actually saying about me, it got even worse.
“Look at that foreign girl, what a big bum she has!” I once overheard a shop assistant tell another while I was standing outside the changing room, inspecting myself in the mirror. I quickly escaped back into the changing room and promised myself to never, ever use a public mirror in a clothing store again.
When I complained to my boyfriend I received little or no compassion. “Is it really that bad? Are you sure you’re not exaggerating? In my opinion all people here are so nice and encouraging,” he said.
Easy for him to say. Once, the two of us went to a large shop. I ended up spending five minutes walking around looking for a shop assistant before I finally found them all gathered around my boyfriend and taking turns complimenting him.
“Oh, your biceps are so big!” one male shop assistant said.
“Can I feel them?” a second one asked.
“What a handsome man,” an older woman said.
“Excuse me, can I get some help?” I asked, an inquiry that didn’t raise any enthusiasm among my boyfriend's new fans.
“Sure,” one of the assistants reluctantly offered. “What can I do for you?”
“Your head is getting so big that I’m scared it’s going to blow up soon,” I later told my boyfriend.
It’s been some years now and fortunately for all of us, my boyfriend’s head is still intact. He’s actually gotten a bit fed up with all the attention he gets, or at least that’s what he tells me. I, on the other hand, have learned to laugh at the comments I receive. It’s not uncommon amongst Chinese people to comment on each other’s looks, weight and height.
The comments are actually meant to show that you care for the other person. Having learned that, I nowadays sometimes feel flattered when I realize that strangers are talking about me. Just think about it: In Sweden, I’m completely anonymous; meanwhile in China, I am looked at everywhere I go. Also, contrary to what I first believed, not all comments are negative.
To be “big nose” in China is considered something good. Many Chinese have expressed their dissatisfaction regarding their own, sometimes a bit flat, nose. To have a “big bum” isn’t necessarily a bad thing either. Many Chinese girls wish they had more curves. And as for being “tall girl?” Well, that one I’m actually happy with. I could never be bothered to walk around in 5-inch heels everyday like every second Chinese woman does in order to look taller.
http://gbtimes.com/travel/blogs/fat-...d-handsome-men
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