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I am announcing my candidacy for the President of the United States.
I don't agree with any of the main candidates on anything so I felt it had to be done.
I hope you will decide to pencil my name in at the voting booth rather than voting for a clown like Trump or Hillary or Gary Johnson.
PLATFORM:
My platform follows three guiding principles:
RESPONSIBILITY.
TOUGHNESS.
OPEN-MINDEDNESS.
First of all, I will be a responsible President. Unlike Hillary Clinton or Trump who never take the blame for anything.
Secondly, I will be tough. Even tougher than Trump wants to be. He will seem like a wimp compared to me. You want toughness? Vote for Vilhelmina.
Lastly, open-mindedness. This is something both top candidates lack. Hillary Clinton can only believe what the corporatist puppet-masters want her to, and Trump is set in his ways. We need someone who will listen to every voice in this country, before making a tough decision. I am that person.
Immigration: Economy-based Immigration Policy. We will bring in who we need, and keep out those we don't. How? By introducing severe punishment for people caught immigrating illegally or without a visa. This is much more effective than building a multi-billion dollar border wall that El Chapo will just tunnel under.
Civil Rights: I believe strongly in Civil Rights, unlike Donald Trump I will not be appointing backwards social-conservative judges to the Supreme Court, I will make sure that all human rights are respected..the United States will be a safehaven for LGBTs, Women and people of all colors.
War/Foreign Policy: We need to be tough, but we also need to be cautious. As president, I will pledge to defend our allies, including Israel. However, if I am in charge, we will NOT be engaging in any nation-building. It is proven that this approach does not work. I will try to strengthen ties with Russia, as I realize this needs to happen. I will also tear to shreds the horrible, horrible Iran nuclear deal. We will get tough with Iran again. No more appeasement. No more Neville Chamberlain-style foreign policy. With regards to ISIS, we will continue air strikes.
Environment: I will be a Green President. Contrary to popular belief, this will actually strengthen our Economy. I am the Environmental choice.
Economy: Both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump would be horrible for the Economy. Our welfare system is too costly. I will cut taxes and implement the NIT. Donald Trump wants to build a border wall that will cost billions upon billions upon BILLIONS of dollars and will probably be largely ineffective. I have a much better, far less costly plan to deal with Illegal Immigration. I am the Economic choice.
Law and Order: Donald Trump claims to be the Law and Order candidate - but there is only one true Law and Order candidate - and that's me. I will get tough on illegal immigrants, rather than building a very costly and largely ineffective wall, I will incentivize legal immigration by having severe punishment for immigrating illegally. Sanctuary cities will be a thing of the past. We will be strong again in this area. We have to get tough with all of our criminals, not just illegal immigrants. We need mandatory sentencing for homicides as well as capital punishment in times where there is un-deniable evidence of the accused committing horrendous acts. I am the true Law and Order candidate. I will also proudly continue the War on Drugs. We must not let our nation fall into degeneracy.
2nd Amendment Rights: I will defend the 2nd Amendment. Under my leadership, we will have COMMON-SENSE Gun Laws. The mentally ill and former convicts should not be able to have Guns. Ultimately, I will protect law-abiding citizens' Gun Rights - particularly conceal and carry. I will enact a federal stand-your-ground law, as well.
Trade: Our current trade agreements are killing tons and tons of jobs here in America. This is unacceptable. I will bring those jobs back, that I pledge to you. We will end disastrous Trade Agreements. If we do have Trade, we have to ensure that it benefits our American workers. If it does not benefit them, then it must be scrapped. I am looking out for the workers - I am your voice.
Military: Obama has gutted our Military. It's time to make our Military strong again.
Veterans: There is nothing that deserves more respect than putting your life on the line for the freedoms of others. As President, I will ensure that all our veterans have access to the best care in the country - we will truly incentivize service in our Armed Forces. We will make it worth it to put your life on the line for your country - I want to treat veterans like Kings and Queens once they come home.
Religious Liberty: I will defend Religious Liberty. If a Church does not want to host a same-sex marriage ceremony, they should not have to. Similarly, if you don't want to bake a cake for a same-sex couple, you shouldn't have to.
Abortion: I will defend the right of a woman to have an Abortion.
Education: Get rid of teachers unions. Make teachers accountable again by introducing performance-based pay.
Voting: I will introduce a law that says only land-owners can vote.
Vaccines: We must vaccinate for deadly contagious diseases.
Did I leave anything out?
Keep in mind, all of my positions are adjustable. As I said before, I am open-minded. I will listen to the voices of the people.
If you want to vote for me, and you are a Trump supporter and you don't want to hurt Trump, simply find a disgruntled Democrat that would take Hillary over Trump but also wants to vote for me, and vice versa.
Official campaign slogan: Make America Really Great™
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