'Many girls' abused by boyfriends

**Loki** · 09-01-2009, 10:10 AM

'Many girls' abused by boyfriends

A third of teenage girls suffer sexual abuse in a relationship and a quarter experience violence at the hands of their boyfriends, a survey suggests.

Nearly 90% of 1,400 girls aged 13 to 17 had been in intimate relationships, the NSPCC and University of Bristol found.

Of these, one in six said they had been pressured into sexual intercourse and one in 16 said they had been raped.

The government is developing guidance for schools on gender bullying but says it is "vital" parents advise children.

One in three of the teenage girls questioned said their boyfriends had tried to pressure them into unwanted sexual activity by using physical force or by bullying them.

The NSPCC said the unwanted sexual activity ranged from kissing to intercourse.

A quarter of the girls interviewed for the survey had suffered physical violence, including being slapped, punched or beaten.

Only one in 17 boys reported having been pressured or forced into sexual activity but almost one in five had suffered physical violence in a relationship.

Professor David Berridge, from the University of Bristol, described the findings as "appalling".

"It was shocking to find that exploitation and violence in relationships starts so young," he said.

"This is a serious issue that must be given higher priority by policymakers and professionals."

Diane Sutton, head of NSPCC policy and public affairs, said: "Boys and girls are under immense peer pressure to behave in certain ways and this can lead to disrespectful and violent relationships, with girls often bearing the brunt.

"Parents and schools can perform a vital role in teaching them about loving and safe relationships, and what to do if they are suffering from violence or abuse."

The report recommends child protection professionals consider the cases of girls who are in relationships with older boyfriends, with three-quarters in this category saying they had been victims of abuse.

'Feeling scared'

Many girls said they put up with abuse because they felt scared, guilty or feared they would lose their boyfriend.

One told researchers: "I only went out with him for a week. And then, because I didn't want to have sex, he just started picking on me and hitting me."

A spokesman for the Department for Children, Schools and Families said personal, social, health and economic studies - including relationship education - would become statutory for children of all ages by September 2011.

"Parents have a vital role to play in providing information and advice on sex and relationships," he said.

"They should lead on instilling values in their children, but schools have a clear role in giving young people accurate information and developing the skills they need to make safe and responsible choices."

**Tabiti** · 09-01-2009, 10:32 AM

And who thinks feminism, gender equality and woman rights are a 100% real fact in Western societies?
In fact many of the teen girls don't feel ready for sex, but do it not to lose their boyfriends. They should teach them not only how to use a condom, but how to choose partners and say "No!".

**lei.talk** · 09-01-2009, 12:49 PM

**Rainraven** · 09-01-2009, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by Loki

Of these, one in six said they had been pressured into sexual intercourse and one in 16 said they had been raped.

This doesn't surprise me at all. I still get it now from men that should know better. Playing games with your head, guilt tripping you with lines like "I thought you wanted to be with me...", "If you really cared for me...". All teenagers need to learn the self worth to have the strength to walk away from this sort of relationship. It's so easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be wanted. Parents need to teach their children from a young age to respect themselves, to realise how wonderful they are and that they deserve respect from others. A teenagers own worst enemy is themselves and a low self esteem can lead to any number of troubles.

**Lutiferre** · 09-01-2009, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by Rainraven

This doesn't surprise me at all. I still get it now from men that should know better. Playing games with your head, guilt tripping you with lines like "I thought you wanted to be with me...", "If you really cared for me...". All teenagers need to learn the self worth to have the strength to walk away from this sort of relationship. It's so easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be wanted. Parents need to teach their children from a young age to respect themselves, to realise how wonderful they are and that they deserve respect from others. A teenagers own worst enemy is themselves and a low self esteem can lead to any number of troubles.

It's probably also a matter of the social and cultural pressure, which convinces people that they must have lots of premarital sex, or something is wrong with them.

**~~Frigga~~** · 09-01-2009, 03:48 PM

Sexual abuse is a cycle really. A lot of times victims will gravitate towards someone who resembles their abuser in character. This is because when you're young and being exploited, you're being given attention, even if it is the wrong attention. You are then brainwashed into thinking that you need that type of attention in order to be truly loved, even though it is poison. So you grow up with this tainted form of thought about what love really is, and what kind of sacrifices need to be made on your part in order to be with someone. It's tragic really.

**asulf** · 09-01-2009, 04:18 PM

Father of two girls, I have always been close to them protects and watches over them in the same way that I've always been aware "four eyes" of the suitors of my girls ..... I confess ... For their inspiration from the tie, while keeping the forms and customs of politeness.
They have always been convaicus that if a problem occurs I will be there !
well believe me my girls never regretted L and even if they are adults aujourdhuis dad eve far ...
Way to show unconditional love of your children, protect and return the aurre

**Fortis in Arduis** · 09-03-2009, 11:59 PM

In reality the girlfriend is not a 'friend'. This is a deceptive misnomer.

She is nothing but a parasitic emotional car-wreck, who wants to pussy-whip you once a month for several consecutive days, drain you physically, emotionally, spiritually (destroy your relationship with your higher self), financially and take you away from your talents, abilities and compassionate loving nature and draw you towards your base emotions and instincts, all for some stupid power trip because she cannot get over something totally retarded from her sorry childhood.

The bitch needs a slap, but you had better not do it...!!!

Leave and thereby frustrate her and hopefully, starved of attention, she will pick on a really nasty guy, just to

A. piss you off since you dumped her.

B. to get the reaction she wants and needs... the physical abuse to validate her (very boring) low self-esteem and pick at the sore from her childhood which never healed.

and

C. she just hates men anyway - because she is a B.I.T.C.H.

If she is not a friend, then she cannot be a girlfriend.