Forgive and Forget?

[Eldritch]

Do you believe in this?

If so, is it hard?

Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Etc. Please discuss.

[Wölfin]

Do you believe in this?
Forgive, but NEVER forget. That is what I try to go by.


If so, is it hard?
It can be.


Do you ever want to extract revenge?
Most of the time I want to. Rarely will I go through though but it depends on the person and the offense.


Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?
It can be, but once again it depends on the offense and the person.


Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?
I don't demand to know, as I usually can tell.


Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?
Sometimes, but usually unless it was a serious offense, I will forget it by the time I have an occasion :P


Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?
Same gender.


Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?
No.



Etc. Please discuss.

As I said I truly believe one should be able to forgive but never forget. However in very serious cases, I don't think even forgiveness is necessary, but there has to be a peace inside one's soul and mind in regards to the person. Like a very serious falling out with a friend, you can discuss things over although you may not forgive them. The important thing in this case is to be clear that you no longer want to be close to them but that if you meet them you remain civil/polite.

I don't know if my thoughts were conveyed clearly.

[Liffrea]

Me and my brother had an argument about politics, religion etc a few days ago, it got heated, I raised my voice (something I rarely do and I regretted but he’s a reasonably smart man and I get annoyed that he can be so bigoted and naive) and that was that. I’m reasonably slow to anger, very quick to come out of it, ten minutes later I had forgotten about it, he’s still sulking, I think he is wary because we usually get on fine (this is our first argument), now he knows I’m not the little boy he used to baby sit for (I’m 28 he’s 46).

Forgiveness? Depends on the sleight really, I’m not one for revenge or bearing a grudge against people, I can’t be bothered and I have better things to do with my time. If I have a problem with someone, or they have a problem with me, I like to deal with it there and then, saves time later on.

[Bari]

Do you believe in this?

- Depends.


If so, is it hard?

- Sometimes, sometimes not.


Do you ever want to extract revenge?

- Yes.


Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

- Mostly no. In some cases theres not a chanse of forgiving.


Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

- No, if it seems like they really mean it i forgive(and is forgivable offence). I never ask people if they mean it.


Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

- No, i never make amend with someone if i can't forgive it.


Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

- If its a female, perhaps. But depends on how serious the offence is.


Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

- No.

[Frigga]

Do you believe in this?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no, it really depends on what was done to me, and if it was unwarranted or not.


If so, is it hard?

Yes it is, I'm not very good at it.


Do you ever want to extract revenge?

What do you mean want? :dev If the situation calls for it, I will, and have. ;)


Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

It depends on the person, and what they've done to me. Personal example from my own life, my father molested me and endangered the life of my brother dozens of times driving home blind drunk, and was basically a drunk asshole to everyone in my family. I cannot and will not ever forgive him, no matter how many times he's asked as to what it was that he did wrong, and asked me to let him back in my life. I'm sorry. I'm holding this hatred of him till the day I die.

Now my sister in law has done things toward me, mainly trying to be controlling and tell me how to run my life, including forgiving my real father. I had held a bit of a grudge against her for that, but I am able to forgive her, she's only doing it out of a misguided sense of love.


Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

With my father? If I cared enough to even talk with him, I would demand to know if it was genuine. I would also not accept anything else than a publicly written apology.


Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

Hm, I'm too stubborn in my ways to be able to do that.


Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

I do have to say that reconciling with other women is easier than reconciling with men.


Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Yes, see above.

[Allenson]

Foregivness, sure...but it certainly can be hard to forget, thoroughly & completely. Particularly so if one is purely innocent and the wrong-doing is conspiratorial in manner.

Yes, I've had urges of revenge in the past, though I've never acted upon this in a violent way--slitting a throat crossed my mind. ;)

In the past, there have been a few times that I have felt deeply wronged and that I was very much in the 'right' (which is rare, beacause to use the cliche, there are always two or more sides to a story, happening, situation, etc.). Neither did I sit quiet and ignore matters, nor did I resort to physical aggression--but instead, I made my points known, verbally, argued my case and pointed out the unwarranted wrong-doings. For me, this is a good comprimise. I have enough self-pride to not just let things slide, so to say but have enough contraint to keep myself in check and not let my rage get the better of me. :cool:

[Svarog]

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

I am always ready to forgive people, but in my honest opinion asking for forgiveness is selfish and usually meant just to make yourself feel better. So, I prefer people not to ask me to forgive them but let me come to them and do that, if I feel worth the effort, yes, I'll forgive and that's the only time it is honest

I have dishonestly 'forgave' things to people when asked, I never forgot tho, it means I was not ready to do that, but at least, they'll knew I am not waiting around the corner with a butcher cleave for them.


Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

That's exactly what I meant, I did not really think I am gonna mess you up or planned any retributions and shit, but I did not really forget or felt as we're good, which makes situation tense and not very pleasant for either parties. Happened dozens of times, mostly with ex-gfs and friends that slept with them lol


Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Ah, I am not sure it is really relevant. For me, it is easier to talk to girls - but after all - that's just talk, most times it ends the same, awkward handshake with a male friend might mean more than an hours long and heartbreaking conversation with a female one. Words - ha.


Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Thanks Gods, no, never. I had many many many tense moments with my dad, numerous verbal fights and even some fist fights but that's how it should be, we'd make up fast, or ignore it which is not all that good, but nothing that lead to any really serious issues that cannot be fixed - fathers and sons fight, they always did - that does not mean they don't love each other ;)


Foregivness, sure...but it certainly can be hard to forget, thoroughly & completely.

I am with you on this one, Forgiveness is something I have control over, forgetfulness no - even sometimes i wanted to really truly forget - i could have not, it was stronger than me and I had no power over it.

I have never had my revenge for anything, did think about it, maybe planned but never executed.

[anonymaus]

I do not consider honest mistakes and unfortunate but uncontrollable events to require forgiveness in the first place; purposeful misdeeds? I may forgive to the degree of not burning myself out with bitterness or seething, but it is the perpetrator's problem otherwise. I do not waste my time and energy on revenge.

I've never failed to accept an apology, or a thank you, or words of praise--nor have I questioned their sincerity. This is basic courteousness. It is much more useful to me to know someone is deceitful than to have an argument about it.

It is also the case that I consider accepting their forgiveness to be the new operating parameter until they betray it. Whether or not I want to destroy them as a person, I would not break that understanding unwarranted.

Men and women are easier or more difficult in different ways. It's not uniform but not drastically easier in either direction.

[Anthropos]

I pray everyday.


THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MATTHEW. Chapter 6.

9.
After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11.
Give us this day our daily bread.
12.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
14.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15.
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Therefore (see quote), it is also very important that you mean what you pray. This point was brought up in a sermon some time ago, and it had a profound effect on my life.

[Black Turlogh]

It's my nature to be generally very lighthearted. It takes a great deal of effort to seriously offend me. If I've been wronged in any way I haven't the slightest reservation about telling the wrongdoer that there's no hard feelings. It's worked in my favour over the years. When you are forgiving of other people they tend to be highly forgiving of you as well.

[Trog]

I don't believe you can really forgive unless you forget. The inability to let go seems to indicate that even in the deepest recess of the mind, or heart, some negative feelings have been retained. Whether they be bad memories etc, it's still there somewhere.

[Octothorpe]

Forgive--if it benefits you, particularly in public. Forget? Never! Exact revenge whenever possible. Petty against the powerful, crushing against the weak. And family members make particularly rich targets, as you know exactly what trips their triggers! :dev

[Grey]

Do you believe in this?

No unless the issue isn't worth making a big deal out of or if the person involved is too young/mentally incapable.



Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Yes, and I usually do.



Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

If they admit their mistake it's forgivable, though they owe me for the favor.



Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

If I don't believe them, I just ignore their pleas.



Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

Yes.



Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Probably both.



Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Yes, with most of my family.

[Germanicus]

Being a Libran i see the both sides in an argument, i try to mediate, and will always try to find the middle path. For me i will always take the quiet path through life, i do not like shouting, or swearing.
People have said of me "i am too laid back"
But do not take this for a weakness, for i can be a very bad boy when it comes to someone really upsetting me, for the need for revenge is paramount.
However long it takes i can be brutal, i take no prisoners..this i have to say is a very bad trait, usually i forgive and forget..:(

[Svipdag]

I cannot recall that anyone has EVER asked me to forgive him/her. If someone did, I would be so astonished that I suppose that I would forgive the person.

Before forgiving a person proactively, I would want to see evidence of genuine contrition on that person's part. Inasmuch as I never have, I hold grudges.

I don't seek revenge, but anyone who has wronged me becomes a "non-person" in my world. I never speak to that person again or in any way acknowledge his/her existence.

I will not apologise unless I am convinced that I am in the wrong. Often, my wrongs were unintentional, but, if I realise that I offended or hurt a person, unintentionally, I will sincerely apologise.

If my sincere apology is rejected, the recipient joins the ranks of the non-persons.

[Barreldriver]

Do you believe in this?

No





Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Yes


Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

Yes


Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

Yes


Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

No, because I rarely make amends, on the rare occasion of forgiveness I uphold my end of the bargain, but I never forget. I forgive occasionally and remember almost every wrong done to me.


Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?
Neither, I have difficulty reconciling with anyone regardless of gender.

[Absinthe]

Without people asking me to, I always do so. It seems to be in my nature, I am unable to hold a grudge for too long. Not that it's good for me though :....

[jerney]

Do you believe in this?

Sometimes

If so, is it hard?

Yes

Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Rarely

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

Depends on the circumstance

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?


I don't need to demand, I have a canny ability to read people and very good intuition

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

No, I'm honest and upfront with people. If I don't like you you will be very aware of this.

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Never thought about it. I think their relationship status means more than their gender.

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Why I certaintly have.

[Brynhild]

Do you believe in this? I forgive, but I refuse to forget. That would put me in the position of condoning the other person for their actions.

If so, is it hard? Doubly hard if you have behaved the same way yourself towards others.

Do you ever want to extract revenge? Depending on the nature of the crime, I actually have. I would rather call it dispensing justice.

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness? Read answer two. I will expand on this by adding that I must draw the line if they continue to behave in the same manner towards me. Eventually, I've walked away from people who thought it was quite all right to treat me like a doormat who has an abundance of forgiveness.

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine? No, I would rather take a person for their word and judge them accordingly.

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"? No. If I felt that way in the first place, I would not be forgiving them.

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one? Interesting question. My mother abandoned my family when I was three weeks shy of eight years old. As a result, I harboured a deep distrust towards women. I'd been more kindly disposed towards men, but that has been my downfall at times also. As I've gotten older, I've become more accepting of women in my life. I'd like to believe that forgiveness has balanced itself out.

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed? Nearly 10 years after my father has passed, I've seen my family members through a completely different pair of eyes. Let's just say the less I see of them the better.

[Amarantine]

Do you believe in this?

Yes, I do.

If so, is it hard?

Yes, it is, very hard.

Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Yes, unfortunatelly.

Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

No, when someone ask you to forgive him or her, that means your heart and soul is already ready to forgive.

Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

Yes, unfortunatelly, but the other person is not aware of that. Usually I tortured myself with a lot of suspicions.

Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

Yes, and I am ashamed of that.

Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

Neither one.

Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Yes, I had.

Etc. Please discuss.

Your questions were very good and no need to discuss further,except if you want something to ask me.

[Vulpix]

Do you believe in this?

If so, is it hard?

I forgive rather easily but I don't forget.


Do you ever want to extract revenge?

Seldom.


Do you find it hard to forgive people, even after they asked for forgiveness?

Not really.


Do you ever demand to know if their pleas of forgiveness are actually honest and genuine?

No, I can read people well enough not to need to.


Have you ever made amends with a person who's insulted you in the past, but still thought to yourself, "I'm going to slit your throat at the earliest opportunity"?

No.


Is it easier for you to reconcile with persons of the same gender, or the opposite one?

No difference.


Have you ever had a serious fall-out with a family member, one that it would not seem possible to be fixed?

Serious fall-out yes, a completely impossible one to amend no. Family is family.

[Lulletje Rozewater]

Watch your thoughts,they become words.
Watch your words,they become actions.
Watch your actions,they become habits.
Watch your habits,they become your character.
Watch your character,it becomes your destiny.
Watch your destiny,it will neither forgive nor forget.

[Amarantine]

Watch your thoughts,they become words.
Watch your words,they become actions.
Watch your actions,they become habits.
Watch your habits,they become your character.
Watch your character,it becomes your destiny.
Watch your destiny,it will neither forgive nor forget.

Perfect words.

[Loki]

No

Yes

Yes

Yes

No, because I rarely make amends, on the rare occasion of forgiveness I uphold my end of the bargain, but I never forget. I forgive occasionally and remember almost every wrong done to me.

Neither, I have difficulty reconciling with anyone regardless of gender.

Without an attitude of at least some form of forgiveness, you won't get anywhere in life. Eventually, you will hate everybody and live the latter part of your life as a lonely, bitter old man.