Should I be concerned about my brother's promiscuity? Should I tell my mother?

[Sikeliot]

He is 16, and I know some of you will say he just "makes this stuff up" to look cool. But I have seen the texts he sends back and forth to girls his age, he has shown them to me and has told me some horror stories about the things he has done.

He told me that he regularly gets drunk with his friends, meets up with girls, and they have unprotected sex. I am concerned about this. The times that protection is used, he says that he will use more than one condom, which is something that anyone should know NOT to do, because the friction can cause them to tear.

He has a new girlfriend now, and I am concerned. I do not trust that he makes smart enough decisions to not end up with a teen pregnancy.

The question is, should I tell my mother? I don't want to betray his trust, but at the same time, if he did get a girl pregnant, my mother has no say over whether or not the baby is carried to term since it would not be her daughter.

[Tacitus]

Tell him how concerned you are one-on-one, go over all the risks and tell him to slow it down a bit. He's more likely to listen to his older brother than to his mother.

[Sikeliot]

Tell him how concerned you are one-on-one, go over all the risks and tell him to slow it down a bit. He's more likely to listen to his older brother than to his mother.

I did try, and what ended up happening is that my mother found out because she stumbled across his phone where he had received texts from girls and from his friends that were concerning to her; she told him he was not allowed to see certain friends, but I know from Facebook that he goes behind her back. I have not told her though, of course.

[Porpolita]

Tell your mom.

Your brother should be able to have sex/drink moderately, but if you feel he is not doing it responsibly then your mom definitely has the right to know what dangers her son is getting into.

[Gustave H]

Responsible Niko says tell your mother, the other Niko says give him a high five. Do whatever feels right. :coffee:

[Mars06]

If he gets someone pregnant, it'll hurt the entire family.

[Sikeliot]

If he gets someone pregnant, it'll hurt the entire family.

It will hurt my ability to attend law school actually. I will be able to, for the most part, support myself during that time but my mother says she wants a lawyer in the family and will help me if I fall through the cracks financially. If she had to help pay for another child, she would not be able to help me and I couldn't go to law school.

[Tacitus]

I did try, and what ended up happening is that my mother found out because she stumbled across his phone where he had received texts from girls and from his friends that were concerning to her; she told him he was not allowed to see certain friends, but I know from Facebook that he goes behind her back. I have not told her though, of course.

You talked to him in person or by texting?

[Sikeliot]

You talked to him in person or by texting?

In person. I hope he does use protection.

The thing is, I do not know if these girls are on birth control. If they are, then there is nothing to worry about. But the thing is, my brother generally makes poor decisions if he does not have an adult directly standing over him making sure he falls in line, which means that his promiscuity is without bounds.

[Loki]

No, don't tell your mom. Let him do what he wants. It is his life and it sounds like he's having a lot of fun.

[Incinerador]

Promiscuity is bad. Send him to church.

[safinator]

Just tell him to use a condom or to get the girl on the pill and the problem will be solved.

[Dictator]

Let him ruin your life. When I was 14 I already knew all risks involved with such acts.

[Ars Moriendi]

Tell your mother. He is clearly too stupid and selfish to care about the consequences that his actions will have over his own life, as well as the life of his family (your studies).
When a person simply can't think clearly, sometimes the only right thing to do is to intervene; even if it's not something you'd enjoy doing.

[Merida]

My advice is don't tell your mom. Your brother will feel betrayed and will stop trusting you. It's better for you to be aware of what he does so you can help him if you feel like you have to.

A friend of mine had a similar situation with her younger brother, and what worked for her was showing him shocking videos or pictures of what could happen if had unprotected sex, so as to raise awareness in him.

Birth control pills prevent a pregnancy, but are not a replacement for condoms due to STDs.

[Vasconcelos]

Just tell him to use a condom or to get the girl on the pill and the problem will be solved.

This.

I think that, if he gains awareness of the pregnancy danger, all will be fine. Other than that, just let him have his fun with the girls, it's good for him.

[Brzęczyszczykiewiczówna]

I'm just a bit older from him, so I can say from experience of my mates :p I hope this behavior will gone and he will act like normal teenager. If not you will become uncle soon. If not kid, I am sure he will try drugs, and It will be a big problem. So I'd advise -Say your mother if he is intelligent, he will understand. :)

[Brzęczyszczykiewiczówna]

Promiscuity is bad. Send him to church.

And this.

[Sikeliot]

I'm just a bit older from him, so I can say from experience of my mates :p I hope this behavior will gone and he will act like normal teenager. If not you will become uncle soon.

He goes for blue eyes and blonde, so if I do, the kid will not look Mediterranean let alone East Med. :lol:

[Brzęczyszczykiewiczówna]

He goes for blue eyes and blonde, so if I do, the kid will not look Mediterranean let alone East Med. :lol:

The kid will look Med even with blonde mother :P

[Sikeliot]

The kid will look Med even with blonde mother :P

My brother doesn't look very Med though. He's more like what we call "Paleoatlantid".

[Blackfyre]

It will hurt my ability to attend law school actually. I will be able to, for the most part, support myself during that time but my mother says she wants a lawyer in the family and will help me if I fall through the cracks financially. If she had to help pay for another child, she would not be able to help me and I couldn't go to law school.

Well, even if he would get a girl pregnant, her family has to take care of the child too, actually, maybe even a bit more (I am guessing tho abortion is not an option, eh?)

Either way, do not tell your mother, but sit him down and give him a speech like a true mentor. Tell him and show him the horrors of STDs or the horror of having to wake up at 03:00 to change a used diaper. If all that fails, tell your mom

[Brzęczyszczykiewiczówna]

My brother doesn't look very Med though. He's more like what we call "Paleoatlantid".

Polish genes?

[Sikeliot]

Polish genes?

He looks more like my Portuguese side.

[Proctor]

Don't let him fuck up your chance at getting through law school. I would talk to him in person with a stern tone, that way he would actually listen and not take the warning lightly. I wouldn't go as far as telling your mother though, that should be done as a last resort.

[Incal]

Don't be a snitch, let him lead his own life and commit his own mistakes.

Like the maestro Tarkovski would say on min 2.05: "We must live our own experience, we can't inherit it".


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V27XlEDLdtE

[Linebacker]

Don't say anything to him.He has taken the path of winning.Its going to get him a lot of confidence and he will do anything with little effort.

He might just be like Me when he gets my age.

[Loki]

He goes for blue eyes and blonde, so if I do, the kid will not look Mediterranean let alone East Med. :lol:

Polluting the Northern Race girls. Tell your mom immediately.

[Graham]

Just sounds like a typical daft teenager to me. Why would he listen to the parents too? What's the point in people telling you this. Teenagers don't listen to their elders at that age.

[Aviator]

No man is an island.

[Bloodsport]

I would have a personal chat to him first and explain how serious this is, try to make him see the full circumstances by showing him people you know who've had their life changed by unexpected pregnancy. And serious, explain to him STD's are no joke.

If he doesn't change, maybe you have to tell your mother.