Is marriage better for men than for women?

[Seraph of the End]

I came across this question in one of my Sociology classes.

So what is it about? In 1972 the eminent sociologist Jessie Bernard suggested in her famous book ‘The Future of Marriage’ that men fare much better in marriage than women. She claimed that every marriage can be separated into his marriage and hers marriage and that “his marriage”, more often than not, is better than “hers” in all aspects (demographically, socially and psychologically).

Basically, this is what she found out in her research:

Married men:
1. in most cases they are satisfied with their marriage (and happier with it than their wives)
2. they live longer than unmarried men
3. they are healthier than unmarried men and have higher reported levels of mental wellbeing
4. their careers tend to go upwards after marriage, and they are more likely to be employed if they are married than if they are single
5. their social status and reputation improve after marriage


Married women:
1. more women report negative feelings about their marriage and consider divorce
2. their lives are shorter than the lives of unmarried women
3. they are prone to depression and anxiety, thus have much poorer mental and emotional health compared to their husbands and unmarried women
4. their careers tend to stagnate/end after marriage
5. they are less educated than unmarried women
6. their social status is lower than the status of unmarried women

Also, in some other researches it was discovered that among the divorced, men are more apt to suffer from emotional loneliness than women. The researchers found men felt it more important to “have a partner than do women.”

Some other (newer) researches had been done after this one and they had different results. Their main argument was that women today have more rights than the women from 70s and that they ‘suffer’ less in their marriages. They also said that this problem is more complex, and cannot be explained one-sidedly.

Some links that talk about this issue: http://lifecourse.anu.edu.au/publications/Discussion_papers/NLCDP012.pdf
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/vicki-larson/his-hers-marriage_b_3129269.html
http://jama.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=193378

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What do you think about this? Is the situation different today? Do you agree with mentioned results or do you think they’re not reality-based? What is your personal opinion on the marriage?

[Anthropos]

Judging by the title of the work by that sociologist it's not really science, but some kind of opinion piece trying to predict the future.

[jatt]

if your other half is good then marriage is good otherwise it is hell

[Darth Revan]

It's worth noting that Jessie Bernard herself was a notorious feminist scholar and her books and articles, will always display some degree of bias.

However, I do think there is something that can be factually true about this proposal.

The advantages of marriage for men are for the most part social and familiar, extended links to another family, reputation as a 'matured' man, and someone to cooperate with domestic matters so he may focus in other affairs. The passing of the name through offspring becomes a plus as well, depending on the societal arrangements of course.

The advantanges of marriage for women exist as well, namely in the form of protection, probably having someone else procure money for sustenance, as well as some reputation as well (spinsters are usually seen badly by a lot of societies). But, should the woman be gifted with a good intellect or ambitious spirit, she may experience much more frustration and dissapointment dealing with domestic chores rather than being allowed to pursue more challenging goals.


It's worth checking the methodology. I feel as if the results are simply too starkly different (Hardly any minuses for men, hardly any pluses for women), for them to not have interiorized Bernard's ideological attitude.

[Unome]

Speaking for myself and contemporary US culture, there is no reason whatsoever for an adult man to get married. It's only negatives.

Marriage used to matter for men in the bygone, more conservative era, when young girls saved their virginity and refused to have sex until marriage. Now that liberal sexual culture and attitudes are prevalent, women give it up for free, no marriage required for sex anymore. So men no longer have that incentive, and it shows.

Single-mothers are rampant. Instead of having husbands, they just leech off of Social Security/Welfare, The State, for all amenities.

[SkyBurn]

That reminds me of the statistic that girls fare better at single-sex schools, while men fare better at co-ed schools.

[Cody Gearhart]

Well i read somewhere back in the day in the United States that as a man if you weren't married and/or had kids, you weren't important or considered a man in society.

[N1019]

Sociial and economic changes associated with women mean marriage for men in the West offers less and less, while carrying considerable risk if things don't work out. Certainly not something to rush into if you want to avoid being taken to the cleaners.

[Óttar]

Women don't give a fuck about us. :coffee:

[grizzlyclaw]

its not better for men but in general its better for both men and women because if u marry u have someone to share your life with and to start a family