Hrolf Kraki
06-04-2010, 12:55 PM
I started a project for my Translation class last semester that I planned on continuing. I've taken this (http://heimskringla.no/wiki/Havi-Maal) Danish translation of the Havamal and translated it from the Danish into English, attempting to keep some sort of end rhyme. Of the 164 verses, I've completed 25. However a couple of verses, namely 2 and 4, I don't much like. Give me your thoughts on my translation and if you have any suggestions, especially for 2 and 4, I'm all ears! If anyone fixes 2 or 4 to my liking, I'll credit you whenever I get it published. (Might be a while though since I've still got 139 more stanzas to go!)
My translation:
1. When you wish to advance
First should you scout
Each and every entrance
And all ways out
For it not be known
Where enemies sit inside the home.
2. Hail to the hosts!
A guest has come in
Where will he be seated?
Haste has he
Who wagers his welfare
Outside upon firewood.
3. Fire is in need
Of the man coming in,
Freezing cold to the knee.
Food and clothing
That man seeks
Who’s ventured over snow-capped peaks.
4. He who comes to a mess
Has need for water,
A hand towel and politeness,
A well-minded manner,
And if it can be won,
Good words that need no answer.
5. He needs intelligence who travels wide;
For at home anything will slide.
The useless man who comes to sit with the wise
Receives but stares from sarcastic eyes.
6. No one should boast of intelligence,
But rather listen in silence.
He who comes quiet and thoughtful to a farm
Rarely exposes himself to any harm.
For a man’s best means of defense
Is a good store of common sense.
7. The cautious guest arrives for food,
Soft-spoken in a taciturn mood.
By listening with ears and seeing with eyes
Self-informed become the wise.
8. That man has fantastic fortune
Who’s praised for respectable reputation.
For trouble will always loom
When what’s dear to one is another’s temptation.
9. That man has fantastic fortune
Who possesses worldly wisdom and wit.
For men often afford bad advice
To advance their own benefit.
10. A better burden can no man bear
Than common sense while on the road;
Even the poor man has his share.
In an unknown place it surpasses gold.
11. A better burden can no man bear
Than common sense while on the trail.
No worse way can a man fare
Than to be too drunk on ale.
12. It’s not as good as one might believe,
Ale, for the sons of men.
The more he drinks the less he’ll perceive
Men’s tendency to sin.
13. The fowl of forgetfulness is fed through fermentation.
It steals men’s minds.
I was bound by this bird under intoxication
At Gunnlåd’s gård in olden times.
14. Drunk, excessively drunk I became
In wise Fjalar’s great hall.
The best ale-drinking is when once again
Your mind clears and begins to recall.
15. Silent, thoughtful and daring
Should of every prince be said.
All men are cheerful and merry
Until they rest upon death’s bed.
16. The foolish fellow fancies he’ll live forever
If far from fighting he stays.
But even if he’s spared the spear
Old age will come to end his days.
17. The fool gapes and stares at a feast.
He sits silent or talks stupidly.
But a single sip and he’s released
His ignorance for all to see.
18. Only he who’s wandered wide
And traveled in every direction
Knows each man’s darker side
He who has keen perception.
19. Man with the mug, be moderate with the mead.
Speak suitably or don’t make a sound.
No one will think ill of you
to go to bed after first round.
20. A glutton who never gets enough
Eventually eats himself to death.
The fool amongst the wise, his stomach stuffed,
Is mocked by them once he’s left.
21. The cows know when they should go home
And then they leave the pasture.
But the foolish man doesn’t know
That his belly grows ever faster.
22. The haughty and gloating grumbler
Likes to taunt and ridicule everyone.
If he knew what he should, he’d be humbler.
Of faults, he possesses a ton.
23. The foolish man is awake at night,
Worrying the hours away.
He’s still anxious at dawn’s light,
Tired out, his troubles to stay.
24. The foolish man thinks he’s everyone’s friend
Who laughs merrily along with him.
He doesn’t seem to comprehend
That he’s mocked amongst the wise men.
25. The foolish man thinks he’s everyone’s friend
Who with him shares a laugh.
But he finds upon coming to the Assembly
He has few to speak on his behalf.
My translation:
1. When you wish to advance
First should you scout
Each and every entrance
And all ways out
For it not be known
Where enemies sit inside the home.
2. Hail to the hosts!
A guest has come in
Where will he be seated?
Haste has he
Who wagers his welfare
Outside upon firewood.
3. Fire is in need
Of the man coming in,
Freezing cold to the knee.
Food and clothing
That man seeks
Who’s ventured over snow-capped peaks.
4. He who comes to a mess
Has need for water,
A hand towel and politeness,
A well-minded manner,
And if it can be won,
Good words that need no answer.
5. He needs intelligence who travels wide;
For at home anything will slide.
The useless man who comes to sit with the wise
Receives but stares from sarcastic eyes.
6. No one should boast of intelligence,
But rather listen in silence.
He who comes quiet and thoughtful to a farm
Rarely exposes himself to any harm.
For a man’s best means of defense
Is a good store of common sense.
7. The cautious guest arrives for food,
Soft-spoken in a taciturn mood.
By listening with ears and seeing with eyes
Self-informed become the wise.
8. That man has fantastic fortune
Who’s praised for respectable reputation.
For trouble will always loom
When what’s dear to one is another’s temptation.
9. That man has fantastic fortune
Who possesses worldly wisdom and wit.
For men often afford bad advice
To advance their own benefit.
10. A better burden can no man bear
Than common sense while on the road;
Even the poor man has his share.
In an unknown place it surpasses gold.
11. A better burden can no man bear
Than common sense while on the trail.
No worse way can a man fare
Than to be too drunk on ale.
12. It’s not as good as one might believe,
Ale, for the sons of men.
The more he drinks the less he’ll perceive
Men’s tendency to sin.
13. The fowl of forgetfulness is fed through fermentation.
It steals men’s minds.
I was bound by this bird under intoxication
At Gunnlåd’s gård in olden times.
14. Drunk, excessively drunk I became
In wise Fjalar’s great hall.
The best ale-drinking is when once again
Your mind clears and begins to recall.
15. Silent, thoughtful and daring
Should of every prince be said.
All men are cheerful and merry
Until they rest upon death’s bed.
16. The foolish fellow fancies he’ll live forever
If far from fighting he stays.
But even if he’s spared the spear
Old age will come to end his days.
17. The fool gapes and stares at a feast.
He sits silent or talks stupidly.
But a single sip and he’s released
His ignorance for all to see.
18. Only he who’s wandered wide
And traveled in every direction
Knows each man’s darker side
He who has keen perception.
19. Man with the mug, be moderate with the mead.
Speak suitably or don’t make a sound.
No one will think ill of you
to go to bed after first round.
20. A glutton who never gets enough
Eventually eats himself to death.
The fool amongst the wise, his stomach stuffed,
Is mocked by them once he’s left.
21. The cows know when they should go home
And then they leave the pasture.
But the foolish man doesn’t know
That his belly grows ever faster.
22. The haughty and gloating grumbler
Likes to taunt and ridicule everyone.
If he knew what he should, he’d be humbler.
Of faults, he possesses a ton.
23. The foolish man is awake at night,
Worrying the hours away.
He’s still anxious at dawn’s light,
Tired out, his troubles to stay.
24. The foolish man thinks he’s everyone’s friend
Who laughs merrily along with him.
He doesn’t seem to comprehend
That he’s mocked amongst the wise men.
25. The foolish man thinks he’s everyone’s friend
Who with him shares a laugh.
But he finds upon coming to the Assembly
He has few to speak on his behalf.