How to teach respect to a man/husband/boyfriend

[Velda]

I have read this in a feminist's book: If you want a man to respect you (concerning relationships)

- Treat yourself as a queen, you will attract a king
- Behave like a special edition highly recommended but rare thing, so that the man will be happy to share time with you
- Let sex be something special, use it as a reward
- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy, a white board for the projections of your man's ideas about the perfect woman
- Give him the possibility to fight for you, don't be something like selfevident

My elder sister did all this, now she has 3 kids, and things have changed. She tried to do the "treat myself like queen" thing, but it does not work any more.
Everything is vice versa now, and she asked my advice yesterday, because of that he said she was some an albatross around his neck.

My advice: "Put on some make-up, go our with friends, make him jealous. Don't act, as if you were a trained dog or his mother."
She said: "I have to do babysitting in the evening."

I'd ask you guys how to train some guy, who is married for 10 years. To show her some respect. Just calling him "idiot" does not work, because he owns the house, money and whatever furniture. Divorce? She said, she first wanted to try other things.

Suggestions?

[Aviator]

I'd ask you guys how to train some guy, who is married for 10 years. To show her some respect. Just calling him "idiot" does not work, because he owns the house, money and whatever furniture. Divorce? She said, she first wanted to try other things.

Suggestions?

You can't. By the time a man is old enough to be called a husband or serious boyfriend, he will either already have respect, or he won't. People grow up, but after that, they don't change.

[Methmatician]

What is the book called?

[Hadouken]

stop reading feminists books please

[Fear Fiain]

I have read this in a feminist's book: If you want a man to respect you (concerning relationships)

- Treat yourself as a queen, you will attract a king
- Behave like a special edition highly recommended but rare thing, so that the man will be happy to share time with you
- Let sex be something special, use it as a reward
- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy, a white board for the projections of your man's ideas about the perfect woman
- Give him the possibility to fight for you, don't be something like selfevident

My elder sister did all this, now she has 3 kids, and things have changed. She tried to do the "treat myself like queen" thing, but it does not work any more.
Everything is vice versa now, and she asked my advice yesterday, because of that he said she was some an albatross around his neck.

My advice: "Put on some make-up, go our with friends, make him jealous. Don't act, as if you were a trained dog or his mother."
She said: "I have to do babysitting in the evening."

I'd ask you guys how to train some guy, who is married for 10 years. To show her some respect. Just calling him "idiot" does not work, because he owns the house, money and whatever furniture. Divorce? She said, she first wanted to try other things.

Suggestions?

total sexual submission.

[Harley]

I have read this in a feminist's book: If you want a man to respect you (concerning relationships)

- Treat yourself as a queen, you will attract a king
- Behave like a special edition highly recommended but rare thing, so that the man will be happy to share time with you
- Let sex be something special, use it as a reward
- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy, a white board for the projections of your man's ideas about the perfect woman
- Give him the possibility to fight for you, don't be something like selfevident

My elder sister did all this, now she has 3 kids, and things have changed. She tried to do the "treat myself like queen" thing, but it does not work any more.
Everything is vice versa now, and she asked my advice yesterday, because of that he said she was some an albatross around his neck.

My advice: "Put on some make-up, go our with friends, make him jealous. Don't act, as if you were a trained dog or his mother."
She said: "I have to do babysitting in the evening."

I'd ask you guys how to train some guy, who is married for 10 years. To show her some respect. Just calling him "idiot" does not work, because he owns the house, money and whatever furniture. Divorce? She said, she first wanted to try other things.

Suggestions?

If the guy is an idiot, he won't understand why he is called an idiot. That is unfortunately the world we live in, where idiots will ride your back, push you to your limits, think they are number one, and only take, take, take without there being mutual understanding or appreciation.

Each individual's universe begans and ends with self. Until she truly respects herself, she will always find a blockage to understanding how to truly assert one's ground.

It's not about training, but to create an environment in which they are comfortable sharing with each other.

What does she want from him specifically? Is there anything he wants her to do that she hasn't considered?

Without observing the couple, it's difficult to see where they are going and what they are motivated by. If it turns out their end goals are not the same, they will have to come to terms as to what is acceptable in their relationship and work on respect as a foundation from there.

[Wadaad]

The ole' "taken for granted" dilemma.

I dont think she has the upper hand in ANYTHING...it is all about whether she is willing to put up with it or not. And if she chooses 'or not'...what will be the consequences, will she be able to provide for herself and her 3 kids?

[Also]

You can't teach someone respect, you can only teach them fear.

[dude]

She already messed up by listening to feminists. It is probably too late. Feminism is not about respect, is about dominance. In her case she found a dominant male and feminism failed. Next time go for self-respect and same expectation before jumping into a relationship thinking she can "train" a man as if he was a dog or animal.

[Velda]

What is the book called?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Men-Marry-Bitches-Getting/dp/0715337688

Probably very cheap to get on Ebay - used but in good condition. ;-)

[Herr Abubu]

LOL.

[Herr Abubu]

The only way she will gain the respect of her husband is to not act like a bitch and start acting like women traditionally did. Acting submissively and lady-like is the only way.

[Oneeye]

Power plays? It's supposed to be an intimate relationship, not a hockey game.

Women will always lose such a game, especially in the long run.

[LightHouse89]

Someone earns respect. You cant teach respect you earn it.

[robar]

I have read this in a feminist's book: If you want a man to respect you (concerning relationships)

- Treat yourself as a queen, you will attract a king
- Behave like a special edition highly recommended but rare thing, so that the man will be happy to share time with you
- Let sex be something special, use it as a reward
- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy, a white board for the projections of your man's ideas about the perfect woman
- Give him the possibility to fight for you, don't be something like selfevident

My elder sister did all this, now she has 3 kids, and things have changed. She tried to do the "treat myself like queen" thing, but it does not work any more.
Everything is vice versa now, and she asked my advice yesterday, because of that he said she was some an albatross around his neck.

My advice: "Put on some make-up, go our with friends, make him jealous. Don't act, as if you were a trained dog or his mother."
She said: "I have to do babysitting in the evening."

I'd ask you guys how to train some guy, who is married for 10 years. To show her some respect. Just calling him "idiot" does not work, because he owns the house, money and whatever furniture. Divorce? She said, she first wanted to try other things.

Suggestions?
Hard question, :)
Cane

[Longbowman]

Treating yourself like a Queen doesn't sound like something that would attract a King. Using sex as a reward, and other forms of positive conditioning, generally won't work on a grown person. Also they'll resent it, because we like to think you want sex too, not that it's some kind of chore for you that we have to earn. They should both try and do selfless things for each other. Be nice to people and they'll be nice to you usually works. But Velda, why are you putting this on TA? The majority of people - except MetalAphrodite - are incels or otherwise not in relationships. What would they know? Nothing of value. Advise your sister to see a professional couples therapist.

[Oneeye]

Treating yourself like a Queen doesn't sound like something that would attract a King. Using sex as a reward, and other forms of positive conditioning, generally won't work on a grown person. Also they'll resent it, because we like to think you want sex too, not that it's some kind of chore for you that we have to earn. They should both try and do selfless things for each other. Be nice to people and they'll be nice to you usually works. But Velda, why are you putting this on TA? The majority of people - except MetalAphrodite - are incels or otherwise not in relationships. What would they know? Nothing of value. Advise your sister to see a professional couples therapist.



"Treating yourself like a queen" is a funny way of saying to show confidence, I think.

[Herr Abubu]

"Treating yourself like a queen" is a funny way of saying to show confidence, I think.

More like acting like an entitled, narcissistic bitch and pretending that it is not a flaw of character.

The OP is really great, though. Without knowing it, the OP has admitted why, in many instances, relationships break apart.

Here, the modern queen in all her splendor:

https://kinglythoughts.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/black-woman-attitude.jpeg?w=300&h=246

[dude]

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Men-Marry-Bitches-Getting/dp/0715337688

Probably very cheap to get on Ebay - used but in good condition. ;-)
The answer is men marry bitches because they are good looking and he is infatuated. Once the infatuation wears out people see the real person. At this point is a joint effort from both parties to communicate and compromise. There is no place for selfishness or dominance in a relationship and keeping it happy. Failing to do that will result in resentment, infidelity, possibly divorce and in extreme cases murder.

[Longbowman]

"Treating yourself like a queen" is a funny way of saying to show confidence, I think.

Oh, then disregard that part, but it's very, very poorly phrased.

[Oneeye]

Oh, then disregard that part, but it's very, very poorly phrased.

Many feminists use melodramatic language.

[Graham]

Don't act like royalty. You'll look like a Prima Donna.

[dude]

Many feminists use melodramatic language.
Because that's one of the basis of feminism. Over dramatize issues and victimize themselves in order to pull one over on dominance.

[RandoBloom]

I have read this in a feminist's book: If you want a man to respect you (concerning relationships)

- Treat yourself as a queen, you will attract a king
- Behave like a special edition highly recommended but rare thing, so that the man will be happy to share time with you
- Let sex be something special, use it as a reward
- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy, a white board for the projections of your man's ideas about the perfect woman
- Give him the possibility to fight for you, don't be something like selfevident

My elder sister did all this, now she has 3 kids, and things have changed. She tried to do the "treat myself like queen" thing, but it does not work any more.
Everything is vice versa now, and she asked my advice yesterday, because of that he said she was some an albatross around his neck.

My advice: "Put on some make-up, go our with friends, make him jealous. Don't act, as if you were a trained dog or his mother."
She said: "I have to do babysitting in the evening."

I'd ask you guys how to train some guy, who is married for 10 years. To show her some respect. Just calling him "idiot" does not work, because he owns the house, money and whatever furniture. Divorce? She said, she first wanted to try other things.

Suggestions?
Man needs to change, but a woman after 3 kids needs to keep doing the same thing she did before? Hit her in the throat

[Longbowman]

Many feminists use melodramatic language.

I went through the respondents; you, Dude, and Metal, that's it, everyone else should simply not be commenting.

[Hithaeglir]

She can't "teach" him respect.
Respect is something you earn with your virtues as a person.Maybe she should start working and stop counting on him financially.

[TheBlondeSalad]

"Treat yourself as a queen, you will attract a king".

Aka to seriously consider what it means to act like a dignified lady with a full sense of what is appropriate behaviour and what is not. If you don't trash yourself acting like an attention-starved slut willing to do nearly anything for attention and affection but quietly go about your life educating yourself, having nice manners, being a confident and independent woman and having respect for yourself....you are going to stand a better chance of being considered the perfect candidate for life-partner, wife, and mother of the children of an equally nice man.

It has nothing to do with sense of entitlement or spoiled behaviour. It's empowerment to espouse self-respect.

[LightHouse89]

She can't "teach" him respect.
Respect is something you earn with your virtues as a person.Maybe she should start working and stop counting on him financially.

passion is always right. :)

[LightHouse89]

The only way she will gain the respect of her husband is to not act like a bitch and start acting like women traditionally did. Acting submissively and lady-like is the only way.

Amen.

[щрбл]

You don't teach respect to an old man. Getting a divorce seems like an obvious solution to me.

[LightHouse89]

You don't teach respect to an old man. Getting a divorce seems like an obvious solution to me.

The lizard is wise.

[Harley]

My parents have the traditional man works wife stays at home wth children approach. They've stuck together through all kinds of problems, but the sole difference between my parents' relationship and my marriage was that my dad is a workhorse and always upheld his side of the bargain by working, overcoming maybe about two decades of alcoholism, many marriage problems, and other things. My mom has taken care of six children into adulthood. My ex wanted this type of relationship, but it could not be done because I am more self motivated and able to keep a job. In some marriages, it's okay for a woman to work, come home to cook and clean, and whatever. It was fine by me until it was realized that it was affecting my child's mental and emotional health to maintain a relationship in which man abused his side of the bargain by also hitting me.

There is the phrase "you can't have your cake and eat it too." I believe you can have your cake and have time to eat it if you're not a complete bitch.

A real queen isn't about trying to get her own way all the time. Apply what a queen chess piece means in terms of power in the household. She can move unfettered to any side of the board as she chooses. She should know what's going on in her household at all times. Without a proper king, there is no game.

If anything, I believe the lady in the OP should decide what it is she wants and what she offers to the relationship. I've had more men attracted to me when I was with children(even as a teenager with my siblings), fully pregnant and showing, than not. A woman can proudly wear her mantle as mother and retain every bit of her queenly power. Being a true queen is recognizing the true alpha traits of what it means to be a woman and to be in control of self.

Being a housewife should not induce shame, nor should she feel trapped and disrespected. A stay at home parent is not an easy job, especially taking care of young children and insuring that they have good growth and backbone during their formative years. Not everyone can handle young children.

I agree with Passion that if she feels that she needs some independence, maybe she should seek some means of outside income, whether some kind of online job or some other means. I used to sell portraits and make small crafts part time in my late teens early adulthood, earning decent wage to pay small bills, this being while I went to school, took care of my younger siblings, and working a full time job as an adult. It paid small bills, but it was money that I earned by myself and it felt great. It gave me confidence in my abilities and skills. Maybe your sister needs confidence in her abilities and skills to succeed at something. She doesn't need anyone's approval to know her worth nor a charade of showing off. Let's get to know the person inside and figure out what she wants to improve life, beginning with her own circumstances.

What would your sister like to do particularly that she believes she should try to get her partner's respect? What is he doing that she believes she is not receiving proper respect?

[Harley]

You don't teach respect to an old man. Getting a divorce seems like an obvious solution to me.


The lizard is wise.
There are a lot of people who don't believe in divorce. I think divorce should be the only option after all other options are ruled out and sufficient attempts have been made to recover the relationship.

It doesn't sound like the relationship is unsalvageable, but that they need to figure what direction their relationship is going to take and if they want to do something to alter that direction.

[Foxy]

She can pass to the next stage: the ice-queen---> find a lover, leave the kids to husband, escape with the lover abroad or simply in an other city.

I know that many women did this after years of marriage and the husbands returned to lick their feet.

[Harley]

She can pass to the next stage: the ice-queen---> find a lover, leave the kids to husband, escape with the lover abroad or simply in an other city.

I know that many women did this after years of marriage and the husbands returned to lick their feet.

Sad, but I know someone who did this too.

I don't recommend it for the health of the children and husband.

... just sad.

[Era]

There's no such thing as submissive and ladylike. If you want submissive get a slave . One doesn't have to be submissive to be respectful and decent.

[LightHouse89]

She can pass to the next stage: the ice-queen---> find a lover, leave the kids to husband, escape with the lover abroad or simply in an other city.

I know that many women did this after years of marriage and the husbands returned to lick their feet.

Why shouldnt the husband leave her with the kids?

If a woman did that to me she would lose all rights to her children. :cool:

[LightHouse89]

There's no such thing as submissive and ladylike. If you want submissive get a slave . One doesn't have to be submissive to be respectful and decent.

Well I think it would be nice if women were the way they were before the 1920s.

[Era]

Well I think it would be nice if women were the way they were before the 1920s.

There are plenty of nice women out there. More than guys even. I can see it on the subway more often than not they'll let you sit if you're aiming for the same seat. More so then men . Pigs. lol

[LightHouse89]

There are plenty of nice women out there. More than guys even. I can see it on the subway more often than not they'll let you sit if you're aiming for the same seat. More so then men . Pigs. lol

I find this disturbing. I am a gentleman I would offer my seat if a woman had to sit :cool: Men who are gentlemen usually dont get noticed by the ladies. So thats why alot of guys are rebellious about being traditional.

It might depend on where you come from. In the country its different than the city thats all I know. I have lived in both places.

[Era]

fighting generalization with generalization

:)

[щрбл]

There are a lot of people who don't believe in divorce. I think divorce should be the only options after all other options are ruled out and sufficient attempts have been made to recover the relationship.

All the other options? She has absolutely no moral duty to put up with someone who doesn't respect her. Besides, nowadays children are exposed to murder and pornography so early that they are certainly mature enough in their head to understand the concept of "dad is a dickhead".


The lizard is wise.
Marriage is a social construct. Man's role is to fornicate as much as he can. xD

[Era]

I find this disturbing. I am a gentleman I would offer my seat if a woman had to sit :cool: Men who are gentlemen usually dont get noticed by the ladies. So thats why alot of guys are rebellious about being traditional.

It might depend on where you come from. In the country its different than the city thats all I know. I have lived in both places.

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of guys who do, some don't even sit even if there's empty places or will get up for you ( which women dont and shouldnt do) but it does get me upset when they are not chivalrous.

[LightHouse89]

All the other options? She has absolutely no moral duty to put up with someone who doesn't respect her. Besides, nowadays children are exposed to murder and pornography so early that they are certainly mature enough in their head to understand the concept of "dad is a dickhead".


Marriage is a social construct. Man's role is to fornicate as much as he can. xD

I swear this social construct crap is enough to drive anyone insane. But yes marriage is a social construct. Fuck I cant escape the social constructs!

[LightHouse89]

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of guys who do, some don't even sit even if there's empty places or will get up for you ( which women dont and shouldnt do) but it does get me upset when they are not chivalrous.

:cool: leave the city. the city is for plebians. the country is where you will find what you need.

[Era]

:cool: leave the city. the city is for plebians. the country is where you will find what you need.

In the future :)

[Wadaad]

I find this disturbing. I am a gentleman I would offer my seat if a woman had to sit :cool: Men who are gentlemen usually dont get noticed by the ladies. So thats why alot of guys are rebellious about being traditional.

It might depend on where you come from. In the country its different than the city thats all I know. I have lived in both places.

a gentleman who would beat his girl in public for talking to other guys :lol:

[Skerdilaid]

She can pass to the next stage: the ice-queen---> find a lover, leave the kids to husband, escape with the lover abroad or simply in an other city.

I know that many women did this after years of marriage and the husbands returned to lick their feet.

Are you sure these women you speak of were married to men? I would say they will most likely end up with broken ribs, rather then get their feet licked, in most cases.

[LightHouse89]

a gentleman who would beat his girl in public for talking to other guys :lol:

slap for flirting with other men. the girl I slapped was getting a guys number. she was a hyprocrit because she slapped me once for simply talking to a woman I knew from school.

treat me with respect and I return the favor. that's the way it is. I find it funny in the western world if a woman slaps a man its okay but if a man slaps a woman it isnst? mind you this is when women or a man do something wrong like cheating or doing things behind someone's back. I just feel a slap is the way to show your disapproval of certain behavior.

these things can be avoided and I do better now avoiding them by not dating women that would give me reason to slap them in the first place. ;)

[Harley]

All the other options? She has absolutely no moral duty to put up with someone who doesn't respect her. Besides, nowadays children are exposed to murder and pornography so early that they are certainly mature enough in their head to understand the concept of "dad is a dickhead".


Marriage is a social construct. Man's role is to fornicate as much as he can. xD
It depends on how one defines respect and what boundaries are crossed.

If he's hitting her and/or mentally/emotionally abusing her, she should leave.

I think it's important for couples to try and work on problems rather than run away from them. There is no such thing as a free lunch; likewise, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage/relationship.

[Harley]

slap for flirting with other men. the girl I slapped was getting a guys number. she was a hyprocrit because she slapped me once for simply talking to a woman I knew from school.

treat me with respect and I return the favor. that's the way it is. I find it funny in the western world if a woman slaps a man its okay but if a man slaps a woman it isnst? mind you this is when women or a man do something wrong like cheating or doing things behind someone's back. I just feel a slap is the way to show your disapproval of certain behavior.

these things can be avoided and I do better now avoiding them by not dating women that would give me reason to slap them in the first place. ;)
I think hitting other adults is kind of rough.

If she's hitting you for simply talking to someone you know and also trying to get a guy's number, that's just blatantly disrespectful and short sighted. She's a kid in a woman's body. Not wife material, in my opinion.

[dude]

slap for flirting with other men. the girl I slapped was getting a guys number. she was a hyprocrit because she slapped me once for simply talking to a woman I knew from school.

treat me with respect and I return the favor. that's the way it is. I find it funny in the western world if a woman slaps a man its okay but if a man slaps a woman it isnst? mind you this is when women or a man do something wrong like cheating or doing things behind someone's back. I just feel a slap is the way to show your disapproval of certain behavior.

these things can be avoided and I do better now avoiding them by not dating women that would give me reason to slap them in the first place. ;)
Wow!
Your girl takes other guys number in front of you? whatta cuck. The only worse thing would that the other guy was a Rican, probably with a bigger penis, lol.

[LightHouse89]

I think hitting other adults is kind of rough.

If she's hitting you for simply talking to someone you know and also trying to get a guy's number, that's just blatantly disrespectful and short sighted. She's a kid in a woman's body. Not wife material, in my opinion.

I agree. Which is why I not only did that but left her there with her new boyfriend.

I don go to places that draw those types of people. Seems to be a city thing. Or more common there. She was actually the only woman I ever did that too. I don't feel bad about it. She was a bitch anyway. After I left her there though I got a lot of angry messages on my phone. I just deleted them. :cool:

[Also]

I think hitting other adults is kind of rough.

If she's hitting you for simply talking to someone you know and also trying to get a guy's number, that's just blatantly disrespectful and short sighted. She's a kid in a woman's body. Not wife material, in my opinion.

In Jimeh's place I'd punch the bitch for slapping me for talking to a highschool friend.

[LightHouse89]

Wow!
Your girl takes other guys number in front of you? whatta cuck. The only worse thing would that the other guy was a Rican, probably with a bigger penis, lol.

No I went to the bathroom to piss from drinking alcohol all night. I come back and there she is talking to other guys 'she knows'. I said yeah I know too good bye.

The funny part was leaving her there and me not giving a shit. Im that type of a guy :cool: fuck me over and I fuck you back ten times harder.

[LightHouse89]

In Jimeh's place I'd punch the bitch for slapping me for talking to a highschool friend.

A full on punch seems too excessive. Even if a woman punched me I wouldn't go that far. I reserve the punch for the white knight who thinks he is a savior. I laugh at 'heroes'. I have had my run ins with those types of faggots or social justice warriors. One crack to the nose and they fall to the floor crying.

[Also]

One crack to the nose and they fall to the floor crying.

:lol::lol:

I know the type.

[dude]

More like acting like an entitled, narcissistic bitch and pretending that it is not a flaw of character.

The OP is really great, though. Without knowing it, the OP has admitted why, in many instances, relationships break apart.

Here, the modern queen in all her splendor:

https://kinglythoughts.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/black-woman-attitude.jpeg?w=300&h=246
Admit it! That's your dream queen.

[LightHouse89]

Admit it! That's your dream queen.

I watched a fat black woman like that slap the shit out of a dude down town. It was a spectacle worth seeing.

[LightHouse89]

:lol::lol:

I know the type.

Usually the college middle class type. I wreck them too LOL.

[dude]

I watched a fat black woman like that slap the shit out of a dude down town. It was a spectacle worth seeing.
Very respectable.
NOT!

[Han Cholo]

She can pass to the next stage: the ice-queen---> find a lover, leave the kids to husband, escape with the lover abroad or simply in an other city.

I know that many women did this after years of marriage and the husbands returned to lick their feet.

Very responsible girl. Such a great example to follow. Who cares about the children if you can cheat your husband to emotionally blackmail him in order to get some full pounding and adventures as if you were a teenager.

[LightHouse89]

Very respectable.
NOT!

I don't care. It didn't involve me. :)

[Jarla87]

Sorry, I haven`t read the whole thread. But first: Women, feminists are not your friends. They are whiny little foolish whatever. My mom is a 2nd Generation Feminist, I read the books, Everything feminism does for you is to tell you you are a victim of a oppressive male culture and all feminism does generally is to nag and to whine. If feminism wasn`t hypocritical it would be a movement for women appreciating female traits and empowering women in their natural role. There's nothing wrong about solidarity amongst women.
In it's roots feminism was just a captialist tactic to divide loans, bring women into workforce and so have more taxpayers. Women were stupid enough to believe having a Job would bring them Independence and selfliberation. By stiring up women against men it did not only destroy families but also shook gender identities. At the same time feminism paint women the Picture of being Independent, successful and therefore desireable for men -> sexual Liberation.

Women, one word from me as a woman: Your place is the home and when you get married you will not have a career you will have children. And washing the dishes, tidy up and raising your children will be your joy. You know why most women are dissatisfied with that? Because they were told that they are only worth something if they act like a man. And they are always in a struggle to measure up with men. And I tell you a secret: You will never be able to measure up with a man, because men and women are fundamentally different. And you can not Train a man like a dog.

Before you marry choose wisely. You will only get the amount of respect as you give to others and if you are acting like a bossy, whiny, manipulating harlot you deserve to have an "Idiot" as a husband.
The other thing is: Most women want to be "soooo in love" when they marry. Everything has to be soooo romantic and perfect. I saw some marriages where the future husband was only a mute.
I personally think the best form of marriage is a mixture between love & reason. I will love the Person I marry but it does not necessarily mean I marry the Person I "love".

As Long as a man is not a whimp, vegannazi, feminazi or whoremonger there is no reason for me to Show him not respect.
However, I love men, I appreciate what they did for womenhood the past thousands of years and what they are still doing. Just let men be men and empower them to be men.

Have a nice evening :-)

- for your personal Information:
No, I do not vote.
No, I would never intend to have an abortion.
I am working as a teacher but as soon as I am married my career will be over.
I do love housewoork and I do love children.

[Velda]

What would your sister like to do particularly that she believes she should try to get her partner's respect? What is he doing that she believes she is not receiving proper respect?

Crying on my shoulder she said: "When we weren't married, he treated me with respect, even though I was arrogant, selfish and a bitch." I know this from my own marriage: When you have several kids, the man no longer seems to think "hot woman" but "the mother of my kids". I think, she wants to be respected for that: For the 24/7 job she does including housework plus having sex with the man as a duty.
What is he doing, so that she thinks, she does not reiceives the proper respect? (Same with my husband, but not as severe as in her relationship): He takes housework for granted. He says nothing, when he likes a meal, but if he dislikes it, he starts bitching like: "You ruined that poor vegetable, I wish you left it raw, but you cooked it all until it got muddy and slobbery. Btw. it is too many salt and less pepper on it, etc.pp. This really smells like it has already been eaten and thrown up, and it looks like that, too."
What's he doing/not doing? Embrace her, if she feels sad, I guess. If she is sad, she is talking to me. (Same with my man, too. If I want a hug, it usually ends with sex ;-)
He is dominant in any way, doesn't give her money to buy food, he buys that himself, so she sometimes has to eat things, she does not like.
Btw.: Little money, she has of her own, because she sells things now and then. He also bitches about her doing things or buying things he dislikes. (Women's stuff...)

I see that in my own marriage as well concerning some tendencies. That's why I am a bit nervous, that things like that might happen in my marriage, too. (I always remembered my sister as a very good looking, selfsecure woman. She did sports professionally, when she was younger, and her husband was jealous then, because of other men, who noticed her being very attractive.
Now, that she has her "for granted", it's no longer like that.)

I hope, no one is offended, when I write some words in German, too, as Jarla87 is a German like me. I won't backbite, I promise. :-)
@Jarla87

Als ich gelesen habe, was Du sonst so schreibst, dachte ich als erstes, dass Du aus deutschen Foren wahrscheinlich herausgeworfen worden bist. ;-) Das soll kein Vorwurf sein, sondern eine ganz neutrale Feststellung. (Ich bin selbst aus einem Forum 3 Mal rausgeworfen worden, weil ich pro Pegida geschrieben habe).
Dein Profil entspricht nicht so ganz dem, was auf deutschen Servern akzeptiert wird, (ich möchte das böse Wort "Nazi" eigentlich nicht in den Mund nehmen. ;-), aber meine Meinung ist halt: " Jeder soll so glücklich werden, dass er keinen anderen bei seinem Glück stört." Hier schreibe ich deshalb ganz gerne, weil man so viele unterschiedliche Meinungen und Leute kennenlernt, und es klappt trotzdem so prima. Ich mag die entspannte Atmosphäre hier, und man bekommt mehr Gedankenanstöße hier als sonstwo.
Nun aber zu Deinem Posting:
Es hört sich erst einmal ganz gut an. Dann denke ich, dass selbst wenn man es so macht wie Du, ein Mann sich vielleicht heimlich trotzdem nach ein bissl etwas Nicht-mütterlichem (auch wenn man eine tolle Mutter und Hausfrau ist) sehnt und anfängt, nach anderen Frauen zu schielen.
Möglicherweise schielt er auch nach anderen Frauen, die eben die klassischen Schlampen sind, die in meinem Feministenbuch beschrieben waren, und denen die Männer ja angeblich so gerne die Welt zu Füßen legen.
Also wäre da die Trennung zwischen Hure und Heiliger, die Männer machen.

I'll write the last thing in English, too. I am sure, some men divide women into "bitches" and "mother of my kids", and it is impossible to be both in one person.
Which means, my feminist's book works for some unmarried bitches, but it won't work for married housewife.

Or do you think it is possible to be the "bitch/hot/sexy/inapproachable femme fatale" and the "mother of my kids"?

Do men despise bitches? So I'd like to understand, why the "Why men marry bitches"-book focuses to much on the approach to stay a bitch forever.
As if a bitch would be completely on equal feeting with her man.
So if she was equal, she could have a job like him, feel emotionally independent and a bit superficial, she'd be like a man, just would look like a woman.
On the other hand: Do men despise housewives?
This is, why my sister feels sad, because he want's that hot, independant girl she was in 2005, but he behaves dominanty, so she became like a bird, someone cut his feathers, so that it won't fly away.

But then, he feels angry about that, too, which is quite schizophrenic.

[Jarla87]

Hi Velda,

no I never was in any German Forums before, so I could not be thrown out ;-D sometimes a wirte a few comments on yahoo and collect red thumbs *hahaha*. You know I do 't want to bother other People with my opinion, that the reason why I would never post in Feminist minded Forums. Actually there are some common things my mom I I can laugh about. For example if a veiled muslim woman describes herself as a Feminist. I mean that's an oxymoron. You can't be both. You are probably a cultural Marxist then, but not a Feminist.

I don't know much to say about the classification between "mother of my children" and "Whore". I leave this question open to the males in this Forum.
People are looking usually for different types. I would not marry s.o. who had 10, 15,20 girlfriends before. Because I prefer another type of man.
And I guess that my future husband would have looked for the type of woman I am. When you Dress modest as a woman and you are more a traditional type, it does not automatically mean, that I can't be attractive. It's just my Definition what I think is attractive but I rather prefer to wear clean, modest clothes, a clean face, clean nails and teeth than a load of make-up, plasticnails and a tasteless miniskirt. My opinion is that feminism has caused much Trouble between the sexes. On one side women want to force men to respect them, be equal and Freak out if they feel discriminated, at the other side it is sth. very natural that a woman wants affection and Attention from men. It may Freak out some feminists here but women naturally want to submit. If you look at the other side what feminism has done to men, it's the same disaster: They did not let the men be men. Boys in Schools, Kindergartens could not grow up as men, because most workers in the educational field are women and the theories and approaches the past decandes that were taught in universtities came from women -> feminists. I think one cause of the sexualization of women (and also men) in our Society is feminism. Women were hurt by feminism in their natural identity as well as men.
The other cause is also the pill, and that you are able nowadays to divide the joy of sexuality from procreation. It's just my opinion, but I think the Pill has actually enslaved women sexually than it has liberated them.

Sorry for my views being a bit controversial, but in the circles I am they are pretty common. :-)

Have a nice day! :-)

[Taiga Lake]

- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy
I think there is some serious privilege checking needed to be taken place, not everyone is young for example, as a strong black woman who identifies as east mongolian mongoose that triggered the living shit out of me.

[Jarla87]

- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy
I think there is some serious privilege checking needed to be taken place, not everyone is young for example, as a strong black woman that triggered the living shit out of me.


Yeah I think we discussed about the black, disabled women and their sexual Needs ;-D

[Velda]

That makes sense. Like attracts like.

Which makes "queen" fight "king" and vice versa, because, one of them wants to be the alpha.

If you stay in your traditional roles like Jenna87 proposes, than you might not fight concerning your territorium. ("But I can do the dishwashing even quicker and better than you!" = No man will ever say so to his wife.)


That doesn't work except on weak men. Excuse my vulgar language but once you fucked a chick she can't use sex as a tool because, well, you already fucked her.
It is not about being located in bed on the back an waiting until it's over. Sex can be an art. It is about emotional bondage as well. Perhaps it is about physical bondage, too, or whatever both, men and woman like. A woman can rule a man, which can be seen several times in history.
All courtesans did so. Kleopatra ruled Caesar, and she is said, not to have been pretty at all. She was intelligent though, and they could discuss things concerning warfare.

All wonderful women, but they did not do the dishwashing, they had their own money and were as cruel and brilliant and intelligent as men. There were hardly ever wifes.
Thats the point. They were always courtisans.

So I'd like to ask these question again: Do men divide women up into mothers and whores?
Do they want both, but not into one person?
Or are they perfectly satisfied with a super - alpha - wife which is both?
Could feminist teach me to become this kind of woman? Obviously no.
But I don't want to end up dishwashing, because I taught myself ancient Greek in 2001 and did an A+ exam, after having learnt three other languages before, so dishwashing is too demanding for my intelligence. Same with my sister: The was a professional sportswoman. We left it all behind for our kids. We teach them, what we learnt, but we never get any praise of money for that.

It's okay, we love our kids, but we'd like to have some influence, power, whatever mastery.
We have no mastery at all, and that really, really sucks.
That's why i wrote here, thinking about, wheter it is right to say:

"You can't teach someone respect, you can only teach him fear." ( I don't remember, who said this in the discussion, but I voted it up.)
Even though I like guns, I don't have enough time or money to train gunfighting, because I don't have the time to earn money to pay ammunition and training courses. I haven't money as well to afford a car to go to training courses, and someone has to do babysitting as usual, which is me, so I'll pobably end up like my sister. ;-)

@Jarla87
It's good, that you are happy with your life, I thought you were married already, for some reasons, but as you are not: Look at your grooms mother. That's probably what he will want you to live life as well. If you can agree, she is happy, then he's the right one for you, I think. If you'd live in Nordrhein-Westfalen, they would't let you work as a teacher btw., they wouldn't have given you the Staatsexamen as well. Instead Verfassungsschutz would check out, what you do. That's bullshit of course, but this is, how it works. My opinion this dictum made by Adorno is right: "I don't fear fascists wearing fascists masks but I fear fascists wearing democrats masks."




He's bored. 90% of the attention naturally goes to the children.
Guess what, some housewifes are bored, too. But they still have to please and entertain some husband and pretend to be a mysterious alpha-queen, which they have never been. So this "Why men marry bitches" book really sucks. It is though said to be sold over a million times.
The author seems to be very rich now, which makes me angry, because I did not buy the book second hand on ebay. Btw. now she can afford to buy ammunition and gunfighting seminars, which she won't do anyway.
I think, someone should write a book about it and sell it to earn money. That person could probably be me. ;-)
Don't buy it, but please watch this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_f5gqROO2Zc

[Foxy]

Sad, but I know someone who did this too.

I don't recommend it for the health of the children and husband.

... just sad.

Bah, I dislike more when people stay together for the well-being of children than for true love.


Why shouldnt the husband leave her with the kids?

If a woman did that to me she would lose all rights to her children. :cool:

Because children are a weight: they repulse possible partners (I myself have been courted by a guy who had a child, when he confessed this to me I almost thrown in my cocktail), economically and in terms of time and energy to invest. If a woman can bear it all, a man can't.

A ma will go creazy/hysterical in few weeks. A man used to have a wife is lost without.

Her husband is just taking her for granted. Besides knowing that someone else still desires his wife may wake up his possessive side.

[Dictator]

Bah, I dislike more when people stay together for the well-being of children than for true love.



Because children are a weight: they repulse possible partners (I myself have been courted by a guy who had a child, when he confessed this to me I almost thrown in my cocktail), economically and in terms of time and energy to invest. If a woman can bear it all, a man can't.

A ma will go creazy/hysterical in few weeks. A man used to have a wife is lost without.

Her husband is just taking her for granted. Besides knowing that someone else still desires his wife may wake up his possessive side.

Being a mother takes guts, you are too weak for that, so don't call children a weight just because you're too frail to carry one.

[zhaoyun]

Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy, a white board for the projections of your man's ideas about the perfect woman

Men are shallow. Maintain this for as long as possible.

[LightHouse89]

Bah, I dislike more when people stay together for the well-being of children than for true love.



Because children are a weight: they repulse possible partners (I myself have been courted by a guy who had a child, when he confessed this to me I almost thrown in my cocktail), economically and in terms of time and energy to invest. If a woman can bear it all, a man can't.

A ma will go creazy/hysterical in few weeks. A man used to have a wife is lost without.

Her husband is just taking her for granted. Besides knowing that someone else still desires his wife may wake up his possessive side.

Here when this happens, or when a spouse heads out the door the children usually want nothing to do with that parent that ran off. Cant say I blame them either.

Children born out of wedlock this usually will happen to.

[Velda]

And some boys even need to fight back against like Agrov's books and feminist's lies and brainwash by this kind of anti-feminist "menhood-academy".
http://manhood101.com/

This is really awful. I will keep that in mind for a new job idea. (Building up a training center and doing courses like that.) ;-)

[Grenzland]

Do you want to be happy? Sometimes I think women like you like to be depressed and lonely.

[Rudel]

- Treat yourself as a queen, you will attract a king
- Behave like a special edition highly recommended but rare thing, so that the man will be happy to share time with you
- Let sex be something special, use it as a reward
- Be young, be free, be beautiful, sexy, a white board for the projections of your man's ideas about the perfect woman
- Give him the possibility to fight for you, don't be something like selfevident

Bleh, special snowflake bitch syndrome. Doesn't work on me, and probably not on most people.

[Velda]

Bah, I dislike more when people stay together for the well-being of children than for true love.
You fight, you disagree, you step one step back, then you think about it and somehow you got wiser.
In the end it may be love, this has to develop. Of course it won't work if one of them or both are completely egocentric idiots.




Because children are a weight: they repulse possible partners
:-) That's what I thought having no kids as well. If you have them, more than one, you won't want to attract other partners any more, because it's like - you have everything. Having 4 now, I simply say: "It's o.k. to get a fifth by my husband, but attract another partner? Why? If my fridge is stuffed full with meals, I don't feel the urge to shop into a supermarket. If one has eaten a lot already, or has given birth several times - it's like - i can only speak for myself:
I have used like 60% of my capacity concerning kids, raising them, giving birth, being a mother, so, it's o.k. I stay calm now.
No need for other men. I am pleased, I love my kids, they drive me crazy, but that's normal, too.


A man will go creazy/hysterical in few weeks. A man used to have a wife is lost without. It's good to have a mother in law for the childbed-time because of that. ;-)


Her husband is just taking her for granted. Besides knowing that someone else still desires his wife may wake up his possessive side.
May be true. But I must admit, this is difficult for a mother of 3 kids. She won't be like that, but I understand, what you mean. This was like, when she was younger. Same with me. It's o.k. if someone makes our men jealous, but with kids? No. I would ran away, if some men came to flirt with me having my daughter with me e.g. because I'd think, that must be some sort of pervert. No normal guy would flirt with a mother of 3 or 4 kids, no matter, how good she is looking.

This is not necessary to deal with those men, btw. one gets really even-tempered with several kids. No urge for whatever - as far I am only talking for myself.

[Velda]

Do you want to be happy? Sometimes I think women like you like to be depressed and lonely.
The way to achieve complete happiness, or better to say harmony, wisedom, love and strength is a hard and stony one.
Sometimes I hate those who have thrown them stones on my feet, but it gives some hard skin on the upper side of the feet, that will look like shitty in high heels.
That is, why I feel a bit depressed sometimes, but it goes away. ;-)

[Rudel]

She can pass to the next stage: the ice-queen---> find a lover, leave the kids to husband, escape with the lover abroad or simply in an other city.

I know that many women did this after years of marriage and the husbands returned to lick their feet.

Or the husband could lose his shit and kill the woman, and she'd deserve it.

[Jarla87]

@Jarla87
It's good, that you are happy with your life, I thought you were married already, for some reasons, but as you are not: Look at your grooms mother. That's probably what he will want you to live life as well. If you can agree, she is happy, then he's the right one for you, I think. If you'd live in Nordrhein-Westfalen, they would't let you work as a teacher btw., they wouldn't have given you the Staatsexamen as well. Instead Verfassungsschutz would check out, what you do. That's bullshit of course, but this is, how it works. My opinion this dictum made by Adorno is right: "I don't fear fascists wearing fascists masks but I fear fascists wearing democrats masks."
[/url]

Won't state anything about Adorno yet - I agree with the Quote- , but let me say it with Ernst Bloch:“The most tragic form of loss isn't the loss of security; it's the loss of the capacity to imagine that things could be different.”
Man I'm quoting jews... *hahaha* he just came into my mind when you quoted Adorno. My friend always read Adorno and I was reading Bloch. I was 17 back then and my favorite TV Programme was Kulturzeit at 3Sat. *hahaha*
My records are clear btw and I don`t look like the typical Nationalist Girl (from middle -some refer it as eastern- Germany). I mean it`s their Thing how they Dress up, but I don't have any Thor Steinar Shirts or other stuff. My hair is natural, I don't wear make up. I have no tattos or piercings and prefer modest female clothing with traditional elements. I really like Haferl shoes :-D
From the outside I look like a friendly, tradtional woman, but inside my mind ...*hahaha*.

Yes sometimes I wonder if I would not be bored as a housewife, but I think as soon as I have children it won't be that boring. I am planing to homeschool them anyways. I know it's not legal in Germany yet, but in other countries or send them to a good Waldorf School. But you can hardly find any good ones that are not subverted by leftists.

[Harley]

Bah, I dislike more when people stay together for the well-being of children than for true love.
I didn't say that a couple should stay together for the children. In fact, I disagree with that. I believe two separate and happy parents do much better than two miserable parents.

I think that any parent who abandons their partner with the kids should forfeit all parental rights and still be fiscally responsible for the children's upbringing. The problem with the scenario you presented is that a person should be wo/man enough to state he or she is unhappy and end one relationship before beginning another one. It is most damaging to self to spawn new relationships without finishing the others first.

Do not leave all doors open. We weren't raised in a barn.




Because children are a weight: they repulse possible partners (I myself have been courted by a guy who had a child, when he confessed this to me I almost thrown in my cocktail), economically and in terms of time and energy to invest. If a woman can bear it all, a man can't.

A ma will go creazy/hysterical in few weeks. A man used to have a wife is lost without.

Her husband is just taking her for granted. Besides knowing that someone else still desires his wife may wake up his possessive side.
It depends on the person.

I have never seen my child as a weight. I do not regret her existence and would go through the same problems over and over again if it meant she would be born and she would be mine.

I feel sorry for any child whose parent regrets birthing them for the sake of someone's shallow disapproval. I would willingly choose to be single if I had to make the choice between the parenthood and relationship partner.

OP's sister's husband may be taking her for granted, but it doesn't mean that she would be unable to find a partner who appreciates her and can treat her children well, should she decide to leave her husband.

I wish people would just speak for themselves when it came to attraction, instead of laying down false tracks that bring down the hopes of those who want a different start.

It is your right to choose a partner based on how you want to live your life. What are the chances that she will only find people who believe as you do, with the same motivations as yours?

And what are the chances that she can find a high quality partner who treats her well and treats her children as his own, having no children before?

It is not impossible.

[Velda]

:“The most tragic form of loss isn't the loss of security; it's the loss of the capacity to imagine that things could be different.”
Or: The one who sacrifices security for freedom deserves non of them.


I don`t look like the typical Nationalist Girl (from middle -some refer it as eastern- Germany). [...]
From the outside I look like a friendly, tradtional woman, but inside my mind ...*hahaha*.
It's not importatant, how you look like: I have clothes for every occasion, which is from Dirndl to Bluejeans to classic skirt and blouse. It's interesting, how people judge on you, when you wear really conservative style like Landhaustracht. Next day it is blue Jeans and military coat, which is possible only, because I do not have to work. That's freedom, and I like it.


Yes sometimes I wonder if I would not be bored as a housewife, but I think as soon as I have children it won't be that boring.
I am sure, it won't be boring. At least it is not for me: We don't spent much money, there is time for some sports, and I teach my kids as you plan it with yours already. That is because of the annoying guidelines of Kultusministerium, which makes kids even more stupid, such as "Schreiben nach Gehör." This even does not have to do anything with leftwing or right wing, it is complete bullshit.
This makes a whole generation of analphabets, and then of course leftwing education comes into that too. So it's good to live in Bavaria, because in Berlin e.g. your kids may come out of school saying: "Isch geh Bushalte, Alter."
That's why I thing, it's no problem to quote Jews, as lot's of them are quite intelligent, and Hitlers stupid politics created problems, which made things really bad, nowadays, which is, that German kids start talking and acting like: "Isch geh Bushalte, Alter."
You may read, what I wrote concerning Pegida, this is in the Deutschland-section here on TA. Seems, in Bavatia, you don't have those problems jet, but they will arise, it's only a matter of time. Just google "Berlin" and "Schule". People pay lots of money, to not have to send their kids to schools with 90% muslim, as they won't learn anything there, except how to sell and use drugs.


I am planing to homeschool them anyways. I know it's not legal in Germany yet, but in other countries or send them to a good Waldorf School. But you can hardly find any good ones that are not subverted by leftists.
Waldorf is completely leftwing. I did some education courses at univesity, so I visited one. They dance their names there, and they have to do extra courses, to get the Abitur, which have to be paid then by the kid's parents

Btw. at the age of 17 I was about to plan, to go to a Kibbuz in Israel to live there for a time, but I am not a Jew, even though the Kibbuz-Idea was born out of some leftwing ideas as well. So Waldorschule could work for your kids as well. Nevertheless, some parents seem to be really political correct do-gooders, and this would suck to me somehow.

[Herr Abubu]

There's no such thing as submissive and ladylike. If you want submissive get a slave . One doesn't have to be submissive to be respectful and decent.

Of course there is, and it doesn't imply slavery. A woman's submission implies the recognition of man's authority over her. First her father, then her husband. No doubt you would wish it otherwise, seeing as you're the embodiment of all that is wrong with women today. Wishes don't make reality, however.

[Herr Abubu]

Admit it! That's your dream queen.

Yeah, but I like being practical about things. No way I could get a beautiful flower like her.

[Dictator]

Of course there is, and it doesn't imply slavery. A woman's submission implies the recognition of man's authority over her. First her father, then her husband. No doubt you would wish it otherwise, seeing as you're the embodiment of all that is wrong with women today. Wishes don't make reality, however.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gvofUUk6_k

[Skulgrimen]

Women's idea of respect: Letting her go clubbing dressed like a slut.

[dude]

Yeah, but I like being practical about things. No way I could get a beautiful flower like her.
why not? Can't handle a strong woman...:p

[Jarla87]

I teach my kids as you plan it with yours already. That is because of the annoying guidelines of Kultusministerium, which makes kids even more stupid, such as "Schreiben nach Gehör." This even does not have to do anything with leftwing or right wing, it is complete bullshit.
This makes a whole generation of analphabets, and then of course leftwing education comes into that too. So it's good to live in Bavaria, because in Berlin e.g. your kids may come out of school saying: "Isch geh Bushalte, Alter."

Yes, Schreiben nach Gehör is worse. The best Thing you can do as a parent is to teach your children the right spelling from the beginning. At some afternoons I have extra Groups/classes with those children who learned after this concept. Some examples: Schpilen, Schnebal, dengt ...
They're 3rd and 4th graders.
Please do your children the favor, ingore the teachers and teach them good, proper German :D.



Waldorf is completely leftwing. I did some education courses at univesity, so I visited one. They dance their names there, and they have to do extra courses, to get the Abitur, which have to be paid then by the kid's parents

Btw. at the age of 17 I was about to plan, to go to a Kibbuz in Israel to live there for a time, but I am not a Jew, even though the Kibbuz-Idea was born out of some leftwing ideas as well. So Waldorschule could work for your kids as well. Nevertheless, some parents seem to be really political correct do-gooders, and this would suck to me somehow.

Yeah and that's the reason why I would probably not send them to a Waldorfschool. I have nothing against Eurythmy btw., but if any of the other parents would find out about my views they would probably throw us out. It would not be the first case.
If they lower the Abitur Standard more down - I recently read a Buschkowsky Interview where he mentioned that he turned a Gymnasium in Neukölln into a Ganztagsgymnasium and eventhough it has 90% immigrants the numbers of disciples who left with Abitur increased sixfold.... I was just thinking: "Aha :-/ ... " - and with our low Ausländerabitur my children could make it with Basic Waldorf Education *hahaha*.

[Longbowman]

Women's idea of respect: Letting her go clubbing dressed like a slut.

How would you know? You've never had a girlfriend.

[Longbowman]

Yeah, but I like being practical about things. No way I could get a beautiful flower like her.

Who's the woman in your signature, and why is she in your signature?

[Foxy]

It depends on the person.

I have never seen my child as a weight. I do not regret her existence and would go through the same problems over and over again if it meant she would be born and she would be mine.

I feel sorry for any child whose parent regrets birthing them for the sake of someone's shallow disapproval. I would willingly choose to be single if I had to make the choice between the parenthood and relationship partner.

OP's sister's husband may be taking her for granted, but it doesn't mean that she would be unable to find a partner who appreciates her and can treat her children well, should she decide to leave her husband.

I wish people would just speak for themselves when it came to attraction, instead of laying down false tracks that bring down the hopes of those who want a different start.

It is your right to choose a partner based on how you want to live your life. What are the chances that she will only find people who believe as you do, with the same motivations as yours?

And what are the chances that she can find a high quality partner who treats her well and treats her children as his own, having no children before?

It is not impossible.

We are speaking about a relationship started with wrong bases: read the Whole 3d-> it suggests that bragging, acting like an expensive edition you can have the "king". Well, if with these prerequisites your "king" happens to be an asshole there is no much surprise.



Men are typically the ones dishing out the discipline in the family. That in itself should let you know such a man wouldn't be running around like a chicken without a head.

Not always.


Well, now he has an excuse to go fuck someone else. You're a woman and so you're thinking like a woman: you need to think like men do to understand. Once a man loses interest in a woman he's emotionally done with her. It doesn't matter if other men find her appealing. He's had her and she's no longer interesting. Her best bet is to suggest a threesome with another woman. How many wives would be accepting of a threesome with another woman involved? Not many and so that's a wife worth keeping.

When a person looses interest in his or her partner the story is finished, it can be a woman to lose for first or a man.

Back to the topic, if she's still young and attractive she should enjoy life. She'll find someone else.

[Velda]

Back to the topic, if she's still young and attractive she should enjoy life. She'll find someone else.

Even an attractive woman with 3 kids won't find someone else, at least none, who is better than the one before, I think.
She is 39, which may be young for a 50 year old man, but -no way. I wouldn't want that, too, if I was her.

She has a daughter, who is 10 now. Another reason not to leave the father of her kids, because another man may think some years later, her daughter was more attractive than her. That would give me the feeling of having to protect her. Constellations like that may become very embarrassing, so - no way too dangerous, that he'd start molesting her.
Nevertheless it is her decision. Her husband is not all bad, like: "He does not smoke, drink or play computergames all day. He does his job, earns money, saves some, loves his kids. I think he even does not cheat on her and does not slap her, too."


So I think, it all could be worse. We'll find a way out of her unhappiness. I'd like so say "thanks" to all those, who spent their time to give helpful advices. Thumbs up to you! :-)



Btw. I found this good website yesterday: http://womenagainstfeminism.com/

@Jenna87
My answer is here http://www.theapricity.com/forum/showthread.php?156628-The-PEGIDA-Movement-Believes-The-Real-Number-Of-Muslims-In-Germany-Is-14-Million&p=3476599&viewfull=1#post3476599
because it is off topic in this thread.
Have a nice day! :-)