What harms a relationship more: jealousy, or indifference?

[Absinthe]

I just wrote an article on the subject, so I thought of discussing it here as well :)

So how about it? Of course, you'll say that neither is good or that a healthy amount of both is necessary and all that...it's common sense.

But since there are few, if any, perfect relationships in the world, Dr.Blaxis poses the following question:

Hypothetically speaking, if the world was divided in only jealous, and indifferent people, would you rather have a jealous partner, or an indifferent one?

I'll explain the stance I took in the article, later on. I want to hear some opinions first :thumbs up

[Vargtand]

I think indifference rules supreme.

Jealousy although it can be ugly still shows that the people in the relationship still care enough about each others not to wish to compromise that way of life, ideally that would be love, but you can't have all.

indifference shows how ever that you do not care about your partner at all, or that your partner in no way affects your way of life, that I think indicates the lack of love if you so wish... and that I believe is quite harmful for any form of relationship be it a romantic or friendship.

[Skandi]

If I had to have one or the other I would rather have the indifferent one, as jealousy would just lead to constant fights and the other person trying to control my every action.

[Revenant]

Indifferent, the jealous ones are a right pain.

[Absinthe]

Oops...I voted 'indifferent' by mistake... :rolleyes: Can admins change my vote to 'jealous', please? :)

[Red Skull]

Indifference is Bliss.

That is my academic and empirical conclusion after two and a half years with my girl.

[Beorn]

I would go for the 'jealous' type.

I am a passionate man and need passionate people around me. To have a person which shows such disdain and disregard towards me is no better than a stranger, and as such, gets treated like one.

[Absinthe]

To sum my position up, in just a few words, I would take the jealous one.

I am a passionate person, I also like to give and receive affection, and I want my relationship to be caring.

To me, jealousy is a sign of emotion in excess, while indifference is the lack of it thereof.

A jealous partner can 'learn', with patience and effort, and through positive experience in the relationship, to trust the other half, while an indifferent partner most likely will not give a toss about you, no matter how much you want him too.

[Red Skull]

For me it's more the attitude that what I dont know, see, hear or learn of, simply does not exist/happen. I'm very comfortable with that. I would be jealous if she actually was unfaithful, and I would of course be very angry. But as long as I don't know anything, she's not doing anything.

[Ulf]

With jealousy they care, with indifference they don't. With the jealous one at least you are on their mind. Indifference is worse, who would want to be with someone who didn't care about what they did?

If I'm talking to another woman at a party my wife will get jealous, but that's healthy, imo. It shows to me that she cares about me enough to not want to lose me.

If she was indifferent then I might just go off with the other woman, because I want to be with someone who cares about me and my actions.

I voted wrong too, I was responding to the thread title, not the poll title: Which I prefer...

[YggsVinr]

Having had two of my exs be the jealous type, I'd have to say indifference all the way. I am not the kind of person to cheat, and I would expect no less from a boyfriend so there is absolutely no need for jealousy. If someone cheats I'm not going to be jealous, I'll just end the relationship and have nothing more to do with them. No need for drama and fights over a jealous significant other. At least with indifference you don't have the drama jealousy brings.

[Red Skull]

Jealousy can also be about control, and not caring. Some women/men are just plain evil.

[Lady L]

I would have to go w/ indifference does do more harm. Jealousy as Ulf described it sounds about right to me. Of course there is a very un-healthy side of jealousy which is not always driven by love..but control. As long as it isn't that kind of jealousy...then indifference would do more harm. If it isn't indifference but the out of control, nut, jealous person then it may get ya killed..' So, in that situation I would say Jealousy would play a more harmful role.

[Vulpix]

I'd rather have the jealous type, at least it implies some level of caring.

There is a saying: "the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference".

[safinator]

Jealousy because it is an emotion caused by insecurity, this person may be afraid to lose you and cause harm to their partner. On the other hand in any relationship you will find some indifference because no two people think alike all the time. You have to agree to disagree or move on if it's something that neither party can accept and move past.