Having children DOESN'T make you happy

[Marusya]

Becoming a parent only causes brief joy that 'wears off after a year'


Researchers analysed data from 4 countries: UK, US, Germany and Australia
They found the positive glow of parenthood only lasted for around 12 months
After that time there was no improvement in 'subjective well being', they said
But having a partner produces a positive effect that doesn't go away over time


From a soon to be released study on the origins of happiness. Paris School of Economics.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4025692/Having-children-DOESN-T-make-happy-parent-causes-brief-joy-wears-year.html

[Egyptian]

It's all about the culture and how the kids are raised.

[Profileid]

Would rather be old and die knowing I was surrounded by children,grandchildren...
than be childless,have my husband die and know it was just me in a nursing home somewhere.
This study is bullshit. Not to mention the thread title is misleading. It does indeed make you "happy" according to the researchers. If only for a year.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

Would rather be old and die knowing I was surrounded by children,grandchildren...
than be childless,have my husband die and know it was just me in a nursing home somewhere.
This study is bullshit. Not to mention the thread title is misleading. It does indeed make you "happy" according to the researchers. If only for a year.

What if some of your kids are assholes?

Published on Jul 22, 2014
(#4) Opie got angry for Jim Breuer. His sisters want money. Jim plays a conversation between him and his mom. (07/22/2014)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHzw2Q8oKpw

[Profileid]

What if some of your kids are assholes?

Published on Jul 22, 2014
(#4) Opie got angry for Jim Breuer. His sisters want money. Jim plays a conversation between him and his mom. (07/22/2014)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHzw2Q8oKpw

"What is the worst case scenario happens?"
Yeah,good argument buddy.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

"What is the worst case scenario happens?"
Yeah,good argument buddy.

Worst case scenario would be they murder you (even worse they cannibalize you). There are many assholes in the world. It's only natural that the more children you have the more likely you're going to have one that is an asshole.

And almost all kids are assholes when they're teens. Will this be you one day?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLyfy87F3b4

[Smitty]

Worst case scenario would be they murder you (even worse they cannibalize you). There are many assholes in the world. It's only natural that the more children you have the more likely you're going to have one that is an asshole.

And almost all kids are assholes when they're teens. Will this be you one day?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLyfy87F3b4

If you raise them right, that's not too likely.

[MissProvocateur]

Regardless, having a family will still be a goal for many, including myself. Happiness starts looking like a shallow pursuit when you compare it to the goal of continuing your legacy, as inconsequential as it is in the grand scale of things.

[Marusya]

Would rather be old and die knowing I was surrounded by children,grandchildren...
than be childless,have my husband die and know it was just me in a nursing home somewhere.
This study is bullshit. Not to mention the thread title is misleading. It does indeed make you "happy" according to the researchers. If only for a year.

Your children could pre-decease you. I know of a woman who had six children and they all died before she did. There are no guarantees your children, or grandchildren, will be there for you in old age.

[Marusya]

Worst case scenario would be they murder you (even worse they cannibalize you). There are many assholes in the world. It's only natural that the more children you have the more likely you're going to have one that is an asshole.

And almost all kids are assholes when they're teens. Will this be you one day?



Lyle and Erik Menendez. Murdered their parents execution style for their money.

[Smitty]

Your children could pre-decease you. I know of a woman who had six children and they all died before she did. There are no guarantees your children, or grandchildren, will be there for you in old age.

What is your personal view on the subject, Marusya? I took you for the domestic type.

[Al-Meksiki]

In other news, the sky is blue

[Profileid]

Your children could pre-decease you. I know of a woman who had six children and they all died before she did. There are no guarantees your children, or grandchildren, will be there for you in old age.

Was this a Ukrainian woman by any chance? My sympathies for her, but her situation is thankfully uncommon in the modern world.
Again. You're using the same worst case scenario argument as Grimes. If you don't want to have children, that's fine. It's not for everybody.

But don't try to delude yourself into thinking a slim chance of something bad happening is a reason to avoid it altogether.

[Marusya]

What is your personal view on the subject, Marusya? I took you for the domestic type.

I am quite domestic oriented. No doubt about it. I love all things HOME. (Martha Stewart, Marie Kondo, cooking, cleaning, Good Housekeeping magazine, House Beautiful magazine.) My hero growing up was Mary Poppins. Just me and Bert in the park having a jolly holiday. :D I love children but I'm conflicted about having them. What if I have an autistic or special needs child? Am I up to the challenges of parenthood.

I really like my space and alone time. My bf is the same way. He says he could happily live with or without children, but no more than two. I think he thinks that way because I would have to do the majority of the child raising, like 99.9% of all women in the world. It is a big responsibility not to be taken lightly in today's world.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

If you raise them right, that's not too likely.

A child's personality has more to do with their genetics in play with their social environment (peer relationships are actually more important than parents when it comes to social development) assuming there is no abuse in the family. You see the differences in brothers and sisters all time. One might be better behaved, while the other is problematic. It's a roll of the genetic dice. What a parent should do is be mindful of their child's friends. Peers make the child. How kids act with their parents is often very different than how they behave with their peers. How they act with their friends is closer to their true self.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

Was this a Ukrainian woman by any chance? My sympathies for her, but her situation is thankfully uncommon in the modern world.
Again. You're using the same worst case scenario argument as Grimes. If you don't want to have children, that's fine. It's not for everybody.

But don't try to delude yourself into thinking a slim chance of something bad happening is a reason to avoid it altogether.

I wasn't making an argument. I was trying to be funny. Growing up my peers were dark and cynical in their humor and thus was born Colonel Frank Grimes. Although obviously I had a natural inclination towards cynical humor.

[Kriptc06]

kids are the future, one day we die and they are our successors, it's not meant make you happy, just how things work out.

[Marusya]

Was this a Ukrainian woman by any chance? My sympathies for her, but her situation is thankfully uncommon in the modern world.
Again. You're using the same worst case scenario argument as Grimes. If you don't want to have children, that's fine. It's not for everybody.

But don't try to delude yourself into thinking a slim chance of something bad happening is a reason to avoid it altogether.

No, the woman wasn't Ukrainian. :p Just a generic American white woman that a friend of mine knew from her work as a nurse. She lived to age 90. Her husband died in his 70s and she had six sons. They died in their 60s and 70s. Three of her sons had children, but those grandchildren lived thousands of miles away from her. She really had no one in the end. My friend felt bad for her because she never had any visitors in the 10 years she lived in the assisted living facility. Her grandchildren didn't have time for her.

[Al-Meksiki]

Personally, I'd rather live on in my achievments than live on through some stomach gremlin I contributed half the DNA to create.

Not particularly concerned about leaving behind a legacy anyways. If I deserve one, I'll leave one through my actions

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

kids are the future, one day we die and they are our successors, it's not meant make you happy, just how things work out.

I honestly dream of driving my hypothetical 6 year old son back from his first little league baseball game and berating him for his lack of hustle.

[Smitty]

A child's personality has more to do with their genetics in play with their social environment (peer relationships are actually more important than parents when it comes to social development) assuming there is no abuse in the family. You see the differences in brothers and sisters all time. One might be better behaved, while the other is problematic. It's a roll of the genetic dice. What a parent should do is be mindful of their child's friends. Peers make the child. How kids act with their parents is often very different than how they behave with their peers. How they act with their friends is closer to their true self.

But influencing a child's peers is part and parcel with raising him right. And I don't think genetics are that decisive. Of course they play a role, but so does nurture. My parents and their parenting techniques were a huge influence in my life.

[Aodhan]

Travelling does!

[Smitty]

I am quite domestic oriented. No doubt about it. I love all things HOME. (Martha Stewart, Marie Kondo, cooking, cleaning, Good Housekeeping magazine, House Beautiful magazine.) My hero growing up was Mary Poppins. Just me and Bert in the park having a jolly holiday. :D I love children but I'm conflicted about having them. What if I have an autistic or special needs child? Am I up to the challenges of parenthood.

I really like my space and alone time. My bf is the same way. He says he could happily live with or without children, but no more than two. I think he thinks that way because I would have to do the majority of the child raising, like 99.9% of all women in the world. It is a big responsibility not to be taken lightly in today's world.

I think you approach the idea with a healthy fear. But I also don't think it's as big a deal as people make it out to be these days. At the end of the day, food, shelter, and love are all that's really needed.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

No, the woman wasn't Ukrainian. :p Just a generic American white woman that a friend of mine knew from her work as a nurse. She lived to age 90. Her husband died in his 70s and she had six sons. They died in their 60s and 70s. Three of her sons had children, but those grandchildren lived thousands of miles away from her. She really had no one in the end. My friend felt bad for her because she never had any visitors in the 10 years she lived in the assisted living facility. Her grandchildren didn't have time for her.

That's fucked up. I can only imagine doing that to someone if the relative was abusive. Perhaps move her to a nursing home closer to them if she didn't mind. At worst fly out there once a year and call every few days to make sure she's fine.

[catgeorge]

This is true. Life is shit without children and life is shit with them. This is at inlaws family new years eve party. There were seven kids that day all six and under...the dads just wanted to drink.

https://i.imgsafe.org/dc937ccf44.jpg

[Bell Beaker]

Life is hard, life is tuff.

People collect the fruits of their work with time.

[N1019]

Having children might not always make people happy. It is expensive, stressful and tiring. But it can give life more meaning than going to work, indulgence in material objects and other selfish pursuits. But it's all relative. It's difficult for people on each side of the fence to accurately compare their lives and happiness to each other without crossing it themselves.

[CordedWhelp]

The amount of non-science in this "study" is staggering.

[Drawing-slim]

The way I see it is the more perfect a human being is the more genuinely disgusted he/she will feel imagining identic copies of themselves, so the nobler you're the less desire you have on having kids. If you were any less noble evolution would have plaid or it will paly tricks on you to end up with kids, perhaps a lot of kids in order to increase your chances of improvement and reach the pinnacle heights of the that noble indivudal who lacks the desire of having kids.

[Queen B]

People should realize that not everyone wants to have kids and not everyone should have kids.There are many people that didn't want to become parents, and this created unhappy/abused kids and unhappy parents as well.

You should not have a kid because society dictates you so, because ''this should be your life goal'' or '' this is what a person is destined to do'', but because you want to, and you are willing to everything within your power to raise this little human.

[catgeorge]

For the record I love little kids they are hilarious. Wouldnt have anymore though - three will do me. I joke that will sell one of them on Ebay one day.. but meh.

[Ziveth]

I agree (about having children doesn't make you happy), there are many people happy without children or single people which are happy. I'm single and i'm happy :)

[Larali]

Ridiculous. My kids bring me joy every day. After I had kids, EVERYTHING in life paled in comparison (including romantic relationship.)

I think, if someone said that the joy wore off after a year, something is wrong with them, or they aren't spending enough time bonding with their kids (maybe women going back to work, etc).

[Celestia]

Lol can confirm this is BS. It really just depends on the person.
Kids aren’t for everyone.

[Ylla]

Some people love them others don't really care about them. I love children and ideally both my husband and I want a big family but I also love time for myself, couple time with my husband (we still go on evening dates but not as often), and the general spontaneity, so I think 2 or 3 kids max..It's important to balance that way you can be the best possible parent and therefore "happy".

[Joso]

it is better to be happy and alone( free) than full of people with and sad