Examples of bad parenting

[Grumpy Cat]

I'm not a parent myself, but I have my opinions. Although I would like to hear input from actual parents so that I will know what to not do when I have kids.

Here are my thoughts

Putting your kid on Ritalin
Hovering over the kid too much (aka helicopter parenting)
Not watching the kid enough and letting it run around like a feral cat
If the kid is fat... Feed the kid healthy food and let it play outside. There is no excuse for a kid to be fat since they have faster metabolisms than adults
If you're Acadian and you speak English to your kid
Not passing on traditions
Not teaching the kid manners, domestic skills, social skills, etc
Punishing the kid for being a kid (this is slightly related to putting the kid on Ritalin)

Thoughts?

[Sahson]

Hot sauce
molestation
abuse

[Grey]

I can really only reiterate a lot of what you said.


Putting your kid on Ritalin

I agree, and furthermore I believe that medications for mental issues often treat the symptoms rather than the actual problem, and merely serve as a crutch.

These days there's an app and a drug for everything. ;)


Hovering over the kid too much (aka helicopter parenting)
Not watching the kid enough and letting it run around like a feral cat

Exactly. Parents tend to fall into two categories: control freaks and uninvolved idiots. One needs to keep in mind that their job as a parent is to assist in their child's development, which means being more than a spectator; conversely, as a good parent one ought to foster independence in their children and respect them as an individual.

[Magister Eckhart]

I'm not a parent myself, but I have my opinions. Although I would like to hear input from actual parents so that I will know what to not do when I have kids.

Here are my thoughts

Putting your kid on Ritalin
Hovering over the kid too much (aka helicopter parenting)
Not watching the kid enough and letting it run around like a feral cat
If the kid is fat... Feed the kid healthy food and let it play outside. There is no excuse for a kid to be fat since they have faster metabolisms than adults
If you're Acadian and you speak English to your kid
Not passing on traditions
Not teaching the kid manners, domestic skills, social skills, etc
Punishing the kid for being a kid (this is slightly related to putting the kid on Ritalin)

Thoughts?

I would add (for women) "pursuing a career besides motherhood". A woman's place is in the home until her children have grown to a point where independence is reasonable. You wouldn't try to be both a successful doctor and a successful lawyer, how can you expect to be a successful [insert career here] and a successful mother: one will always need to be subordinate to the other, and women pursuing careers rarely, if ever, subordinate the job of being a mother to their own selfish desires.

[Fortis in Arduis]

Josef Fritzl.

[Brynhild]

I'm not a parent myself, but I have my opinions. Although I would like to hear input from actual parents so that I will know what to not do when I have kids.

Want a manual with that? You can't generalise in that fashion. You will carry values to teach your children, but there are extenuating circumstances that you're not always able to know about, let alone control. Each child is different and they deserve to be treated like the unique beings that they are.


Here are my thoughts

Putting your kid on Ritalin

I pointed out already somewhere else that I don't agree with putting children on ritalin as a means of taking the responsibility of disciplining the children away from the parents. That said, however, there are exceptions. ADHD is a disorder of the neuro transmitters and some kids do benefit from this sort of correction.


Hovering over the kid too much (aka helicopter parenting)
Not watching the kid enough and letting it run around like a feral cat

Care to tell me how to tread that fine line between the two? This comes back to treating the kids as unique individuals, and developing your parenting skills with that. There is a fine line between being over-protective and lax.


If the kid is fat... Feed the kid healthy food and let it play outside. There is no excuse for a kid to be fat since they have faster metabolisms than adults

Children are either he or she - never it! I do agree in terms of a healthy diet and exercise as it stands them in good stead for the rest of their lives. However, kids won't learn from their parents about any of that if they choose to eat junk food themselves. That example has to be set from the outset.


If you're Acadian and you speak English to your kid

You don't specify if the mother or father is Acadian. Children will always speak the mother's tongue first, because essentially it is the mothers who teach them. If there is every chance for a child to be bilingual, then they should learn the language of both their parents by all means.


Not passing on traditions

I agree that there should be an awareness of heritage and culture, but not everyone has the same definitive idea of what comes under tradition.


Not teaching the kid manners, domestic skills, social skills, etc

Manners and domestic skills are a family oriented learning but social skills not necessarily so. Kids need enough free rein to know for themselves what that entails - including making mistakes, as parents can't watch them all the time in this regard.


Punishing the kid for being a kid (this is slightly related to putting the kid on Ritalin)

Thoughts?

If, by that, you mean abusing the children because they are just being who they are, then yes, I agree. However, children are fast learners and they are perfectly capable of testing boundaries. Actions have consequences and children need to know what they are. Punishment in this form is necessary, as it teaches them rules and responsibilities. Whatever is suitable punishment varies to some extent.

[Grumpy Cat]

Want a manual with that? You can't generalise in that fashion. You will carry values to teach your children, but there are extenuating circumstances that you're not always able to know about, let alone control. Each child is different and they deserve to be treated like the unique beings that they are.

Yeah, I realize that. Just whenever



Care to tell me how to tread that fine line between the two? This comes back to treating the kids as unique individuals, and developing your parenting skills with that. There is a fine line between being over-protective and lax.

When I talk about helicopter parenting I'm talking about parents who do their homework for their kids. Yes, they do exist.

Then the opposite extreme are parents who just don't even bother with their kids, they could be running around at 3 am and they don't care.



Children are either he or she - never it! I do agree in terms of a healthy diet and exercise as it stands them in good stead for the rest of their lives. However, kids won't learn from their parents about any of that if they choose to eat junk food themselves. That example has to be set from the outset.

My mistake, should have said he or she. I was trying to articulate that it could be either sex.



If, by that, you mean abusing the children because they are just being who they are, then yes, I agree. However, children are fast learners and they are perfectly capable of testing boundaries. Actions have consequences and children need to know what they are. Punishment in this form is necessary, as it teaches them rules and responsibilities. Whatever is suitable punishment varies to some extent.

I'm talking about parents who yell at their kids for doing stuff normal kids do. I've seen it out on the streets, and it pisses me off... I usually just sign and walk away.

[Treffie]

I used to know a woman who would let her 2 year old daughter play in the bath while she (the mother) was watching CSI Miami. When I pointed out the fact that children can drown in 2 inches of water, she looked at me in disbelief.

[Grumpy Cat]

children can drown in 2 inches of water

Not just children, adults too.

8TOSq-IoJLc

[Sahson]

Children are either he or she - never it! I do agree in terms of a healthy diet and exercise as it stands them in good stead for the rest of their lives. However, kids won't learn from their parents about any of that if they choose to eat junk food themselves. That example has to be set from the outset.

In Acadiandriftwoods defense, some languages don't have 3 genders, some have no genders, others like French have 2 genders... Mandarin has one word to mean boy, girl, and it, and that is Tā. However girl, and boy is differentiated in the Hanzi.

I also say "it" when refering to both genders, and even a baby, I tend to get corrected.

[Don]

6424

"fuzzy boundaries"?

Reliable signal of bad parenting.

[Grumpy Cat]

6424

"fuzzy boundaries"?

Reliable signal of bad parenting.

Didn't work

[Curtis24]

In today's world, eating meals together, and teaching your kid how to eat right, is a big thing. If I have kids, I'm going to make sure to eat prepared meals with them three times a day until they're on their own.

[Brynhild]

I would add (for women) "pursuing a career besides motherhood". A woman's place is in the home until her children have grown to a point where independence is reasonable. You wouldn't try to be both a successful doctor and a successful lawyer, how can you expect to be a successful [insert career here] and a successful mother: one will always need to be subordinate to the other, and women pursuing careers rarely, if ever, subordinate the job of being a mother to their own selfish desires.

I have to admit that I didn't want to work after my eldest was born, but I returned when he was 10 months old and hated every moment away from him. At the time though, my ex wasn't earning enough to justify my staying at home and we both were there at those times when one of us needed to be. When my daughter was born, I became a full-time parent and I never looked back, apart from some local part-time work.

It's an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes both parents need to work. It may not have started off that way but the cost of living would dictate otherwise. Whether that is really detrimental to a child's development I can't say - except when no time is spent with them at all.


When I talk about helicopter parenting I'm talking about parents who do their homework for their kids. Yes, they do exist.

I've had to do that, in particular with my youngest child. Sometimes, children can't comprehend the tasks given them and until such a time he does, then I will continue to do so. Thankfully he's getting better at this.


My mistake, should have said he or she. I was trying to articulate that it could be either sex.

I guess I'm particular in this regard when I use the word it in that sense it's to describe an inanimate object


I'm talking about parents who yell at their kids for doing stuff normal kids do. I've seen it out on the streets, and it pisses me off... I usually just sign and walk away.

While that may well be true in some cases, the trouble is you don't always know what's been going on five minutes or more beforehand. Parents are still human and when their kids play up and play up to the point that you're driven to distraction (especially if you're sleep deprived and otherwise not at your best) you're going to lose it. It doesn't mean that the parents are necessarily abusive all of the time. Count me as one of the many guilty in this instance.


Not just children, adults too.

An adult can at least be left in a bath alone, which is the point here. Children need to be constantly supervised around water. This is why they drown when they're not.


In Acadiandriftwoods defense, some languages don't have 3 genders, some have no genders, others like French have 2 genders... Mandarin has one word to mean boy, girl, and it, and that is Tā. However girl, and boy is differentiated in the Hanzi.

I also say "it" when refering to both genders, and even a baby, I tend to get corrected.

I wasn't meant to have a go, but since the only language I speak is English, I refer to children in a more personal sense. Since they're human too, I think that's fair.

I only wish to point out that what can be perceived as bad parenting isn't what it always seems. There are always the more extreme cases which get my goat up and I opine about how some parents don't deserve to be.

The three main problems I have in this case would then be:

Alcoholics, drug addicts and gamblers. They would be the first to sell off your child for the next hit. Or leave them in a stinking hot car for their own selfish ends. They're the ones who piss me off!:mad:

[Magister Eckhart]

I have to admit that I didn't want to work after my eldest was born, but I returned when he was 10 months old and hated every moment away from him. At the time though, my ex wasn't earning enough to justify my staying at home and we both were there at those times when one of us needed to be. When my daughter was born, I became a full-time parent and I never looked back, apart from some local part-time work.

It's an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes both parents need to work. It may not have started off that way but the cost of living would dictate otherwise. Whether that is really detrimental to a child's development I can't say - except when no time is spent with them at all.

Actually my use of "career" was deliberate. Our economy has been restructured by feminists and self-hating male leftists and cultural Marxists such that women are often forced to work.

It is women who deliberately choose to pursue a career rather than raising their children that deserve society's censure; many women have no choice but to work, even though they don't want any career besides motherhood. My heart breaks for them and their children, really.

[whirlwind]

Actually my use of "career" was deliberate. Our economy has been restructured by feminists and self-hating male leftists and cultural Marxists such that women are often forced to work.

It is women who deliberately choose to pursue a career rather than raising their children that deserve society's censure; many women have no choice but to work, even though they don't want any career besides motherhood. My heart breaks for them and their children, really.

...
Just as many males [although less so today--the majority of students at my Uni are females, particularly the upperclassmen, even in my courses that are traditionally male-oriented like criminal justice and statistical research methods] place the pursuit of a satisfying and exciting career first and eventual parenthood second on their list of goals, many females very much wish to make personal accomplishments before they have children. I do believe there is an inherent benefit in terms of child-rearing to a mother staying at home for the formative years, but as with most things, a truly dedicated individual can mind their duties as a parent as well as their professional duties.
There is no special formula for properly raising your children, it's a matter of conscientiousness and, at times, innovation.
I'm but a lowly psychology student, I have no children, and I have much to learn, but at least in terms of statistics I know a thing or two about parental strategies and their outcomes.
It appears that the most essential factor is awareness. Working parents often cannot manage the necessary level of awareness in order to notice any failings in the foundation of the structure in progress that is their child.
Things are bound to go wrong no matter how you raise your children, the best you can do is be conscious of the individual child's needs and always be available to them constructively. I really believe that as with any relationship, communication is key.
Through communication one can provide guidance and support, as well as discipline when necessary. If and when I have a child, I would strive to combine Socratic elements with the spine of a firm sense of right and wrong, yes and no, good and bad.
I don't believe that a parent should be a child's "best friend," as so many parents nowadays strive to be, but I do believe that your child should feel comfortable coming to you with anything they would otherwise turn to peers for.
Kids are idiots, oftentimes, and if your kid looks to other kids in times of need and confusion because they feel they can't be open with you, that will only result in them getting some shitty and immature advice in many cases. At all costs, imbue your child with a real sense of integrity, not first by disciplining them into submission but by supportively guiding them to conclusions.
They are far more likely to hold certain values true if they feel like they developed them individually, it's far too easy for them to rebel if they feel those values were inserted into their minds unwittingly :coughteenagerscough:.

Regarding Ritalin:

If a child displays disturbing tendencies such as Conduct Disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, it's likely [but not necessarily certain] that you have failed them on some level at a young age. Around 30% of children diagnosed with ADHD develop dangerous behavioral disorders as they grow older, and this is likely due to combined factors: genetic pre-disposition to impulsivity and parents who don't know how to properly react to children of a challenging temperament. Being overly authoritarian or overly permissive are two common reactions.
Conflict with parents at home greatly increases the likelihood of a child becoming a chronic trouble-maker and disruption to society. Turning to Ritalin, except in severe cases that are clearly not able to be managed by cognitive-behavioral therapy alone, is a lazy and irresponsible cop out imo. You are not teaching your child to curb irresponsible and destructive behavior, you are medicating them and side-stepping the issue.
And, btw, the issue is very likely to be your inability as a parent to some extent.
My younger brother has a clear case of ADD, but was never medicated, and instead we as a family simply discouraged the negative aspects of his behavior and encouraged the positive. There was also a lot of behavioral modeling going on.
Now, as a teenager, he is one of the most respectful, considerate, and mature kids I know, even though he is still clearly hyperactive. He channeled that energy into numerous passions, and with STRUCTURED expectations provided to him he manages to achieve in most areas of his life. For instance, he did not want to join the wrestling team because the appeal wasn't immediately apparent to him, but was basically forced to in an effort to utilize a lot of that excess energy and teach him self-discipline. He is now a champion in his weight class, as well as an excellent student and aspiring musician/performer. Sharp as a tack, too.
If MY formerly obnoxious, agitating, and often dishonest little bro can harness his ADD related behavior, I'd say most moderate cases can be mitigated without medication [especially considering he was raised by a single mother who had to go back to work when he was around 6].
And no matter what, even if your child has ADD so severe [and biological] that Ritalin is a necessary choice, there is no excuse for not pairing it with cognitive-behavioral therapy and proactive parenting.
I personally feel my parents failed me by not instilling in me the proper sense of self-discipline.
Because I was not a trouble maker and was relatively self-contained as well as a bit stubborn but only defiant in matters of principle [for example, I would challenge them on everyday matters, like when I needed a glass from the cabinet and no one was around to reach it for me I'd climb onto the counter and get it myself and argue fiercely that it made no sense to scold me for something like that when they couldn't provide a sensible reason for forbidding it] never leading to bad behavior or poor performance at school, I wasn't paid much mind. They entrusted me with my own development, and a child needs more than just love to develop properly. I had little to no guidance but lots of love.
In many ways I feel like I raised myself, which was good in helping me to develop a sense of individuality and no need for conformity, but bad in cultivating a drive to achieve. Anything I excelled in was the result of inherent ability, not discipline and study. So in my mind, teaching a child self-discipline is of paramount importance because they likely will not develop it on their own.

[Don]

"Una hostia a tiempo quita mucha tontería."

Semi-Literal translation "A slap at the time prevents much foolishness."

[Beorn]

If the kid is fat... Feed the kid healthy food and let it play outside. There is no excuse for a kid to be fat since they have faster metabolisms than adults

In the defence of those who do have overweight children, it has to be noted that after a hard day working in an incredibly low waged job with long, soul destroying hours and perhaps being the only parent to raise the children, plus the fact that millions of people in Britain do not have gardens at all to run around in, and the fact that fatty food is waaay cheaper than healthy, nourishing diets and that outside the front door is death, drugs and a life of crime and destitution, a little slack can be allowed for these "bad parents".

I thank God everyday I wasn't raised on a sink estate.

[Grumpy Cat]

In the defence of those who do have overweight children, it has to be noted that after a hard day working in an incredibly low waged job with long, soul destroying hours and perhaps being the only parent to raise the children, plus the fact that millions of people in Britain do not have gardens at all to run around in, and the fact that fatty food is waaay cheaper than healthy, nourishing diets and that outside the front door is death, drugs and a life of crime and destitution, a little slack can be allowed for these "bad parents".

I thank God everyday I wasn't raised on a sink estate.

Well you have a point there. Healthy food and activities for kids need to be more affordable.

But hey, at least they're not giving their kid Ritalin. :p

[Curtis24]

...
Just as many males [although less so today--the majority of students at my Uni are females, particularly the upperclassmen, even in my courses that are traditionally male-oriented like criminal justice and statistical research methods] place the pursuit of a satisfying and exciting career first and eventual parenthood second on their list of goals, many females very much wish to make personal accomplishments before they have children. I do believe there is an inherent benefit in terms of child-rearing to a mother staying at home for the formative years, but as with most things, a truly dedicated individual can mind their duties as a parent as well as their professional duties.
There is no special formula for properly raising your children, it's a matter of conscientiousness and, at times, innovation.
I'm but a lowly psychology student, I have no children, and I have much to learn, but at least in terms of statistics I know a thing or two about parental strategies and their outcomes.
It appears that the most essential factor is awareness. Working parents often cannot manage the necessary level of awareness in order to notice any failings in the foundation of the structure in progress that is their child.
Things are bound to go wrong no matter how you raise your children, the best you can do is be conscious of the individual child's needs and always be available to them constructively. I really believe that as with any relationship, communication is key.
Through communication one can provide guidance and support, as well as discipline when necessary. If and when I have a child, I would strive to combine Socratic elements with the spine of a firm sense of right and wrong, yes and no, good and bad.
I don't believe that a parent should be a child's "best friend," as so many parents nowadays strive to be, but I do believe that your child should feel comfortable coming to you with anything they would otherwise turn to peers for.
Kids are idiots, oftentimes, and if your kid looks to other kids in times of need and confusion because they feel they can't be open with you, that will only result in them getting some shitty and immature advice in many cases. At all costs, imbue your child with a real sense of integrity, not first by disciplining them into submission but by supportively guiding them to conclusions.
They are far more likely to hold certain values true if they feel like they developed them individually, it's far too easy for them to rebel if they feel those values were inserted into their minds unwittingly :coughteenagerscough:.

Regarding Ritalin:

If a child displays disturbing tendencies such as Conduct Disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder, it's likely [but not necessarily certain] that you have failed them on some level at a young age. Around 30% of children diagnosed with ADHD develop dangerous behavioral disorders as they grow older, and this is likely due to combined factors: genetic pre-disposition to impulsivity and parents who don't know how to properly react to children of a challenging temperament. Being overly authoritarian or overly permissive are two common reactions.
Conflict with parents at home greatly increases the likelihood of a child becoming a chronic trouble-maker and disruption to society. Turning to Ritalin, except in severe cases that are clearly not able to be managed by cognitive-behavioral therapy alone, is a lazy and irresponsible cop out imo. You are not teaching your child to curb irresponsible and destructive behavior, you are medicating them and side-stepping the issue.
And, btw, the issue is very likely to be your inability as a parent to some extent.
My younger brother has a clear case of ADD, but was never medicated, and instead we as a family simply discouraged the negative aspects of his behavior and encouraged the positive. There was also a lot of behavioral modeling going on.
Now, as a teenager, he is one of the most respectful, considerate, and mature kids I know, even though he is still clearly hyperactive. He channeled that energy into numerous passions, and with STRUCTURED expectations provided to him he manages to achieve in most areas of his life. For instance, he did not want to join the wrestling team because the appeal wasn't immediately apparent to him, but was basically forced to in an effort to utilize a lot of that excess energy and teach him self-discipline. He is now a champion in his weight class, as well as an excellent student and aspiring musician/performer. Sharp as a tack, too.
If MY formerly obnoxious, agitating, and often dishonest little bro can harness his ADD related behavior, I'd say most moderate cases can be mitigated without medication [especially considering he was raised by a single mother who had to go back to work when he was around 6].
And no matter what, even if your child has ADD so severe [and biological] that Ritalin is a necessary choice, there is no excuse for not pairing it with cognitive-behavioral therapy and proactive parenting.
I personally feel my parents failed me by not instilling in me the proper sense of self-discipline.
Because I was not a trouble maker and was relatively self-contained as well as a bit stubborn but only defiant in matters of principle [for example, I would challenge them on everyday matters, like when I needed a glass from the cabinet and no one was around to reach it for me I'd climb onto the counter and get it myself and argue fiercely that it made no sense to scold me for something like that when they couldn't provide a sensible reason for forbidding it] never leading to bad behavior or poor performance at school, I wasn't paid much mind. They entrusted me with my own development, and a child needs more than just love to develop properly. I had little to no guidance but lots of love.
In many ways I feel like I raised myself, which was good in helping me to develop a sense of individuality and no need for conformity, but bad in cultivating a drive to achieve. Anything I excelled in was the result of inherent ability, not discipline and study. So in my mind, teaching a child self-discipline is of paramount importance because they likely will not develop it on their own.

In truth, we don't really know what the effects of being raised by "career mothers" is. They're such a recent development, and at the latest the products of them are in their early to mid 20s, that we haven't really seen how the kids of such households have turned out and what the ramifications for society will be.

I'd suspect you can't lump them all together, individual personality plays a big role(though, its not everything). A person's behavior and life is the result of what they were born with, their innate traits, and their environment. Lots of people will succeed being raised by a career mother; many may be left behind, though. Though I disagree that career mothers are going to raise children the same way traditional mothers have with similar results, they're different types of households and they're going to produce some different results, both for boys as well as girls.

[Magister Eckhart]

In truth, we don't really know what the effects of being raised by "career mothers" is. They're such a recent development, and at the latest the products of them are in their early to mid 20s, that we haven't really seen how the kids of such households have turned out and what the ramifications for society will be.

I certainly disagree with that. The phenomenon began by and large in the 1980s; most of my peers in undergrad and now in graduate school were raised by "career women" in the city, and believe me, you can definitely tell it's an extremely negative thing. Look at every white child age 20-25 and under and you will see the effects of "career women" on the destruction of healthy motherhood.

I would submit, in addition, that from 18 to 25 you can already see what kind of man or woman the individual is and will be.

[whirlwind]

^Yeah, before it was just the DADS fucking everything up, now the moms are too! :rolleyes2:

[Magister Eckhart]

^Yeah, before it was just the DADS fucking everything up, now the moms are too! :rolleyes2:

:confused:

[Curtis24]

I certainly disagree with that. The phenomenon began by and large in the 1980s; most of my peers in undergrad and now in graduate school were raised by "career women" in the city, and believe me, you can definitely tell it's an extremely negative thing. Look at every white child age 20-25 and under and you will see the effects of "career women" on the destruction of healthy motherhood.

I would submit, in addition, that from 18 to 25 you can already see what kind of man or woman the individual is and will be.

and what negative influences do career moms have on their children? cause I don't see it yet..

[Bloodeagle]

I certainly disagree with that. The phenomenon began by and large in the 1980s
Every generation tries to reinvent itself by thinking and claiming that back in the "good old days", everything was peaches and cream! :D
It was very common in the 70's, when I was a kid, for both parents to work.
Hell, the term Latchkey kid was coined in the 1940's!

The term is claimed to have originated from an NBC (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NBC) documentary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radio_documentary) in 1944, due to the phenomenon of children being left home alone becoming common during and after World War II (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II)Looking back at history, I bet that this was the cause behind the "radical 60's" and the effect of loosening the moral noose, that had enslaved and caused to rebel those children of Aquarius. ;)

[Groenewolf]

It was very common in the 70's, when I was a kid, for both parents to work.

Wagerian was talking about career women, not necessarily working women. And indeed until relatively recently (20th century) in most families both the mother and father worked. Even more so for those living in the country-side. Only the relatively wealthy families could afford having their women being non-working. Alto these tended to involve themselves with charity.

[larali]

I used to say I'd never do a lot of things (spank, give them juice, junk food), until I had kids. Totally different scenario when considering reality.

I've read a lot of books on child rearing and education, and along with experience, I have to say that I've gotten the gentle discipline thing down. :thumb001: But at age 2 or 3, when you can't reason with them, sometimes a slap on the butt is necessary to get their attention.

It's paid off-- my kids are the sweetest, best behaved little buggers ever. Sure they have their moments, but generally I could not be more proud.

My advice to people who aren't parents yet is: don't judge parents too harshly. Every kid is different, they all have different needs and personalities, and some respond differently to styles of parenting.

[rhiannon]

Every generation tries to reinvent itself by thinking and claiming that back in the "good old days", everything was peaches and cream! :D
It was very common in the 70's, when I was a kid, for both parents to work.
Hell, the term Latchkey kid was coined in the 1940's!
Looking back at history, I bet that this was the cause behind the "radical 60's" and the effect of loosening the moral noose, that had enslaved and caused to rebel those children of Aquarius. ;)

*raises hand*
Product of the "first generation raised after no fault divorce became legal" here. Parents divorced pretty much as soon as it was made legal in 1970. Did the latchkey thing and all that, lol

My stance is pretty much this:

Until you (general you) have kids of your own...

While you (general you) are entitled to your opinions....keep em' to yourself. Don't go around telling your friends with children what you think they should be doing with their kids just because you don't agree with some of their methods. Armchair parenting is bullshit.

You will never know what having a child is like or what it requires of a person until you have one of your own. There is no better way to put this.

Caveat: All bets are off when the child in question is actually being abused and you are pretty much able to prove it. At this point, we ALL, as fellow human beings, have a moral obligation to protect our society's most vulnerable and helpless citizens from harm.

I would put my own life in danger if ever I came upon a child in harm's way, and I had ANY chance of changing that outcome.:)