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Brynhild
02-11-2009, 03:34 AM
I am interested in the various definitions I know that will arise from our good members here, and I don't wish for it to be limited just to the men's views on how they perceive a beautiful woman.

I would like to hear from the women their views on what they think is true beauty in a man - as well as in a woman if they wish. Likewise, I would also like to hear from the men what they think is true beauty in another man, as well as women.

You don't have to be gay to appreciate the qualities that can be seen in the same gender as yourself. I can say in all frankness that Ursula Andress was a very stunning woman in her day, as one example.


http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/mrogers/2005/04/09/ursula-andress---h_2115564a.jpg

I'm also a realist enough to know that we are initially drawn to a person's physical beauty first off, after all that's what makes us want to get to know them better. But beyond that, what else is there?

I will elaborate on my thoughts at a later point, but for now I wrote this up on my yahoo blog a while back.


On Being An Average Woman

In this day and age, we see lots of different advertising and images depicting various types of "Beautiful Woman". And yet these images tend to be very misleading, to say the least. We live with the modern technology of photoshopping and enhancing graphic images in one way or another.

Some interesting examples would be trimming down the size of a woman's thighs, increasing the size of her bust, straightening crooked teeth, taking out freckles or changing eye colour. I've only touched on some of these.

While there are many men out there who are more than happy with a woman who doesn't measure up to the standards of a catwalk model, there are others who might be fooling themselves into thinking that their perfect woman has to be built in a particular fashion and carry certain attributes that are pleasing to him. They may be lucky enough to find somebody like that - under a surgeon's knife!

What sort of messages are these images really sending to the world at large? We already live in a society in which we live by certain standards, and frankly not only are they unrealistic, they are also detrimental!

OK, we have the gorgeous models strutting their stuff on the catwalk or gracing the cover of a popular magazine. On average, their figure sizes are about a 6 to 8, they wear loads of makeup to cover their flaws, particular shades and lighting are used to make the setting more favourable - otherwise known as enhancement techniques. It's easy to see why men would view a lot of these women in terms of being "Eye Candy" but for the rest of us who are plain and average, we could be forgiven for thinking that we don't cut it.

So what really makes a beautiful woman once all these techniques are taken away and we view the normal canvas? We need to think about what we have to offer in other ways, and that again, comes down to personal choice.

From my experience, men enjoy the company of women who are engaging in conversation. They are good at listening, as well as speaking. Some men like a woman who has a sharp and sarcastic wit, while others like a woman who is more refined and subtle. The underlying issue is intelligence, the ability to converse about various topics, along with knowledge and experience of the world around them.

A man will also enjoy the company of a woman who thinks for herself and is generally comfortable with herself. By that, I mean she isn't high maintenance, no show pony and she doesn't carry so much baggage that she has to constantly depend on others so that she gets by in life. She doesn't worry about putting on a few extra kilos - although she will go to great lengths to take care of herself - or about applying another ton of makeup on top of what's already there. Self-assuredness is great, vanity is the ultimate turn-off.

What else makes a woman beautiful? Her love of children and animals, and the way she interacts with them? Is she a good cook, is she happy to get her hands dirty around the house and garden, because she is proud to have those things that she can share with those who mean most to her? Is it the way she laughs, a look on her face that makes the heart skip? Her gentle words and touch?

All these things vary for an individual, but if a woman can give any and all of these things to those people whom she loves and cherishes, these qualities will make her all the more beautiful. So for the men who already have women they love and cherish, count your blessings every day to have someone in your life who loves you to the very ends of the earth.

For the men who are still looking, either your standards are way too high, or else you're not paying attention to the fact that there is someone out there who loves you for who you are, for everything that you have ever been and for everything that you would become. The beautiful woman is way beyond that of a photoshopped image.

Please bear in mind that I'm writing this from my own perspective as a woman. I'm sure that men will hold their own views as to not only how they view women, but also how they believe we perceive them to be in terms of beauty.

Thoughts?

Psychonaut
02-11-2009, 03:56 AM
If we're just talking about physical attractiveness, then I can think of a few criteria that would form a kind of matrix:

Health: no matter how attractive a person might be otherwise, physical health can make it or break it. Obesity, anorexia, drug use, etc. all strongly detract from what might otherwise be a beautiful person.

Symmetry: an unsymmetrical face or an unharmonious blend of morphotypes is often the culprit when it comes to ugly faces.

Progressiveness: whatever people we're talking about, IMHO, the most beautiful specimens are usually progressive

Naturalness: a beautiful person is one who is beautiful without fake additions like makeup and plastic surgery. Such things can, perhaps, enhance natural beauty, but can never take its place.

That's all I can think of for now as far as generalized criteria.

Absinthe
02-11-2009, 10:00 AM
In a woman, for me it is a combination of:

-symmetry and progressiveness

-femininity and style (not neglected and tacky, but not too extravagant/slutty either)

-healthy and natural look, radiant complexion (even without make-up)

-cleaningness (next to godliness ;))

-character and cultivation

Any of the above missing, the recipe is spoiled.

For men, the standards are slightly different as we (I?) tend to put less emphasis on external features, and seek for strenght and integrity of character.

Not to say someone should be ugly. But for me, in order to consider a man to be attractive, he has to be skilled, intelligent, strong and brave, and a problem-solver. Not to mention honest and caring.

If I met a great looking man who doesn't possess the above qualities, I wouldn't go for him.

Oresai
02-11-2009, 10:09 AM
Physically, in both sexes, health and fitness to the best of one`s ability. It shows in glowing skin, shining eyes and healthy hair etc.
Beyond that, I have honestly found great beauty in the faces of what others would consider ugly.
I really think most folks answering this will be coloured by their own views of how they see themselves in the `beauty` scale. ;)
I freely admit to it myself.
A plain looking woman, I`m openly biased against those who use excessive means to cultivate what they see as physical beauty, such as too much plastic surgery and botox, etc.
For those for whom it isn`t readily available or desirable, well, we`re stuck with what nature and genes gives us, blameless, but it doesn`t hurt to take care of oneself to the best of our ability. :)
Beneath the shallows, I find the following to be most beautiful in a person...
grace, charm, intelligence, compassion and kindness (without being a pushover) and often, a quirkiness of character which sets them apart from mundane folks. :)

coldielox
03-09-2009, 01:33 AM
beauty is in the eye of the beholder.. no one person will ever have the exact same taste as the other..

WinterMoon
03-10-2009, 01:44 PM
When it comes to beauty it is about what's inside... a woman can be physically perfect, but if she is strutting around like a truck driver, smoking a cigarette, cursing like a sailor, then she can become the most unatractive, ugliest thing alive. The same for a man. I can see a physically attractive man, but then he opens his mouth and sounds like Snoop Dogg and it makes me cringe. He suddenly becomes completely unattractive and I can hardly stand to look at him. On the flip side, a man or woman can be what most would consider plain or even ugly, but if they have a beautiful character then when I look at them I only see a beautiful person. All their imperfections pale in comparisson to the beauty of what whines out from inside them. Also, some things can cancel out others.... for example, seeing a man who is loving towards children (good father qualities) is absolutely heart warming, but if I see that same man treat a woman like garbage then no amount of fatherliness can erase the ugly stain of that.

Anyhow, hope that gives just a small glimpse of how I see beauty.......

safinator
02-21-2012, 12:54 AM
It just doesnt exist. What is wonderful for you, is awful for someone else. So, the true beauty is just something strictly subjective. It doesn't exist, a definition.