Beorn
02-23-2009, 10:00 AM
:laugh:
I had to post this.
High Tech Arsezanian building techniques
In a revolutionary world first, South Africoon builders are proving so far advanced of accepted First World construction methods that they can put up large structures such as the one below, without first digging foundations!
http://www.zasucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/no_foundations.jpg (http://www.zasucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/no_foundations.jpg)
As can be seen in the image, support struts for this barn / hangar / warehouse need only be balanced precariously on piles of assorted rocks, bits of brick and chunks of hardened concrete. So what if its not perfectly level, its not as if they’re erecting the Sydney Opera House, or the Sears Towers now is it?
We interviewed Mr Sipho “Boom Boom” Bambaata of Bambaata & Khumalo Architects & Thatcheries, who said: “African building designers have made giant leaps in construction technology with our revolutionary “top down” approach. One day my partner Luckyboy Khumalo and I were brainstorming a particular project over some traditional Mageu (sour milk) beer where the client put us on a serrriaasly tight budget. So we cut some corners at first - mixing 1 part cement with 100 parts of sticky Transkei clay, adding good old Venda thatching grass and sticks instead of the usual iron bars for strengthening, and eissh, not only did we cut the budget in half, we could pay off the building inspector and my son Cashbox could pay his lobola!”
“This particular project involves building a wedding & entertainment function for a newly empowered BEE tycoon. We are in too much of a hurry to finish - Cashbox is getting married here next weekend so we decided to skip digging the foundations altogether. In fact, we don’t even need foundations anymore! My wife’s cousin Lovemore Sibanda is a security guard from the University of Zululand’s Engineering School’s faculty, and he says the weight of the struts & support pillars is more than enough to last through next weekend. Who are we to argue?
Hau, if it gets windy we’ll put some cement bags around the outside, or just cover the whole structure with a rented Marquee tent. We’ve already been paid for the job which was given to us by my uncle, town councillor for Polokwane so now we are too much happy!”
Mr Bambaata also said the corrugated iron being used is of the best quality - squatter camp grade, and furiously denied being negligent in using plastic twist ties instead of metal rivets to bolt the corrugated iron plates to the frame. “Construction will be completed by tomorrow, after which a traditional African cleansing & dedication ceremony will be held”. The locals have apparently promised not to steal any building materials (or parts of the building itself) until at least after the weekend, and judging by the nervous looking goats tethered to the broken cement mixer, all is now set for a raucous party, barring of course a gusty wind or two…
:clap2:
I had to post this.
High Tech Arsezanian building techniques
In a revolutionary world first, South Africoon builders are proving so far advanced of accepted First World construction methods that they can put up large structures such as the one below, without first digging foundations!
http://www.zasucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/no_foundations.jpg (http://www.zasucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/no_foundations.jpg)
As can be seen in the image, support struts for this barn / hangar / warehouse need only be balanced precariously on piles of assorted rocks, bits of brick and chunks of hardened concrete. So what if its not perfectly level, its not as if they’re erecting the Sydney Opera House, or the Sears Towers now is it?
We interviewed Mr Sipho “Boom Boom” Bambaata of Bambaata & Khumalo Architects & Thatcheries, who said: “African building designers have made giant leaps in construction technology with our revolutionary “top down” approach. One day my partner Luckyboy Khumalo and I were brainstorming a particular project over some traditional Mageu (sour milk) beer where the client put us on a serrriaasly tight budget. So we cut some corners at first - mixing 1 part cement with 100 parts of sticky Transkei clay, adding good old Venda thatching grass and sticks instead of the usual iron bars for strengthening, and eissh, not only did we cut the budget in half, we could pay off the building inspector and my son Cashbox could pay his lobola!”
“This particular project involves building a wedding & entertainment function for a newly empowered BEE tycoon. We are in too much of a hurry to finish - Cashbox is getting married here next weekend so we decided to skip digging the foundations altogether. In fact, we don’t even need foundations anymore! My wife’s cousin Lovemore Sibanda is a security guard from the University of Zululand’s Engineering School’s faculty, and he says the weight of the struts & support pillars is more than enough to last through next weekend. Who are we to argue?
Hau, if it gets windy we’ll put some cement bags around the outside, or just cover the whole structure with a rented Marquee tent. We’ve already been paid for the job which was given to us by my uncle, town councillor for Polokwane so now we are too much happy!”
Mr Bambaata also said the corrugated iron being used is of the best quality - squatter camp grade, and furiously denied being negligent in using plastic twist ties instead of metal rivets to bolt the corrugated iron plates to the frame. “Construction will be completed by tomorrow, after which a traditional African cleansing & dedication ceremony will be held”. The locals have apparently promised not to steal any building materials (or parts of the building itself) until at least after the weekend, and judging by the nervous looking goats tethered to the broken cement mixer, all is now set for a raucous party, barring of course a gusty wind or two…
:clap2: