Ppl who say they are strongly against abuse in relationship,cheat and emotionally torture partner?

[Midnattsol]

How do you explain this? What's your opinion on emotional abuse? Have you some experience with it?
I've witnessed people suffering as much/sometimes even more from emotional than physical torment.
Withering away gradually, getting ill from stress and sorrow.

Two sides of the same coin (physical and emotional/mental abuse)or what?

[Grumpy Cat]

Emotional abuse is worse than physical.

I'd rather be punched in the face than insulted.

[alexandra]

i stayed in an emotionally abusive relationship for a while at one point. it will change a person.

why did i stay? because i hated myself, at the time.

who we choose as lovers is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. plain and simple.

[Breedingvariety]

Emotional abuse is worse than physical.

I'd rather be punched in the face than insulted.
Isn't punch in a face an insult with added bonus of face punch?

[Grumpy Cat]

Isn't punch in a face an insult with added bonus of face punch?

It's not the same. Insults cut deep.

I'll admit, I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother (although physical was rare). Examples of physical abuse were hitting, choking, and dragging me down the hallway by my hair.

The insults were on a daily basis, several times a day. Insults, and mind games. My mother rarely called me by my real name. She would also tell me nobody liked me and things like that. These insults stick to me even 10 years after moving out. I have nightmares about the insults, not the hitting.

[Midnattsol]

It's not the same. Insults cut deep.

I'll admit, I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother (although physical was rare). Examples of physical abuse were hitting, choking, and dragging me down the hallway by my hair.

The insults were on a daily basis, several times a day. Insults, and mind games. My mother rarely called me by my real name. She would also tell me nobody liked me and things like that. These insults stick to me even 10 years after moving out. I have nightmares about the insults, not the hitting.

This is really awful of her. I'm aware of people suffering like this and that's why i started the thread. Do you have any idea why she acted that way?

[Grumpy Cat]

Do you have any idea why she acted that way?

No idea and I don't care to know. She was like that with my sister and also my grandmother (her mother) when she lived with us. She used to call my father stupid too.

Oh yeah, and she also wasn't even that nice to the cat, either.

[antonio]

Emotional abuse is worse than physical.

I'd rather be punched in the face than insulted.

Lucky girl (you had not been punched in the head strong enough:D). Unfortunatelly for me I had both experiences and I can radically deny your assertion. :coffee:

[Germanicus]

My elder brother was horrific to me when i was growing up, i was scared and very nervous around him, he inflicted so much physical and mental abuse on me that i could never have a relationship with him. Even now at my age, and i do not fear many men, i still fear my brothers temper, for this reason i have absolutely nothing to do with him.
If we did get into the same room as each other i fear one of us would die in that room, and it would not be me!

[antonio]

Sadism is usual among children. I can recall myself being involved in such episodes both as an agent as a victim. Both kind of cases I still feel shame about them. Maybe your brother feels the same.

[Don]

Emotional abuse is a very weak concept, since in the interactions in close relations some way of manipulation is inevitable and the interpretation about these as abuses or normative and natural frictions depends on the sensibility of the person involved.

The limits are not as clear as in the phisichal abuse.

In this blurry limits there is place for a lot of weak souls to call emotional torture to everything that is not pink and based in continuous worshipping and praise.
When they think as these as emotional tortures, the role of the tortured is built. There is the start of a, many times, "seeked" path.


...

"Men are disturbed not by things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen" Epictetus.

[Germanicus]

Sadism is usual among children. I can recall myself being involved in such episodes both as an agent as a victim. Both kind of cases I still feel shame about them. Maybe your brother feels the same.

No, he feels no shame.
My mother once told me that when i was born, my brother who was 4 yrs of age changed from a happy child, to one that bad tempered, this she told me was jealousy.
She explained to me that where i was the popular one he was the unpopular one with friends and relations, my father forgave him for anything and i guess he appeased him.
My brother tried to strangle me one night, he would have succeeded if i had not escaped.
As i got older the assaults got nastier and brutal.
At the time i was a teenager i cannot remember having anything to do with him in anyway if i could help it.
One Christmas time, around the time i was 23 we had a fist fight, it was stopped by people who got out of their cars who saw me with my arm round his neck, the other i was hitting him in the face.
To this day, 30years have passed and i have no wish to rekindle any sort of relationship with this man.

[heathen_son]

In domestic violence matters, I rarely see one (physical) without the other (emotional). Often, threats of physical abuse are just as potent, if not more so, than the physical blows themselves.

Though I have come to understand better the causes of domestic violence, it still angers me when a man beats a women. But I am also angered by the women that tolerate it, to the point of having children with their violent partners, knowing that they will bring their children up in such a household where the abuse is considered normal, perpetuating the cycle of abuse as their children inherit the conception that abuse is part of a normal relationship.

[Bloodeagle]

No idea and I don't care to know. She was like that with my sister and also my grandmother (her mother) when she lived with us. She used to call my father stupid too.

Oh yeah, and she also wasn't even that nice to the cat, either.

I had a friend back in high school, who had an evil mom that would call him a dirty nigger and tell him that she wished he would have been the one who died and not his brother. :eek: She obviously had some deep issues herself.

[Grumpy Cat]

I had a friend back in high school, who had an evil mom that would call him a dirty nigger and tell him that she wished he would have been the one who died and not his brother. :eek: She obviously had some deep issues herself.

My mother admitted she was mean to us because she didn't want us to live at home and sponge off mom and dad forever. Her motivation technique.

Still, I don't talk to my mother often. Some of the things she said I cannot forgive.

She did get better, though, after she got sick with cancer. She became a completely different person after she recovered, a better person. However, she has a selective memory as far as what she has done and said.

My sister has a son now, though, and his time with his grandmother is rather limited, and closely supervised.

[Magister Eckhart]

Plain old hypocrisy. It's not socially acceptable to hit women or children any more, even though it could do them a world of good, but it's perfectly fine to disregard everyone but oneself, which means things like loyalty, love, responsibility, and self-restraint go out the window.

In most cases, except among plebeians given to wanton violence, corporeal punishment is rooted in the very things we have thrown out in favour of "entitlement" and "rights." And so, a man can betray his woman twenty times over by having relations with every whore who approaches him, but a good, loyal husband is forbidden to slap his wife or child when they get out of hand.

[Beorn]

It's not socially acceptable to hit children any more, even though it could do them a world of good

You are welcome to come witness the last Neanderthal if you wish!

I even give my children words of wisdom as I horrendously beat them into abuseOMGi'mcalling nspcc.

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man (fuck being gender neutral) healthy, wealthy and wise."

:cool:

[Grumpy Cat]

loooool Some people on this forum act more like non-whites than whites. :coffee:

[Magister Eckhart]

You are welcome to come witness the last Neanderthal if you wish!

I even give my children words of wisdom as I horrendously beat them into abuseOMGi'mcalling nspcc.

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man (fuck being gender neutral) healthy, wealthy and wise."

:cool:

I had a hard time deciphering that, but if you're condemning my post I maintain that corporeal punishment is to the benefit of a child.

I can't believe I've gotten such a negative response for that post. Even a negative rep point! Absurd! When did you people all turn into flower children who refuse to backhand a mouthy kid?

When children misbehave, often corporeal punishment is the only proper punishment, and in most cases it's best. All this "abuse" nonsense is exaggerated to make simple corporeal punishment seem the same as wanton violence (the very same wanton violence I condemned in my post if half of you would bother reading the blasted thing).

Frankly, I'm appalled - either many people didn't actually read what I wrote or I'm surrounded by blithe idealists who think that you can actually talk a child out of misbehaviour. No wonder Europe is dying.

[Grumpy Cat]

No, the negrep was actually for you advocating a man hitting his wife to "keep her in line". Makes me realize what kind of "man" you are.

I swear, there are people on this forum who act more like backwards Saudis than Europeans (ie advocating hitting women and treating them as second class), and they claim to be "European preservationalists". What a joke!

[Don]

I see many oversensitive extremism in here (as in the whole Europe).

A man telling that in some situations, to give a corporeal punishment to a child, is an effective way to teach him (relating the behaviour with the most primary animal aversion, a strong natural instinctive link in our program of education), as our ancestors have done from the very borning of our specie (and previous)...

... is basically called a woman abuser and a saudi.


I think there is a problem in seeing the equilibrium, the measurement.

Kind of inquisition we are living in our countries. Extremism, indeed.

Forgive me, but, despite this man never had my sympathies, I am forced to give my opinion about this, no matter how exposed I am to the over-sensibility named.

[Grumpy Cat]

I see many oversensitive extremism in here (as in the whole Europe).

A man telling that in some situations, to give a corporeal punishment to a child, is an effective way to teach him (relating the behaviour with the most primary animal aversion, a strong natural instinctive link in our program of education), as our ancestors have done from the very borning of our specie (and previous)...

... is basically called a woman abuser and a saudi.

I fail to see the equilibrium, the measurement and the maturity.

Kind of inquisition we are living in our countries.

Forgive me, but, despite this man never had my sympathies, I am forced to give my opinion about this, no matter how exposed I am to the over-sensibility named.

No, he said:


but a good, loyal husband is forbidden to slap his wife or child when they get out of hand.

Yes, spanking is acceptable for a child, things like that, when they are young. Women, never. Sorry, men who hit women are not men.

Good thing his girlfriend is not Acadian. You hit an Acadian woman, you will have every Acadian man in the community out for your blood.

[Bloodeagle]

Slapping a brat, I can do, but slapping a grown woman I cannot condone.

[Grumpy Cat]

Slapping a brat, I can do, but slapping a grown woman I cannot condone.

I'd like to see what he considers "out of hand". :coffee:

[Don]

No, he said:

Yes, spanking is acceptable for a child, things like that, when they are young. Women, never. Sorry, men who hit women are not men.

Good thing his girlfriend is not Acadian. You hit an Acadian woman, you will have every Acadian man in the community out for your blood.

Ah, Ok, I was exclusively referring to the sentences, I read about children.

That just made me remind that recently a spaniard mother (single, poor and sacrificed for their children), got accused by her own bad raised daughter for being an abuser.

The stupid inquisitorial media basically burnt the poor woman who cried and cried telling sorry for only having given the girl 1 cheek in one specific moment (too late it seems.) In here, if a child accuses his parents of having received one simple cheek, they are condemned.

But I was talking about children and their education, not about women.

The men who hit women don't do it to "educate" her (senseless) but because other reasons related to their lack of manship and their lowness.

...

I must confess that when a woman is killed by a partner after tolerating him many beatings, after knowing what kind of being he was, giving this specimen support, love, sex and children...
... I feel no sadness at all.

If were not by these kind of women, these kind of "men" would already been extincted in humanity. Is long to explain and many elements are involved... but I am sure about this. These women are guilty.

[Bloodeagle]

I'd like to see what he considers "out of hand". :coffee:
I know how it feels to get angry and want to slap a woman but to cross that line changes the rules of a relationship from that of a partnership to that of servitude. Most men that I have known to slap their women around, are the same guys who beat the hell out of their kids and kick the dog when life gets them down for their own failures. They love to abuse those who depend on them.

[Grumpy Cat]

I know how it feels to get angry and want to slap a woman but to cross that line changes the rules of a relationship from that of a partnership to that of servitude. Most men that I have known to slap their women around, are the same guys who beat the hell out of their kids and kick the dog when life gets them down for their own failures. They love to abuse those who depend on them.

I agree, it's the same for women who hit their men. I would never hit a man I am with, or otherwise hurt his feelings by insulting him, and I do not condone women doing that either... that is not what you do to someone you love.

[Bloodeagle]

I agree, it's the same for women who hit their men. I would never hit a man I am with, or otherwise hurt his feelings by insulting him, and I do not condone women doing that either... that is not what you do to someone you love.

I've been hit a couple of times by an angry woman, but unless the woman is of equal size to her partner, or she is trying to maim or kill the guy, I don't think it is as bad as when a man hits a woman.
I was taught as a lad to never hit a woman, no matter what she does.

[Adalwolf]

I was taught the exact same thing at an early age.:D I followed that rule my entire life except for one incident when I was in senior kindergarten (5). Some girl on my bus tried to steal my marble collection, and I gave her a black eye.:D I don't feel bad at all since I was so young, but I still got suspended for a couple days. I am the only person I know who got kicked out of school in kindergarten, lol.

[Bloodeagle]

I was taught the exact same thing at an early age.:D I followed that rule my entire life except for one incident when I was in senior kindergarten (5). Some girl on my bus tried to steal my marble collection, and I gave her a black eye.:D I don't feel bad at all since I was so young, but I still got suspended for a couple days. I am the only person I know who got kicked out of school in kindergarten, lol.

I am almost certain that you received some gender specific training related to your ability to share, long term, with that girl on the bus. :p

[SwordoftheVistula]

Was always raised to never hit a woman, which I never did, even the stupid skinhead girl who once randomly started punching me at at party.

Used to yell at girlfriends when I was younger, don't really do that anymore.

Now, when I encounter adversity in a relationship, I just pack my bags and leave. I can't hit back, can't yell back, and I'm sure as hell not going to sit there and take it. Is this any better for society? By the former girlfriends I see now approaching or past the age 30 threshold and bemoaning their single status, maybe not.

[Debaser11]

I remember slapping my female cousin who is my age in the face one time at my grandmother's house around the age of four. I don't even remember what made me do it. The scolding I got from that incident by my mother and father (mostly my father though) is imprinted on my brain to this day.

I do not condone hitting women. That being said, there is far too much feminist non-sense out there that lauds a woman who would hit a man even if it's not always direct.

Think of this way:

A man cheats on his wife and gets his ass beat down. Many people would snicker and laugh and even cheer at the prospect. Just think of a daytime talk show where a woman gets up and tries to hit a man that has been disloyal to her. The audience reaction is generally positive with animal-like hooting as grounds for encouragement. I guess the assumption is that because a man is stronger than a woman, he can take it. And there is definitely some truth to that. The reason I object to it is not because of the physical wounds inflicted upon men by women in most cases, but because of the general tone that sets; it creates an unruly culture with overriding feminist overtones that are very destructive to not only men, but women in the long term (as can be witnessed today).

Of course, if a man inflicted the same amount of pain on a woman that a woman did on a man, there would be outrage. Admittedly, to an extent, the disparity in outrage almost feels somewhat justified. Men and women aren't equal. Men are supposed to be men. Women are supposed to be women. Again, the issue I take with it all is that there is no effort to critique women who engage in the same impulsive violence men would be burned at the stake for engaging in.

That being said, I find myself agreeing with what Wag is saying about men hitting women in spirit, if not practice. And I assume by "hit," he means backhand Bogart style the way a woman would do to a man without compunction today if the mood strikes her. Not brutally beat her. And in all honesty, some women need the equivalent of a good backhand perhaps in some other form just as the dominant culture all agrees that most men do.

As far as disciplining children who are out of line with spankings and the like, what's the problem? I got spanked regularly. The traumatic nature of it is exaggerated. There is a difference between being spanked and being beaten. There is a difference between slapping a child in the face for an unruly mouth to momentarily sting him and instill some emotional shame and beating them. Tender touchy liberal-minded people can't grasp this and thus we endure an increasing number of spoiled children.

[Grumpy Cat]

I've been hit a couple of times by an angry woman, but unless the woman is of equal size to her partner, or she is trying to maim or kill the guy, I don't think it is as bad as when a man hits a woman.
I was taught as a lad to never hit a woman, no matter what she does.

Self-defense is a completely different thing altogether.

I'm talking about hitting people when they "get out of line", since what is "out of line" is different to different people.

[Grumpy Cat]

Anyways, forgot to add to that, I think a woman who hits or abuses her man is trash, just as a man is who abuses his women.

And I come from the old school when it comes to relationships, a women should serve her man, as in cooking and stuff. I love to cook anyways. Domestic chores, too. However, it's definitely appreciated for the man if he helps out with that. Just cleaning up after yourself works, I think some men here are probably unwilling to do that. lol

However, men should NOT touch the laundry ever (unless it's just your own clothes then I don't care). lol. I don't like my nice white shirts turning grey or pink. haha. Or my nice wool sweater shrunk. But, please, clean the bathroom once in a while, especially after you have a big smelly crap. :p

Oh, and toilet seat... down.

I also hate it when men hog the remote. I don't mind watching guy shows, and I do enjoy a good hockey game, but if you're the type of guy who likes to channel surf during the commercials, it's on! Nothing pisses me off more, than when I'm watching a TV show with a guy, getting quite into it, commercial comes on, the guy decides to surf through the channels, and then when he finally gets back to the channel we were watching, the commercials are over and the show was back on for a few minutes so you miss parts. That's just infuriating!!!!! See, I know men just like the fights or explosions and stuff so can afford to miss dialogue parts of the show, but women need to get into the plot, and if we miss parts of it, we get confused - and annoying when we turn to you and ask "why are they fighting?" or "why did he plant a bomb under that car?" Women need to know why the explosions happen.

[Don]

If an animal attacks me or someone of my loved ones, my brain allows me not to gain access to the superior systems related with secondary traits of the identity of my target, as the genre of the attacker or race.
That is the ultimate example of equality and non-discrimination.

I haven't conflicts with my codes of honor after that, no matter if the attacker was black, teenager, mentally disturbed and a woman or my neighbour.

[SwordoftheVistula]

Of course, if a man inflicted the same amount of pain on a woman that a woman did on a man, there would be outrage. Admittedly, to an extent, the disparity in outrage almost feels somewhat justified. Men and women aren't equal. Men are supposed to be men. Women are supposed to be women. Again, the issue I take with it all is that there is no effort to critique women who engage in the same impulsive violence men would be burned at the stake for engaging in.

Physical stuff I can understand. It's more the disparity in concepts of 'emotional abuse' which I find absurd. Examples, found in either real world situations, watching discussions on websites, or seen in reality TV shows such as 'Cheaters':

Woman catches man cheating: man is 100% the bad guy

Man catches woman cheating: man is partially the bad guy for 'spying' on her.


Man suspects woman may be cheating on him, asks her to change her behavior: Man is insecure, needs to give woman more space.

Woman suspects man may be cheating on him, asks him to change his behavior: Man needs to 'respect her feelings' and change his behavior.


Man asks woman to spend less time with her friends, and more with him: Man is controlling, probably abusive.

Woman asks man to spend less time with his friends, and more with her: Man needs to 'grow up' and stop hanging around his buddies.


Woman throws drink on man in public: Man probably deserved it, woman cheered.

Man throws drink on woman in public: Man is terrible guy, should get his ass beat.


Woman considers destroying partner's personal property in order to control his behavior (example: Worlds of Warcraft CDs): almost universally encouraged to go ahead, told this is 'necessary'

Man considers destroying partner's personal property in order to control her behavio: almost universally labeled a psychopath, and told he should be locked up.


Woman destroys man's property after bad break-up: man deserves it

Man destroys woman's property after bad break-up: man is dangerous, abusive psychopath


Man stops dating woman, or rejects her advances, and she continues to seek him out: Man is cold, uncaring asshole

Woman stops dating man, or rejects his advances, and he continues to seek her out: Man is crazy, dangerous stalker


Woman throws fit while riding in man's car, man stops car and kicks her out: Man is abusive, should be arrested

Man throws fit while riding in woman's car, woman stops car and kicks him out: Man is abusive, should be arrested


Man becomes absorbed in daily tasks, woman cheats on man: man is at fault, basically forced her to do it

Woman becomes absorbed in daily tasks, man cheats on woman: man is doubly bad guy, for first letting her get absorbed in daily tasks, and then cheating on her


Wife becomes angry at husband, suddenly takes off to stay with parents, taking the kids with her: wife needs space, situation is husband's fault

Husband becomes angry at wife, suddenly takes off to stay with parents, taking the kids with him: kidnapping

[Debaser11]

Physical stuff I can understand. It's more the disparity in concepts of 'emotional abuse' which I find absurd. Examples, found in either real world situations, watching discussions on websites, or seen in reality TV shows such as 'Cheaters':

Woman catches man cheating: man is 100% the bad guy

Man catches woman cheating: man is partially the bad guy for 'spying' on her.

Totally. But still, there is physical stuff on that show. Again, it's not the pain these women can inflict but the fact that we condone such animalistic behavior from women. Can we as a society at least admit freely without being called "sexist" (as if that's a bad thing) that women are more emotional on the whole if we're not going to chastise women more for these types of fits?



Man suspects woman may be cheating on him, asks her to change her behavior: Man is insecure, needs to give woman more space.

Woman suspects man may be cheating on him, asks him to change his behavior: Man needs to 'respect her feelings' and change his behavior.


Man asks woman to spend less time with her friends, and more with him: Man is controlling, probably abusive.

Woman asks man to spend less time with his friends, and more with her: Man needs to 'grow up' and stop hanging around his buddies.

Very true. I think in each case, if the relationship is a marriage or heading that way, friends should justifiably be put on the backburner. All the marriages I've ever seen work, work that way. The whole "I'm hangin with the girls" or "I'm going out with my bros" thing really does need to be cut back a bit, especially during the first few years of marriage and while raising children. Now that my parents have finished raising us, my mother goes out more than she used to and I think that's fine. But the couples you often see on Cheaters are the ones who try to have their cake and eat it too. You can't be involved and live the single life.



Woman throws drink on man in public: Man probably deserved it, woman cheered.

Man throws drink on woman in public: Man is terrible guy, should get his ass beat.


Woman considers destroying partner's personal property in order to control his behavior (example: Worlds of Warcraft CDs): almost universally encouraged to go ahead, told this is 'necessary'

Man considers destroying partner's personal property in order to control her behavio: almost universally labeled a psychopath, and told he should be locked up.


Woman destroys man's property after bad break-up: man deserves it

Man destroys woman's property after bad break-up: man is dangerous, abusive psychopath


Man stops dating woman, or rejects her advances, and she continues to seek him out: Man is cold, uncaring asshole

Woman stops dating man, or rejects his advances, and he continues to seek her out: Man is crazy, dangerous stalker


Woman throws fit while riding in man's car, man stops car and kicks her out: Man is abusive, should be arrested

Man throws fit while riding in woman's car, woman stops car and kicks him out: Man is abusive, should be arrested


Man becomes absorbed in daily tasks, woman cheats on man: man is at fault, basically forced her to do it

Woman becomes absorbed in daily tasks, man cheats on woman: man is doubly bad guy, for first letting her get absorbed in daily tasks, and then cheating on her


Wife becomes angry at husband, suddenly takes off to stay with parents, taking the kids with her: wife needs space, situation is husband's fault

Husband becomes angry at wife, suddenly takes off to stay with parents, taking the kids with him: kidnapping

All very true. I'm the choir here. That's a good list, though. I think we had to choose between minding our business more as a society and protecting women more. What I mean to say is that before the 1960s, domestic disputes were more private. Of course, men often abused women because they could. Not ideal. But now we've gone the other way and given women all this power. And by that I mean any woman could get a man into deep legal crap by accusing him of something and even in the public's mind the guy is probably guilty even before being proven so. It's huge. And often the woman has little to fear if her story is proven bogus. Of course, fifty/sixty years ago, a woman justifiably complaining about her husband hitting her would largely be calmed down and driven back home and the whole thing would be written off as a simple domestic dispute (unless it seemed "extreme") that the law would try to stay out of if at all possible.

Neither paradigm is ideal. Each gender can exploit one of them. But the feminist one has lead to the degradation and possible destruction of our culture. The traditional one did not.

[Debaser11]

x64cy3Bcr98

[rhiannon]

I've been hit a couple of times by an angry woman, but unless the woman is of equal size to her partner, or she is trying to maim or kill the guy, I don't think it is as bad as when a man hits a woman.
I was taught as a lad to never hit a woman, no matter what she does.

Even women of equal size aren't going to be near as strong as most men. It's all in the upper body strength.

[iNird]

I've been hit a couple of times by an angry woman, but unless the woman is of equal size to her partner, or she is trying to maim or kill the guy, I don't think it is as bad as when a man hits a woman.
I was taught as a lad to never hit a woman, no matter what she does.

Some females they think they will never get hit. I've seen women scream in a guys face, slap him, kick him and the guy just stood there and took it. These women get the courage to do these things because they know it is socially unacceptable,in almost all circumstances, for a man to hit a woman.

Off topic and no I didn't read the OP.

:D

[derLowe]

It's not the same. Insults cut deep.

I'll admit, I was physically and emotionally abused by my mother (although physical was rare). Examples of physical abuse were hitting, choking, and dragging me down the hallway by my hair.

The insults were on a daily basis, several times a day. Insults, and mind games. My mother rarely called me by my real name. She would also tell me nobody liked me and things like that. These insults stick to me even 10 years after moving out. I have nightmares about the insults, not the hitting.

I see that we are in the same boat, so to speak. I was also emotionally and physically abused as a kid. I remember dreading coming home from school, it got to such a point that I studied extra after hours in the school library so I would not have to go home ( this did help my grades ).

No one ever chocked me or dragged be by my hair but my dad did used to beat me with rubber object, so they would not leave marks. One of the problems was I resisted my beatings which made them all the worse.

After I reached my 16th birth day my dad moved away to work and my life started to improve, that was 13 years ago.

[Grumpy Cat]

I see that we are in the same boat, so to speak. I was also emotionally and physically abused as a kid. I remember dreading coming home from school, it got to such a point that I studied extra after hours in the school library so I would not have to go home ( this did help my grades ).

No one ever chocked me or dragged be by my hair but my dad did used to beat me with rubber object, so they would not leave marks. One of the problems was I resisted my beatings which made them all the worse.

After I reached my 16th birth day my dad moved away to work and my life started to improve, that was 13 years ago.

I hear you. I had to move out to get away from it, but it still happens. I told my mother a month ago she is not allowed to visit me anymore. The worst is that she will insult me, but say first "I am only saying this because I love you and nobody else will say this to you but...". That pisses me off greatly, it's like a psychological game. I didn't get much of a break from it at school, either. I was bullied by a group of wiggers at my school. Getting a job was the game changer. And yeah, I am a workoholic.

Anyways, I alluded to the cat in a previous post. If you want to know what my mother did to the cat: left it outside in the cold, and once gave it Valium and almost killed it.

[Supreme American]

No idea and I don't care to know. She was like that with my sister and also my grandmother (her mother) when she lived with us. She used to call my father stupid too.

Oh yeah, and she also wasn't even that nice to the cat, either.

As long as you understand that was something to do with something within HER and not you, your siblings, or your cat.

[Supreme American]

Was always raised to never hit a woman, which I never did, even the stupid skinhead girl who once randomly started punching me at at party.

Used to yell at girlfriends when I was younger, don't really do that anymore.

Now, when I encounter adversity in a relationship, I just pack my bags and leave. I can't hit back, can't yell back, and I'm sure as hell not going to sit there and take it. Is this any better for society? By the former girlfriends I see now approaching or past the age 30 threshold and bemoaning their single status, maybe not.

There are always ways to handle adversity. Hitting and insulting and whatnot is obviously out of bounds, and it's good on you to avoid those. If its that bad, yeah, just go. Don't take that from anyone.

[Grumpy Cat]

As long as you understand that was something to do with something within HER and not you, your siblings, or your cat.

She has a short temper and overreacts. I had to hide things from her because I was afraid of reaction (then hiding made it worse). She once beat me, insulted me for 45 minutes, and then kicked me out of the house and sent me to a shelter because I spilled blueberry juice.

My father came and picked me up.

One of my teachers called child services one time too after I walked into her class with a black eye, even after me begging her not to call. I ended up living with her relatives, a Dutch immigrant family. It was good but kind of sucked at the same time because I cannot speak Dutch.

My mother was fine as long as she wasn't pissed off, though. However, the slightest thing could piss her off. Even my liking music she didn't like pissed her off.

And I forget what the cat did. Knocked over a Christmas ornament or something. Anyways, she has a dog now, and I have threatened to take the dog because she was talking about taking it to the vet and putting it down, even though it is perfectly healthy, just doesn't behave up to her standards.

The dog is a pug, it does this:

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Considering the number of videos on YouTube of pugs doing this, you could conclude it's normal pug behaviour. If you don't like it, don't get a pug.

[derLowe]

I hear you. I had to move out to get away from it, but it still happens. I told my mother a month ago she is not allowed to visit me anymore. The worst is that she will insult me, but say first "I am only saying this because I love you and nobody else will say this to you but...". That pisses me off greatly, it's like a psychological game. I didn't get much of a break from it at school, either. I was bullied by a group of wiggers at my school. Getting a job was the game changer. And yeah, I am a workoholic.

Anyways, I alluded to the cat in a previous post. If you want to know what my mother did to the cat: left it outside in the cold, and once gave it Valium and almost killed it.

Yeah, I used to get those as well "I only say this because I love you ... ". The other favorite of mine is to "So have any of your plans/projects/jobs/meetings succeeded this month..... ". insinuating I am a failure.

I figured long ago that they conditioned me to play their psychological games since birth. It was hard to accept at first because we are always taught to love our parents but it was true, they were teaching me how to respond to their mind games in their favor, it is a kind of control mechanism for when I grew up and they could not control me by force.

Sorry to hear about your school experience, kids tend to be like animals they sniff out weakness and attack. In my school they always seem to bully the kind from troubled back grounds, the funny thing was they bullies always seemed to come from a troubled background as well.

Yeah, my families dogs did not fare better, regular beatings than patting than beating than giving treats sometimes all in one hour. They were never taken to the vet even when half dead. Poor dogs did not know what to do with them selves.

I used to be a workaholic then one day some thing inside me changed. I realized that this overworking is just some expression of the hate my parents had for me, I was trying to deny life by substituting it with work. After that day I rebalanced my life, so I could finally live my life for my self.