Should parents allow their kids to drink once before sending them off to college?

[Sikeliot]

Another potentially controversial subject and for the record, I have never even tasted alcohol but I saw an article on this today and thought I should ask you guys.

Some kids never even have tasted alcohol before going off to college.. and as we all know, the taste of alcohol is such that some people find it strong and unbearable if they're not used to it. Some people, also cannot hold their alcohol as well as others can.. and for someone who has never drank alcohol, they don't know their limits.

In college many kids will be faced with situations where according to them and/or their peers, it will make them look uncool and like a complete prude if they refuse to drink at all. Some can handle peer pressure well, some cannot. But I can imagine it's very embarrassing to have your first drink at a college party and spit it out or cringe because you can't even swallow it let alone actually finish one drink..

But so as to make these types of situations less awkward, should a parent allow their child to somewhat explore these areas i.e. taste different types of alcohol and figure out their limits, so as to learn HOW to drink responsibly should they choose to, and so they can handle alcohol and its tastes and effects?

[Oreka Bailoak]

should a parent allow their child to somewhat explore these areas i.e. taste different types of alcohol and figure out their limits, so as to learn HOW to drink responsibly should they choose to, and so they can handle alcohol and its tastes and effects?

Yes. My first day at college I went to a party and drank for the first time and I threw up everywhere and it was really embarrassing because I didn't know my limit. This really isn't that big of a deal though- I learned my lesson (until my 3rd or 4th party when I tried everclear for the first time- that's an entirely different lesson to learn about personal limits). However, teaching kids responsible morals and responsible behavior is far more important than letting them try alcohol.

I think parents should treat alcohol as acceptable for kids about over the age of 16-17 as long as they teach them moderation and responsibility when drinking only on rare occasions.

What is more important is parents having a talk with their kids about the purpose of dating, avoiding bad groups of people and focusing on school work.

One of my friends parents had a talk to his son about the importance of finding a high quality, good moral, good looking fiancée in college. I really wish my parents had that conversation with me. My goals weren't that well placed until senior year- and now college is over and I'm single.......:(

[Sikeliot]

All very good points. Thank you :)

[Eldritch]

Why not, but how about we try and shift the very focus of college studies, from being a simple euphemism for binge drinking and lousy sex, towards actual studying?

[Sikeliot]

I think kids should just be prepared for everything that will come their way; how to say no to peer pressure but assuming they can't, knowing their limits.

But of course, the primary emphasis should be on schoolwork and it's unfortunate that so many people act like college is just about crazy partying and promiscuous sex.

[Wyn]

Some kids never even have tasted alcohol before going off to college..

Well, Europe and America are very different societies! I think most people here will have tasted alcohol (light stuff, e.g. beer, wine etc.) by the time they're 12 or 13 years old, if not sooner (e.g. small amounts of wine with dinner starting at a very young age, in certain countries).

It isn't really an issue where I'm from. I seem to remember being around 12 years old and seeing people of a similar age drinking bottles of beer at get-togethers and so on.

[Wanderlust]

It really depends on the child's personality but I think that they should allow them just to check the waters.They shouldn't be completely opposite because the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest..

[Curtis24]

Another potentially controversial subject and for the record, I have never even tasted alcohol but I saw an article on this today and thought I should ask you guys.

Some kids never even have tasted alcohol before going off to college.. and as we all know, the taste of alcohol is such that some people find it strong and unbearable if they're not used to it. Some people, also cannot hold their alcohol as well as others can.. and for someone who has never drank alcohol, they don't know their limits.

In college many kids will be faced with situations where according to them and/or their peers, it will make them look uncool and like a complete prude if they refuse to drink at all. Some can handle peer pressure well, some cannot. But I can imagine it's very embarrassing to have your first drink at a college party and spit it out or cringe because you can't even swallow it let alone actually finish one drink..

But so as to make these types of situations less awkward, should a parent allow their child to somewhat explore these areas i.e. taste different types of alcohol and figure out their limits, so as to learn HOW to drink responsibly should they choose to, and so they can handle alcohol and its tastes and effects?

I don't think it matters, since I believe that one's ability to drink responsibly or not is determined by genetics...

[Hess]

why not? The reason why American teenagers struggle with alcohol in the first place is because the 21 years law produces the "forbidden fruit effect", whereas teenagers who live in homes where alcohol isn't demonized have a more realistic, reasonable view of it. In some European countries, it's also part of the culture (Wine in France, Beer in Germany, Vodka in Russia and Finland, etc).

Europeans drink, and most don't see it as a big deal- Americans should get with the program. alcohol prohibition occurs in middle eastern countries and is a very Semitic, oriental tradition (made popular by Christianity, a semitic religion)

[Debaser11]

Well, you're not going to stop a child you've raised for eighteen years from behaving how they've been conditioned to behave.

Ad hoc parenting doesn't work.

That's why when parents protest along the lines of "I told him not to drink" or "I told him not to have sex" or whatever, it rings hollow even if one still sympathizes with the parent's anguish.

Children aren't computers. You don't give them isolated commands. You instill a value system within them that they use to formulate healthy decisions within a variety of different situations. They have to be taught to make sound judgement for themselves. I mean, this is common sense, but it seems to bear repeating.

At any rate, my parents never had to tell me what to do about alcohol because how they felt about it was implied by virtue of the person they raised me to be.

My attitude was similiar to their attitude:

There is nothing wrong with fun so long as you don't turn it into a vice.

I have no aversion to alcohol but have huge issues with what goes along with it at college parties.

Yet, all anyone can focus on is "the drinking." Yet, it does not follow by law that drinking has to turn into recklessness and degeneracy.

[Oreka Bailoak]

I don't think it matters, since I believe that one's ability to drink responsibly or not is determined by genetics...

LOL

"Son you're either a natural born drinker (alcoholic) or you're not. When you get to that party for the first time- figure out which you are."

^I don't think it works like that. It's important to have kids know how to drink responsibly so they don't lose control of themselves at a party. I've seen responsible people who were newbies at drinking passed out in hallways, on the floor and in public places like bathrooms and that is just not safe behavior. It's usually first year freshmen. After they get more experience stuff like that doesn't happen.

[The Lawspeaker]

I'd much rather teach my kids to drink then have some of their classmates do it for me. At least I will teach them to drink responsibly and to respect the brewer's masterpiece.


I don't want my children to end up like this:

http://vakantie.paginablog.nl/vakantie/dronken-britten.jpg

http://voccy.com/webpics/dronken_jongeren_5.jpg

Which will happen if they will learn it from their peers.

[Debaser11]

I voted "yes."

[Curtis24]

LOL

"Son you're either a natural born drinker (alcoholic) or you're not. When you get to that party for the first time- figure out which you are."

^I don't think it works like that. It's important to have kids know how to drink responsibly so they don't lose control of themselves at a party. I've seen responsible people who were newbies at drinking passed out in hallways, on the floor and in public places like bathrooms and that is just not safe behavior. It's usually first year freshmen. After they get more experience stuff like that doesn't happen.

Yes, I meant long-term drinking abuse though. Alcoholism is genetic, but yeah, whether or not you abuse alcohol at a party can be contingent on how you were raised etc.

I think the problem with college binge-drinking has more to do with the environment than anything else. Why do we have a society where children want to binge drink and have promiscuous sex with each other?

[poiuytrewq0987]

Just "sample" alcohol? For goodness's sake... America is a prude country with crude traditions. I started drinking alcoholic beverages when I was 15 years old and I'm not even close to being an alcoholic.

[Oreka Bailoak]

Why do we have a society where children want to binge drink and have promiscuous sex with each other?

First of all I think those two subjects are entirely different and unrelated. Me and plenty of my friends binge drink all the time without any "promiscuous sex" at all. For me the two have never and will never be connected.

I just binge drink for special occasions like college graduations, birthday parties or Halloween. I can completely control myself and it's fun hanging around my friends. I really don't think binge drinking is bad, especially, if done rarely like 6-8 times a year.

Binge drinking to the point when you have memory loss is bad and I stop way before that point.

[Adalwolf]

Well, Europe and America are very different societies! I think most people here will have tasted alcohol (light stuff, e.g. beer, wine etc.) by the time they're 12 or 13 years old, if not sooner (e.g. small amounts of wine with dinner starting at a very young age, in certain countries).

It isn't really an issue where I'm from. I seem to remember being around 12 years old and seeing people of a similar age drinking bottles of beer at get-togethers and so on.

Yeah I've noticed this as well. My mother's sister married an Italian guy, and wine with dinner is a daily trend. Their kids were around 7-10, and would regularly enjoy a glass of red wine with spaghetti.

Also, Isn't it true that one can legally buy beer in Germany when you're merely 16?

[Winterwolf]

Also, Isn't it true that one can legally buy beer in Germany when you're merely 16?

Yes, cou can consume beer and wine with 16 in Germany. The hard stuff, like booze, is legal with 18.

[Curtis24]

First of all I think those two subjects are entirely different and unrelated. Me and plenty of my friends binge drink all the time without any "promiscuous sex" at all. For me the two have never and will never be connected.

I just binge drink for special occasions like college graduations, birthday parties or Halloween. I can completely control myself and it's fun hanging around my friends. I really don't think binge drinking is bad, especially, if done rarely like 6-8 times a year.

Binge drinking to the point when you have memory loss is bad and I stop way before that point.

Well, I think the two absolutely are connected, but whatever. As it is, I actually have drank to the point of memory loss unfortunately, which somewhat colors my views on the matter.

[Monolith]

We Balkanoids teach our children to drink rakija while they're young so they can drink more when they get to college.

[Winterwolf]

I also think that keeping your teenager kids away from alcohol is a silly attempt and will end up bad for they will learn from their peers.

It's better to provide and example and teach them social and responsible drinking.
Nevertheless they will make some experiences with too much alcohol consume in their youth. Most people learn from such experiences.

You also can't prevent teenagers from trying themselves out. I remember overly sheltered mates of my teenager times, which were the ones who usually went to the extremes as soon as they escaped their supervising parents, next to those with problems at home, whose parents didn't care at all.




Also, Isn't it true that one can legally buy beer in Germany when you're merely 16?

We don't have more alcohol addicts in Europe than in the US, just because we're more relaxed on that topic.
Beer and wine, which are legal at the age of 16 over here, by the way aren't problematic, because you have to develop a taste for it.

Alcopops are dangerous for teenagers, because these consist out of hard alcohol with lots of sugar and teenagers love those for the sweet soda like taste, but therefore they underestimate the effect.

[Adalwolf]

I also think that keeping your teenager kids away from alcohol is a silly attempt and will end up bad for they will learn from their peers.

I agree, it is better to help recognize and establish their limits in the homestead. But with a more relaxed attitude could also bare the consequence of seeing the activity as more than just an occasional splurge...



We don't have more alcohol addicts in Europe than in the US, just because we're more relaxed on that topic.
Beer and wine, which are legal at the age of 16 over here, by the way aren't problematic, because you have to develop a taste for it.

Looking at it from another perspective, it might actually cut down on teen alcoholism if it is generally more socially acceptable. Many teenagers here drink for fun of course, but one cannot exclude the fact that a rebellious attitude can enhance the whole situation.


Alcopops are dangerous for teenagers, because these consist out of hard alcohol with lots of sugar and teenagers love those for the sweet soda like taste, but therefore they underestimate the effect.

Yeah, they make energy drinks with alcohol in them now which have the potential to be dangerous, too. That much caffeine, chemicals, mixed in with a decent level of alcohol can really alter a persons consciousness.

[Loddfafner]

I was trained to drink wine at a young age but then I lived in France/frogland. All that Alsatian Riesling did not stop me from growing up to be a Jameson-injecting alcoholic.

[Psychonaut]

I can't speak for any other American ethnic groups, but table wine was a not an irregular part of family dinners among my relatives.

[Loki]

... the forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest..

Yes it does ;)

[Loki]

I can't speak for any other American ethnic groups, but table wine was a not an irregular part of family dinners among my relatives.

You come from a Catholic culture, though. I think it is different for traditional Protestant Americans.

[Psychonaut]

You come from a Catholic culture, though. I think it is different for traditional Protestant Americans.

Yeah, most of our neighbors in NW Florida were the super freaky (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_james) kinds of Southern Baptists (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retard) who never touched alcohol (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=social%20retardation).

[Dario Argento]

I'm very good at drinking. Especially in comparision with neighboring countries Amerindians or predominantly Amerindian mestizos who only drink 3 beers and start acting reckless, screaming, rage attacks, etc. One I, 2 friends and 2 cousins drank two thousand beers with lots of cocaine staying awake over the course of various days while on vacations in Brazil.

[Raskolnikov]

I like how 'college' is the arbitrary growing up period, esp. for people who have no interest in education.

[Adalwolf]

I'm very good at drinking. Especially in comparision with neighboring countries Amerindians or predominantly Amerindian mestizos who only drink 3 beers and start acting reckless, screaming, rage attacks

Apparently the mongoloids tendency to not handle alcohol well, is from a sort of genetic deficiency.

There is a joke in my area though... warning relatively new drinkers to be cautious with whiskey, ''or else you will start behaving like an Indian''. :D

Behaving like an Indian = losing all self control, getting rowdy, which almost inevitably leads to stupid fights.

[Boudica]

When it comes down to it, the kid is going to do what they want in college, I know a guy who had a mother that let him drink before college and he is now an alcoholic, and I know a guy that had the same opportunities that doesn't care to go any where near alcohol. Results will vary according to the person.

[Bloodeagle]

This was never an issue in my family.
Every hunting and fishing trip after about the age of 15, was celebrated each night, by the campfire with Wild Turkey and beer. By the time I had reached the age of 21, much of the novelty of alcohol had already past.

[Arne]

Another potentially controversial subject and for the record, I have never even tasted alcohol but I saw an article on this today and thought I should ask you guys.

Some kids never even have tasted alcohol before going off to college.. and as we all know, the taste of alcohol is such that some people find it strong and unbearable if they're not used to it. Some people, also cannot hold their alcohol as well as others can.. and for someone who has never drank alcohol, they don't know their limits.

In college many kids will be faced with situations where according to them and/or their peers, it will make them look uncool and like a complete prude if they refuse to drink at all. Some can handle peer pressure well, some cannot. But I can imagine it's very embarrassing to have your first drink at a college party and spit it out or cringe because you can't even swallow it let alone actually finish one drink..

But so as to make these types of situations less awkward, should a parent allow their child to somewhat explore these areas i.e. taste different types of alcohol and figure out their limits, so as to learn HOW to drink responsibly should they choose to, and so they can handle alcohol and its tastes and effects?

They shouldn´t buy the beer for their kids.
Alcohol makes people get sick.
I already get sick after 2-3 beers.

Parents even shouldn´t do alcohol in the best way.

Kids here "somehow" get their Alcohol through older people that they know.

[Bloodeagle]

Kids here "somehow" get their Alcohol through older people that they know.

We would hang out and ask random strangers to buy alcohol for us. It worked 90% of the time, every time, especially near the queer bar. :D

[Arne]

We would hang out and ask random strangers to buy alcohol for us. It worked 90% of the time, every time, especially near the queer bar. :D
Random Strangers wouldn´t help here.
The Culture is different, depends on how large the surrounding area is.
Cities can be very liberal here.

[Comte Arnau]

Frankly, I can't imagine a teen here that hasn't drunk alcohol before going to college.

[Arne]

Frankly, I can't imagine a teen here that hasn't drunk alcohol before going to college.

Yeah, every teen here gets drunk very early with eleven years

[Blossom]

Havent tasted alcohol till my 18. Parents never said ''no'' to me..its just because I didnt have that needy alcohol feeling, it was just like another liquid to me, and I prefered water..or just fruit juices. I still prefer fruit juices, but after some college parties, just small ones (I'm not a party animal), I tasted some easy drinks, cocktails and stuff and it was like OK...nice taste and all. Never had alcohol after...just beers.

So nowadays, I'm fully loyal to beers, at some barbeque, dinner, lunch or whenever I want to.

I appreciate that my parents never banned me from anything like smoke, alcohol or even drugs. They just told me how things are, educated me in the way I'd choose my own life...and I feel pretty thankful to them because I learnt how to keep it healthy and pretty natural. Tried to smoke once (ofc with friends) but didnt like it, so there I had my first cigarette and last one. About drugs, you all know what's my opinion. :D

But yes, I think banning your kids from the first time it will just increase their curiosity, their desire to turn all rebelious and make you see they wont listen to their daddy or mommy no more, so they'll do just opposite (or not, pretty depends on the education). Desire to get involved into bad bad things, teens got, making ourself feeling pretty important and special.

Anyway, after 18 years old, I wouldnt ban my offspring. But I'd look after them, of course, as every parent would. :) But not ban. They'd need to choose their own way to success, but I'd make it sure to provide them a brilliant education, school or homeschooling, whatever.

[Adalwolf]

Alcohol makes people get sick.
I already get sick after 2-3 beers.

And you have the veracity to identify as a German!

[The Lawspeaker]

I already get sick after 2-3 beers.


Ben jij wel een echte Duitser ? ;)

[Heretik]

Why not, but how about we try and shift the very focus of college studies, from being a simple euphemism for binge drinking and lousy sex, towards actual studying?

What's wrong with occasional lousy sex? :dunno: :ranger:

[Bobby Martnen]

Alcohol tastes like hand sanitizer