Domination, submission and equality...

[Bridie]

Regarding romantic relationships (not friendships) do you generally speaking like to dominate, be dominated or achieve a more even power distribution? Or maybe its too complex for you to say it so simply?

[Aces High]

As far as cooking,cleaning,housework etc...i let myself be dominated by my wife,she has full domestic control.

[Bridie]

:D

[SwordoftheVistula]

When it comes right down to it, I'm of the opinion that a ship can't have 2 captains.

Mainly though, I believe in a division of powers, depending on individual expertise and desires, which in a normal relationship fall roughly along traditional gender lines. For example, all women I have dated prefer me to to do the driving, even when they are the car owners. They prefer to handle things like planning social events, cleaning, cooking & meal planning/preparation, general tidiness, and interior decorating plans. I end up with the 'nuts & bolts' of how to do interior home remodeling & repairs, construction of habitats for pets, intimidating black, mexican & homeless/junkie/douchebag etc people away, dealing with argumentative people, and carrying all things which weigh more than 20 lbs or so.

[la bombe]

I would prefer a more equal distribution of power, based on each person's individual interests and personality.

I am fairly traditional when it comes to relationships, but re: certain traditional gender roles, it would just never work. For instance, I'm a slob and I hate cleaning and I'm good at some things that are considered 'masculine'. I wouldn't want anyone to stop me from pursuing those things because it didn't fit into their idea of what a male/female relationship should be like. I don't like weak-willed men, but I also wouldn't want to be dominated by someone when I knew I was more knowledgeable or capable than them regarding certain issues.

So basically it just depends on the person I'm interested in and how we mesh together.

[Bridie]

I like to be dominated, but only if the man is 100% worthy, which is a very, very rare thing. I've only ever met one in my life that is.

[Breedingvariety]

I want to dominate in some respects and I want to be dominated in other respects. But overall, I would say I want to dominate.

[Boudica]

In a relationship I think that both people should have equal power, sometimes if it is not this way one of the people who is 'dominating' soaks in the power a bit too much and becomes overly controlling and possessive to a scary point.

[Bloodeagle]

I am very domineering and competitive by nature, but I have had bad luck in relationships, acting this way. In fact I don't really like being around submissive women. I require a strong willed woman that can reign me in from time to time. So equal is good for me.

We have no division of labor in my house. I will do the dishes, when needed and I can expect her to climb a ladder or stack wood, when needed, although their is a certain amount of bitching on both of our parts when we are forced to do so. :)

[Agrippa]

I want to dominate in some respects and I want to be dominated in other respects. But overall, I would say I want to dominate.

I think the same way. There are different aspects of and respects in this matter, but in general I want to dominate.

That doesn't mean I'm not ready to make compromises or want to dominate everything, but in general, I want to be in charge in the important matters and would never like to be in a subdominant position, unless things being highly balanced out otherwise and even then I would still prefer being in charge and would work on it...

Funnily this goes hand in hand with the fact that I don't like quarrels and avoid it.

If the woman would be equal or even dominant, the problem is that I have a bullhead in personal and other matters, so if the woman would always fight and make up quarrels, this would escalate into further conflicts.

To put it simple, if the woman is dominant it doesn't work, because it will end in constant quarrels and escalations.

This means I want to dominate because I know this is the kind of relationship which works for me, since if the woman is too dominant herself, it won't work on the longer run, since she will not give in and I won't in areas important to me neither...

[poiuytrewq0987]

Such thing doesn't really matter to me too much.

[mymy]

I think i'm rather submissive by nature and I don't really like to make decisions, especially not to make them alone, i'm also quiet. I will maybe show desire to be dominant in some things, but in general i don't want it. But I won't let just any men to dominate me. I think i will never be able to be in a relation with a man who constantly telling me that my place is in kitchen and that showing his macho tendencies so open. Not that i hate kitchen, actually I love cooking and taking care of a house, but if someone insist that i need to do it because i'm a woman, I won't be able to stand it and things will finish in arguing. I like to be dominated, but only by right person and on right way. I don't know if it's possible to find.

[Bridie]

I like to be dominated, but only by right person and on right way. I don't know if it's possible to find.I think the same as you and I've managed to find someone that fits the bill. :p It is possible to find. :)

[larali]

This was an issue that came up in our marriage.

My husband decided to get religious a couple of years ago. (I am a secular "Christian" or agnostic.) When hubs does something he doesn't do it halfway. So this Bible verse about men being "the ruler of the household" or whatever came up. I am no feminist but hell if I'm going to let him think I am going to be his slave. It was the closest we have ever come to divorce. Since then we've moved past that but it's still a sore spot.

I believe in each person helping the other, serving out of love, not out of duty, but also pulling your own weight in the relationship. He's naturally dominant to me and I'm happy to let him lead, but it's not that way in all relationships. My mom was quite dominant to my dad, and it worked out fine for them.

[Sabinae]

Well, I think overall, it would be ideal to be dominated. I would like that, if done in the proper way, and of course, the right person will know how to. :)

I dislike arguments, I stay away from them, and I find quarrels as being a source of bitterness, that shouldn't be there between people who care for each other, and who plan future together.

I do have some aspects I might want to be in charge of... But I can compromise depending on the other's needs, or expectations. I look for harmony and comfort, and I would love to make the other person "feel at home" with me. :)

[_______]

i am the leader, he is the noble labourer

[Hevneren]

Given my stubborn and prideful nature and natural dislike for being told what to think, say, do, how to dress or act, I probably wouldn't fit into a relationship with a very domineering woman. That being said, being that I'm rather stubborn and don't like to be lectured and told what to do or say, I would be careful to do that to someone else. In my opinion, you can be strong without dominating others, just as you can be weak while dominating others.

I don't see it as my business to dominate anyone, even if they described themselves as submissive. I think there's far too few independent thinkers and "rebels" in this world as it is, and I'd rather not keep another person from being one of those independent thinkers rebelling against dogmas.

This all being said, I think that I probably do have a dominant streak, given my stubbornness and pride in particular, but I would say that I also have a submissive streak. I think that these labels, however, work better within the confounds of the bedroom than in day-to-day interactions, and as humans I think we are more complex than what these diametrical comparisons would suggest.