Electronic God-Man
03-30-2009, 05:06 PM
Hello. My name is Kyle. I hope I have put this in the correct section of your forum. "Seuthanan" had written out a list of instructions to be carried out at the time of his death (mostly detailing how he wants his body to be prepared and ritually consumed). This forum's web address was included along with his password and a note that said "these people should know, too."
The man you know as "Seuthanan" was pronounced dead at approximately 9:34 AM this morning in North Philadelphia. As you may know, Philadelphia is a very dangerous place to live. I spoke to Seuthanan shortly before he left his apartment this morning. He informed me that he was going to pick up a couple of 40s at the Korean-owned "Food-Way" on the corner before he went to class (Don't ask. This was regular routine.). That was the last time I ever spoke to him. From the information I have been able to get from the police based on the store's security cameras and eye-witness reports I have been able to put together a picture of what happened. "Seuthanan" was paying for two Hurricane malt liquor bottles when three African-American males entered the store and said something like "This be a motherf*ckin' hold-up, foos!" Seuthanan, being the man he was, promptly dropped both Hurricanes which shattered on the floor. As he stood there crying in utter terror, the Korean behind the counter started yelling unintelligible gook-speak. All three "men" opened fire. Unfortunately, unlike the Korean, Seuthanan was not protected on three sides by bullet-proof glass. He must have been shot atleast nine times before he finally hit the floor. Seeing how botched their robbery had become, the porch monkeys ran for the door. One, however, slipped on the spilled malt liquor and by all accounts "crushed his larynx."
A quick word about Seuthanan. He was alright. Nothing too special though. Below average intelligence, too. Come to think of it, I'm pretty busy this week and I might not even go to the funeral. I'm sure his Mom will miss him. He had a couple of Beagles, but I think that as long as they are kept well-fed they won't lose any sleep. Our "Order" might be in disarray for some time now, but I bet we'll find someone else to call Bingo on Wednesday nights at the retirement home.
I'm not sure that this is the way that Seuthanan would have liked to have gone out. It's rather embarrassing actually. To put it bluntly, Valhalla won't be getting another real warrior here.
There is a section here on his instructions where Seuthanan lists some people and some things of his that he would like them to have. One part is labelled "The Apricity".
To Loddfafner: "Contrary to what some may like to believe we are not the same person with two accounts here. Be sure to post. Maybe that will end the rumors. How could you still be posting if I am dead and we are the same person? How deep does this conspiracy go!?!? Also, I have those TYR cd's for you."
To Ulf: "The Deitsche Widderschtond-Bewegung does not die with me. Go to my house. There you will find an AK-47, a plow, a stick of butter, a gallon of fresh milk, and a 30 case of Yuengling. Use them wisely."
To Psychonaut: "I'm giving you my entire collection of vinyl records. I keep a stash of killer weed taped underneath my record player. Be sure to get it."
To Veritas Aequitas: ...This one I might just try to send to you privately. It appears to be some sort of homo love letter. It gets pretty graphic. I'll be on Seuthanan's account checking in from time to time, send me a message.
Thank you.
*There is also a note here requesting that I embed this Youtube video. It's a bit too sappy for my tastes and I would have chosen something better, but these were his wishes.
LzS-vPzbLJ0
It seems a man cannot even get his final wishes! "Embedding disabled by request"...follow the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNre5neZ6QI
The man you know as "Seuthanan" was pronounced dead at approximately 9:34 AM this morning in North Philadelphia. As you may know, Philadelphia is a very dangerous place to live. I spoke to Seuthanan shortly before he left his apartment this morning. He informed me that he was going to pick up a couple of 40s at the Korean-owned "Food-Way" on the corner before he went to class (Don't ask. This was regular routine.). That was the last time I ever spoke to him. From the information I have been able to get from the police based on the store's security cameras and eye-witness reports I have been able to put together a picture of what happened. "Seuthanan" was paying for two Hurricane malt liquor bottles when three African-American males entered the store and said something like "This be a motherf*ckin' hold-up, foos!" Seuthanan, being the man he was, promptly dropped both Hurricanes which shattered on the floor. As he stood there crying in utter terror, the Korean behind the counter started yelling unintelligible gook-speak. All three "men" opened fire. Unfortunately, unlike the Korean, Seuthanan was not protected on three sides by bullet-proof glass. He must have been shot atleast nine times before he finally hit the floor. Seeing how botched their robbery had become, the porch monkeys ran for the door. One, however, slipped on the spilled malt liquor and by all accounts "crushed his larynx."
A quick word about Seuthanan. He was alright. Nothing too special though. Below average intelligence, too. Come to think of it, I'm pretty busy this week and I might not even go to the funeral. I'm sure his Mom will miss him. He had a couple of Beagles, but I think that as long as they are kept well-fed they won't lose any sleep. Our "Order" might be in disarray for some time now, but I bet we'll find someone else to call Bingo on Wednesday nights at the retirement home.
I'm not sure that this is the way that Seuthanan would have liked to have gone out. It's rather embarrassing actually. To put it bluntly, Valhalla won't be getting another real warrior here.
There is a section here on his instructions where Seuthanan lists some people and some things of his that he would like them to have. One part is labelled "The Apricity".
To Loddfafner: "Contrary to what some may like to believe we are not the same person with two accounts here. Be sure to post. Maybe that will end the rumors. How could you still be posting if I am dead and we are the same person? How deep does this conspiracy go!?!? Also, I have those TYR cd's for you."
To Ulf: "The Deitsche Widderschtond-Bewegung does not die with me. Go to my house. There you will find an AK-47, a plow, a stick of butter, a gallon of fresh milk, and a 30 case of Yuengling. Use them wisely."
To Psychonaut: "I'm giving you my entire collection of vinyl records. I keep a stash of killer weed taped underneath my record player. Be sure to get it."
To Veritas Aequitas: ...This one I might just try to send to you privately. It appears to be some sort of homo love letter. It gets pretty graphic. I'll be on Seuthanan's account checking in from time to time, send me a message.
Thank you.
*There is also a note here requesting that I embed this Youtube video. It's a bit too sappy for my tastes and I would have chosen something better, but these were his wishes.
LzS-vPzbLJ0
It seems a man cannot even get his final wishes! "Embedding disabled by request"...follow the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNre5neZ6QI