Opinions on housewives ?

[Breathe]

I live here in USA and my cousin is a homemaker/housewife. She tells me that people often make rude comments to her. For example, some people call her stuff like lazy, useless, has no ambitions etc.

It’s so sad how society looks down on women who want to primarily focus on their children rather than money/career here in USA. What do Europeans think of women who choose to be housewives/homemakers?

[Getae]

I live here in USA and my cousin is a homemaker/housewife. She tells me that people often make rude comments to her. For example, some people call her stuff like lazy, useless, has no ambitions etc.

It’s so sad how society looks down on women who want to primarily focus on their children rather than money/career here in USA. What do Europeans think of women who choose to be housewives/homemakers?

Housewives can spend more time with the family taking care of their kids, raising and feeding them properly which should be a priority for any good mother. Marriages that last are often those where the woman is a housewife.

Women who work cannot provide the same care to their kids. They also rob their husband of their time too by giving time they could spend together to the employer. With both parents working you have more of a business partner relationship rather than a subservient woman and dominant man. (In most cases)

[sean]

I live here in USA and my cousin is a homemaker/housewife. She tells me that people often make rude comments to her. For example, some people call her stuff like lazy, useless, has no ambitions etc. It’s so sad how society looks down on women who want to primarily focus on their children rather than money/career here in USA. What do Europeans think of women who choose to be housewives/homemakers?

Well, studies have shown that women are happier as housewives, why would they want to work when they can just fanny about at home all day where the hardest thing you have to do is go shopping.

"Housewife" is the easiest job in the world and you are on the same level as welfare-getters. A typical housewife that just cooks and cleans is very different to a housewife in the golden days.

A typical housewife 100+ years ago would have spent the majority of her time cleaning the house and preparing the food (domestic chores). Nowadays, you can keep a house clean within 30 minutes-1 hour's work a day and whip a meal up in under an hour. It's absurd to think that she'll spend the rest of her day (8 hours+) overseeing the kids forever.

However, when you're taking care of children, you have constant responsibilities throughout the day. Once you have children, they need to be taken to and from school, they should have at least one hour of dedicated parenting for homework every evening along with 1-2 evening activities per week. Each child.

Although I like traditional women, the standards should be a bit higher than domestic chores. Like accounts, co-director, or some shit of a company. At the very least going out her way to be genuinely productive (like legit helping your husband get ahead in his career or being the motivational speaker in the house, hobbies, keeping fit, etc. that would be ideal).

Past the first four years of a child's life, there's not an awful lot of point to stay at home mums (given the amount of labour saving devices the modern house has). Household appliances do most of your work for you now.

In this era, I suspect a lot of that downtime will be spent wasting your husband's money shopping online and flirting with other men through social media, or posting selfies on an anthroboard lel.

Child birth makes you hornier and makes your pussy more organic and it stretches back to normal size anyway.

[TheMaestro]

Normal, although after kids get to the certain age, it wouldn't be a bad idea just to find a part-time job.

[Radimir]

I don't think it's a wise decision for a woman in the long run. She is eventually going to become bored of that lifestyle, seeing her partner go out in the world and meet new people and experience what life has to offer while she is at home, washing dishes and taking care of kids 24/7/365? THINK about that for a minute. Doing that repeatedly for a couple of years is going to have a serious toll on her mind. It's not healthy especially in this era of social media and advanced technology, where we are taught to be independent and strive for greatness. Besides boredom, she may even feel unsatisfied in her marriage as well. It's not just strangers, even her own husband may have a low opinion of her and see her as dependent on him. He might not say it to her but let's say they get into an argument. I guarantee you, he will bring that up and she will feel bad about it. I think you asked a similar question before and my response is still the same, it's NOT a good thing to be a housewife, you don't have to be a movie star or drive a sportscar but at least do something. It simply makes no sense being a housewife in today's era.

[Megadorian]

Personally I 'd like my wife to be as ambitious and professional as me

[Finnish Swede]

I live here in USA and my cousin is a homemaker/housewife. She tells me that people often make rude comments to her. For example, some people call her stuff like lazy, useless, has no ambitions etc.

It’s so sad how society looks down on women who want to primarily focus on their children rather than money/career here in USA. What do Europeans think of women who choose to be housewives/homemakers?


At first, why you ask Europeans opinions? As American wouldn't only Americans opinions mean something? Or have your own family just moved into USA? Secondly Europe is huge. There are variations how people will think about matters. There are no one clear answer which would fit to all. Not especially to this kind of questions which are heavily linked to culture matters (women and men roles).

If I'm looking this from Scandinavia (which is called both the most gender equal and the most feminist area in Europe ... depending to whom to ask) ... I would deal this matter into four parts.

1.) How society will see housewife?
Here I base on my answer to pure economical aspects as I do not know other way how to value this (importance). And the answer is ''BADLY''!
Yes mothers roles are one of the best in Scandinavia (fully paid maternity leaves, free maternity packages, the world's lowest maternal mortality etc.) but longer runs that has not been supported. Opposite societies have focused free kinder garden systems so that mothers could return work already much before ad kids will start their schools. Ideas/agendas/wishes/messages are crystal clear.

2.) How people (average) will see this?
For most families it is someway benefit that both parents will work. The salary of man nowadays hardly will be not enough for lifestyle families (both parents and kids) wants. I also know many women who likes to work. Family goes first (always), but work will offer them something own and some chances to get shortly away from issues of home (= air ones head).

3.) Security of mother (and kids)
We all want to believe everlasting love, but today families and marriages will broke, even pretty often. Now if mother has stayed at home, hers life might become challenger after divorce. Fathers will need support their kids until 18 years old (via annual payments) but based on their total salaries those sums might not be huge. And how about woman alone? So many (women) wants to study and also work (owning at least some work experiences) just for cases. Same goes with possible pension. Nobody earns pension for being housewife. One kind of insurance for possible bad outcomes. Some others would say; wise behavior.

4.) If one has afford it and wants to do that, then who other people are judge that?


Here is one picture (real life)
https://assets.weforum.org/editor/EVLurnMV3ddwtYFUHGWguqUb-qSJnp8Up8MEYengrwA.png


Here is another. Now attitudes.
https://i.ibb.co/hLcnnV6/IMG-1648-kopio.jpg

[Ford]

Why do I get the feeling that this thread already exists?

[Breathe]

At first, why you ask Europeans opinions? As American wouldn't only Americans opinions mean something? Or have your own family just moved into USA? Secondly Europe is huge. There are variations how people will think about matters. There are no one clear answer which would fit to all. Not especially to this kind of questions which are heavily linked to culture matters (women and men roles).

If I'm looking this from Scandinavia (which is called both the most gender equal and the most feminist area in Europe ... depending to whom to ask) ... I would deal this matter into four parts.

1.) How society will see housewife?
Here I base on my answer to pure economical aspects as I do not know other way how to value this (importance). And the answer is ''BADLY''!
Yes mothers roles are one of the best in Scandinavia (fully paid maternity leaves, free maternity packages, the world's lowest maternal mortality etc.) but longer runs that has not been supported. Opposite societies have focused free kinder garden systems so that mothers could return work already much before ad kids will start their schools. Ideas/agendas/wishes/messages are crystal clear.

2.) How people (average) will see this?
For most families it is someway benefit that both parents will work. The salary of man nowadays hardly will be not enough for lifestyle families (both parents and kids) wants. I also know many women who likes to work. Family goes first (always), but work will offer them something own and some chances to get shortly away from issues of home (= air ones head).

3.) Security of mother (and kids)
We all want to believe everlasting love, but today families and marriages will broke, even pretty often. Now if mother has stayed at home, hers life might become challenger after divorce. Fathers will need support their kids until 18 years old (via annual payments) but based on their total salaries those sums might not be huge. And how about woman alone? So many (women) wants to study and also work (owning at least some work experiences) just for cases. Same goes with possible pension. Nobody earns pension for being housewife. One kind of insurance for possible bad outcomes. Some others would say; wise behavior.

4.) If one has afford it and wants to do that, then who other people are judge that?


Here is one picture (real life)
https://assets.weforum.org/editor/EVLurnMV3ddwtYFUHGWguqUb-qSJnp8Up8MEYengrwA.png


Here is another. Now attitudes.
https://i.ibb.co/hLcnnV6/IMG-1648-kopio.jpg


Well you should understand that money isn’t everything. I don’t understand why some people look down on women to choose children over making money. It has been the norm for thousands of years.

[Ylla]

I personally don't want that lifestyle but I respect women that do. We want to raise our son's more outdoorsy. Going on nature walks, hiking, camping, educational trips etc. I want a more adventurous way of life.

[Teutone]

Most honerable women for me, living like god commands.

All my female ancestors were housewifes.

[Finnish Swede]

Well you should understand that money isn’t everything. I don’t understand why some people look down on women to choose children over making money. It has been the norm for thousands of years.

I? Just said how people generally will see that here (North Europe). If you do not want to hear answers, please do not go to ask.

I do not think anybody will look one down as such (not here anyway), but they might wonder/question will that really be the wisest decision at longer run? Just as conditions & circumstances can change (in lifetime). Most of the mothers who are staying home today are immigrants. Maybe they want that? Maybe that comes from culture? In the end for many it is also the only option. Not enough skills in local language, no education => they could not find jobs even if wanted.

Over all nobody can decide behalf of you. It is yours call. I would never go to ask this kind of questions. I will (and can) make my own decisions.

Money can be almost everything, if one has it too less (today's societies). Much too often money is also partly behind of divorces, or fights of it. If one has it enough or even too much, it looses its importance. What is enough is personal issue.

[Komintasavalta]

A typical housewife 100+ years ago would have spent the majority of her time cleaning the house and preparing the food (domestic chores).

I think women spent more time producing textiles than cleaning. Spinning alone took a lot of time, even though at least in Finland it was work that was given to children.

And it's not like wives had to do all womens' jobs themselves, because they had children or female servants or older family members living with them.

So if a wife was awake for 16 hours per day, there's no way she spent over 8 hours making food and cleaning alone.

Other jobs that women had to do:

Spinning:

https://i.ibb.co/4SbWjHS/QGd-RMd-Ws-Uh-HZv3-Zkl-UO6-Qb-RO13-Ntp-Rj-MFb6-QAan1-Ii13-I0-Tg3n-IIfr-SBt1-Ws-RJ2.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/72764

Weaving:

https://i.ibb.co/P1xhb9v/russian-107598.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/107598

Fetching water:

https://i.ibb.co/8McWNtZ/russian-74456.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/74456

Pounding grains:

https://i.ibb.co/3mKc8BZ/kunstkamera-karelian-97742.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/97742

Harvesting:

https://i.ibb.co/Kjhwrqr/kunstkamera-karelian-97670.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/97670

Traveling to a pasture to milk cows:

https://i.ibb.co/2yKGhy5/kunstkamera-russian-106825.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/106825

Wickering nets:

https://i.ibb.co/3Mht4CP/russian-118599.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/118599

Making baskets:

https://i.ibb.co/b6rJFLj/russian-110372.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/110372

Milking cows:

https://i.ibb.co/F54xyj1/russian-108131.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/108131

Breaking flax:

https://i.ibb.co/cv2nnFZ/russian-108128.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/108128

Soaking flax:

https://i.ibb.co/df9smCh/kunstkamera-karelian-97687.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/97687

Making pottery:

https://i.ibb.co/61DCmQ2/komipermyak-73494.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/73494

Preparing a solution to color leather:

https://i.ibb.co/g4dpxVt/TBnebx2w-AN2161t-YIm35-Ac09poe-W4-J61-9-FFGPy-UQW4-H0-Tv1r0-Vrt-Nek0-DEDIq4.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/110661

Churning milk:

https://i.ibb.co/wYFH0L7/8-EOZMq-Y2f-JOZx-ROe-F1v-Yi-RGTduga-CAPYBOIO1-Zhib-7-Cl-KS5-H-HYe-NHi-Y9-Pqo-V4-F.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/90901

Doing laundry (if they lived far from a river or lake, sometimes it took a lot of time just to walk to a place where they could do laundry, or in the winter they might have needed to dig a hole in the ice):

https://i.ibb.co/vQk4zF7/8-EOZMq-Y2f-JOZx-ROe-F1v-Yiast1xtom-Un-Mb-Ark-FSOIl89-BNii-Ds-LHCI2-WU-Wp0lbo-O.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/88494

Going to a market:

https://i.ibb.co/yk24XyM/u-C9cf4-Br6-NJi3n-Xp5f-4x56-Hyfw1dal-FPHbil-NBml-MC2-Czm-XNARGy-X2w-OSKd0-V1.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/129772

Extracting bark:
https://i.ibb.co/cNR031b/o9-ZIp-OMZh-GGd-ZFXF5-LJPF1-AII-t-Fdzadxrq-GA5aalspz-Asspn-VNPPX4van-RN5-Wfr.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/entity/OBJECT/117864

Feeding cattle:

https://i.ibb.co/0Z8NXc0/TBnebx2w-AN2161t-YIm35-Ab7c1vb-Ly-Ihsdi7-ZTa-Bw-Qxl9-RO-FProe-R3-Pki-Yt-GR9g-B.jpg
http://collection.kunstkamera.ru/en/entity/OBJECT/108043

In order to make a linen yarn, first the flax seeds are sown. Later weeds are removed from a flax field. Then flax plants are pulled from the ground with their roots. Then they are put to dry for about a week. Then seeds and leaves are extracted. Then the flax is soaked until pieces of the flax rot and become separated from the flax fiber, after which the flax is taken to a sauna to dry. Then there are about three different steps where further parts of the flax are mechanically extracted (in Finnish loukuttaminen, lihtaaminen, and häkylöinti). Then the flax still needs to be spun, which takes forever.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNFD_CUlxZU

At least in Finland, it was also common for people to walk to church even if they lived 10 or 20 km away from church, so some people might have spent 5% of their weekly waking hours just walking to church and back. Or even if they rowed a boat to church, a typical rowing speed is around walking speed or a bit faster.

[KirillMazur]

The best occupation for women. My wife, my mother and one of my grandmothers are all housewives, they all worked in their lives purely symbolically - six months or a year. In Russia, the attitude towards housewives is on the verge of envy and respect, many women want to be them, but not everyone has the opportunity.
As for degradation, degradation (+ wear and tear of the body) in monotonous hired work is noticeably greater, since less time is left for oneself (+ stress).
Plus, a housewife wife is an additional motivation for me, any man who has a backing and is expected at home will be happier and achieve more than a loner.
According to my observations, a woman who works in a women's team often becomes a bitch (the influence of bitch colleagues), while a woman working in a men's team becomes rude and sooner or later will cheat on you. In any case, it would be unpleasant for me if at work to my wife some colleague or boss would try to crawl into her panties.

[Dušan]

Professional achievements and career of woman is not important for me. I wouldn't mind if she is housewife, it's nice.

[Ylla]

People here seem stuck in the past, with a romanticised view of life. Nothing wrong with that, but how are we supposed to discuss any subject that is relevant to us today? I really struggle to talk openly about modern problems.
There is little incentive for women to be housewives after their children reach a certain age. In my opinion, as long as what they do is in service to their families and God, be it careers or otherwise, then it's not our place to have an opinion about it.

[Oneeye]

It's a privilege that most don't have.

[JosephK]

It's a privilege that most don't have.

Yep. Housewives are a sign than an economy is functioning well.

[Bassel]

I think everyone has the freedom to choose the lifestyle that suits them the best, but I think that people should generally try to have a greater purpose to achieve in life, something that's beyond just reproductive biology as it wouldn't be very different from the other members of Animalia. When children are involved in relationship matters though, I usually take a different approach, but in this case the prolonged involvement of a mother with her child can't be negative to the child's healthy development within normal standards. When no child is involved on the other hand, I think it's quite difficult to relate to a housewife on a mental level, as the dedication is now fully to the husband, yet - it leaves a gap on the wife's side, considering her role outside of the house and to her community. Life is fairly easier when there are two source of income in a house rather than the balance of the scale tipping only towards the muscles of the husband, and this accounts for something especially in less-fortunate economies where the husband often has to work twice as much to provide for what's now plus-one mouth and body next to themselves, much worse in the presence of a child as now the count rises up to three, and the time the child spends around their father is perhaps reduced as much. Society-wise, if all women were to become housewives, that would effectively render half of the population non-productive, and seen from an economic POV, that is -50% the workforce, and a great potential wasted. I personally hold it in an unfavorable light, as the benefits of the alternative outweighs the benefit of being a housewife. I mean, can you imagine how unstimulating it must've been to be a housewife to a low-mid income household in the middle ages?