Would you help strangers?

[Skandi]

Ok I've posted this before elsewhere but wondered what the people here on the Apricity think.

I stopped on my way home from work one Friday night about 4.30am because there was a man lying in the middle of the pavement with blood all over him. Other people had just walked past He was ok just a bit drunk and had been in a fight, got him up in the end, purely by refusing to leave him alone until he stood up!

But it's what he said that was worse, he said "Why would anyone want to stop and help a stranger" He didn't seem to understand why I would, (admittedly a woman was stabbed to death about 500m from where we were 4 nights previously) I asked what society would be like if nobody helped anybody. He seemed to think that that is the stage we have gotten to, I do hope not.

I was in the pub later, and a friend said that she had found a young girl in a similar situation a few nights before and taken her home, again other people had just stepped over her.

So this made me wonder, have we got to that stage? Is everybody just in it for themselves, do people feel that it is too dangerous to help strangers? I would welcome some opinions especially some which might restore what little faith I have left in human nature!

[Vulpix]

Yes I would help strangers, though the probability of me helping them is directly proportional to their phenotypical similarity to me ;).

[jerney]

I'd help someone as long as I wasn't in danger by doing so, and I wouldn't care about their ethnic background whatsoever.

[Beorn]

Not so long ago, on "another forum", I answered this little poser by announcing I do not help strangers and would never consider doing so beyond the little actions such as helping old Ladies with their bags to their cars, or women with prams getting up and down stairs.

Well, sheepish as I feel; I stand corrected. I would now say that: Yes! I will help a stranger.

We are all in need of some help from time to time and the passer-by is often the only person that will ever help you.

[Lady L]

Of course I would help someone. Kind of goes hand in hand with compassion :wink

[Gooding]

Of course I'd help someone if they needed it and nobody else was willing to lend a hand.I'd be talking a lot of shit about the assholes that ignored the stranger before I showed up, also, though.:D

[SwordoftheVistula]

Depends. For simple stuff like directions, sure.

The problem is, if someone is in trouble (example: motorist in a broken down car) and you stop to help them, they will look at you with suspicion, and most people have cell phones now anyways. I'll still help with simple stuff like if I'm outside and I see someone stuck in snow, I'll push their car for them, or if its an accident that just happened I'll run over and check to see if the people are ok.

Giving money to random people, never, no matter what their story is, since it is probably BS.

[Psychonaut]

I'm very cautious about helping people, but if I think that the situation truly warrants it, I'll lend my assistance. With small things (i.e. opening doors, picking things up, etc.) I'll nearly always help people, especially women or old people. I'll also help a child with almost anything. It's with people on the road side that I'm a lot more cautious with. The last time I stopped to help someone, it transpired like this:

I was driving home from my wife's house (she was then my girlfriend) and I saw a fellow standing in the middle of the road. I could clearly see that he had blood on him and he was waving his arms in the air. I pulled over and asked him what was wrong. When I stepped out of the car, his lady friend stepped out of the shadows and was bloodied as well. The man told me that their house was a mile or so down the road and that they just needed a ride there. I let the two of them in and headed out that way. As soon as we started driving they started fighting though. She accused him of pushing her down (causing her injuries which then bloodied him). He denied it and said she was just drunk and fell (they were both drunk and/or high). After a few minuted of this, thy actually started hitting each other. I yelled at them and they quieted down. I let them off at their house without further incident.

This made me realize that when you stop and pick someone up, you never really know what kind of crazy person you might be letting in your car. I'm a lot more discerning now, but if someone truly looks in danger I'll stop and help.

[jerney]

Giving money to random people, never, no matter what their story is, since it is probably BS.

I don't think that's what she was getting at with this thread.

[SwordoftheVistula]

I'm very cautious about helping people, but if I think that the situation truly warrants it, I'll lend my assistance. With small things (i.e. opening doors, picking things up, etc.) I'll nearly always help people, especially women or old people. I'll also help a child with almost anything. It's with people on the road side that I'm a lot more cautious with. The last time I stopped to help someone, it transpired like this:

I was driving home from my wife's house (she was then my girlfriend) and I saw a fellow standing in the middle of the road. I could clearly see that he had blood on him and he was waving his arms in the air. I pulled over and asked him what was wrong. When I stepped out of the car, his lady friend stepped out of the shadows and was bloodied as well. The man told me that their house was a mile or so down the road and that they just needed a ride there. I let the two of them in and headed out that way. As soon as we started driving they started fighting though. She accused him of pushing her down (causing her injuries which then bloodied him). He denied it and said she was just drunk and fell (they were both drunk and/or high). After a few minuted of this, thy actually started hitting each other. I yelled at them and they quieted down. I let them off at their house without further incident.

This made me realize that when you stop and pick someone up, you never really know what kind of crazy person you might be letting in your car. I'm a lot more discerning now, but if someone truly looks in danger I'll stop and help.

Yeah, there's too many wack jobs out there.

One time when I was about 20, some woman came up to me and said she needed a ride, then once in the car she started grabbing my crotch and asking for money. I stopped the car and told her to get out, and ever since then nobody gets in my car unless I know them.

[Absinthe]

The problem is, if someone is in trouble (example: motorist in a broken down car) and you stop to help them, they will look at you with suspicion, and most people have cell phones now anyways.

Why would they you look suspiciously if you stop to help a motorist in a broken down car? :eek: Isn't that the most logical thing to do? :eek:

As for the cell phone...you already said most people have them, but not all people --and what if someone's phone is out of battery or doesn't have a signal if one is stuck in the middle of nowhere?

Don't get me wrong...I just think it's a sad day for society if we pass by someone whose car broke down, thinking he must have a cell phone, so f**k him... :(

[Loki]

I would like to think that I would help strangers ... without discrimination, based on need. I hope I would, anyway. Sometimes we are blind to the need of others, and only see what is affecting us directly. Maybe we are subconsciously blocking out awkward sights.

Some days ago I was on my way to the train station ... and by chance didn't have enough money for a ticket. I would have been late for a very important appointment, had a very kind and generous lady not given me 55p at that point. As little as that may seem, her kindness and friendliness did wonders to restore my faith in humanity. There are still good people out there, who are not merely selfish. And why did she help me? Her point of reference was because other people had helped her in the past in a similar way with parking money. So, if you spread goodwill around, it is likely to multiply. :thumbs up

[Skandi]

I've given for parking money :) people normally ask if you can change a pound as the machines don't give change, but if it's only 20p or so that they want I don't really mind if it's not a swap!

[Eldritch]

Do I help strangers who fall down, hurt themselves, have sudden strokes of illness, have had a little too much to drink, etc?

OF COURSE I F**KING DO.

Isn't that what this little thing called "civilized society" is all about?

[SwordoftheVistula]

Why would they you look suspiciously if you stop to help a motorist in a broken down car? :eek: Isn't that the most logical thing to do?

In past times. Now, the presumption if you approached someone in a situation like that is that you are up to no good.


As for the cell phone...you already said most people have them, but not all people --and what if someone's phone is out of battery or doesn't have a signal if one is stuck in the middle of nowhere?

Don't get me wrong...I just think it's a sad day for society if we pass by someone whose car broke down, thinking he must have a cell phone, so f**k him... :(

It's changed the culture though. It's not just cell phones, it's mainly the crime. Prior to cell phones becoming common, people might have been apprehensive but accepted the help because they had no other choice. Naturally, it depends on a variety of factors, if a middle aged woman approaches a man offering to help in broad daylight in a rural town in Colorado he won't think anything of it and maybe be glad of the help, if a man approaches a woman in an urban area at night she is naturally going to roll up the windows, lock the doors, and call the cops to report a suspicious character.


Some days ago I was on my way to the train station ... and by chance didn't have enough money for a ticket. I would have been late for a very important appointment, had a very kind and generous lady not given me 55p at that point. As little as that may seem, her kindness and friendliness did wonders to restore my faith in humanity. There are still good people out there, who are not merely selfish. And why did she help me? Her point of reference was because other people had helped her in the past in a similar way with parking money. So, if you spread goodwill around, it is likely to multiply. :thumbs up

Yeah, but how many people hang around the train station all day giving a similar story to every person passing by?

[Äike]

I love my people, so I help everyone who need assistance, always when I see a change.

When I see homeless people, then I never give them money. As they would probably spend it on alcohol. I buy them food, if they look very hungry.

I'm a helpful person.

[Loki]

I love my people, so I help everyone who need assistance, always when I see a change.

When I see homeless people, then I never give them money. As they would probably spend it on alcohol. I buy them food, if they look very hungry.

I'm a helpful person.

Would you help a Russian?

[Äike]

Would you help a Russian?

In Russia, yes. In Estonia, never. 68% of Estonia is Estonian and all the other are mainly Russian and Slavic immigrants. If a Russian needs help, then it's probably a trick. And you'll loose your wallet, if you try to help him/her.

I dislike immigrants. Russia is the world's largest country, but still, the Russians won't go back to there.

As there are so few of us, the Estonians. Then having immigrants makes things worse.

[Skandi]

In Russia, yes. In Estonia, never.


That's a very good point there, I would help anybody in their own country, however I would think twice about helping some if they were in mine.

Help requiring immediate action, i.e first aid drowning etc, I will help and then wonder if I should. not vice versa.

[SuuT]

Short answer:


I make it a point to help at least on person every day.:) - Especially if they are old.


The lack of willingness to help anyone, is - quite simply - out of fear.

Fear does not rule my decisions, morals, or ethics.

[Vargtand]

I do at times, it depends on if I am in a hurry and can spare some money or not.

[Atlas]

I did already, I also help homeless, what they are going to do with my money is none of my business...

[Loki]

In Russia, yes. In Estonia, never. 68% of Estonia is Estonian and all the other are mainly Russian and Slavic immigrants. If a Russian needs help, then it's probably a trick. And you'll loose your wallet, if you try to help him/her.

I dislike immigrants. Russia is the world's largest country, but still, the Russians won't go back to there.

As there are so few of us, the Estonians. Then having immigrants makes things worse.

It is very easy to help people you like. Everybody can do that. No skills required.

[Tabiti]

Depends on the exact situation. After all I'm female (+ that not very big in size), so everything could happen. Many criminals try to deceive their victims in such way, so being egoist sometimes may save your life;)

[safinator]

I only help strangers who try to help themselves first, but I don't give them rides in my car. If someone's car breaks down in traffic, I will pull over and help them push it out of the road almost 100% of the time if they are trying to do it but can't. If they are just sitting there in their car with their hazard lights on while smoking a cigarette I will just get pissed because they are blocking traffic.