Is corporal punishment an acceptable means of disciplining children?

[Skandi]

Is corporal punishment an acceptable means of disciplining children?

Did you have this used on you? Did it work, have/will you use it on your own children?

[Loki]

I have mixed feelings about this. Some corporal punishment does seem to teach children respect and humility. But this method of punishment is so often misused, incorrectly applied and abused, that it causes bitterness and lack of self esteem in too many instances. I don't think corporal punishment is the answer. Or it may work on some, and have the opposite effect on others. We are all unique. Parents should know their children and what makes them tick.

It did not work on me. It caused resentment, bitterness and distrust in me whenever it occurred. If not a desire for vengeance. I was a difficult kid.

I will not use it on my children.

[Rudy]

It reminds me of dog training where a light tap on their nose with one finger and stern tone of voice will get their attention much more effectively.

Constructive feedback and strong guidance may work better for some. I have not read up on this subject yet.

Similar to dog training, the light jerk on the chain is to get their attention, not to punish their neck.

[Solwyn]

Hmmmm.....at risk of sounding like a terrible parent, I believe in a certain amount of this. The current social climate would have us reason with our kids, and let's face it, everyone who has been a parent know that you can not reason with a two year old that is hell bent on getting at the stuff in your china cabinet.

I never child-proofed my home, my belief was always that no one else in life would child-proof anything for my son, therefore I would be doing him a disservice if I removed everything from his environment that would be potentially harmful. He had to learn to live around or with certain things in life, and some of this life-learning comes from accepting the consequences of one's actions. Break the irreplaceable china and get a swat across the arse, land forehead-first into the coffee table and get a bruise on the head, that sort of thing.

I know that these days it is popular to wait for an "expert" to tell you what to do, and then to do what that expert says because of course, they are an expert, they know more than us, but I am from the old school. I find that 99.9% of the critics of child-rearing do not have children themselves but all seem to know "what they would do if they were parents" - and of course, it's never what the actual parent is doing. I went to university and pursued a degree in social sciences, with the intent of becoming one of these people, and I found that the "experts" that I studied under had a. the worst children on the face of the earth and that b. the ones that had good children were telling people one thing ("....reason with your child, set acceptable limits, make pie charts....blah, blah, blah....") but going home and giving their kids a good old fashioned swat across the bum. HA!!!

I am one of those tiresome, politically incorrect people that will tell you that I was spanked as a child and never turned into a psychopathic murderer or bank robber - and that I have spanked my child as well. It worked. Telling him why it was wrong to stick flowers into the outlets didn't work, using "negative conditioning" like the almighty 1-2-3 In The Corner didn't work either. Nor did the old "you did this so no treat for you" business. Smacking him on the butt along with a good, sharp "NO!!" fixed the behaviour straight off.

[Beorn]

Is corporal punishment an acceptable means of disciplining children?

Yes.


Did you have this used on you? Did it work, have/will you use it on your own children?My father was very strong in his discipline towards his children and is now considered with nothing but love and respect by us all.

I was an extremely hot headed, tempered child and would think nothing of coming at you with the nearest weapon. Whether it would be the nearest fruit bowl, frying pan, knife or even my plain old fists and legs and head.

My father knew how to deal with me then and would most likely know how to do deal with me now.

He was the first person I thought and feared of when the consequences of my actions sank in and would be the only person that would hold me back from descending into many situations I would freely have gone.

That man instilled in me my notion of 'man' and I owe him for that. Without his acute awareness of how to treat me I would have turned out to be another man.

With his teachings in mind, I set about disciplining my daughter the same way.
She was my little companion when I was a full time house husband and she is the daughter of her father for sure.

My son on the other hand was at home with his mother all the time and had her for his companion. He is naughty, rude and beyond the gods in his stubbornness, but no amount of short violence will correct him.

Ceallach was to weak and afraid to admonish and punish the boy, and his actions show this.

Corporal punishment is the way for most people in my eyes. This world sorely misses the complete clarity that it brings to the youth.

[Brynhild]

I have mixed feelings about this. Some corporal punishment does seem to teach children respect and humility. But this method of punishment is so often misused, incorrectly applied and abused, that it causes bitterness and lack of self esteem in too many instances. I don't think corporal punishment is the answer. Or it may work on some, and have the opposite effect on others. We are all unique. Parents should know their children and what makes them tick.

It did not work on me. It caused resentment, bitterness and distrust in me whenever it occurred. If not a desire for vengeance. I was a difficult kid.

I will not use it on my children.

Loki, if you're talking about the more crueller methods of using a whip or cane for example, then fair enough. However, never say never. Until you know what it's like, you're not going to know how you will react to your child - especially when they are being right little shits!

I agree to a certain type of discipline - I'm not one for the "spare the rod and spoil the child" ideology. Kids get away with far too much these days because they know the law is on their side. I'm too politically incorrect for that. I think the occasional smack on the arse won't do a child any harm, actions speak louder than words to a two year old who is on a rampage! :D

I have been caned by a teacher, whacked across the the back of the knees with a feather duster by my mother, but beyond that I didn't really cop too much in that regard.

@ Solwyn, I didn't childproof my home either, apart from locking the poisonous substances away. It doesn't take kids long to cotton on to their surroundings, accidents and mishaps are far less likely when they know what's in their immediate environment.

A friend once told me that she used one of the kitchen cupboards to house her child's toys, and I thought that was a wonderful idea. They didn't need to go anywhere else!

[Elveon]

:mad:No and Never! neither my wife nor myself have used this barbarian process to discipline or educate our children... We prefer to have dialog with them.

Yet, I have two sons, whose one is an adolescent...

Friends often tell us:"oh! Luka, your children are very polite and adorable, mine are unbearable!"

I have no solution for "problem child"; maybe parents should listen little more and talk with their kids. Anyway, violence should be avoided; why? Simply when your child becomes an adult, and if you have beaten him at early years, HE WILL HATE YOU LATER! It's the only result obtained with this method.

Only a coward knock on children, and often this kind of parents are mentally unbalanced,alcoholics or drug addicted...Often, that's the same kind of person who beats his wife too!:mad::mad::mad::mad:

But of course It is my own opinion, and other members have the right not to be agree with me; but in that case, I will refuse any debate about this pic...

Luka the Father:D

[Psychonaut]

I do believe that there is a time and place for corporal punishment, however we use it very sparingly and completely quit with our daughter once she reached the age of nine or so. I've found that when physical punishment is necessary to drive home a point that the "imaginary chair" is a far superior alternative to spanking:

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/18_2008/wall-sit.jpg

[Gooding]

Very rarely, though.Usually stern words are good enough, but if my daughter ignores me or my wife and continues to act like a little bitch, then a couple of swats across the rump seem to drive the point home.

[Skandi]

I find it interesting when people say that hitting a child will make it hate you, were you hit as a child? did it make you hate your parents? I do not see the logic, watch any animals with their young, they hit them or shake them depending on the species. why would we we any different. I agree that with the very young there is no alternative, other than destroying your life and home to stop them getting into mischief.

I think it is also good for older children but hopefully if you have done the job well, that will not be necessary. I was hit but I don't remember it, however I am sure that it worked, otherwise it would not have been repeated.

A physical punishment on an older child should be measured, they are quite old enough to understand what you are doing and why, and should certainly have this explained to them. It is no good lashing out for no reason. For example if the child throws a tantrum in the supermarket you tell them the punishment that will ensue when the get home. that way they have the anticipation as well as the event, the anticipation will often be worse than the reality.

[Loki]

I find it interesting when people say that hitting a child will make it hate you, were you hit as a child? did it make you hate your parents? I do not see the logic, watch any animals with their young, they hit them or shake them depending on the species. why would we we any different.

Because we're intelligent. And also, I think if a kid with an IQ of 85 gets beaten it would probably have effect. But it's not going to work on a kid with an IQ of 145.

[Rainraven]

I believe I may have been smacked once or twice as a child, but it was more the threat of such action that would always pull me into line! I only needed to be smacked a few times to know that I didn't like it and was keen to avoid it. But I think I was also a rather eager to please child and hated to disappoint my parents. I think getting "We are very disappointed with the way you have behaved speech" and trying to avoid a smacking were the best forms of discipline my parents employed. Less effective was when Dad lost his cool and would yell at me, which started me crying, which made me cry more, then me being sent to my room and Mum and Dad arguing about what I'd done wrong! Aaah dysfunctional families.. :wink

[stormlord]

Because we're intelligent. And also, I think if a kid with an IQ of 85 gets beaten it would probably have effect. But it's not going to work on a kid with an IQ of 145.

It doesn't matter how high your IQ is when you're three or four years old though, you still won't be open to a rational discourse.

I think done properly it makes sense for younger children. For who bring up the argument that it promotes a violent and short tempered example to children; punishment shouldn't be administered because the parent is angry at the time. The old fashioned way works best; if a child is naughty they're told to wait outside their father's study at six o' clock, they get a smack and that's the end of it, the worst way is when a parent loses their temper, say in the middle of town and starts smacking their child, because that's not done for the benefit of the child, but as a way for them to vent their annoyance. Essentially children should never see their parents get angry.

[RoyBatty]

Yes I think it is acceptable within reason but overuse renders it less effective and it becomes counterproductive.

I contributed my unfair share to domestic trouble and insanity while I was growing up so can't really have many complaints about being whacked. Most of the time I deserved it.

The funniest incident I remember occurred while I was being obnoxious and disruptive during a science class at school. The teacher said "take off your glasses". While I still (rather stupidly) :D marvelled at the possibilities of what he could be up to he winded me one in the face. Yes folks.... space travel on the cheap does exist!

That was one example of shutting me up to help me reconsider my behaviour.

:cool:

As the UK posters are probably aware, schools here have major disciplinary problems where the little darlings run riot. I'm convinced a major reason for this is the "you can't touch me" culture. The end result is that academic progress suffers resulting in more and more students who can't make the grade. (There are other reasons for this as well, of course). Nu Labour's solution is to dumb down the curriculum and the exams so that the statistics can be improved. :rolleyes2:

[Beorn]

I think it is also good for older children but hopefully if you have done the job well, that will not be necessary.

Very true. My daughter received her share of smacks whilst growing up and now knows the discipline she will receive if she dares to step out of line with her mother and father.

My son simply cries when he's smacked; wails and stomps his feet, then you can see his face get angry and he will charge at you and give you a right good smack of your own.

:D That's my boy!

I am currently devising a new plan to punish the boy when he is naughty. Isolation and lack of attention seems to work best, so it will be lots of sitting on naughty steps and placed alone in rooms to consider his actions.



As the UK posters are probably aware, schools here have major disciplinary problems where the little darlings run riot. I'm convinced a major reason for this is the "you can't touch me" culture.

Reminds me of my English/Form tutor who got so annoyed with me one day that he politely asked me to follow him outside of class and shut the door behind us.
He then turned round, grabbed me by the throat and pushed me against the wall and told me to basically "STFU".

I couldn't stand the guy and hated the guy even more after that incident, but he did gain my respect and fear and the majority of my rebelliousness was directed elsewhere.

[Lady L]

Any child who is given 2 parents that love them unconditionally and are good parents and choose to spank when needed are not to blame for children who grow up abusive. There is a difference in disciplining children and abusing them. Children want discipline. They want lines drawn. Otherwise they feel neglected.

I've tried all approaches to discipline. Oh, and I got spanked a bit when I was a kid. I didn't feel abused and I never hated them. When I deserved it I guess I earned it ...:D and I understood thats what it was. It wasn't to hurt me. I could tell they didn't want to hurt me.

As a mother I am soft at times. My children have their bad moments but all in all they are not that badly behaved. :) It just depends on what they have done and then I consider punishment. :D

For example Zack got in trouble on the bus. He never gets in trouble at school. A few frown faces but never anything serious. But, :D on the bus it seems there is to much freedom and he feels feisty.

So he had already gotten 2 pink slips from the bus driver...and then the 3rd. On the morning after of the 3rd he wakes me up for school, which he never does, but it was wearing on his mind you see ;) that he hadn't told me about it. :) He says in a cry/whisper..." You have to go see the Principle before I can go to school " and I thought WHAT :eek:, I kept asking him what it was about and continues with IDK. :rolleyes: So I have no idea what I am walking into. :D It was only about the bus situation again. She ( the principle ) tells me he is a very good boy and doesn't know what goes on the bus or why and that she wanted to see what I thought we could use as punishment to make him stop. We agreed that he would pick weeds a few days during recess. ( so he can see them play she said ) and think about what he did. :cool::(:D And, he was to eat lunch alone 3 times. :( I agreed it was a good punishment and at the same time I felt sorry for him. :(:p

I hope this helps him to learn to behave on the bus as he does for his teacher. :) All us parents can do really is love them, point them in the right directions and let go. Hope for the best. :)

(My husband just saw a turtle in the back yard and brought in my living room! He is on the carpet checking out the place :D)

[Osweo]

Hmmmm.....at risk of sounding like a terrible parent, I believe in a certain amount of this. The current social climate would have us reason with our kids, and let's face it, everyone who has been a parent know that you can not reason with a two year old that is hell bent on getting at the stuff in your china cabinet.
Aye. It's the most natural thing in the world. Legislation against human nature horrifies me, and raises awful hornets' nests. Disgression and moderation are all that's needed, as ever.


I am one of those tiresome, politically incorrect people that will tell you that I was spanked as a child and never turned into a psychopathic murderer or bank robber - and that I have spanked my child as well. It worked. Telling him why it was wrong to stick flowers into the outlets didn't work, using "negative conditioning" like the almighty 1-2-3 In The Corner didn't work either. Nor did the old "you did this so no treat for you" business. Smacking him on the butt along with a good, sharp "NO!!" fixed the behaviour straight off.
Exactly. I got a good few back in the day (and Mam still dishes em out on occasion! :P) and it didn't do me any harm.

I do believe that there is a time and place for corporal punishment, however we use it very sparingly and completely quit with our daughter once she reached the age of nine or so. I've found that when physical punishment is necessary to drive home a point that the "imaginary chair" is a far superior alternative to spanking:

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/12981/18_2008/wall-sit.jpg
Jesus, the KGB used to do things like that! What's next, waterboarding?!?
Psych, these sorts of things freak me out! Far simpler to just give a whack when needed, than turn it into some odd ritual!

Here's an actual question, of some interest; when did these methods first appear? Do they have any traditional past in any culture?

[jerney]

Very rarely, though.Usually stern words are good enough, but if my daughter ignores me or my wife and continues to act like a little bitch, then a couple of swats across the rump seem to drive the point home.

I find it a bit disturbing you would refer to your daughter as a "little bitch". That's a really crude thing to call your child and I must wonder how you treat most other women.

[Skandi]

I find it a bit disturbing you would refer to your daughter as a "little bitch". That's a really crude thing to call your child and I must wonder how you treat most other women.

He didn't he said if she were behaving like a little bitch, a rather different thing.

[jerney]

He didn't he said if she were behaving like a little bitch, a rather different thing.

Same difference in my book.

[Loki]

Same difference in my book.

Finn is a good and respectful guy -- to everyone.

[jerney]

Finn is a good and respectful guy -- to everyone.

I never said he wasn't, that doesn't mean I think it's ok to refer to a female child as a bitch in any way. The word "bitch" carries connotations that are in no way applicable to a child, imo. To refer to a child as brat or even an asshole (I've known plenty asshole children) is one thing, but referring to one as a bitch is completely unnecessary and crude.

[Loki]

I never said he wasn't, that doesn't mean I think it's ok to refer to a female child as a bitch in any way. The word "bitch" carries connotations that are in no way applicable to a child, imo. To refer to a child as brat or even an asshole (I've known plenty asshole children) is one thing, but referring to one as a bitch is completely unnecessary and crude.

I hear what you say, but I think in modern colloquial expression, the word "bitch" does not necessarily have the same connotations. In its most original form though, "bitch" is only a name for a female dog. There are other meanings (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bitch) too, of course. Depending on how/where people have grown up, this word has varying degrees of sting to it I guess. :confused:

[Osweo]

I hear what you say, but I think in modern colloquial expression, the word "bitch" does not necessarily have the same connotations. ....
Depending on how/where people have grown up, this word has varying degrees of sting to it I guess. :confused:

Aye, and there's not necessarily anything 'modern' about it, either. My Irish grandmother has a way of using the word, usually in 'little bitch', which is almost endearing! Relax, Jerney!

[Psychonaut]

Jesus, the KGB used to do things like that! What's next, waterboarding?!?
Psych, these sorts of things freak me out! Far simpler to just give a whack when needed, than turn it into some odd ritual!

To be fair, I did learn this technique from the Army. ;)

I find that often when she's being rude or obstinate and I really need to capture her attention with a short lecture that putting her in this kind of "stress position" (as the Bush administration called it) really forces her to listen to me and not drift off into space.

[Gooding]

I find it a bit disturbing you would refer to your daughter as a "little bitch". That's a really crude thing to call your child and I must wonder how you treat most other women.

Usually I treat them with the same courtesy that they do me. I love my daughter at least as deeply as any other father, which is why I call her out when she behaves badly and reward her with toys, dolls and things when she's being good, which is most of the time. Naturally I will refer to my own family members and their actions by words I deem appropriate.

[Tabiti]

My mother has beaten me until the age I got able to strike back. That methods didn't work with me, only developed some complexes. I'm totally against corporal punishment for an animal or human being, especially when it is your child. Children must be taught dicipline without outrages and humilations. They must have self-respect, not only towards their parents.
Humilation - this is exactly how do you feel after being beaten!
Verbal abuses are even worse - "bitch", "swine", "animal", words a child must never heard from parent's mouth (but happened to me, unfortunately). The world outside is enough severe without home harassment. Abused children grown-up as people with no self-respect, meaning no chances of easy surviving nowadays.

[Gundwane]

I do believe in corporal punishment, BUT, wehen it DOES become necessary to spank a recalcitrant child when nothing else works, that child must understand that it is done because the parent loves it, and wants to see that child grow up to be a responsible adult at every level.

My threesome were not spared as they grew up - I kept a very soft leather strap behind the kitchen door - this thing was known as "PSYCHOLOGY," but seldom applied, after all other methods had failed. Now, when they were at school, it was against the rules to spank girls, but boys were not exempted. Son got "cut" (as caning in those days was called) on two occasions - the first time whenthe whole class got so totally boisterous and out of hand that their teacher sent them all to the vice-principal's office where they each got two of the best...

The second time was in his second high-school year when I discovered he was smoking, so I made a deal with him: All y ranting and raving wasn't going to make him stop, so I told him to go ahead and smoke, BUT he had to ask me for cigarettes and never, but never accept one from another boy's opened pack, as it could be drugged. Secondly, if he got caught at school, he was to accept the punishment meted out to him...

He was very good in keeping his side of the bargain, used to ask me for a few cigarettes every three or four days. Then one day he came home from school and went to shower, but while showering, one of the girls got hurt, and I knocked on the door and asked him to turn his back so that I could get the 1st-aid box. As I opened the door, I stopped in my tracks when I saw six stripes across his backside, all in different stages of discoloration, which told me they were not fresh any more.

"And THOSE zebra-stripes, son?


Replied he over his shoulder: "Oh, the headmaster caught us smoking in the toilets and we each got six of the best..."

Today? My kids are 50, 47 and 45 respectively, and more responsible, loving and hard-working citizens will be damned hard to find...

As the "Good Book" says:

PROVERBS 13 : 24, - He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him;

PROVERBS 22 : 15 - Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him;

& PROVERBS 23: 13-14 - Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. If you beat him with the rod you will save his life from Sheol (Hell).

[Absinthe]

1.


It did not work on me. It caused resentment, bitterness and distrust in me whenever it occurred. If not a desire for vengeance. I was a difficult kid.

This is the first reason. Not only because it rarely works, but because it will transform a child into a hate machine. Children that have been excessively beaten (that qualifies as abuse in my book, by the way), are likely to develop all kinds of sadomasochistic tendencies, feelings of inadequacy, resentmen, envy, bitterness, etc.

2.

Because there are other ways to "discipline" a child. Children need to be disciplined, yes. I hate spoiled children who think they can get away with everything.
However, spanking is the easiest and worst way to knock some manners into their heads. It is a method for parents that lack patience, consistency and parenting skills.

a) The worst mistake parents do is that they are inconsistent with their rewards or reinforcements.
Either individually, or a between-parent inconsistency.

One parent tends to punish the child harsh and the other rushes to comfort the child because s/he feels sorry.

The above punishment would have been more efficient if milder but endorsed by both parents.

b) The effects of depriving a child from a pleasant stimulus (such as grounding, removing toyes, not allowing the child to watch favorite show, etc), can be as strong and persisting as those of beating a child, and without the negative side-effects that accompany beating.

3.

Misbehaving children are the mirror image of their parents.

Yes, I too have had the desire to slap the **** out of a kid that has been screaming, running around and misbehaving incessantly at the restaurant where I am trying to have a nice meal.

But taking a look at the parents, who don't even seem to mind, I realize the child is behaving accordingly. Beating the hell out of that child would do it no good - in fact, children having the misfortune of being born to bad parents are beyond hope, imo.

That means: in such cases, how can a child be disciplined, if it's the parents that need to be disciplined first and foremost?

A good parent should be using mostly preventive, rather than punishing, measures.
The sense of discipline should be taught to the child from a young age, in a form of respect and obedience towards the parents. Not afterwards.

If the parents have failed in this very basic task of teaching their child to respect them, then it's them who deserve the beating ;)

4.

Finally, I have a somewhat philosophical objection to beating.

I would like my future child to learn, slowly yet peristently, to create a set of moral values and to be able to distinguish the difference between right and wrong, and hence do not misbehave because of conscious choice and not because of fear of punishment.

I have faith that I could bring up my child in such a way that s/he would rarely, if ever, do something so bad to deserve a beating. And even in that case I would use other methods. But if you teach a child to respect others and to acknowledge boundaries, then I don't think it will be necessary to resort into such measures.

[Thorum]

I am not sure if it is acceptable or not, but I try never to use this method. Let's see, my oldest daughter is 2-3/4 years old and the youngest daughter is about 18 months old.

I'll speak for myself as I know my wife feels a little differently (she doesn't mind a quick swat to the butt now and then). I just don't want to teach our kids that it is ok to hit other people. Also, what the hell am I teaching them when someone as big as me hits someone as small as them? It shows them that I am a weak person; someone who resorts to physical punishment because I am not patient enough or intelligent enough to deal with a little kid.

I have "lost it" a couple times and swatted their butts but that has happened maybe twice. And it feels awful for both of us.

As corny as it sounds, if discipline can be done in a loving yet stern and forceful way, it is very effective. Words, even for our young ones, always do the trick.

My wife and I don't subscribe to self-help books, magazines or the doctor's opinion for guidance on this. We just do what seems natural and fair.

[Rainraven]

The thing with discipline is that it is the first step in teaching your child right from wrong. Whether it's 'time out' or a smack on the butt, your child is first going to make the distinction that when they do a certain behaviours, punishment follows. Later they will learn that this is because some things are right and others are wrong and higher order reasoning. If used as a tool for this learning process I think smacking is ok.

However it should never be done when a parent is angry or out of control. Then a child will associate the hitting with a loss of temper and begin to think that violence is an ok way to show thier emotions.

[Amapola]

Now in the distance I find it terribly hilarious when I remember my mother chasing me around the living-room to give me a couple of spanks on the bum. :D They stung a bit but the biggest thing about it was the sound. Now I think it's funny and harmless.

[Idun]

Is corporal punishment an acceptable means of disciplining children?


Just a light spanking on boys, in that case. Hard, very painful beatings are not acceptable I think. I also think it can psychologically damage the children and they can develop many kinds of mental disorders as adults because of it, and become emotionally very shut.

For example, abusers, killers and men who generally are violent almost all grew up in homes where the father was physically abusive. The pattern often repeats itself, I think.

[Jäger]

For example, abusers, killers and men who generally are violent almost all grew up in homes where the father was physically abusive.
That's modern social science for you, the problem is that irresponsible violence has been exercised, meaning that the child can make no relation to right or wrong, because it gets beaten arbitrarily.
I do not know how it was in other countries, but the whole generation of my grandfather got heavy beatings, and they didn't spawn nearly as much abusers, killers, etc. as our current "non violent" society.

[Poltergeist]

Is corporal punishment an acceptable means of disciplining children?

It is necessary evil, that's it. Rearing children without occasional spanking is virtually impossible. This modern craze whereby people can even end up in jail or even have their children abducted from themselves by the state only for having lightly corporally punished their children, is simply monstruous and preposterous.

[Ice]

It's acceptable

My father beat the shit out of me when i was as a child (fist, belt, cue stick). I've never cried even when i was just a kid. I've never cried in my whole life. My father is not a drunkard or psycho, i was worser than bart simpson. I think it was good for my development .I'm straight, have a good personality, my heart is in the right place. I would be really pissed off if my father only beat me. I saw him fighting with other people too (during wedding parties, my soccer games etc). To be honest I am proud i'm his son.

[PetiteParisienne]

My brother-in-law, who is a child psychologist, wrote about this for his dissertation. There have been a number of studies carried out that show that positive reinforcement is the most effective method of avoiding challenging behaviour. Corporal punishment perpetuates a cycle of violence, blurring lines between respect and fear, which does not foster actual discipline.

My little boy is almost 3 years old, and I couldn't imagine raising a hand to him. Consistent ground rules and patience enforcing them are all that has been needed to keep him in check. He has his tantrums and he likes to push me and my husband to our limits, as any normal child will. But I don't feel there would ever be a justifiable reason to inflict pain and terror on him. He learns through guidance, and not fear of getting hurt.

[Hàkon]

No, not in any way, ffs.

There are several reasons, my main argument being the myriad of detrimental effects it has on the developing brain.

Corporal punishment is a well-studied subject, and most, if not all (because I haven't read them all), studies point to impaired cognitive abilities and a disturbed development of empathy as direct effects, among other things, at the slightest regular implementation of it. Which, if not actively worked against, most often fester as the child reaches adulthood. Apparently, this has been known (yes, confirmed and confirmed times over again) since the 70's.

Now, if we disregard the above, let us see what the general consensus is on the issue of men hitting women and able-bodied assaulting the disabled. (We are looking at the act when not in a life-threatening situation, not what provoked it.)

When the regular sized man hits the regular sized woman, we generally frown upon it. Why? Rationally and instinctively, because of the disparity in power.

When an able-bodied person assaults a disabled person, guess what? We frown upon it. And why is that? Because we rationally and instinctively understand that the disparity in power renders the disabled comparably defenceless.

Why then could it possibly be alright for a parent to hit a child? There are a very few human relations in which the disparity of power is as great as that in the relationship between parent and child.

We don't choose our parents, the child is seldom responsible for the context in which it finds itself, unlike the woman who can choose to remove herself from an abusive relationship.

For the reasons above, corporal punishment is only a resort for the blatantly idiotic, in every way lazy and undoubtedly cruel.