what makes a child become a black sheep of the family?

[Lulletje Rozewater]

usually they feel out of place and like no one understands where they are coming from or how they feel. Also parents like to keep too much "control" on the child as well, and personally still at my age I don't like the idea of anyone trying to control me....but I didn't rebel cause my parents kept the attitude that "whats good for the goose is good for the gander" (I have 3 sisters). So
I got to figure things out for myself and make my own decisions. You only become the black sheep of the family cause the family is too closed minded to accept their children for who they are (seeing as they didn't turn out the way their parents wanted ). Also, I am personally seeing a lot of young children being raised in spoiled attitude families that allow the child to do whatever they want and get whatever they want...so if the behavior is allowed in the early years I am personally glad to see that the parents would get what is coming to them in the later years because they decided not to be parents when the child was young. (and all of a sudden they want to try and be parents when the child is in his/her teens and is completely confused about life).

This not how I see the above
It is brilliant to be the black sheep,you do your own thing.
You make lots of enemies
Above all,you become independent

What is your opinion and are you a black sheep??

[Brynhild]

A very interesting question! I would definitely say that I am, for a variety of reasons.

Even as a child I believed in otherworldly magic, and I continued to believe in magic - long after I was meant to have grown out of it.

I was always questioning the family authority, quite rebellious. That could've been because I was the youngest of four (1 brother, 2 sisters) but I always carved my own path and I learned to be independent from an early age.

I kept myself apart from the family unit, even if I saw them on a regular basis. It didn't bother me too much if I went to see a movie by myself or retreat to my room and read a good book.

My taste in music is pretty outrageous at the best of times. I would listen to stuff that my family have never heard of!

My ancestors are far more interesting to me as people. Nobody in my immediate family upholds the same passion.

Myths and legends have always been fascinating, along with ancient and modern history. My spiritual path has always been, and still is, different to the others. I never talk about it to them because they wouldn't understand. Being the black sheep could be considered a curse, but I've been blessed in networking with those whose ideology is more like my own. It used to bother me that I couldn't quite connect with my family as well as I liked, but I can look at the bigger picture and see the true meaning of my being.

[Treffie]

Ok, perhaps it's because you're a male? You have 3 sisters and no brothers, right?

My father was in a very similar situation, but he had 2 sisters and no brothers. His mother always praised the 2 daughters, sent them to private schools etc but never complimented my father on his abilities. What transpired though was that the sisters were as stupid as dogshit and ended up with no formal qualifications after leaving school - all that they ended up with was plum accents and a habit of looking down upon everyone.

My father on the on the other hand went to Grammar school, all due to hard work on his behalf, and went to University (the first in his family). Not only was my father the only one with a qualification, but he in my opinion he was by far the most balanced out of all the siblings.

[Lulletje Rozewater]

Ok, perhaps it's because you're a male? You have 3 sisters and no brothers, right?

My father was in a very similar situation, but he had 2 sisters and no brothers. His mother always praised the 2 daughters, sent them to private schools etc but never complimented my father on his abilities. What transpired though was that the sisters were as stupid as dogshit and ended up with no formal qualifications after leaving school - all that they ended up with was plum accents and a habit of looking down upon everyone.

My father on the on the other hand went to Grammar school, all due to hard work on his behalf, and went to University (the first in his family). Not only was my father the only one with a qualification, but he in my opinion he was by far the most balanced out of all the siblings.
See the :) on my face.
My three sisters did get a qualification of a sort.My youngest sister could be qualified as a shit house.She bled my mother's bank account dry, did not mind ,I was in South Africa and I had a few large diamonds saved from my blood trip to the Congo.
Those were the days of rampokkers and pirating and the devil may care attitude
I did not at first,only 2 years economy at University,but studied later MBA
Of the class of 40 people only 4 got the qualification.
The beauty of being a black sheep-said in post 2-is the total lack of respect for your superiors in business life.One is not loyal to the company but to the job and do they hate it.

[Lulletje Rozewater]

A very interesting question! I would definitely say that I am, for a variety of reasons.

Even as a child I believed in otherworldly magic, and I continued to believe in magic - long after I was meant to have grown out of it.

I was always questioning the family authority, quite rebellious. That could've been because I was the youngest of four (1 brother, 2 sisters) but I always carved my own path and I learned to be independent from an early age.

I kept myself apart from the family unit, even if I saw them on a regular basis. It didn't bother me too much if I went to see a movie by myself or retreat to my room and read a good book.

My taste in music is pretty outrageous at the best of times. I would listen to stuff that my family have never heard of!

My ancestors are far more interesting to me as people. Nobody in my immediate family upholds the same passion.

Myths and legends have always been fascinating, along with ancient and modern history. My spiritual path has always been, and still is, different to the others. I never talk about it to them because they wouldn't understand. Being the black sheep could be considered a curse, but I've been blessed in networking with those whose ideology is more like my own. It used to bother me that I couldn't quite connect with my family as well as I liked, but I can look at the bigger picture and see the true meaning of my being.

Something like:I had a second birth when my spirit and my ancestors loved one another and were married

[Rainraven]

I think it would be somewhat impossible for me to be a black sheep in my family. I have only one sibling (an older sister) and divorced parents. We are very much a family of individuals. My opinion on the matter though is that there are two kinds of black sheep.

Those who seperate themselves from their family. Be it due to family feuds, a dislike of an aspect of the family life or simply a lack of common ground with the rest of the family.

And,

Those who are forced from their family. Some families can be very strict with how they want to be seen and how they believe other family members should behave. This can lead to the exclusion of one family member if they are not seen 'fit'.

My parents have always been very accepting of everything my sister and I do. They see their role to love us and guide us in the right direction. But in the end if we behave differently to how they would prefer they will still accept it. Because in the end, you only get one family, and you can't chose them so it's best to make the most of the one you've got! :)

[Barreldriver]

I am a black sheep for similar reasons as the ones Brynhild specified.

I unlike my kin have a passion for studying ancestral mythos and legends, and I have a taste for genealogy, none of my other kin in my immediate family could care less and bash me whenever I mention it as if I'm speaking Satanic drivel (They're hard core Southern Baptists that now live in the North lol) probably why I post so much about it online, need someone to share the information with since most of my family do not wish to receive the spoils of my research.


I was a trouble maker in school, frequently suspended and put in detentions, my kin saw me as a bad apple and demonized me at times, as I grew older and proved my strength and work ethic they laid off the criticisms and have shown more support in terms of myself as a worthy member of the family, however they still attempt to evangelize which annoys me to all hell.

My musical tastes were a biggy, my musical interests do not fit well with Southern Baptist ideology.

[Tabiti]

Yes, I'm definetely a black sheep according to my relatives due to these reasons:

- I don't look or behave like most girls - make-up, clothes, disco clubs, boys, etc;
- I'm not a "lady" as my mother and grandmother used to be and expected me to be.
- I'm going to have "not very proper - male" profession - railway engineer (dispatcher, movement director, train and station-master, etc);
- I'm nationalist (nazi or fascist according to them);
- I don't have girlfriends, therefore I'm completely lost in girly things;
- I listen to quite strange music (noise as they call it);
- I eat healthy - no sugar, white flour, artificial foods. I almost never make exeptions with my diet, even on special occasions;
- I use herbs and naturopathy instead of medicines. I just don't trust doctors due to many reasons;
- I'm not interested in TV shows, stars, serials, etc "public life";
- I'm not follower of any official religion, not an atheist;
- I'm with a man they can't stand, just because he is like myself;

To be honest, my interests conserning Mystics, Occultism and Natural medicine were awaken by my mother at some degree, so she doesn't sees that strange. Only my father thinks I'm really sick person, since he is the most average guy from the crowd you can imagine.
But as a whole, my family seems to have much troubles with my identity. Anyway, I won't change myself due to the stupid crowd. I'm not black sheep, not a sheep at all. They are sheep!

[Amarantine]

No idea, natal chart I suppose. I am still black sheep...and usually socialize with the other sheep (black:P).

[Phlegethon]

Well, I have been a black sheep right for the start. Never cared what why peers did or wanted, never backed down, always duked it out till the final curtain, even if it would have been smarter to just give it up and move on.

My family never cared about my interests or my views but by now have realized that there is nothing they can do about it. We are not very close (although we only live about ten minutes apart from each other) and even the two or three events per year where the family comes together I could do without. As long as I can remember I have been alone, basically spending most of my life in libraries, museums, and flea markets. I would not like it any other way.

[Sally]

I was never the conventional, bubbly socialite my mother and step-father so desperately wanted me to be. I tried for about five years to zombify myself in a lavish house, but the anesthetized suburban existence didn't agree with me. I know firsthand (as trite as it sounds) that money does not buy happiness. Frankly, I'm happier now, and I have next to nothing. ;)

Also, I am too perversely stubborn and too Catholic for my family, but they no longer have to concern themselves with me. I am thousands of miles away, and I have no intention of returning. Ever.

[Barreldriver]

I guess I'm lucky in my situation, I'm still a black sheep, but it's not rubbed in my face anymore, my behavior's have become known and tolerated as long as I don't cause trouble for the kin. I still want to be a part of my family, family is very important to me, but I still want my "distance".

[Æmeric]

It would be very hard to become a blacksheep in my family what with some of the things some people have done & yet are not ostracized. My political & social views bring me the closest to being blacksheeped.

[Bloodeagle]

My family is to dysfunctional to have any cohesion of opinion.