♥ SR's Lounge- Tips and Ideas for Dating (for boys and gals!) ♥

[SilverKnight]

http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/3118/203058973ab4d37f2afb.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/689/203058973ab4d37f2afb.jpg/)



Шεℓ¢◎ღ℮ ❣







Feel free to share yours dating tips, experiences and more !



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[SilverKnight]

Before I used to be... well a "noob" when it came to girls and dating, I used to be a party guy (not so much anymore as I'm engaged and wouldn't be to reasonable to go out into the wild :D). Fortunately met my fiancée on a dating site and then went on a first day that changed everything... Here are some of my tips for dudes...



What to do......
http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/2299/80788277.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/33/80788277.jpg/)


On a club, a party, or just a meeting at a friend's house.. if you see a chick you like and want to start a conversation, tell her your name first example: "Hey, I'm Sebastian". Give her a soft handshake and giver her some space to show that you really care for her personal bubble.



Be 100% yourself.

Be/act confident and smile while maintaining eye contact.

Allow her to talk about herself (about 70% of the time or so) and pay attention to what she has to say (girls love attention and that you care).



If there's music, invite her to dance. Examples: "can I show you some moves", "would you mind dancing with me". Ask her first if she wants, if she asks you, don't be so shy but neither too hesitant.



If there are other activities other then dancing show her you're willing to share with her, show her you're an interesting guy, and again follow the previous steps and you'll be set :thumb001:


What not to do.....
http://img405.imageshack.us/img405/4893/89345841.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/405/89345841.jpg/)


Don't ever tell her your name when you first speak to her (this will show indirectly, that you're hesitant about her.



Don't ever act too shy and ask and say things to "impress" her, they will smell it.

Don't talk too much about yourself, let her speak as well. Talk about 30% of the time, and when you do tell her interesting things and good questions.


Don't ever get drunk to impress her, most girls hate guys who drink a lot and some might perceive them as an alcoholic.


In a relationship.

Be consistent, don't change your character, be yourself all the times just like when you met her the first time.


Don't be mean, abusive, but neither let her take advantage of you ( not saying that she will but some girls do and like "the bad boy character" but not all so be careful).

Be romantic most time, show her how much you appreciate her, and if she's a simple girl do the same and surprise her with a simple but nice gift.

Girls love change, so always try to change things around at times.

Don't be a sex addict and show her that is more then just sex, otherwise she might think that you just love her for sex.

[Supreme American]

^^ Great advice, guys!

[la bombe]

My number one advice when it comes to dating: BE HONEST! Say what you mean and mean what you say, even if it's not what the other person wants to hear.

[Stefan]

tell her interesting things and good questions.

How can you tell if somebody is interested in what you have to say other than directly asking? This is for people in general I suppose, not limited to a romantic relationship. By this, I mean if they're truly interested to accept a heavy amount of detail on a daily basis, but without the narcissistic arrogance typically involved in a self-centered personality type. I tend to get very involved with my interests far more than other people do, which I suppose is an effect of some inherent social disorders I have, although it is integral to my personality-type. In ways, I can be neglectful without realizing it. On internet fora this isn't apparent because each forum is topic-specific; however, in real life this is rarely the case. I've asked people this question in real life(family, my therapist, etc.) They can't seem to give a clear answer, usually something along the lines of telling through eye contact or the hints in their responses. I can't pick up on these signals though.


On a club, a party, or just a meeting at a friend's house.

Any other places people meet with far smaller groups(3 or 4 at most) and no sensory distractions(music/lighting/etc?)

[2Cool]

I start the pre-dating process by discussing haplogroups with a girl. If they don't match it's a no go. I gotta keep my genes as pure as possible.



Nah just kidding. Just be yourself and honest. ;)

[Supreme American]

Nah just kidding. Just be yourself and honest. ;)

And study racial crime statistics, social disease statistics, etc. if you're dumb enough to consider non-whites.

[SilverKnight]

How can you tell if somebody is interested in what you have to say other than directly asking? This is for people in general I suppose, not limited to a romantic relationship. By this, I mean if they're truly interested to accept a heavy amount of detail on a daily basis, but without the narcissistic arrogance typically involved in a self-centered personality type. I tend to get very involved with my interests far more than other people do, which I suppose is an effect of some inherent social disorders I have, although it is integral to my personality-type. In ways, I can be neglectful without realizing it. On internet fora this isn't apparent because each forum is topic-specific; however, in real life this is rarely the case. I've asked people this question in real life(family, my therapist, etc.) They can't seem to give a clear answer, usually something along the lines of telling through eye contact or the hints in their responses. I can't pick up on these signals though.

This is way you always be yourself, a good hearted girl will always appreciate good answers and descriptions of your life and yourself :)


Any other places people meet with far smaller groups(3 or 4 at most) and no sensory distractions(music/lighting/etc?)
Good question. Bars, at a birthday party?, park, anyplace could be a good scenario, but it's mot then just the place but how you talk to that person that counts.

[Stefan]

Honesty isn't a problem for me. Well, unless you consider being too blunt a problem. :P While I can pretend, it is too tiring for me to do that. I suppose if somebody isn't interested in the topics I bring up they'll tell me(or at least I'd hope they would.) So far nobody has told me that, and I'm unsure whether or not it is because they're being polite or whether it is because they are truly interested.

As for the location, it is quite tricky. I don't do well in large groups. I tend to get mentally overloaded and/or sensory overloaded because I'm not able to filter out all the conversations going around and focus on the pertinent one. So 3 or 4 people at most is pretty much all I can manage. It is a problem that causes me to pretty much shut down all functionality, need to leave the area, because it is just too much.

Sorry for being exceptionally atypical, I know other people do not have these problems and your advice works very well in regards to their functionality.

[Veneda]

My idea for dating is not innovative ;)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-D490RGbubr4/TnNRPYWX8rI/AAAAAAAABxQ/gXodQuV4nrk/s1600/heart_brain.png

[SilverKnight]

Honesty isn't a problem for me. Well, unless you consider being too blunt a problem. :P While I can pretend, it is too tiring for me to do that. I suppose if somebody isn't interested in the topics I bring up they'll tell me(or at least I'd hope they would.) So far nobody has told me that, and I'm unsure whether or not it is because they're being polite or whether it is because they are truly interested.

As for the location, it is quite tricky. I don't do well in large groups. I tend to get mentally overloaded and/or sensory overloaded because I'm not able to filter out all the conversations going around and focus on the pertinent one. So 3 or 4 people at most is pretty much all I can manage. It is a problem that causes me to pretty much shut down all functionality, need to leave the area, because it is just too much.

Sorry for being exceptionally atypical, I know other people do not have these problems and your advice works very well in regards to their functionality.

I understand, it's sort of like a computer with little Ram and too much to do it get overloaded '^^

You're not being atypical, now the atypical will be trying to force yourself or being someone you are not just to talk to people. People will notice this especially if it's a female.

I advise you try slowly, with small groups and then advance into larger groups of people. You'll then be able to merge your conversation with more other chicks int he group.

[SilverKnight]

:coffee:

More advises / tips to share and discuss are welcome ;)


http://img809.imageshack.us/img809/9349/clubdancing.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/809/clubdancing.jpg/)

[SilverKnight]

just reviving thread....

[SilverKnight]

PamWnKC5ueY

[Drawing-slim]

...

[Longbowman]

What to do......
http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/2299/80788277.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/33/80788277.jpg/)


On a club, a party, or just a meeting at a friend's house.. if you see a chick you like and want to start a conversation, tell her your name first example: "Hey, I'm Sebastian". Give her a soft handshake and giver her some space to show that you really care for her personal bubble.


What not to do.....


Don't ever tell her your name when you first speak to her (this will show indirectly, that you're hesitant about her.


Great advice thanks.

[Celestia]

Once a guy lied to me and said he was a secret agent. I choked on my drink.

By whatever means necessary, don’t do this.

[Incal]

[CENTER]http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/3118/203058973ab4d37f2afb.jpg (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/689/203058973ab4d37f2afb.jpg/)



Шεℓ¢◎ღ℮ ❣


^^ WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

[SocialPhobiak]

I have nice tactics but it doesn't work for everyone ;)

[SilverKnight]

Once a guy lied to me and said he was a secret agent. I choked on my drink.

By whatever means necessary, don’t do this.

US guys should ALWAYS keep it real. That's my policy.


^^ WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

Idk my dude ^, just me back then on my cringe game.. I don't know that guy lol

[Mopi Licinius Crassus]

Silverknight Bruv...what have you learnt about women and dating in the 10 years since you made this thread

Would you still give the same advice now ? :thumb001:

[Ylla]

One piece of advice I would give is to be yourself (within reason, of course). I say this because it leads to other positive characteristics being shown (your true personality, confidence and charm). It doesn't matter if for eg, you say something strange, that's the human side to us, if she can't handle that then do you really forsee a serious future with that person? Somebody who doesn't like your quirks and gets the ick very quickly. Imo that's a red flag and that person is not for you.

[Celestia]

One piece of advice I would give is to be yourself (within reason, of course). I say this because it leads to other positive characteristics being shown (your true personality, confidence and charm). It doesn't matter if for eg, you say something strange, that's the human side to us, if she can't handle that then do you really forsee a serious future with that person? Somebody who doesn't like your quirks and gets the ick very quickly. Imo that's a red flag and that person is not for you.

I agree 100%
Don’t be afraid to talk about your actual interests. It’s pretty cute when a guy gets really nerdy into a subject they like. Plus it’s nice to see your genuine side.

[SocialPhobiak]

Girls want a real man.
they want to be protected, to feel that you are a strong person.
never complain about anything.
Show them that you can handle any problem.
and if you can be a macho tough guy if you beat her up it will drive that woman crazy..(every now and then you have to slap her and show who's the master.)
You have to be as firm as possible on the bed.

In short, girls love real warrior men.
but if you are not physically attractive, whatever you do is useless.
I'm talking about a masculine attraction. You must have a big gun,(If you do not have these feature, you will be cheated.) a hairy masculine body. etc.

Women always want better men and compare the man they have to other men.

You must be the most manly thing that ever happened to her.

[Rædwald]

For gentleman & the ladies.

Be yourself, don't try to give an impression of what you think the other person wants. Otherwise, what inevitably happens down the road is that you slip back into your true self, and your partner is not going to know who that person is. Naturally, conflict is going to arise.

Be honest, don't hide your feelings on anything. If someone does something that doesn't sit right with you, tell them. Otherwise, there is a human tendency for resentment to build over time, these things will stack, and you will act against the interest of your partner and the relationship inevitably, and quite likely subconsciously.

If they don't want or like you for who you are sorry, disregard them. There are more people in the world. There is no person who is worth sacrificing your personal sovereignty for. This will stop people from wasting your time if someone is clearly not invested in you then leave.

If you choose to ignore that, your relationship will fail. If it doesn't it will only be because you've sacrificed yourself to it.

[Colonel Frank Grimes]

Start the conversation with the following, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. It's up to you."

[frankhammer]

Great advice thanks.

Whenever I see "bubbles" today, I just wan't to pop them.

[Hexachordia]

I am not a popular guy so no much advices for dating, but coping with failures. I never get the girls that I had first-signt crashes with, probably fate or something. But had once developed good mutuality after let-try relationship. I just want to say, it is OK not to win the girl you feel so good about who you just can not resist for no apparent reasons, boys usually once or twice experience this situation in life. If she does not respond to you, just cope with it however painful you feel. Go outdoor, make some common friends, develop some skills or techniques, then after years you will be grateful that she did not respond to you. So this is for girls, but bad boys respond to most girls though, if this happens, why don`t hide your feeling and let slip, if they know they would persecute after you unless they have unknown sides. If to chase a nerd like me(probably the only sort of men that would be a question for girls), girls must show optimistic character, especially combined with surprising skills in cooking or sports and other life knowledges, but do not try to force your bright sides unto them.

[Tongio]

For boys, first date call her to somewhere cheap or free, like a park, so u 2 can talk.

[SilverKnight]

One piece of advice I would give is to be yourself (within reason, of course). I say this because it leads to other positive characteristics being shown (your true personality, confidence and charm). It doesn't matter if for eg, you say something strange, that's the human side to us, if she can't handle that then do you really forsee a serious future with that person? Somebody who doesn't like your quirks and gets the ick very quickly. Imo that's a red flag and that person is not for you.


Silverknight Bruv...what have you learnt about women and dating in the 10 years since you made this thread

Would you still give the same advice now ? :thumb001:

Basically what Ylla said above sums it all up \ answers your question. I had to learn that the HARD way.

[Valkyrion]

There's no tips for dating. It's all about genetic determinism, unfortunately.

When obese guy dances it's cringe, but when tall muscular guy with proportional facial structure do the same, then it's hot.

Autistic person can say something and end-up looking weird, but neurotypical person saying exact same thing (especially if that person is attractive) may end-up looking smart.

Same as bosses are allowed to yell at subordinates, but it's considered as unacceptable and violent behavior on work place if it happens to be the other way around.

So fuck dating and hook-up culture. It's purest manifestation of humanity's shallowness. It's nothing but transaction and mutual exploitation.

There may be only few sparks of light left in this dark world.

[Anglo-Celtic]

Girls want a real man.
they want to be protected, to feel that you are a strong person.
never complain about anything.
Show them that you can handle any problem.
and if you can be a macho tough guy if you beat her up it will drive that woman crazy..(every now and then you have to slap her and show who's the master.)
You have to be as firm as possible on the bed.

In short, girls love real warrior men.
but if you are not physically attractive, whatever you do is useless.
I'm talking about a masculine attraction. You must have a big gun,(If you do not have these feature, you will be cheated.) a hairy masculine body. etc.

Women always want better men and compare the man they have to other men.

You must be the most manly thing that ever happened to her.

I have a question for you. Where was John Candy on the night that you were conceived?