Most useless inventions ever

[Absinthe]

I'll start with a couple of Telemarketing-like devices :D

The T-Shirt Folder :lightbul:

http://www.flipfold.com/acatalog/shirt-folding-ani.gif


The steps are in the name just flip, flip, flip and fold. It’s that simple! Folding laundry will take less time, and you’ll get perfectly folded laundry every time! Use FlipFold on almost anything. It works on any shirt including folding long sleeve shirts, short sleeve shirt folder, folding tank tops, button down shirts and collared shirts. Use FlipFold for folding your pants, shorts, skirts even folding towels and sheets! It’s so easy that you can teach your three year old child to use FlipFold! And this folding tool has even been husband tested!


The Banana Guard :fponder:

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2008-03-22-bguard.jpg


Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.
The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the Banana Guard closed. The Banana Guard is of course dishwasher safe for easy cleaning.

:lol00002:

[Útrám]

Japanese inventions (http://images.google.is/images?hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=com.ubuntu:en-US:unofficial&um=1&ei=QRcdStqiMMWN-AbqvYz_Bg&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=japanese+inventions&spell=1)

[Absinthe]

I believe this one wins :D

http://yourfaceisanadvert.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/crazy-japanese-invention-3.jpg

[Treffie]

Balloon propelled by eagles or vultures
Patent no 863087, issued 1887

First, catch your eagle or vulture. Then attach the large bird to a balloon cupola, point its beak in desired direction, then sit back, relax and enjoy the in-flight snacks and movie. There’s a kind of simple genius to this idea, but a few potential snags make themselves apparent. Yes, there will be protests by animal lovers, but perhaps more pertinent is the fact that large birds of prey or carrion are notoriously uncooperative in matters of providing predictable and directable propulsion. Oh, and won’t they peck holes in the balloon?

[Rainraven]

This reminds me of an article that was in the universities magazine a few weeks ago..


Chindogu is the art of inventing problem-solving devices that end up creating more problems than they solve.

Japanese ofcourse, but still quite hilarious!

Some examples:


“Keeping Up Appearances” – Sick of seeing your flowers from the same dull angle? This handy contraption will solve all your woes. The built-in 240-volt motor packs some serious punch and, by spinning the base on its axis, allows for glorious 360-degree views of all your ornamental flora. Gone are the days of static vases; the humble bouquet has entered the 21st century.

“Battery Powered Battery Charger” – The most unuseless award goes to Gregor Campbell for his innovative solution to spent batteries. This contraption will come in particularly handy during power outages. Who hasn’t found themselves in possession of the wrong type of battery at least once? Whether you need AAs to power up your remote or some 4.5 volts to get your ghetto blaster blasting, the Battery Powered Battery Charger allows you to charge them up using whichever batteries you have handy. The charger boasts a number of additional features and scores especially highly for its portability and robust construction.

Article (http://www.critic.co.nz/about/features/196?page=2)

[Lady L]

I believe this one wins :D

http://yourfaceisanadvert.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/crazy-japanese-invention-3.jpg

Now that just looks ridiculous:D

[Eldritch]

In Japan they have USB everything: USB toasters, USB eletric toothbrushes, etc. Can't Japnese nerds really not get up from their computers long enough to go to the bathroom to brush their teeth, or to toast some bread in the kitchen? It wouldn't surprise me if they had USB dildoes. In fact I'd be surprised if they don't have them.

[Eldritch]

As for the banana guard, how come they don't have similar guards fpr apples, oranges, pears, plums etc? Could old Sigmund explain it?

Then again, it might be fun if women carried a banana in a banana guard, along with two hairy kiwis in their respective kiwi guards in the purses.

[Absinthe]

In Japan they have USB everything: USB toasters, USB eletric toothbrushes, etc. Can't Japnese nerds really not get up from their computers long enough to go to the bathroom to brush their teeth, or to toast some bread in the kitchen? It wouldn't surprise me if they had USB dildoes. In fact I'd be surprised if they don't have them.
Sure they do (http://blog.lesperlesduchat.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/b2evo/perles/dessins/usb_dildo.jpg) :D

[Inese]

loooool look this!!! :D :D :D

http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2008/gulak-2-enlarged.jpg

http://www.deanhunt.com/images/firebox.jpg

[chap]

Drinking hats

http://www.baronbob.com/Drink-HatYellow-main.jpg


Tie dimpler

http://www.men-access.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/dimpler-tie-tool.jpg

[Lady L]

Drinking hats
http://www.baronbob.com/Drink-HatYellow-main.jpg


Says Who :p

Its a Southerner thing :p:D;) Only with beers! :D

[Äike]

Communism
http://msp264.photobucket.com/albums/ii198/prempeha/Communism.jpg

[Karaten]

The Wheel


http://www.principiosdeconomia.org/EHELP/index_archivos/prehistory/imagenes/wheel_ico.gif

[Eldritch]

The Wheel


http://www.principiosdeconomia.org/EHELP/index_archivos/prehistory/imagenes/wheel_ico.gif

What about fire?

[Psychonaut]

You've gotta love the Japanese:

http://tommcmahon.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/chindogu2.jpg

http://www.concurringopinions.com/archives/images/japanese_invention.jpg

http://picdit.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/hay-fever-hat.jpg

http://onconvergence.typepad.com/on_convergence/WindowsLiveWriter/WhatW.0andJapaneseInventionsHaveinCommon_9985/image%7B0%7D%5B2%5D.png

http://www.photopumpkin.com/wp-content/uploads/crazy-japanese-invention-1.jpg

[lei.talk]

perfect posture - made easyBuy yours, Now! (http://www.iposture.com/store/)

[Tabiti]

http://prikachi.com/files/866455r.jpg
Can you guess what is that?
A single box for lady sanitary towel...
Weird is that most females find that "cute" not useless...

[lei.talk]

Introducing the most technologically advanced piece of clothing since the Hypercolor t-shirt ... the LED scrolling belt buckle. And this is the cheapest place to get them anywhere. You probably have a lot of questions, so let’s just get right to those.

Does it come with batteries and instructions?
Yes!

Can I program it with custom phrases?
Yep. It can hold up to six unique messages at a time, with each message being 256 characters long. You can change these messages at any time.

Can I change things like the speed of the messages and how bright the display is?
Yes.

Is this buckle compatible with the standard buckle belt?
Yes. We don’t sell actual belts, but you can probably use any existing buckle-style belt you have. Or get one at, like, any store.

Can I put my MP3s on it?
No.
über pwnagecould be yours (http://www.bustedtees.com/scrollingledbeltbuckle) :thumbs

[Smaland]

Drinking hats

http://www.baronbob.com/Drink-HatYellow-main.jpg


A drinking hat would be quite practical for a computer programmer who has a major project due the next day, and must stay up all night to finish it. Just load the drink holders with 32 oz cups of expresso. :)

[Inese]

Most useless inventions ever

http://www.linklane.com/hip-hop-music.jpg
Hiphop!! :mad:

[Germanicus]

[QUOTE=Psychonaut;51135]You've gotta love the Japanese:

Hey my mother would use this, she suffers from Glycoma and has trouble putting her drops in her eyes, i will show her this....heh heh

http://onconvergence.typepad.com/on_convergence/WindowsLiveWriter/WhatW.0andJapaneseInventionsHaveinCommon_9985/image%7B0%7D%5B2%5D.png

[Lars]

1. Non-adhesive tape
2. Solar Powered flashlight
3. Inflatable anchor
4. Smooth sandpaper
5. Waterproof sponge
6. Waterproof tea bag
7. Refractory matches


:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Tabiti]

http://www.medem.com/medem/images/ama/ama_brain_stroke_lev20_thebraineffectsstroke_01.gi f
Human brain. At least it turned into the most useless invention of nature in the last years...

[Jarl]

Most useless inventions ever

http://www.linklane.com/hip-hop-music.jpg
Hiphop!! :mad:

Ah! With this I have to agree. One only needs to visit an RNB club or watch a few HH/RNB clips on MTV to see what it's all about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPvqzwwtdjw

:D:cool::thumb001:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z4KESljkPM

:mmmm::laugh:

[Tabiti]

^ but signs like that make that "music" useful, at least for males :D

[Thorum]

http://www.padfield.com/clipart/BookCovers/creeds/images/Koran.jpg

http://www.hopeaglow.com/bible.GIF

http://www.jerusalem-gifts.com/media/7-13b-holy-water.jpg

http://phrenicea.com/juniorwalker.jpg

:p

[Eldritch]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPvqzwwtdjw

:D:cool::thumb001:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Z4KESljkPM

:mmmm::laugh:

I live in an immigrant ghetto, and it still surprises me how low some of the females of our race have sunk. I wonder, are niggers even anatomically capable of making love face to face?

[Tabiti]

Hey, Thorum, don't you know how many people in this world find their power in the books you mentioned:D
So, they are quite useful for some...

[lei.talk]

yes, but, the repetitive tearing-velcro (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Velcro) sound
is extremely annoying.

http://i44.tinypic.com/17tk09.jpg


http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-velcro-cat-ceiling.jpg
*

[Jarl]

I live in an immigrant ghetto, and it still surprises me how low some of the females of our race have sunk.

It's a mass-culture trend. It's on the radio, it's on MTV, its on Viva = it's cool! ;) I wouldn't blame ordinary girls or the masses in general, but the financial elites who make the decisions to promote and earn money on that crap.

[Osweo]

It's a mass-culture trend. It's on the radio, it's on MTV, its on Viva = it's cool! ;) I wouldn't blame ordinary girls or the masses in general, but the financial elites who make the decisions to promote and earn money on that crap.

I don't know, Jarl. Is my family really so extraordinary that we managed to resist all this shit? :confused: What's wrong with the masses? They baffle me. :(

[lei.talk]

guys buys this for her, but..

https://youtu.be/rVogg_0Hhusbuy yours here! (https://www.shakeweight.com/)


...she would enjoy this more.

https://youtu.be/1aUFZL9R04Ybuy yours here! (http://www.thane.com/products/fitness/3ml02/3ml.php)

[lei.talk]

https://i.imgur.com/TuXLpUM.gif (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toonie)

[Jackson]

I genuinely think these are great, i would buy them if they were marketed:

KxaWvJ-ziXA

5fXN7x7a5So

[lei.talk]

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me7lr6RwX41r4yiuj.jpghttp://makeupandbeauty.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/clean-dry-intimate-wash.jpg


The skin-whitening craze in asia has reached a new low - literally: washes and creams promising to lighten women's swarthy genitalia have hit the shelves for the first time in Thailand and India, sparking concerns that the beauty obsession with fairness has gone too far

In Thailand, Lactacyd White Intimate (http://www.lactacyd.ph/our-products/whitening) comes complete with a ten-stage color-chart to show how skin beautifies from swarthy to creamy white "within four weeks".

In India, an advertisement for Clean and Dry Intimate Wash promises a "brighter" vagina and better sex.

Fair skin has long been a status-symbol in Asia, where the market for skin-whitening products reached an estimated two billion dollars last year.

While demand shows no signs of slowing, the arrival of vagina-whiteners has incensed many women. One commentator in India described the washes as the "ultimate insult".

In Thailand, well-known politics-and-relationships blogger Kaewmala said (http://thaiwomantalks.com/2012/09/29/thai-craze-for-white-skin-how-far-does-it-go-and-where-will-it-end/) they are designed to make women feel insecure about their "little sisters" (vaginas). Furthermore, she asked: what will happen once women's feminine parts are all white? Will glow-in-the-dark vaginas be next?




https://youtu.be/6v-Cv4zgiW0



Late last week, an advertisment for Clean and Dry Intimate Wash, a Midas Care product that promises to bring “fairness and freshness” to a woman’s private parts, began attracting attention on the Internet after journalist Rupa Subramanya tweeted out a link to the commercial. Manjula Narayan gives us a rollercoaster account of how she captured that elusive inner glow.

Having a light, bright vagina has been my one big ambition. For years, I've looked at all the other women getting fantastic jobs, flying first class, marrying wonderful men who only ever beat them up as part of an erotic bedroom game, women who wander down Gurgaon's MG road unmolested by gangs of thugs or policemen and wondered, 'What do they have that I don't have?' The answer came to me in a blinding flash: they're fair everywhere; why, they're fair even down there.

Let me make it clear: I am obsessed with fairness. Before I step out into the blazing heat of Delhi's summer I always throw on enough sunblock to cause an eclipse, swaddle my face and my neck in a voluminous dupatta and wedge huge Jackie O sunglasses on my nose. I pull on flesh-coloured elbow gloves that make me look like Sushmita Sen with a face transplant but minus the liposuction and fake tits. Also, for as long as I can remember, I've been slathering on Fair & Lovely, using only those face washes that promise to slough off my brown skin and reveal the superbly roseate Caucasian dermis underneath, and spending a monthly fortune on gold facials. On very sunny days, I carry a dual purpose umbrella, one that morphs into a gun. Yes, I know, very Georgi Markov, but perfectly suited to conditions in the National Capital Region, I assure you.

Sadly, these measures have ensured that I look like layer cake: fair head, brown body and oh, not a purple vagina with blue spots, but definitely a dark one. Nobody says it out loud but few argumentative Indians want to discuss Derrida, Foucault and Chomsky with lips they can't see when the lights are off. By now you can probably tell I have one of those vaginas that insists on intellectualising everything, that spends an inordinate amount of time pondering about the Big Questions of Life, a genuine thinker, but one that, nevertheless, wants to be light, bright, pink-white - ah, the tragedy of the modern Indian woman, so smart, yet so utterly idiotic.

So, yeah, I have no problem with that TV spot except that at first, it made no sense. Why was the woman in the ad looking longingly at her husband/partner-whom-she's-been-sleeping-with-for-so-long-she-doesn't-even-notice-when-he-farts-in-bed? Didn't she have to plan out her day, rustle up a gourmet breakfast, make lists, okay, read the newspaper? Nah, how is she to get at the paper with the fartist hogging it? So she passes him a cup of coffee minus the strychnine. It would never do to murder a man before breakfast.

Besides, what would the 13-year-old house help, who hasn't been paid for the last three months, think? Next, the woman pops into the shower — the memsahib not the house help, who isn't allowed showers — and a line drawing appears. The animation specifies exactly where the mysterious Clean and Dry gets to work. Is it like Itch Guard, which kills the summer fungi that make Indian men scratch their balls even more than they are normally wont to? Then, the voiceover mentions brightness, shine, which translates to "magical melanin reduction" in the elaborate code of Indian adspeak. Finally, I see the light. This is a wonder product; it's an Itch Guard that promises to bleach my oyster. This is what I had been working towards all my life — achieving a light, bright vulva, a lit clit, a perfect pudendum, a cleft to beat all clefts, an utterly lovable labia.

I'm elated but also a bit alarmed. Clean and Dry is all very well, but where are the products to help me have a perfectly depilated snatch rivalling Sunny Leone's... because if it's stubbly, how the hell will the bedfellow even know I'm fair where it matters, at the core? I suppose some big conglomerate is awaiting reports on my venerable mons before launching a range of allied products. I and my new glow-in-the-dark hot button aren't complaining. I feel reborn. In celebration, my very vocal beaver has been quoting from the metaphysical poets, stealing lines from Eve Ensler and filling its thought bubbles with flashes of Georgia O'Keefe.

My confidence has surged. I intimidate even the boys from Karnal and Rohtak who drive into the NCR for their weekend gangbangs. When I, dressed in a sheer strappy top and itsy-bitsy shorts, swigging from a bottle of beer and blowing smoke rings into the air, saunter down the road past groups of binge-drinking men post, gasp, 8pm, all they do is whisper in terror: "Keep away from her. She's the possessor of a...a light, bright vagina!" Ah yes, my lovebox is a wonderful talisman, more effective than a nazar suraksha kavach, more potent than a loaded gun, and pretty damn good looking too.

Thanks to my favourite intimate wash, I now have a fantastic job; I've dumped the resident fartist for a trust fund millionaire who has long and thoughtful discussions on fascism and the Indian state with my labia; I am self-actualised.

Thank you, Clean and Dry, for turning my life around.


MANJULA NARAYAN (http://www.sunday-guardian.com/search?searchword=MANJULA%20NARAYAN)



https://youtu.be/8phEyKrxBZM

[StevenTylerAerosmith]

most useless invention is cottage cheese that is not very tasty

[ovidiu]

Bacon flavored dental floss

https://baconfreak.com/bacon-dental-floss/

Though some may not think it useless at all.