Should your husband or Bf hit another man who cracks on to you in an inappropriate way?

[Quorra]

It's an interesting concept because in time past a man may have even shot another for this type of thing.

[Anarch]

I know of a bloke who was hospitalised for hitting on the wrong girl.

Answer: yes.

[Edelmann]

That would be rather uncivilized, so no.

[Anarch]

That would be rather uncivilized, so no.
Civilisation, such as it stands, is highly overrated.

[Vixen]

I voted NO.
There´s really no reason to hit the guy... are you so primitive that you can´t tell him to back the fck off or just take your girl and walk away? If he insists you can get physical, but It´s not likely to end well. For either of you.

[Turkophagos]

Beat the shit out of him or die trying.

[PetiteParisienne]

I chose the third option. I like to see potential fights avoided.

[Queen B]

If he by any means lay a hand, yes. Kick his ass off. If not, f.e. say something, just talk to him and tell him to GTFO. If he continues, then , well, yeah

Some years ago, while I was single, I was out in a bar (where my ex-boyfriend worked) with 2 friends. A guy was standing behind me and touched me, and then he acted like "wasn't me'' which is what made me go craaaazy, but he was the only one around! My ex jumbed out of the bar to come and ''fight'' him, but I was too fast !!!
I pushed him down, he fall, and I started kicking him :lol:
The security guys came and kicked him out.

[The Alchemist]

No, he shouldn't be jealous. Anyway, if i'm annoyed by anyone i can defend myself very well.

[Anarch]

No, he shouldn't be jealous. Anyway, if i'm annoyed by anyone i can defend myself very well.

:roll eyes

Women logic. What makes you think it'd be out of concern for your well being?

[The Alchemist]

:roll eyes

Women logic. What makes you think it'd be out of concern for your well being?

Jealousy is often exagerated, compared to the happening facts. It's ME who decides what annoyes me and what doesn't, and eventually defend myself. Jealousy is more often just unsecurity.

[Quorra]

Jealousy is often exagerated, compared to the happening facts. It's ME who decides what annoyes me and what doesn't, and eventually defend myself. Jealousy is more often just unsecurity.

I believe what he means is, that it's about defending his feelings. It's for the man's mental health?

[Anarch]

Jealousy is often exagerated, compared to the happening facts. It's ME who decides what annoyes me and what doesn't, and eventually defend myself. Jealousy is more often just unsecurity.

ROFL. More women logic. This is comedy gold.

Have you heard of the east-Asian honour concept of 'face'? This is fairly similar. I'll pose a scenario and elaborate. Woman X and Man Y are going out on a date together after several months of being a socially recognised couple. They have dinner and decide to play pool at a bar they frequent. Man Y goes to the toilet and returns, and finds a sleazy and ethically questionable Man Z attempting to get friendly with Woman X. Woman X politely ignores him. Man X tells Man Z that Woman X is his girlfriend, and please fuck off. Man Z gets uppity, and Man Y breaks his nose, dropping him. Couple XY leave.

Why did this happen? Because, if a healthy man is in a relationship with a woman, he owns her. Which means: he reserves the full right and power to exclude others from enjoying the unique experiences he shares with her, meaning sex, romance, perhaps even child-rearing one day. To ignore such provocation as exhibited by Man Z in the above scenario, Man Y would not only be surrendering his ownership, but his status as a healthy, proud and respectable man, in the eyes of everyone else, but most especially, himself. He would have demonstrated himself to be a man who will quite happily accept other people walking all over him.

Men are from mars, women are from venus - you don't need to understand the logic, but it makes life easier if you can accept it. Just keep your mouth shut if your boyfriend decides to lash out at a sleazy prick who tries getting into your pants one day. Because if you go hysterical at him, there's a good chance he may just dump you right then and there. I've seen it before.

Note that this has absolutely nothing to do with your well being.

[Anarch]

I believe what he means is, that it's about defending his feelings. It's for the man's mental health?
Close enough.

[The Alchemist]

I believe what he means is, that it's about defending his feelings. It's for the man's mental health?

Obviously he defends his feelings, but i'm sick of too jealous people, the only thing which moves that kind of behaviour is FEAR. I mean, if someone is very jealous, it means that he's also very afraid. And i don't need afraid and unsecure people, so i rather run away.

[Anarch]

Obviously he defends his feelings, but i'm sick of too jealous people, the only thing which moves that kind of behaviour is FEAR. I mean, if someone is very jealous, it means that he's also very afraid. And i don't need afraid and unsecure people, so i rather run away.

Actually, fear has very little to do with it. It's about pride.

[The Alchemist]

ROFL. More women logic. This is comedy gold.

Have you heard of the east-Asian honour concept of 'face'? This is fairly similar. I'll pose a scenario and elaborate. Woman X and Man Y are going out on a date together after several months of being a socially recognised couple. They have dinner and decide to play pool at a bar they frequent. Man Y goes to the toilet and returns, and finds a sleazy and ethically questionable Man Z attempting to get friendly with Woman X. Woman X politely ignores him. Man X tells Man Z that Woman X is his girlfriend, and please fuck off. Man Z gets uppity, and Man Y breaks his nose, dropping him. Couple XY leave.

Why did this happen? Because, if a healthy man is in a relationship with a woman, he owns her. Which means: he reserves the full right and power to exclude others from enjoying the unique experiences he shares with her, meaning sex, romance, perhaps even child-rearing one day. To ignore such provocation as exhibited by Man Z in the above scenario, Man Y would not only be surrendering his ownership, but his status as a healthy, proud and respectable man, in the eyes of everyone else, but most especially, himself. He would have demonstrated himself to be a man who will quite happily accept other people walking all over him.

Men are from mars, women are from venus - you don't need to understand the logic, but it makes life easier if you can accept it. Just keep your mouth shut if your boyfriend decides to lash out at a sleazy prick who tries getting into your pants one day. Because if you go hysterical at him, there's a good chance he may just dump you right then and there. I've seen it before.

Note that this has absolutely nothing to do with your well being.

I'll summarize: if i'm having dinner with man Z, and when he goes to the toilet, another man tries to be friendly with me, i don't see anything bad in it (unless he lacks of respect towards me). So, i'd get very angry if man Z interferes. And even if he's my bf, i think i have the right to meet new people and have friendships, there's nothing bad with it.
Anyway i dislike any exagerate reaction especially in "friendly" contexts (like parties, clubs).
End of the story. I don't think i'm that "pervert" to have this vision.

[The Alchemist]

Actually, fear has very little to do with it. It's about pride.

Pride is useless. It's useful only as toilet paper. Without it, we all would have way less problems in social relationships.

[Anarch]

Pride is useless. It's useful only as toilet paper. Without it, we all would have way less problems in social relationships.

Without it, civilisation would not have arisen.


I'll summarize: if i'm having dinner with man Z, and when he goes to the toilet, another man tries to be friendly with me, i don't see anything bad in it (unless he lacks of respect towards me). So, i'd get very angry if man Z interferes. And even if he's my bf, i think i have the right to meet new people and have friendships, there's nothing bad with it.
Anyway i dislike any exagerate reaction especially in "friendly" contexts (like parties, clubs).
End of the story. I don't think i'm that "pervert" to have this vision.

There's a world of difference between a man politely introducing himself and having a conversation with you and someone actively trying to get into your pants. Most men aren't retarded enough to confuse the two. I never called you a pervert, I'm calling you deluded if you seriously think there is no logic nor reason for men to engage in violence when women are the objects of concern. Perhaps you should hang out with more Lebanese men.

[The Alchemist]

^ it's you who sound lebanese here, if you're going soon to beat someone who just approachs your woman. Or you would fit better as sicilian, maybe. Then again, i don't like jealous men, maybe cause i know where it leads.

[Quorra]

No Lebanese are the worst. Worse than blacks

[Leliana]

'Only if it was inappropriate attention like where I was physicaly touched'. :) A partner should be ready to defend me.

[Incal]

Just if the husband/bf would be willing to fight the other guy regardless of his size.

[Arrow Cross]

You should. Your man is there to reinforce you, not to serve as your portable house WBO champion.

[ikki]

lol.. guy beats guy up. Guy goes to jail and has to pay 200k. Girl gets homeless too as their home is sold to pay the beaten up guy.

Have fun being homeless and stuck with debts that you can never pay off while unemployed. (fired for being homeless)
Atleast the guy gets to sit in jail while unemployed and homeless.

[Sarmatian]

^ it's you who sound lebanese here, if you're going soon to beat someone who just approachs your woman. Or you would fit better as sicilian, maybe. Then again, i don't like jealous men, maybe cause i know where it leads.

It seems like you know very little about male mentality. With attitude like that you'll end up with a nice guy with no balls to achieve anything in his life.

Oh well, such a guy need a woman who knows how and where to lead :rolleyes:

[Strawberry]

no, because the man approaching the woman doesn't know she has a boyfriend, and whe he finds out, he usually will go away.. but if he persists, the girl should tell her boyfriend and he can do something about it, because its threatening the relationship. If a girl kept flirting with my boyfriend and she knew he had a girlfriend, i would want to hit her too.

[The Alchemist]

It seems like you know very little about male mentality. With attitude like that you'll end up with a nice guy with no balls to achieve anything in his life.

Oh well, such a guy need a woman who knows how and where to lead :rolleyes:

It's easy to judge me, eh :rolleyes:
I just need someone who knows how to act with consciousness in every context, and not a crazy bull :rolleyes:
A real, secure man doesn't need to beat up other people (or men), just to get respect and to feel "strong". I know that type of insecure men very well, and i keep them away :rolleyes:

[Heart of Oak]

certainly not, she should know what it's like in the world, an look out for herself......
Of coarse if you think it's more than just a total line, then maybe try the obvious point of she's with someone, if you think it's more than just a total line then maybe try the obvious in the middle of his nose......

[Sarmatian]

It's easy to judge me, eh :rolleyes:
I just need someone who knows how to act with consciousness in every context, and not a crazy bull :rolleyes:
A real, secure man doesn't need to beat up other people (or men), just to get respect and to feel "strong". I know that type of insecure men very well, and i keep them away :rolleyes:

Of course its easy to judge you by your own words. You don't understand there is no insecurity or craziness in this. A real, secure man is aggressive by nature.

Every single man has a wild primitive savage living inside of him. It might be covered by layers of cultural and civilized behavioral patterns but its still there and will always be. You can't cancel it and you shouldn't ignore it as you may face some dare consequences as result. In fact it is the main driving force of humanity and the whole civilization would've been impossible without it.

The best thing you can do is to accept and embrace it and help your man to learn how to use it to achieve something in his life. But you should be ready for him to be making sole decisions concerning both of you when it comes to interaction and competition with other men.

[Geronimo]

This thread needs a little Mary :D

[Anarch]

It's easy to judge me, eh :rolleyes:
I just need someone who knows how to act with consciousness in every context, and not a crazy bull :rolleyes:
A real, secure man doesn't need to beat up other people (or men), just to get respect and to feel "strong". I know that type of insecure men very well, and i keep them away :rolleyes:

You're in absolutely no position to dictate what a 'real, secure man' needs. You're improperly equipped to make that call. On top of everything I've previously said, violence can have an educative value. In this context, a punch to the face means 'hands off other people's goods'. An insecure man is the one who displays indifference towards the predatory behaviour of others. Not only does he feel no confidence in winning a confrontation, but he feels no confidence in his will to win such a confrontation. This is tolerance.. The alternative is that the man is simply bored of this particular woman and is quite happy to hand someone else the burden of her presence.

I don't know why you'd wish to be courted by a eunuch, but you're free to do so.


Every single man has a wild primitive savage living inside of him. It might be covered by layers of cultural and civilized behavioral patterns but its still there and will always be. You can't cancel it and you shouldn't ignore it as you may face some dare consequences as result. In fact it is the main driving force of humanity and the whole civilization would've been impossible without it.

Not every single man is as you say. There's more than a few that have been psychologically castrated to the extent they'll let other people walk all over them. As cynical as it sounds, such people deserve to be walked on. It's in the interest of the species.


^ it's you who sound lebanese here, if you're going soon to beat someone who just approachs your woman. Or you would fit better as sicilian, maybe. Then again, i don't like jealous men, maybe cause i know where it leads.

LOL. The bloke I know who was hospitalised for hitting on the wrong girl was Lebanese. Their predatory behaviour is well-known.

[Sarmatian]

Not every single man is as you say. There's more than a few that have been psychologically castrated to the extent they'll let other people walk all over them. As cynical as it sounds, such people deserve to be walked on. It's in the interest of the species.

True. I still believe such a psychological castration is often reversible. The best thing we can do is to violate them eunuchs whenever we can so they either wake up and grow some balls or won't reproduce at all ;)

[Anarch]

True. I still believe such a psychological castration is often reversible. The best thing we can do is to violate them eunuchs whenever we can so they either wake up and grow some balls or won't reproduce at all ;)

I agree. Psychological eunuchs need their reproductive options actively curtailed. Such character development would probably go a long way in helping rehabilitate European societies.

[Leadchucker]

Third option. Talk and flirting is one thing, innocent touching maybe in context of the moment. Jealousy driven knee jerk reaction is stupid, if you are secure in your realtionship there should be no jealousy. Moves of a sensual or inappriopiate kind, they're getting the snot whipped out of them even if I get my ass kicked in the effort.

[Lumi]

My boyfriend knows fine damn well that I can hold my own against a sleazeball trying to get in my pants.
If I require the assistance of my boyfriend, he'll come to my rescue.

If my boyfriend were to outright smack said sleazeball without a warning, I'd slap him.

[Germanicus]

My opinion is men who take liberties should.be punished appropriately...so yes a good slap.:)

[Vasconcelos]

My opinion is men who take liberties should.be punished appropriately...so yes a good slap.:)

I dunno, I think that if you have to hit, you should try to hit as brutally as you can...but that's me.

[Aces High]

Any sucka hits on my bitch and i throw down my flattened out carboard box and challenge him to a dance off.

[dralos]

i wouldnt hit him but i would tear him apart

[Kazimiera]

If some guy tries to chat me up and my husband is there, I let the guy know that this is my husband. Normally I find after that he apologises and tells my husband what a lovely wife he has. Crisis avoided. The guy got the message and he backs off. I find that guys usually withdraw if they know there is a husband or boyfriend in the picture, especially if he is physically present.

If some guy touched me and he didn't back off after I told him to, my husband will probably intervene. But only verbally. If the guy does it again, its a sign he's not so much interested in me as he is in having a fight at which point we would leave.

Usually I would prefer to take care of such a person myself. If I threaten to hit or actually do, it's a far greater embarrassment to be floored in public by a woman than taking a punch from a man, so they also tend to back down.

[Vixen]

Because, if a healthy man is in a relationship with a woman, he owns her.

I must respectfully disagree with this. My fiance is a very healthy man yet he does not have this "ownership" mentality. The only reason he would ever get violent with another man over me would be to defend my well being, not his pride.

[2Cool]

I say no because in the end it's the woman that's calling the shots. If I guy is hitting on my girlfriend and she says to stop since she has a boyfriend then what's the problem? The guy can't know she's taken just by looking at her. In a sense it's even flattering since other men want your chick. At least you know you're not dating some ugly chick. But if my girlfriend reciprocates his advances then I'd break up with her. However, if the guy continues to make advances after my girlfriend says no for a couple of times then there's going to be a problem.

[Quorra]

I say no because in the end it's the woman that's calling the shots. If I guy is hitting on my girlfriend and she says to stop since she has a boyfriend then what's the problem? The guy can't know she's taken just by looking at her. In a sense it's even flattering since other men want your chick. At least you know you're not dating some ugly chick. It's like you are with the girl only if other men approve of her or if you get to look good by having her. In my opinion that's even more of an ownership mentality .
But if my girlfriend reciprocates his advances then I'd break up with her. However, if the guy continues to make advances after my girlfriend says no for a couple of times then there's going to be a problem. It's all good in theory:p

[Marmie Dearest]

In extreme cases yes if I were touched, grabbed or groped. Otherwise I think verbal confrontations would be smarter.

[Bardamu]

I'll summarize: if i'm having dinner with man Z, and when he goes to the toilet, another man tries to be friendly with me, i don't see anything bad in it (unless he lacks of respect towards me). So, i'd get very angry if man Z interferes. And even if he's my bf, i think i have the right to meet new people and have friendships, there's nothing bad with it.
Anyway i dislike any exagerate reaction especially in "friendly" contexts (like parties, clubs).
End of the story. I don't think i'm that "pervert" to have this vision.

If you are out with your boyfriend or husband it is extremely bad form for the girlfriend or wife to flirt with any man, much less some stranger.

[StonyArabia]

No, but the bf or husband should stand his ground. Then the guy will be well afraid to do anything about it. However if he was complenting her looks then no, but if he was dirty well my body language will says something else, so he knows it's not correct. He if tried to lay his hand on her will then I take matters in my own hand. A true man will always be there for his gf/wife especially in times of need.

[Mortimer]

Depends really on the situation. If the Guy is harmless and/or very drunk and/or doesnt even know she has a husband and/or she gave him the wrong signals then no, but if he is an asshole and wants to degrade the wife and husband infront of eatch other then he deserves some good ass kicking.

[Osprey]

I would first wait for a reaction from my beloved.
If she responds unfavourably to that dirtball, then i will intervene first physically, then verabally and if needed, will reach to blows.
If she starts responding to him, then I'll leave.

[Sikeliot]

Not unless he continually harasses her, or gets touchy. Then I say that it is okay. Violence should never be used unless there is no other alternative.

[Breedingvariety]

Man getting angry about girlfriend talking or even lightly flirting with other man would be considered jealous. Man being indifferent about such situation would be considered cold and not caring about his woman. So women desire balanced response:- show enough jealousy for her to understand you care, but not too much jealousy so she interprets you are insecure.

If your woman is physically touched, then it is not friendly interaction, but intimate one. So it is appropriate for a man to get violent. But then again, if your woman enjoys being caressed, then maybe more rational response could be reassessment of your relationship with her. That is to say, not necessarily to dump her, but maybe to find a different "understanding".