I need advice on online dating....

[Mortimer]

Did you ever had an internet relationship and what was the widest distance? I had a girl sitting in america and one in india. Both i never met because i didnt managed it, i think its possible to meet across the ocean or continents but you need to be strongly willed and able. You also need money (a plane ticket is very expensive) and time (off from work etc.)? Also what if you meet her or him once or twice for a week or two, but it doesnt work out, or you make visa for him/her or she/he for you, you need to consider that you would need change location for your partner or he for you, you need to leave parents,friends,relatives your environment and be far away from them at a new place.

---

Your thoughts?

[Corraidh]

Can't say that I have.

[Neanderthal]

I had one long distance relationship once (same country tho), didn't work up. Things are better face to face IMO.

[Hurrem sultana]

well my ex boyfriend was from France :)

[Mortimer]

well my ex boyfriend was from France :)

how often did you met?

[Maddy]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....

But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....

The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

[Arne]

.I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?
Maybe it could be the right Decision to date him.
But your Area seems to be very conservative which directs the ones you consulted to a different opinion.
Maybe you should date him or not ..

Some people have no Relationship experience aswell.

[Maddy]

Thanks for your help, Arne....it's really my family that is pretty conservative....and there seems to be a stigma attached to people that practice online dating.....

And the main thing keeping me from doing it....is what my parents (esp my dad) would do if he found out.....it would not be pretty....and I already get yelled at enough as it is from him.


Maybe it could be the right Decision to date him.
But your Area seems to be very conservative which directs the ones you consulted to a different opinion.
Maybe you should date him or not ..

Some people have no Relationship experience aswell.

[Mordid]

PM sent.

[Arne]

PM sent.

WTF ??
Please stop deralling maddy her Threads with useless Content.
Thanks in advance.

[Germanicus]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....

But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....

The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.


Ok... being a 28 year old female you are on a time limit here; do not date losers who waste your time.. they MUST be white, home owner, no children, and have a steady job.....no baggage.:coffee:

[Mordid]

WTF ??
Please stop deralling maddy her Threads with useless Content.
Thanks in advance.
U jelly because she's with me? :embarrassed

[Maddy]

Ok... being a 28 year old female you are on a time limit here; do not date losers who waste your time.. they MUST be white, home owner, no children, and have a steady job.....no baggage.:coffee:

Yeah...the problem is, in real life...no white men talk to me unless I do first...and I've tried...but they don't seem interested. Black men, however, do come up to me and talk....and make catcalls at me when I walk by, or are in my car, etc....I just assumed that white men are not attracted to me (I have sort of a big butt, but I work out religiously...so that may be why)

[Maddy]

PM sent.

Hey...I didn't get a PM from you....

[Supreme American]

So why are you allowing other people to tell you what to do? Lots of people do online dating now. Big deal.

[Supreme American]

Yeah...the problem is, in real life...no white men talk to me unless I do first...and I've tried...but they don't seem interested. Black men, however, do come up to me and talk....and make catcalls at me when I walk by, or are in my car, etc....I just assumed that white men are not attracted to me (I have sort of a big butt, but I work out religiously...so that may be why)

Blacks are more aggressive, more forward, and lack manners.

[Melina]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....

But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....

The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

If I where you I would move to a more white area and meet people outside. I used to internet date but it never went anywhere. Just be careful. Good luck in finding Mr. right :thumbs up

[Mordid]

Hey...I didn't get a PM from you....
I am a bit busy at the moment. I will send you a PM from me. :)

[Arne]

I am a bit busy at the moment. I will send you a PM from me. :)

My Advice...

Maddy don´t trust Mordid.
He´s not pure.

[Europa]

I personally won't do it.:coffee:

[Mordid]

He´s not pure
Idiot, I agree. :D

[Arne]

Idiot, I agree. :D

I agree with you beeing an Idiot

[Lithium]

Hey, you are 28 and you are old enough to take decisions for yourself without your parents included in it. My advice could be a bit weird but why don't you make a video conversation with that guy, so you can be sure he is real and the body language can help you know him better.

[Ánleifr]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....

But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....

The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

Maddy, there is nothing wrong with online dating. BUT, you need to follow this instruction. The first meeting with anyone online should be in a public place and preferably somewhere like a bank where there are security cameras. Try to let at least one other person know, you can fudge it and tell them your meeting someone because your looking at something there selling on craigslist or something. Once you realize the dude is legit then you all can go out on a date. Also, this is a good filtering process to see if you want to go out on a date with him or not without having to commit :)

[Maddy]

My Advice...

Maddy don´t trust Mordid.
He´s not pure.

What?? Lol...Arne...:D

[Black Sun Dimension]

Have you called him?

[PetiteParisienne]

My husband and I initially met online. :)

[Maddy]

Have you called him?

Actually....he just texted me....

[Maddy]

My husband and I initially met online. :)

:thumb001: That's good to know....so you can meet totally normal people online, right? I don't know why there is such a stigma against it....I don't think there is anything wrong with it...but a lot of other people around me do...

[Melina]

My husband and I initially met online. :)

Yeah but you live in Europe and meeting people is a lot easier over there. And there is less multiculturalism there.

[Maddy]

Maddy, there is nothing wrong with online dating. BUT, you need to follow this instruction. The first meeting with anyone online should be in a public place and preferably somewhere like a bank where there are security cameras. Try to let at least one other person know, you can fudge it and tell them your meeting someone because your looking at something there selling on craigslist or something. Once you realize the dude is legit then you all can go out on a date. Also, this is a good filtering process to see if you want to go out on a date with him or not without having to commit :)


Thanks...that's a good idea....yeah...it would def be in a public place....I would NEVER be alone with a man...always in a public area....

[Black Sun Dimension]

Actually....he just texted me....

that doesn't answers the question, have you two spoken on the phone? texting is too impersonal...

[Maddy]

that doesn't answers the question, have you two spoken on the phone? texting is too impersonal...

No...we haven't....

[Black Sun Dimension]

No...we haven't....

since you are asking for advice, that would be mine to you: talk on the phone first before meeting IRL.

[Arne]

What?? Lol...Arne...:D
I woudln´t trust this guy..

[Maddy]

I woudln´t trust this guy..

Ok, Arne...I will take your advice...thanks :thumb001:

[Maddy]

since you are asking for advice, that would be mine to you: talk on the phone first before meeting IRL.

Ok...will do...thanks very much

[Mordid]

Ok, Arne...I will take your advice...thanks :thumb001:
Don't listen to him, he's obviously jealous.

[Flintlocke]

You're a girl, just go online and you'll get 100 men per second chating with you.

[Mary]

What kind of guys meet girls on dating sites instead of in real life? Losers do that. Do you want to date a loser?

If a guy is 31 (he's probably 41) and doesn't have a girlfriend and is becoming a male nurse, does that seem like a winner to you? Obviously not.

If you don't know how to pick a man then look at guys that are already taken by other women, find one you like and then poach him. Wear a skimpy outfit, walk up to him, tell him you find him attractive and ask him out for a date. If he declines, tell him too bad, but that you're still available if he changes his mind. If he says yes, fuck him good and he'll be back for more. If you fuck him good enough, he will leave his girl for you.

Don't waste your time on the Internet or bars. Go for men that are already taken. If you see one you want in everyday life, go up to him and ask him out.

[Mordid]

Mary has spoken, fuck yeah.

[Mary]

Yeah...the problem is, in real life...no white men talk to me unless I do first...and I've tried...but they don't seem interested. Black men, however, do come up to me and talk....and make catcalls at me when I walk by, or are in my car, etc....I just assumed that white men are not attracted to me (I have sort of a big butt, but I work out religiously...so that may be why)

Can you show us what you wear? Can you tell us how you act when you talk to men?

[Hurrem sultana]

maddy is that you on your avatar? if yes you look attractive i don't see the problem

for a start,go out with some looser just to "learn" how to act ;)

[Virtuous]

What kind of guys meet girls on dating sites instead of in real life? Losers do that. Do you want to date a loser?

If a guy is 31 (he's probably 41) and doesn't have a girlfriend and is becoming a male nurse, does that seem like a winner to you? Obviously not.

If you don't know how to pick a man then look at guys that are already taken by other women, find one you like and then poach him. Wear a skimpy outfit, walk up to him, tell him you find him attractive and ask him out for a date. If he declines, tell him too bad, but that you're still available if he changes his mind. If he says yes, fuck him good and he'll be back for more. If you fuck him good enough, he will leave his girl for you.

Don't waste your time on the Internet or bars. Go for men that are already taken. If you see one you want in everyday life, go up to him and ask him out.

once again, you left me speechless.

[Maddy]

maddy is that you on your avatar? if yes you look attractive i don't see the problem

for a start,go out with some looser just to "learn" how to act ;)

Yes...that's me...thanks.

[Maddy]

Mary, are you serious? I couldn't take a guy from another girl.....and...don't you think then he would leave me for someone else? That doesn't sound like a guy I would want to be in a relationship with....and I plan on waiting until marriage for an intimate relationship...that's just how I was brought up. I don't drink alcohol...so yeah...bars are not for me.


What kind of guys meet girls on dating sites instead of in real life? Losers do that. Do you want to date a loser?

If a guy is 31 (he's probably 41) and doesn't have a girlfriend and is becoming a male nurse, does that seem like a winner to you? Obviously not.

If you don't know how to pick a man then look at guys that are already taken by other women, find one you like and then poach him. Wear a skimpy outfit, walk up to him, tell him you find him attractive and ask him out for a date. If he declines, tell him too bad, but that you're still available if he changes his mind. If he says yes, fuck him good and he'll be back for more. If you fuck him good enough, he will leave his girl for you.

Don't waste your time on the Internet or bars. Go for men that are already taken. If you see one you want in everyday life, go up to him and ask him out.

[Germanicus]

Don't waste your time on the Internet or bars. Go for men that are already taken. If you see one you want in everyday life, go up to him and ask him out.


Sound advice!

[Germanicus]

Mary, are you serious? I couldn't take a guy from another girl.


Of course you could...your a woman!

[ethnopluralist]

I agree with the sentiments of previous posters, you should have the authority to make your own decisions. Your going to med school, you are certainly competent enough to make your own decisions on relationships; don't let overbearing parents dissuade you.

[Arne]

for a start,go out with some looser just to "learn" how to act ;)

yeah go out with me

how about that ?

[Maddy]

Can you show us what you wear? Can you tell us how you act when you talk to men?

Well...I act polite...I talk to them just like I talk to women...
Here are some pics of what I normally wear...don't laugh...and I included a pic of my backside so you can see that I really do have a big butt

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/12464_232498062124_637877124_4110613_6232729_n.jpg
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/chicago2012.jpg
<a href="http://s1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/?action=view&amp;current=me22.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/me22.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/mez.jpg
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/me22.jpg

[Hurrem sultana]

Mary, are you serious? I couldn't take a guy from another girl.....and...don't you think then he would leave me for someone else? That doesn't sound like a guy I would want to be in a relationship with....and I plan on waiting until marriage for an intimate relationship...that's just how I was brought up. I don't drink alcohol...so yeah...bars are not for me.

Well my mom always says "if he is not married or engaged go for it" :D

so if he is only in a relationship.go for it :D

[Black Sun Dimension]

your ass aint that big, not even close...it's normal, you are just self contious about it

[Hurrem sultana]

her ass is just perfect

she has a pretty face+sexy body

i cant believe you have not dated until now

[Arne]

Maddy, i like all on you.

[Melina]

Well...I act polite...I talk to them just like I talk to women...
Here are some pics of what I normally wear...don't laugh...and I included a pic of my backside so you can see that I really do have a big butt

http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/12464_232498062124_637877124_4110613_6232729_n.jpg
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/chicago2012.jpg
<a href="http://s1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/?action=view&amp;current=me22.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/me22.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/mez.jpg
http://i1067.photobucket.com/albums/u422/wpm1912/me22.jpg

Don't take this wrong but you look pretty young. You look like my age. You have really good chance in meeting a good man so don't settle for less. Just practice dating before getting into anything serious.

[Flintlocke]

her ass is just perfect

she has a pretty face+sexy body

i cant believe you have not dated until now

Best classification ever :coffee::D

[Corvus]

I always thought it is so much easier for women to find a partner,
that´s at least a stereotyp. But maybe I was wrong :confused:

[Maddy]

yeah go out with me

how about that ?

Well...you'd have to come to Detroit....I guess I could get you a greencard if you want to get married...lol...

[Γέλως]

What kind of guys meet girls on dating sites instead of in real life? Losers do that. Do you want to date a loser?

If a guy is 31 (he's probably 41) and doesn't have a girlfriend and is becoming a male nurse, does that seem like a winner to you? Obviously not.

If you don't know how to pick a man then look at guys that are already taken by other women, find one you like and then poach him. Wear a skimpy outfit, walk up to him, tell him you find him attractive and ask him out for a date. If he declines, tell him too bad, but that you're still available if he changes his mind. If he says yes, fuck him good and he'll be back for more. If you fuck him good enough, he will leave his girl for you.

Don't waste your time on the Internet or bars. Go for men that are already taken. If you see one you want in everyday life, go up to him and ask him out.All these are fine, but you forgot to tell her about anal sex.

[Maddy]

Ok all...thanks so much for your help....I'll take what everyone said in mind...Maybe I should move to Europe...cause the Caucasian men over here in America (at least where I live)....are very different in what they like/don't like in a woman.

So...thanks...I'll try your advice....it is much appreciated : )

[Mary]

Mary, are you serious? I couldn't take a guy from another girl.....and...don't you think then he would leave me for someone else? That doesn't sound like a guy I would want to be in a relationship with....and I plan on waiting until marriage for an intimate relationship...that's just how I was brought up. I don't drink alcohol...so yeah...bars are not for me.

* Your first chance to get a man was between 15 and 25. In that time you were supposed to get one. If you didn't manage this that means you've failed at life.

* You have a second chance between 25 and 35. But now you're going to have to try harder.

* I can't say that you won't find a guy that will wait until marriage, there is a sucker born every minute, but the chances of that are pretty small.

* Why do you need to steal a man? Because in every cohort 10-20% of the men are good, the rest are losers. At your age all the good men in your cohort are taken. So unless another woman fucks up and then one becomes available, your only chance to get a good man is to steal one.

* You have two choices:

a) Marry a loser. Like a 30 year old male nurse.

b) Poach a winner. He will already have a girlfriend.

* What if the man you poach leaves you? Well, you'll have to work to keep him.

* Men are everywhere. You need to keep your eyes out for one that is unguarded. As soon as you see him, go up and talk to him. You need to insist. "oh, come on, let's just go for one date. It doesn't have to mean anything. We can be just friends".

* When you fuck him watch the theme I showed you before. You need to be very enthusiastic, very horny, very sexual. "Oh, I find you so attractive, I really want to fuck you". That kind of attitude.

[Hurrem sultana]

say what you want but mary knows how to steal a guy :D

[European Loyalist]

Don't listen to the muslim and the troll, if a man is dating a woman respect that relationship. It doesn't mean you can't talk to him and flirt, but it's just a sleazy thing to consciously try to ruin a relationship.

[Hurrem sultana]

Don't listen to the muslim and the troll, if a man is dating a woman respect that relationship. It doesn't mean you can't talk to him and flirt, but it's just a sleazy thing to consciously try to ruin a relationship.

if you flirt then you are trying to steal him away,simple as that


Women have done this throughout history,it becomes sleazy once the guy is engaged or married,when that happens he is off limit

[RoyBatty]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....


A huge percentage of responses will be from people who want to "hook up", particularly if there were photos.

Just out of curiousity, why haven't you been in relationships? Not interested, not looking, socially inept, suitors not good enough, not moving in social circles?

There's nothing wrong with how you look going by the photos you posted here and guys are always on the lookout for women so either your current environment doesn't contain many eligible guys or else you're just not meeting any and giving hints that you are available?




But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....


It's not more or less creepy than anywhere else really. Just use your common sense to filter the obvious creeps out. A LOT of online responses will be from creepy types, more so than IRL. It just comes with the territory.

Meeting people online isn't creepy by definition though. It isn't hard to separate the opportunists from people who are more serious. Ask for photos, get to know them a bit online, see if there's anything there apart from an interest in "hooking up". If they aren't displaying much of a personality beyond the usual routines you can bet they're not really all that interested.




The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....


There isn't much to lose by meeting in a neutral venue, take it from there. Try to get information about his social circle, family, friends etc. The opportunists aren't going to want to share this kind of information because they're not interested in sticking around and wasting time.



And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...


You're a grown up, what your parents think shouldn't really dictate your life choices. Just be sensible and don't do something stupid and listen to advice but that doesn't mean you have to blindly agree with and obey everything your family tells you.



And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...


That is going to be a problem, you better get started gaining experience. Get ready for some bumps in the road and plenty of heartache. Don't expect too much. Don't bargain on the first guy you start dating being a keeper. Don't expect miracles.

You're going to need a few practice runs before you develop a better idea of what you want and what will work or won't work.




So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

Go on the date, you need the experience. Just be sensible, stay safe etc. Don't go in expecting much. You'll probably luck out a number of times. Don't get needy, desperate, don't blindly latch onto the first guy expecting him to be "the one".

And as Germanicus said... you're better off going for somebody who is settled, has a job, a place to live etc etc. It's kind of pointless wasting time on ones starting out or who are going nowhere.....

[StonyArabia]

Even men need to becareful, some women are deranged

[Arne]

Ok all...thanks so much for your help....I'll take what everyone said in mind...Maybe I should move to Europe...cause the Caucasian men over here in America (at least where I live)....are very different in what they like/don't like in a woman.

So...thanks...I'll try your advice....it is much appreciated : )

You ´d be my Dreamwife then.. :p


if you talk to him and flirt then you are trying to steal him away,simple as that


Women have done this throughout history,it becomes sleazy once the guy is engaged or married,when that happens he is off limit
It´s just simple..
Something must be questioned if he´d possibly have more than just a flirt situation with another Female outside the Relationship.
Men can sometimes hardly resist and can act very weak.

[RoyBatty]

since you are asking for advice, that would be mine to you: talk on the phone first before meeting IRL.

Agreed, a real guy isn't going to spend his time texting. If he's too scared to talk on the phone it's a waste of time.

[Hurrem sultana]

It´s just simple..
Something must be questioned if he´d possibly have more than just a flirt situation with another Female outside the Relationship.
Men can sometimes hardly resist and can act very weak.


how do you mean? flirt is not acceptable in a relationship,because flirt leads to more

[Mary]

Well...I act polite...I talk to them just like I talk to women...
Here are some pics of what I normally wear...don't laugh...and I included a pic of my backside so you can see that I really do have a big butt


* You're too much of a good girl. It doesn't suit you because you are the Whore type and it looks like someone has tried to dress you up as a Jewish schoolgirl. Now Whore is sexy, Jewish schoolgirl is not.

* There is nothing wrong with you. But you either compete in the Schoolgirl category (what kind of Schoolgirl are you trying to pull off?) or in the Bimbo category (here you do the Whore).

* What happens when you're a Bimbo dressed like a schoolgirl (and probably acting like a schoolgirl, that's why you're shy, because that's considered attractive in schoolgirls) is that you can't sell yourself to either Teachers or Kings.

* You're too much "grown woman" dressed up like a girl to appeal to Teachers. But you are too much "good girl" to sell yourself to Kings. And this is why you don't have a man.

* I'm going to guess that your mother is a schoolgirl and that's why you ended up this way. I know because my mother is a schoolgirl, I had the same problem. They have this thing for forcing you to go to school and dress like a schoolgirl. Awful parenting.

* You need to sell yourself on the sex. Preferably by being someone's mistress.

* The black dress and the short skirt are good, wear that and similar. Stop being shy and proper. Be sexy.

* You have a very nice butt. You should make that a selling point. Accentuate the butt with skirts and hot pants. Not a lot of women look good in hot pants, but with your butt and legs I think you can pull it off.

* Your legs are very good. Don't be shy to show them off. Heels, short skirts and tights are good. Try different stockings.

* Stop thinking that you're a schoolgirl. You're not actually shy. It's just something someone has gotten into your head. You're actually a lot more outgoing and not shy about your body.

* Embrace your sexiness. Accept that you are a sexual woman. You should display this because this is your strong point. You have the instinct, some of the stuff you wear is very good for example. You just need to follow this instinct. Do the stuff that you think is fun.

[Arne]

how do you mean? flirt is not acceptable in a relationship,because flirt leads to more

Not always is it leading to more..
Only jealous self insecure Females would outrage..

[Mary]

Don't listen to the muslim and the troll, if a man is dating a woman respect that relationship. It doesn't mean you can't talk to him and flirt, but it's just a sleazy thing to consciously try to ruin a relationship.

Don't listen to this loser. All is fair in love and war.

[Tony]

I always thought it is so much easier for women to find a partner,
that´s at least a stereotyp. But maybe I was wrong :confused:

U ain't wrong but Maddy seems to be lookin for aehm-, she's just waiting for, the man of her life, the Prince Charming, not a mere "partner".

And that's way more difficult...

[Hurrem sultana]

well maddy should not settle for anything,she looks good and deserves a man just as good ;)


but since she is not experienced,she could go out with a looser just to get the "game"

that is my advice

[Mary]

I think losers are a waste of time. What exactly is she going to learn from it? She doesn't need practice, she just needs to be herself. The rest will work itself out.

[Tony]

your ass aint that big, not even close...it's normal, you are just self contious about it

U cannot judge about it without a SIDE PICTURE.:coffee:if an ass is large.

Btw Maddy there is this Incal, a member here, who happens to like A LOT big butts, give him a call...

[Hurrem sultana]

I think losers are a waste of time. What exactly is she going to learn from it? She doesn't need practice, she just needs to be herself. The rest will work itself out.

Learn how to behave,seduce a guy and all those games that a shy not experienced person wont know

Also how to recognize jerks,,,casanovas/players are usually good looking guys,but some of them can be pure evil:coffee:

[Black Sun Dimension]

U cannot judge about it without a SIDE PICTURE.:coffee:if an ass is large.

Btw Maddy there is this Incal, a member here, who happens to like A LOT big butts, give him a call...

fishing for more pictures? well, im in... post a side picture and shut me up Maddy

[Arne]

good looking guys can be pure evil:coffee:

Agreed.. :coffee:

[Mary]

Learn how to behave,seduce a guy and all those games that a shy not experienced person wont know

Also how to recognize jerks,,,casanovas/players are usually good looking guys,but some of them can be pure evil:coffee:

Either you have it in you or you don't. And I think she has it. I can tell.

I was a virgin when I met my man. I didn't have to "learn" anything to pick him up. It just comes naturally. Especially if you fit with the right type.

[Tony]

Either you have it in you or you don't. And I think she has it. I can tell.

I don't think so.
Look at her avatar, would u call it "seductive"?
a sad expression, small saggy tits, heavy eyebrows etc

what could be her ace (da arse), she decide to hide it.
In fact she shot her bottom privately (in her bedroom, alone) while outside she use to pose more "girl next door" type.

I don't think she is seductive or, if she knows how to be, for some reason, she don't wanna be and stay introvert.

[PetiteParisienne]

Yeah but you live in Europe and meeting people is a lot easier over there. And there is less multiculturalism there.

I went to high school and uni in the US, so I can compare the two well. It really depends on where you are in the US or Europe. Metropolitan areas in both places are very multicultural. Likewise, the atmosphere and demographic become more homogenous the more you distance yourself from cities. Cultural differences are more striking in Europe because there aren't as many cases of long-standing immigrants, so two people from completely different backgrounds might be less likely to get together. But, in general, I wouldn't say Europe is less multicultural than the US.

[PetiteParisienne]

:thumb001: That's good to know....so you can meet totally normal people online, right? I don't know why there is such a stigma against it....I don't think there is anything wrong with it...but a lot of other people around me do...

You can definitely meet good people online. The stigma comes from the easy anonymity that the internet provides. It's harder to trust people. Just be very cautious.

[PetiteParisienne]

P.S. I highly recommend Skype as a good stepping stone between email/texting and meeting up in person.

[Mary]

I don't think so.
Look at her avatar, would u call it "seductive"?
a sad expression, small saggy tits, heavy eyebrows etc

what could be her ace (da arse), she decide to hide it.
In fact she shot her bottom privately (in her bedroom, alone) while outside she use to pose more "girl next door" type.

I don't think she is seductive or, if she knows how to be, for some reason, she don't wanna be and stay introvert.

* No, I don't agree. I think her avatar is very good. Straight out of Moulin Rouge.

RQa7SvVCdZk

* It's a burlesque style hooker. Think Dita von Teese.

http://images.askmen.com/photos/dita-von-teese/dita-von-teese-88402.jpg

It's even the same dress. Note how this comes natural to her.

Here are some more:

http://mrdool.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/dita_von_teese.jpeg

http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2011/stylewatch/blog/110404/dita-von-teese-300x400.jpg

http://media.justjared.com/headlines/2008/06/dita-von-teese-movida.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HRlApZClQ6A/SqVKfN83IAI/AAAAAAAAAOE/vCf6zr0ZKGI/s400/dita.jpg

http://cdn05.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/headlines/2010/10/dita-von-teese-elie-saab-ready-to-wear.jpg

^ Despite the hype this woman is at most a 7. Really a dolled up 6. I strongly disapprove of this kind of nonsense. It's all clothing and very little content. A woman has to be willing to fuck and not just look good.

* She didn't hide her ass. I agree she needs to accentuate it. But otherwise it's fine.

* She gives out a seductive vibe, she just needs to do more of that. Here is an example:

http://un-wiredtv.com/images/sized/images/uploads/gallery/Chanel_Preston01-580x870.JPG

http://un-wiredtv.com/images/sized/images/uploads/gallery/Chanel_Preston04-580x870.JPG

http://whatculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/4791954550_1a6fff23d9_z.jpg

http://www.earthsmightiest.com/images/gallerypictures/3220L.jpg

http://www.prphotos.com/mas_assets/full/2459/GFR-002459.jpg

http://adultxevents.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Chanel-Preston-Jules-Jordan-Video-2011-AEE-AVN-2.jpg

* If you're not seeing it, you're probably not her target demographic.

[Mary]

More:

http://www.prphotos.com/mas_assets/full/5461/ALO-125461.jpg

http://www.prphotos.com/mas_assets/full/5462/ALO-125462.jpg

http://www.prphotos.com/mas_assets/full/5459/ALO-125459.jpg

http://www.prphotos.com/mas_assets/full/5460/ALO-125460.jpg

NSFW

http://pics7.traktorporn.com/2/2/1/3/chanel-preston--premiumpass-adult-311_1_big.jpg

http://pics7.traktorporn.com/4/3/2/3/chanel-preston--premiumpass-adult-311_2_big.jpg

http://pics7.traktorporn.com/3/1/3/3/chanel-preston--premiumpass-adult-311_3_big.jpg

http://www.rogreviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/preston.jpg

This is what she's really like.

Her test for a man should be: Would he pimp me for money?

If the answer is yes, then he is her match. If the answer is no, she shouldn't waste her time with him. Just my two cents.

[Incal]

Yeah...the problem is, in real life...no white men talk to me unless I do first...and I've tried...but they don't seem interested. Black men, however, do come up to me and talk....and make catcalls at me when I walk by, or are in my car, etc....I just assumed that white men are not attracted to me (I have sort of a big butt, but I work out religiously...so that may be why)

LOL I knew it. Sadly for you, my dear Maddy, white men are not too much into curvy women so I'd recommend you to date some spic (with some luck, you could find some cuban who's 90%> white) or the son of some portuguese, galician or italian family (Dunno why but I'm assuming you live in NY or near).

[Incal]

Wait, I just saw your pics. You are cute and have a nice body, any kind of man would be attracted to you IMO. Are you sure your problem isn't connected to personality? Maybe you are too shy or something like that.

[ricko0812]

i would not recommend trying to find someone off the internet. you look pretty attractive and i dont think you would have problems attracting some guy you are around in your everyday life, unless your real shy or something.

[dralos]

when i internetdated,i got a date with an unknown person who happend to be kiera knightley,the rest is history(we did it :whoo:

[Dacul]

I know 2 couples that met online.
They are doing fine in their marriages now,both couples have kids.

In my opinion you do not get the attention of men because you have a harsh look in your eyes,you have the gaze of a warrior.
I think you are scarring men.

[Queen B]

I disagree with Mary's approach. If he cheats his wife/girlfriend with you, he ll probably do the same with you, so why invlolved with a non-trustworthy person in a first place?

If you want to meet him, be carefull. Ask for a video chat to be sure he is him, and meet him in a PUBLIC place, as proposed, a bank would be good.

I find it hard that you have never dated any guy, you are a good looking girl, and your ass if fine, is not big.

What you lack is not the looks or the body, and judging from your posts, not the personality either.
But you lack of self-confidence, and that's something very important.
If you feel good inside, then it is ''visible'' to the outside.

[Maddy]

I don't think so.
Look at her avatar, would u call it "seductive"?
a sad expression, small saggy tits, heavy eyebrows etc

what could be her ace (da arse), she decide to hide it.
In fact she shot her bottom privately (in her bedroom, alone) while outside she use to pose more "girl next door" type.

I don't think she is seductive or, if she knows how to be, for some reason, she don't wanna be and stay introvert.

Wow! And for the record... my "tits" are not saggy at all... I'm bending over, obviously... it's ok I I'm not your type.. you don't have to be rude about it.

[Maddy]

Ok... I went to dinner with him.... just to give it a chance.... and I learned that I will never try online dating again....He seemed to be a very nice person... but just not for me....
and he didn't come across the same way as in his profile...didn't seem too bright at all... the conversation was flat (my fault as well)... and... I thought a person is supposed to look the same as they do in pictures? He did not (I didnt go out with him cause of his looks... but the pics he posted must have been when he was in his early 20s....he's 31 but used to smoke and it's visible that he didn't take care of himself...But overall... I'm really more attracted to a mans' personailty... and we had zero chemistry...but he was really nice... I kept outlr meeting very short, and in a very public area...he wanted to see me again... but I told him that I just don't think we click... nothing against him at all...

So... I suppose online dating can be good for some....but in my case... I will not try it again...

Mary... you were right all along. I should have listened to you... can You be my pimp? Lol!!!

and again, thanks everyone for your responses...even the critical one... it really helped me...take care :)

[ethnopluralist]

Your a cute girl, and a smart girl to boot; there is no reason to be self-conscious.

[cossackpride]

Ok... I went to dinner with him.... just to give it a chance.... and I learned that I will never try online dating again....He seemed to be a very nice person... but just not for me....
and he didn't come across the same way as in his profile...didn't seem too bright at all... the conversation was flat (my fault as well)... and... I thought a person is supposed to look the same as they do in pictures? He did not (I didnt go out with him cause of his looks... but the pics he posted must have been when he was in his early 20s....he's 31 but used to smoke and it's visible that he didn't take care of himself...But overall... I'm really more attracted to a mans' personailty... and we had zero chemistry...but he was really nice... I kept outlr meeting very short, and in a very public area...he wanted to see me again... but I told him that I just don't think we click... nothing against him at all...

So... I suppose online dating can be good for some....but in my case... I will not try it again...

Mary... you were right all along. I should have listened to you... can You be my pimp? Lol!!!

and again, thanks everyone for your responses...even the critical one... it really helped me...take care :)

Online Dating Sites are not worth the time. I have two sisters who tried PoF.com and the only relationships they founded through that site ended as soon as they began.

The closes I did to Online Dating were blind dates through Craigslist at a small university town and the only reason that work was because most people were White and new to the community. It wouldn't work at my current residence because most people around me are settled down, here.

I read Bodybuilding.com and they have frequent threads on PoF and Online Dating. From what I've casually read, most profiles on PoF are either fake (people looking for strict online romance / flirting) or the person is holding out for a 9 / 10 in looks and they only want sex.

There are a load of trolls on PoF too


http://www.ingame.msnbc.msn.com/technology/ingame/world-warcraft-future-online-dating-123662

This article should be a little inspiration. There's several articles out there that suggest playing MMO's are an excellent way to meet people.. Because the database of players is larger than dating sites and people spend hours on those games.

That Randy the Orc might be a single 29 year old Engineer who pulls down $110,000 :)



I didn't meet my Girlfriend online (at those odds.. :confused:)

I knew her through the local Curling Club (not sure about America, but in Canada... even in the most Asian / African suburb, the Curling Club will always be populated by Caucasians of various ages).

[StonyArabia]

Caucasians you mean Caucasus people:D

[Black Sun Dimension]

did you call the guy as i adviced you?

[Maddy]

Yeah... the site I used was POF...I knew a girl that met her fiancé frI'm that site...but yeah...not for me
QUOTE=cossackpride;862524]Online Dating Sites are not worth the time. I have two sisters who tried PoF.com and the only relationships they founded through that site ended as soon as they began.

The closes I did to Online Dating were blind dates through Craigslist at a small university town and the only reason that work was because most people were White and new to the community. It wouldn't work at my current residence because most people around me are settled down, here.

I read Bodybuilding.com and they have frequent threads on PoF and Online Dating. From what I've casually read, most profiles on PoF are either fake (people looking for strict online romance / flirting) or the person is holding out for a 9 / 10 in looks and they only want sex.

There are a load of trolls on PoF too


http://www.ingame.msnbc.msn.com/technology/ingame/world-warcraft-future-online-dating-123662

This article should be a little inspiration. There's several articles out there that suggest playing MMO's are an excellent way to meet people.. Because the database of players is larger than dating sites and people spend hours on those games.

That Randy the Orc might be a single 29 year old Engineer who pulls down $110,000 :)



I didn't meet my Girlfriend online (at those odds.. :confused:)

I knew her through the local Curling Club (not sure about America, but in Canada... even in the most Asian / African suburb, the Curling Club will always be populated by Caucasians of various ages).[/QUOTE]

[Maddy]

did you call the guy as i adviced you?

Yeah... I did... and he seemed nice... and he was nice in person... but he kept going on and on...we didn't talk much over the phone... that was my fault.. I prob should have spent an hour! It was more about his manner I didn't jive with... he didn't make good eye contact with me... which is something I do with everyone.. but he could have just been shy.. I don't know..

[cossackpride]

Yeah... I did... and he seemed nice... and he was nice in person... but he kept going on and on...we didn't talk much over the phone... that was my fault.. I prob should have spent an hour! It was more about his manner I didn't jive with... he didn't make good eye contact with me... which is something I do with everyone.. but he could have just been shy.. I don't know..

How could he be shy with someone he doesn't know? :confused:
I guess messaging on the site could had built up some anticipation, but still.

A friend told me that my girlfriend was interested in me and the next Saturday I phoned her up and ask her out and that's all it took.


Being 28 must be pretty rough. I know several women who are 31 and they claim all the marriageable men are taken or in a solid relationship.

[Maddy]

Yeah... I don't know why he was nervous...well.. it seems like u have nice friends...a girl I thought was a good friend of mine in school just let me know month ago that she "hated" me for a full semester because she thought this guy she really likes liked me...well.. she got over that really quick because she just go proposed to last week (she is Paki and there really isn't dating)...

Yeah... most men are in a relationship or married at that age... my perfect brother that is 25 and a pharmacist is getting engaged next month to a girl that is 21... an she will be starting medical school....

It's ok though... because I suppose marriage isn't for everyone... and I'll be ok


QUOTE=cossackpride;862550]How could he be shy with someone he doesn't know? :confused:
I guess messaging on the site could had built up some anticipation, but still.

A friend told me that my girlfriend was interested in me and the next Saturday I phoned her up and ask her out and that's all it took.


Being 28 must be pretty rough. I know several women who are 31 and they claim all the marriageable men are taken or in a solid relationship.[/QUOTE]

[cossackpride]

He must be perfect if he is working at 25. A PharmD is a six year degree, IIRC (unless it's done after a B.A.. which is a poor time investment)

[Maddy]

He must be perfect if he is working at 25. A PharmD is a six year degree, IIRC (unless it's done after a B.A.. which is a poor time investment)

yeah... he basically is... plus he is extremely good looking (and I mean that in a sister way)

[Incal]

Give it time Maddy, the dating world is not some sort of competition. If your bro is engaged, good for him, that doesn't mean everybody gotta marry at 25.

[cossackpride]

My relatives are all married young but this is an Ukrainian thing. According to them - I'm already too old to get married (mind y ou I am younger than your brother :cool: :eek: )

I completed a B.A. but it'll may take me four years to complete my diploma and certification in accounting (I am fluent in Spanish and aim to become a CFO at 30 and eventually a CEO. I don't consider myself optimistic, as I have 3 relatives who did the exact samething. God bless all those Latin American Mining Companies Head Offices and most Canadians refusing to learn Spanish :cool: )

I was waiting until I had my own place but may I decide to propose to my Girlfriend within the year.

[Arne]

yeah... he basically is... plus he is extremely good looking (and I mean that in a sister way)

:D:D:D

[cossackpride]

:D:D:D

She's checking out her bro!

Yuck!!!! So American.. :thumbs up

[Maddy]

She's checking out her bro!

Yuck!!!! So American.. :thumbs up

Really... lol... I'm totally not!!! that is gross.... it may sound weird.. but it's more of a jealousy I've had of his looks.... I guess I always wanted to be a boy...

Ew... but def not checking him out or anything like that... when someone is good looking it's obvious...everyone points it out... not my words

[Quorra]

Really... lol... I'm totally not!!! that is gross.... it may sound weird.. but it's more of a jealousy I've had of his looks.... I guess I always wanted to be a boy...

Ew... but def not checking him out or anything like that... when someone is good looking it's obvious...everyone points it out... not my words

Maddy is that you in your avatar?

[Maddy]

Maddy is that you in your avatar?

Yes....

[cossackpride]

* No, I don't agree. I think her avatar is very good. Straight out of Moulin Rouge.

They're being an idiot. How can you compare someone to a professionally edited shot?

These models have their pictures taken by expensive cameras, get treated by professional stylists and their photos go through computer software. People can be surprised how ugly some models can be before going through various treatments.


I take my photos with a cheap ass Nikon. When I get my photo taken at Costco for Passport or Protrait.. I always look amazing.

People usually look better in person because most people's photos are taken with cheap cameras.

[Anarch]

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

The other people you've spoken to have probably never tried online dating. It's a misnomer anyway - you can't date 'online' - you can only get to know someone a little before you decide to go have coffee or dinner or whatever. Dating starts after that.

Go ahead, give it a shot - meet up in a public place and have lunch or something. If it doesn't work out, just walk away.

[cossackpride]

Bad idea. Read into a lunch date. You're obligated to stick around until the food is delivered and the bill is paid. Add in an extra obligation if the man pays or insists to pay. Worse yet there's no escape.. Bad idea for a blind date.

I never saw her profile or his profile. But maybe her profile said "I"m a nurse" and the guy changed her profile to match her and is pretending to have the same interests (there's creeps like that on PoF and Online Dating sites).

Online dating is always a blind date... because of all the bullshitters online.


Now if you're looking to scrounge a free meal off a random bloke that's another question altogether.

Coffee and walking is a better alternative.. and I noticed your Starbucks photo.. I don't mean your overpriced $6 - $10 cup of coffee.

Sounds cheesy and lame.. but if you like the guy and he doesn't get annoyed about a coffee date or two - he might as well be a keeper. A guy with a short attention span is usually the type to run off with a hooker or a prostitute. :D :cool:

[Mortimer]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....

But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....

The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

Well if you are quiete sure he is not a fake or potentially dangerous go for it, because it seems as if you two are really getting along well and you look like his looks too

[Maddy]

You're not too old to get married...in my opinion...plus you are a guy...do men have a time limit? I didn't know that...but I completely understand the cultural thing...Good luck with proposing : )

No...I'm not interested in the guy at all....like he hugged me twice and I cringed...He did offer to pay for the meal...but I absolutely refused...and then payed my half. It was nice that a guy actually offered to pay for me, though....But there is zero chemistry from my end...he doesn't have charm at all...I don't want to lead him on and hurt his feelings...he is a good guy...so it is def best that I don't see him again.


My relatives are all married young but this is an Ukrainian thing. According to them - I'm already too old to get married (mind y ou I am younger than your brother :cool: :eek: )

I completed a B.A. but it'll may take me four years to complete my diploma and certification in accounting (I am fluent in Spanish and aim to become a CFO at 30 and eventually a CEO. I don't consider myself optimistic, as I have 3 relatives who did the exact samething. God bless all those Latin American Mining Companies Head Offices and most Canadians refusing to learn Spanish :cool: )

I was waiting until I had my own place but may I decide to propose to my Girlfriend within the year.


Bad idea. Read into a lunch date. You're obligated to stick around until the food is delivered and the bill is paid. Add in an extra obligation if the man pays or insists to pay. Worse yet there's no escape.. Bad idea for a blind date.

I never saw her profile or his profile. But maybe her profile said "I"m a nurse" and the guy changed her profile to match her and is pretending to have the same interests (there's creeps like that on PoF and Online Dating sites).

Online dating is always a blind date... because of all the bullshitters online.


Now if you're looking to scrounge a free meal off a random bloke that's another question altogether.

Coffee and walking is a better alternative.. and I noticed your Starbucks photo.. I don't mean your overpriced $6 - $10 cup of coffee.

Sounds cheesy and lame.. but if you like the guy and he doesn't get annoyed about a coffee date or two - he might as well be a keeper. A guy with a short attention span is usually the type to run off with a hooker or a prostitute. :D :cool:

[Mortimer]

No...I'm not interested in the guy at all....like he hugged me twice and I cringed...He did offer to pay for the meal...but I absolutely refused...and then payed my half. It was nice that a guy actually offered to pay for me, though....But there is zero chemistry from my end...he doesn't have charm at all...I don't want to lead him on and hurt his feelings...he is a good guy...so it is def best that I don't see him again.

I see, what did he do wrong?

[Maddy]

Well if you are quiete sure he is not a fake or potentially dangerous go for it, because it seems as if you two are really getting along well and you look like his looks too


Online, we had good conversation...but in person it did not click...I can feel energies of people...and I didn't like his...at all...

And his picks must have been from when he was in his early 20s...cause he looked nothing!!!! Like them....now that I'm thinking of it...it may not even have been him in the picture.

Put thanks for the advice :)

[Quorra]

Yes....

you are lovely! What's this nonsense about you wanting to be a guy?

You're only 28. You don't have to be married just yet. Seriously, with men, just relax and don't have any interest in them. It's the only thing they understand.

[Mortimer]

Online, we had good conversation...but in person it did not click...I can feel energies of people...and I didn't like his...at all...

And his picks must have been from when he was in his early 20s...cause he looked nothing!!!! Like them....now that I'm thinking of it...it may not even have been him in the picture.

Put thanks for the advice :)

Oh so you met actually? Well now you know it doesnt work out, if you had not met you wouldnt know it and be bothered with it.

[Maddy]

you are lovely! What's this nonsense about you wanting to be a guy?

You're only 28. You don't have to be married just yet. Seriously, with men, just relax and don't have any interest in them. It's the only thing they understand.

Thanks :)....it's been since I was very young...I always wished that I was a boy instead of a girl....and to this day...if I could swap...I would be a man in a second...

[Maddy]

Oh so you met actually? Well now you know it doesnt work out, if you had not met you wouldnt know it and be bothered with it.


Yes...you are very right! :)

[Quorra]

Thanks :)....it's been since I was very young...I always wished that I was a boy instead of a girl....and to this day...if I could swap...I would be a man in a second...

Is it possible that having some kind of man spirit is making it difficult for you to function romantically as a female?

[Maddy]

Is it possible that having some kind of man spirit is making it difficult for you to function romantically as a female?

You are very insightful....I was actually thinking about this before...and this is a possibility....but on the other hand...I am not a lesbian....so it may be possible that I am asexual....but that's what therapy is for :eek:

[Mortimer]

You are very insightful....I was actually thinking about this before...and this is a possibility....but on the other hand...I am not a lesbian....so it may be possible that I am asexual....but that's what therapy is for :eek:

lol i think sometimes too that im asexual, but then again i do have sexual desires sometimes so not sure

[Quorra]

You are very insightful....I was actually thinking about this before...and this is a possibility....but on the other hand...I am not a lesbian....so it may be possible that I am asexual....but that's what therapy is for :eek:

hmmm I will have to think about this.

There is no reason today why a woman can't basically live the life of a man without actually being a man or being a lesbian. My doctor is a lesbian and she's short with beautiful hair. It's all cut short though. She's all woman though and when she was young I can tell she would have been petite and pretty. I don't know what her history is.

And look at these female news readers. These are very masculine featured( I'm not saying you are) yet beautiful women. They aren't lesbians. There are a lot of options for women today.

[cossackpride]

Online, we had good conversation...but in person it did not click...I can feel energies of people...and I didn't like his...at all...

...he doesn't have charm at all...I don't want to lead him on and hurt his feelings...

May I hurt his feelings? There's nothing charming about a male nurse! I bet this guy looks and sounds like Andy Dick.

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060430141804/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/e/e1/EMHMarkII.jpg/403px-EMHMarkII.jpg

:thumb001: :D


I can feel energies of people...and I didn't like his...at all...

You wouldn't like my energy. I'm a greased up Bohunk. :wink

[cossackpride]

You are very insightful....I was actually thinking about this before...and this is a possibility....but on the other hand...I am not a lesbian....so it may be possible that I am asexual....but that's what therapy is for :eek:

Wut.. :confused:

Everyone says that until they go on vacation, stay in a public dormitory (no masturbating in public or looking at porn) and then they (male / female) get horny as hell and form a relationship. :rolleyes2:

[Maddy]

Good point....I like the way you think:thumbs up


hmmm I will have to think about this.

There is no reason today why a woman can't basically live the life of a man without actually being a man or being a lesbian. My doctor is a lesbian and she's short with beautiful hair. It's all cut short though. She's all woman though and when she was young I can tell she would have been petite and pretty. I don't know what her history is.

And look at these female news readers. These are very masculine featured( I'm not saying you are) yet beautiful women. They aren't lesbians. There are a lot of options for women today.

[Maddy]

Oh my gosh!!! Yes...he did sort of look like Andy Dick....wow...good guess....Well...about your energy...I can't know for sure unless I'm near the person....but I'm sure you are pleasant....


May I hurt his feelings? There's nothing charming about a male nurse! I bet this guy looks and sounds like Andy Dick.

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060430141804/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/e/e1/EMHMarkII.jpg/403px-EMHMarkII.jpg

:thumb001: :D



You wouldn't like my energy. I'm a greased up Bohunk. :wink

[cossackpride]

hmmm I will have to think about this.

There is no reason today why a woman can't basically live the life of a man without actually being a man or being a lesbian. My doctor is a lesbian and she's short with beautiful hair. It's all cut short though. She's all woman though and when she was young I can tell she would have been petite and pretty. I don't know what her history is.

And look at these female news readers. These are very masculine featured( I'm not saying you are) yet beautiful women. They aren't lesbians. There are a lot of options for women today.

:mmmm:

Are you encouraging Lesbianism? :eek:

[Hurrem sultana]

My relatives are all married young but this is an Ukrainian thing. According to them - I'm already too old to get married (mind y ou I am younger than your brother :cool: :eek: )

I completed a B.A. but it'll may take me four years to complete my diploma and certification in accounting (I am fluent in Spanish and aim to become a CFO at 30 and eventually a CEO. I don't consider myself optimistic, as I have 3 relatives who did the exact samething. God bless all those Latin American Mining Companies Head Offices and most Canadians refusing to learn Spanish :cool: )

I was waiting until I had my own place but may I decide to propose to my Girlfriend within the year.

lol how old are you,even in bosnia people are not old until they are over 25,,if you are over 25 and not married they trhink you are either ugly or there is something wrong with you lol

[cossackpride]

lol how old are you,even in bosnia people are not old until they are over 25,,if you are over 25 and not married they trhink you are either ugly or there is something wrong with you lol

We are both 23 (months from 24) and we're not far from hitting 'over 25'. I didn't meet her at Church but we are both Greek Catholic and our relatives insist on early marriage and a horde of children. :cool:

[Hurrem sultana]

We are both 23 (months from 24) and we're not far from hitting 'over 25'. I didn't meet her at Church but we are both Greek Catholic and our relatives insist on early marriage and a horde of children. :cool:

from rural ukraina? i know those here in sweden are secular and over 25,,,not yet married,but one of them live together with a swedish man

[Hurrem sultana]

So Maggy whats left now is to listen to Mary :D

go out and find a guy no matter if he has a girlfriend or not :D :D

[cossackpride]

from rural ukraina? i know those here in sweden are secular and over 25,,,not yet married,but one of them live together with a swedish man

From rural Canada..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dauphin,_Manitoba

Although now I live in the big degenerate city. :thumb001:

Uke are different from Ukrainians.. most Ukes are from East Galicia and even there (I know because I was on vacation and stayed with relatives) are married young and have a relatively high fertility rate (similiar to Irish).

Central Ukraine and Eastern Ukraine may as well be Russia

[Hurrem sultana]

From rural Canada..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dauphin,_Manitoba

Although now I live in the big degenerate city. :thumb001:

Uke are different from Ukrainians.. most Ukes are from East Galicia and even there (I know because I was on vacation and stayed with relatives) are married young and have a relatively high fertility rate (similiar to Irish).

Central Ukraine and Eastern Ukraine may as well be Russia

I don't like that(getting married as soon as you are 20 and then divorcing at 25 :D).But a normal age is 24-25 in my opinion,,,it is not good to get too old either

[Maddy]

lol how old are you,even in bosnia people are not old until they are over 25,,if you are over 25 and not married they trhink you are either ugly or there is something wrong with you lol

Ummmm.... I'm 28....so, yeah.... people are starting to wonder what is wrong with me....and yes.... there are a lot of things.... but I'm getting help... people have even told me if they were 30 and not married they would kill themself...they were not joking...so, yeah... that made me feel great...

In Bosnia is it only women over 25 & not married that are "weird"... or men too? cause I know a couple Bosnian guys in my. class... both 25 & not married

[Maddy]

We are both 23 (months from 24) and we're not far from hitting 'over 25'. I didn't meet her at Church but we are both Greek Catholic and our relatives insist on early marriage and a horde of children. :cool:

Wow... that is really young... to me, at least....that's really great you found each other.. congrats!

[Hurrem sultana]

Ummmm.... I'm 28....so, yeah.... people are starting to wonder what is wrong with me....and yes.... there are a lot of things.... but I'm getting help... people have even told me if they were 30 and not married they would kill themself...they were not joking...so, yeah... that made me feel great...

In Bosnia is it only women over 25 & not married that are "weird"... or men too? cause I know a couple Bosnian guys in my. class... both 25 & not married

Guys can be up to 27 and not married,but those over 27 are also considered "strange"....most girls get married around 24 and guys 25

what is the average age for marriage where you come from?

[Maddy]

Guys can be up to 27 and not married,but those over 27 are also considered "strange"....most girls get married around 24 and guys 25

what is the average age for marriage where you come from?

well... it's different cause I'm in the u.s. my mother, for example got married at 19... my dad was 24...
On the other hand... my maternal aunt was 30, maternal uncle 33, and other maternal uncle is 40 and not married

[Hurrem sultana]

well... it's different cause I'm in the u.s. my mother, for example got married at 19... my dad was 24...
On the other hand... my maternal aunt was 30, maternal uncle 33, and other maternal uncle is 40 and not married

Well i think even in Bosnia the trend goes towards the same.I know more and more people over 25 are deciding to marry later on.I don't feel any pressure,i think it will happen when it is meant to be

[ricko0812]

whats wrong with being single? if i got divorced today, i would be a single man for the rest of my life.

[Aces High]

Here are some pics of what I normally wear...don't laugh...and I included a pic of my backside so you can see that I really do have a big butt


Seems normal enough and compared to the majority of fat arsed American women its quite small........and anyway the size of your arse doesnt really mean anything unless you look like Rosanne Barr.

My advice to you would be to see the fact that you are 28 and still relatively "undamaged goods" as a positive and not a negative.....so dont go underselling yourself to some fucking online loser because you seem to think that you have to live by certain rules or a timetable to find a man.
Things tend to work out by themselves so chilax,stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and live your life as calmly as possible,the right person will come along.

Rushing into things can only lead to disaster ,and why rush anyway.?......because some publicity stunt or tv series says that you have to be at such and such a point in your life etc etc.
Fuck society and its rules.....live your life the way you see fit and by doing so males willl look at you with admiration and be interested in you and then you can pick who you want to marry or have a relationship with or commit to.

Its not a race.

[Peyrol]

Yeah but you live in Europe and meeting people is a lot easier over there. And there is less multiculturalism there.

"Less multiculturalism"...in France or UK...? :lol00002::lol00002::lol00002:

[Quorra]

:mmmm:

Are you encouraging Lesbianism? :eek:

No. I'm providing examples of un-average women.

[Queen B]

Ummmm.... I'm 28....so, yeah.... people are starting to wonder what is wrong with me....and yes.... there are a lot of things.... but I'm getting help... people have even told me if they were 30 and not married they would kill themself...they were not joking...so, yeah... that made me feel great...

In Bosnia is it only women over 25 & not married that are "weird"... or men too? cause I know a couple Bosnian guys in my. class... both 25 & not married

Your age is okay, here , people are getting married older and older by generations. Most of girl my age, are not married yet, though I have some married friends.

[cossackpride]

"Less multiculturalism"...in France or UK...? :lol00002::lol00002::lol00002:

Except for fellow tourists, Eastern European construction workers and the odd British person which stayed behind, you would think London was a city in India or the Caribbean.

Congratulations London. You went from a great Empire to the World's hotel. :rolleyes:

[R4ge]

Don't do it.

[cossackpride]

Don't do it.

Even though a woman has an 'advantage' on those sites.. it's just not worth dealing with all the creeps, perverted messages.. and then the liars who just want sex!

There's a reason why only damaged women use those sites on a prolonged basis.

[Quorra]

Except for fellow tourists, Eastern European construction workers and the odd British person which stayed behind, you would think London was a city in India or the Caribbean.

Congratulations London. You went from a great Empire to the World's hotel. :rolleyes:

Does every thread have to descend into you mocking poor old Britain?

[SilverKnight]

Online dating ?!

Being their, done it, and had my results (positive and negative).
Negative: Met a lot of fake girls who didn't work out.
Positive: I met my fiancee there and it all began with a few messages back and forth :)

Advises:
1st- Be very cautious of who you meet and where. Don't ever trust someone fully. Try going somewhere public in your first day, is never recommended it to stay with that person too alone until you fully trust them.
2nd - Don't get nervous be yourself. Browse for the perfect match that will fit your personality the best.
3rd - Don't jump into next levels too quick, know each other the most because if not you're regret it later when you find great incompatibility.
4th

4th - Follow all of the steps above and you'll have a great and safe experience.

[Talvi]

I dont think you should give up on online dating. Because.. you never know! And if nothing super amazing happens, you will at least get some experience.. and maybe an ego boost.

If you feel like you really click online, you will probably also click offline.

[Nameless Son]

(I have sort of a big butt

[brunette]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....

But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....

The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

I say go for it just make sure you don't get into the guys car or house. Not on the first date.

[Aces High]

I say go for it just make sure you don't get into the guys car or house. Not on the first date.

As if a guy who picks up girls online would own a car or a house......:rofl_002:

[Heart of Oak]

every journey starts with a first step, take a chance, if he's not right, you'll know in nano secs, so get the frik out of there, or he may be cool, an thoughtful an kind, you like his profile so get the frik on the case.. ..

[Aces High]

One word of advice.....if his e-mail is jusparoledanfree2date@.us

Steer clear.;)

[Leon_C]

If you wanted to avoid creepy guys you should have avoided The Apricity :P

[Mistel]

You should go for it. There is some stigma attached to online dating I guess, but it's supposed to be highly successful. Just trust your instincts and talk on the phone first (or if you don't want to do that, spend more time chatting online). One of my friends met her husband online and they are an amazing couple.

[Mistel]

You should go for it. There is some stigma attached to online dating I guess, but it's supposed to be highly successful. Just trust your instincts and talk on the phone first (or if you don't want to do that, spend more time chatting online). One of my friends met her husband online and they are an amazing couple.

I have just realised my post is really out of date! Hope you had some luck with online dating anyway! :)

[Cynewald]

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....



Don't you mean ugly? Stop using "creepy" as a metonym for genetically flawed guys, please.

[Marmie Dearest]

He sounds nice, just meet him in a public place and don't tell him where you live until you see him in person a couple of times.

I've met past boyfriends on line, and its perfectly safe, as long as you are smart about it. Just make sure you talk to them through emails, instant messaging and/or phone first, then meet for the first time in public, then go from there just as though you met them anywhere else, once you've confirmed they are who you thought they were in person.

[Marmie Dearest]

Don't you mean ugly? Stop using "creepy" as a metonym for genetically flawed guys, please.

Some guys really are creepy and it's not about ugly, it's about their personality.

[CVCV]

So...out of frustration for being 28 and never having been in a relationship (and because my 25 year old brother is getting engaged next month)....I made an online profile the other day.....

A lot of the guys that messaged me were "creepy"....but I looked at this one guys profile...and he seemed attractive (personality and look-wise)....he messaged me...and we went back and forth....and then he suggested we go out for dinner....(we were both looking for something long term). I agreed....

But then I asked other people what they thought of meeting someone online....and they thought it was creepy....

The guy is 31...he is into health, like me....he is starting nursing school (I didn't tell him i'm in med school...cause guys seem to get turned off by this)....

And so...I kept thinking of what other people were telling me about online dating...and the fact that if my parents found out they would be very, very, angry with me...so I told him it's off...

And then he messaged me back saying he really wants to meet me...and that he's understanding...and hopes I change my mind....

Sometimes I feel so indecisive....and again...I have NO relationship experience...

So...should I just keep the "date" canceled, or give him a try?

Thanks for your help.

Give him a try, of course! He is being very patient with you.

[American_Hispanist]

nothing hurts in giving a chance no?

[Virtuous]

Why was this thread bumped?

[CVCV]

nothing hurts in giving a chance no?

The thread seems to be old. They probably have grandchildren by now, or she turned him down and became a crazy cat lady.

http://www.potholesandpantyhose.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Cat-Lady.jpg

[Cynewald]

This was from a 3 month experiment. Look at how ridiculous this is:

http://i.imgur.com/N84euBo.jpg

The hottest guy gets fewer messages than the second ugliest girl. :(

The fat guy gets nothing, 0, fucking ZERO. Yet the female whale gets 11.

The pretty girls inboxes were full after only 3 weeks (over 100 messages each per week)

Even if you are a male model, the odds are still stacked against you like 10 to 1.

[larali]

What the fuck do you do all day?

[Graham]

Aw poor fat man, empty inbox. Discriminatory :(

[Arcaius]

why is this strange?
and in any case there are plenty of pervs and no lifers that will use any chance they have to hit on a good looking girl,or at least good looking profile pic,even tho the actual person creating that profile can be a dude :D

[papa diddy pop]

why is this strange?
and in any case there are plenty of pervs and no lifers that will use any chance they have to hit on a good looking girl,or at least good looking profile pic,even tho the actual person creating that profile can be a dude :D

that's why it's the only one that responded to me
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6cqf7B7wV1rys4czo4_500.gif

[Arcaius]

What the fuck do you do all day?

LOOOOL

:rofl: :1127: :1127:

[Cynewald]

What the fuck do you do all day?

When I'm not working, I read about sexual selection. i'm obsessed with it. Darwin would fap and hand me gold stars for my perseverance :thumb001:

[Cynewald]

Aw poor fat man, empty inbox. Discriminatory :(

Poor Inquiring Mind.

[papa diddy pop]

When I'm not working, I read about sexual selection. i'm obsessed with it. :thumb001:

And what are you working on ? A book on sexual selection ? :D

[Caismeachd]

There were some women that liked IM.

[papa diddy pop]

There were some women that liked IM.

are you sure they weren't dude ? like our dude arcaius told us.



why is this strange?
and in any case there are plenty of pervs and no lifers that will use any chance they have to hit on a good looking girl,or at least good looking profile pic,even tho the actual person creating that profile can be a dude :D

[Graham]

I miss Inquiring Mind.

[RussiaPrussia]

This was from a 3 month experiment. Look at how ridiculous this is:

http://i.imgur.com/N84euBo.jpg

The hottest guy gets fewer messages than the second ugliest girl. :(

The fat guy gets nothing, 0, fucking ZERO. Yet the female whale gets 11.

The pretty girls inboxes were full after only 3 weeks (over 100 messages each per week)

Even if you are a male model, the odds are still stacked against you like 10 to 1.

this is so true

[Mary]

This is based on the assumption that dating sites mirror how the mating market works. They don't. There's a huge difference between sending someone a message online and talking to that person in real life. Dating profiles are not representative for a person.

[Mary]

I strongly suggest you read this, http://ttayl.stormpages.com/pair_bonding.html

If you want to have sex you have to go through this process,


Stage 1: No Touch
The first three steps usually occur rapidly and not always consciously. Many bonds break because these steps are, bypassed.

Eye to body. The first glance at a person reveals much. This look notes the physical qualities of the other: size, shape, coloring, age, and personality. Immediately, an almost unconscious grading process begins, rating the person on a scale of low to high interest and/or desirability.

Eye to eye. While looking at each other, the eyes occasionally meet. A quickening of the heartbeat frequently follows, along with the flush of embarrassment. The usual response at this point is to break the gaze and glance away. However, when eye contact occurs between two persons who have already developed bonds of friendship, their eyes will often lock and lead to further gestures of recognition and greeting. (Note that eye contact at level two is brief. At step seven, eye contact dominates the scene. This correlates with the fact that when a couple is experiencing serious marriage problems, they rarely look into one another's faces when talking. )

Voice to voice. During this stage, the couple can learn much about each other--opinions, pastimes, hobbies, ideas, likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams for the future. A couple should spend hundreds of hours at this level. It is during this phase that a couple learns if they are compatible and if the relationship should continue. Where a bond has been broken or is deteriorating there is limited eye contact. The magic of discovery has faded into oblivion. Furthermore, there is little communication between the two people. All that remains are lovemaking episodes in which two bodies meet without emotional satisfaction.

As you can see you can NOT do this on the Internet.

[Alenka]

Which dating site was this experiment done on?

[Grenzland]

I never tried online dating, but it could work.

You chat around a bit and then you meet. And you already know there is a bit of interest for each other!

Why not?

Better as my tries to get along with a girl that is stupid enough not to like blond. And I found out after 20 minutes talking! 20 minutes of wasted life time! :D

[Incel King]

I'll miss you Cynewald. You opened my eyes to how all women are manipulative sluts

Respect bro

This almost broke my heart. This forum wouldn't be same without Cynewald, I'll miss him and his threads about natural sexual selection and women instincts. He also opened my eyes. I mean If I never met him I'd still think that Jews are to blame for my misfortune with girls, not myself. Now I realized that I'm responsible for how my life would looks like, not Jews, nor destiny. Now I'm ready for any challenge and I'm capable to do no matter what in order to obtain love of woman I love. Tomorrow I'm going to her and I'll bring Cynewald's strength in my heart.

[Grenzland]

I think the reason why I don't get a supermodel every day is clearly the Jews!


I soon will open a few threads! :D

[Anglojew]

This was from a 3 month experiment. Look at how ridiculous this is:

http://i.imgur.com/N84euBo.jpg

The hottest guy gets fewer messages than the second ugliest girl. :(

The fat guy gets nothing, 0, fucking ZERO. Yet the female whale gets 11.

The pretty girls inboxes were full after only 3 weeks (over 100 messages each per week)

Even if you are a male model, the odds are still stacked against you like 10 to 1.

That's really interesting. Says so much about the sexes.

[Grenzland]

Is this really surprising?

[papa diddy pop]

And if you're Brad Pitt or famous, you will get all the female attention and a full inbox in 2 minutes . Very Few male member generally drain the interest of most female members. R1b can tell ;)

[Grenzland]

I hate the guy with 38 PMs! :D

[Incel King]

I hate the guy with 38 PMs! :D

He's the jew one. ;)

[Hurrem sultana]

why is Cynewald banned? :/

[Just90]

Girls don't like to chase so don't expect to receive messages or ask out on a date or something

However girls like to be chased and be wanted by many guys at the same time
And obviously guys like to do the chase thing

[CVCV]

why is Cynewald banned? :/

Because he is a registered sex offender. He is on probation until 2015. I know it sounds hard to believe, but any moderator will confirm this.

[Hurrem sultana]

wow,does anyone know more?

[Midori]

wow,does anyone know more?

Check the banning thread, it's all there
http://www.theapricity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37813&page=15

[Incel King]

Check the banning thread, it's all there
http://www.theapricity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=37813&page=15

Ok, but how those moderators find out that Cynewald is pedophile? If I'd be moderator I could construct story about any member I don't like and then ban him/her. Please source?

[Hurrem sultana]

I wonder the same thing

[Mraz]

May he die, son of a bitch.

[CrystalMaiden]

When I'm not working, I read about sexual selection. i'm obsessed with it. Darwin would fap and hand me gold stars for my perseverance :thumb001:

I just love the dry British humor, which is the only dry thing on that rain drenched island AFAIK :D.

[Caismeachd]

Ok, but how those moderators find out that Cynewald is pedophile? If I'd be moderator I could construct story about any member I don't like and then ban him/her. Please source?

It wasn't a constructed story. On a thread here he admitted he was a felon. A member here found him admitting he was a sex offender for downloading child porn on another forum. He admits he is a sex offender on the other forum and there are pictures of his face and so on. He was also brazen and callous enough to also have posted pics of young girls in their underwear and so on even after he was convicted. The evidence was overwhelming and he wasn't hastily banned. It was an agreement between the staff here after we saw the evidence.

[Grenzland]

Also the story isn't that unbelievable!

[Frosty]

:confused:Looking at most of his unhappy threads I thought that may be he had been molested as a child by mother,grandmother or other female relative,or just using drugs or alcohol...but never expected this.

[Mans not hot]

R.I.P Cynewald

[Tyfani]

You should date no matter if he is good or not, as long as you keep yourself safe and sound :) btw is that you on the avatar? If yes, smile a little more!!! You can't look grumpy as a kitty <3

[Carter]

When you have trust on any one you don't need to think more about that he is right or wrong.Just date it.Its all depends on you what you feeling about him/her.If you feel comfortable with him/her you don't need any more suggestion from others.

[Caismeachd]

I dated people I didn't think I had a match with just to get out and experiment and practice. Nothing wrong with it really but online dating kind of suck. Most women you meet from online are nuts.

[Incel King]

If you've been dating a while, I'm sure at one time or another you been given the dating advice "just be yourself and someone will come along..."



The philosophy behind "Just Be Yourself" is that if you just be yourself people will naturally be attracted to you, naturally love you for who you are and naturally want to be with you and that you do not have to do anything out of “character" to attract or be loved.

The irony is that many frustrated, lonely and depressed singles have spent pretty much all of their lives "just being themselves" and gotten nowhere at all with the opposite sex.

Here’s the thing.

On a surface level, your whole agenda is to BE and DO only what is natural to who you honestly believe yourself to be. But on a deeper level, you’ve got your own little filters through which you interact with the world around you. You have all these little computer-like programs that have pretty well programmed you to be for example, self-centered and selfish (thinking of just yourself), aggressive, defensive and passive (insecure), stick to a well programmed set of ruled and norms (be boring), uptight and sexually repressed etc. It’s true that you are “just being yourself" and just being the “real you" but this is the faultily programmed you.

If you really want to begin attracting a special man or woman into your life with very little conscious effort, you have to re-program your Hard Drive and Install new programs that work for you rather than against you.



Be honest with yourself and put in some serious effort into becoming the very BEST YOU; an improved, happier and self-fulfilled you. Once you’ve allowed your inner and outer magnificence to shine with all honesty and authenticity, begin getting ideas for how to present that very BEST YOU to the world. Presenting the BEST YOU is about giving yourself every possible advantage while remaining true to your values and vision for a fulfilling life.

I just have to say that If you just be yourself, you'll remain alone for all eternity.

[Grenzland]

I don't get the point. I'm always myself and there wasn't many problems with that.

[Tyfani]

I don't get the point. I'm always myself and there wasn't many problems with that.

yeap and in addition to that I warn the other for my cons in advance :p For some reason, most guys thought I am joking :O

[Arbërori]

And faking someone or fake personality traits will get you anywhere? :lol: Honesty should be valued very much in a relationship, you can't date someone that you don't even know what their name is and vice-versa... :P

[mr. logan]

dating halfbreeds is good in the man´s teens, to get sex training without trashing the White women. In this dating never be yourself, flash logos before their eyes, never make a booty call and, if circumstances fit right, end it with a gangbang. :)

[MissProvocateur]

I think people misunderstood the point... The athor wasn't referring to completely changing your personality, just being te best you can be. My boyfriend has changed me a lot, but I a still myself, only that he has made me a better person. If you truly care about someone, that person will eventually change you, even if the person is a friend, lover, or family member.

[Austo]

I am always myself.

Its not really smart to act like someone else. Because you will have to act like someone else forever if she is with you. It wont make you happy.

[derLowe]

I don't get the point. I'm always myself and there wasn't many problems with that.

Exactly!

[Flintlocke]

dating halfbreeds is good in the man´s teens, to get sex training without trashing the White women. In this dating never be yourself, flash logos before their eyes, never make a booty call and, if circumstances fit right, end it with a gangbang. :)

I like this guy, he's cool xD

[Bosnjakinja]

I am always myself.

Its not really smart to act like someone else. Because you will have to act like someone else forever if she is with you. It wont make you happy.

Actually most people just become themselves when they marry, then they don't have a reason to hide their personality anymore because they already "got" the person.

How many men do you know who go to the toilet infront of their girlfriends for instance? That's something that's only possible if you've been married to or been with someone very long...and even then...:-S

[derLowe]

Actually most people just become themselves when they marry, then they don't have a reason to hide their personality anymore because they already "got" the person.

How many men do you know who go to the toilet infront of their girlfriends for instance? That's something that's only possible if you've been married to or been with someone very long...and even then...:-S

I don't think I could ever do that.

[Leon_C]

This doesn't apply to most women, many of them can get by just by being attractive. Take it from me: if you have a shitty personality then do not be yourself, I've been myself for my entire life thus far and have never gotten anywhere with the opposite sex, I mean nothing and I'm serious.

[Žołnir]

Yes i always pretend to be Rambo or Conan the Barbarian (1982 version) and it feels great! :P ;)

[Bosnjakinja]

How old are you Sammy?

[Austo]

This doesn't apply to most women, many of them can get by just by being attractive. Take it from me: if you have a shitty personality then do not be yourself, I've been myself for my entire life thus far and have never gotten anywhere with the opposite sex, I mean nothing and I'm serious.

Then work on your manners

[Leon_C]

How old are you Sammy?

19

[Bosnjakinja]

19
Ok...that's not so bad, you still have time.

Btw, why are you so sure that it's your personality that puts girls off? Not saying you're ugly ofcourse, just wondering.

[Leon_C]

Then work on your manners

My manners are too good that is the problem, for me and most other people in the world things become easier when drunk and manners are thrown out of the window.

[derLowe]

My manners are too good that is the problem, for me and most other people in the world things become easier when drunk and manners are thrown out of the window.

Depends for what kind of woman you are hunting for.

[Austo]

My manners are too good that is the problem, for me and most other people in the world things become easier when drunk and manners are thrown out of the window.

then relax. The woman is also just a human.

[Leon_C]

Ok...that's not so bad, you still have time.

Btw, why are you so sure that it's your personality that puts girls off? Not saying you're ugly ofcourse, just wondering.

absolutely, I don't think girls have an issue with how I look, but tend to get put off when they find out how awkward/ introverted I am.

[Bosnjakinja]

absolutely, I don't think girls have an issue with how I look, but tend to get put off when they find out how awkward/ introverted I am.

Hm. Are you only like that around girls or around everyone?

[Žołnir]

absolutely, I don't think girls have an issue with how I look, but tend to get put off when they find out how awkward/ introverted I am.

Best plan imo is just go to one shy but nice woman and ask her out directly this is my master plan i am into atm actually. xD

[Leon_C]

I'm just generally awkward around everybody, the only times I am not are when I am either drunk, on drugs or deprived of sleep.

[Leon_C]

Best plan imo is just go to one shy but nice woman and ask her out directly this is my master plan i am into atm actually. xD

hahaha, none of those where I live, they are all into clubbing and that sort of thing

[Bosnjakinja]

I'm just generally awkward around everybody, the only times I am not are when I am either drunk, on drugs or deprived of sleep.

Ok, but then you probably wouldnt want a loud, outgoing girlfriend anyways. If everything else fails you could try online dating, where you can warn people about your "awkwardness"...

[Grenzland]

Or just don't be awkward! :D

[Žołnir]

I'm just generally awkward around everybody, the only times I am not are when I am either drunk, on drugs or deprived of sleep.


hahaha, none of those where I live, they are all into clubbing and that sort of thing

Thats to bad. Anyways by akward you mean like? What a hell you do when akward? I don't consider myself akward but somehow i got that reputation. Dunno why tbh maybe cuz i was fooling around in our basic and high school but really i feel more normal than rest of ppl from our school. xD

[American_Hispanist]

hahaha, none of those where I live, they are all into clubbing and that sort of thing

You don't like going to clubs?

[Kazimiera]

I've always been myself, but I think maybe I am the best I can be all the time. I've never had problems when I was dating. I've never ever "looked" for someone. They've all just happened.

[Arbërori]

I've always been myself, but I think maybe I am the best I can be all the time. I've never had problems when I was dating. I've never ever "looked" for someone. They've all just happened.

That's the right attitude. I'm not dependant on meeting a woman, so consequently, I won't get nervous. Get yourself a nice drink, have a nice time & I'm sure someone will approach you. If not, take a risk & approach someone else, you've got nothing to loose. Unless you're a drama queen ofcourse. :lol:

[mr. logan]

absolutely, I don't think girls have an issue with how I look, but tend to get put off when they find out how awkward/ introverted I am.



The islam chick wanted to read you were over 40. 19. Ok...that's not so bad, you still have time. :)

[Kazimiera]

That's the right attitude. I'm not dependant on meeting a woman, so consequently, I won't get nervous. Get yourself a nice drink, have a nice time & I'm sure someone will approach you. If not, take a risk & approach someone else, you've got nothing to loose. Unless you're a drama queen ofcourse. :lol:

I've actually gone to great lengths to get rid of people.

Like my husband. When we met I tried to convince him for about 3 months that I am the wrong person to be with. My previous husband died of cancer 4 months before we met. And I was really not into dating. I'd come to terms with being alone forever after that and it was fine with me. Then along comes somebody who showed interest. I said to him that I am NOT the right person. I'd been widowed very shortly before then, I was still in mourning, nobody could ever compare to my dead husband, I was interested in anyone, I was depressed. I told him f-off and leave me alone. The last thing I needed was a new relationship with all its uncertainties on top of my mourning period.

But he was tenacious. He didn't go away no matter how hard I chased him. I was deliberately nasty and very cruel. Not because I am such a person but because I wanted to protect HIM from myself and what I was going through. It didn't seem fair to lump all my misfortune onto someone else. And I also knew that it would be extremely hard (for him) to be in a relationship with someone who has been widowed. In the case of divorce or a break-up, there is anger and resentment. There are negative feelings towards the ex partner. Whereas if the partner died, there are no negative feelings - only feelings of missing that person, still loving them. And that is extremely difficult to cope with for the new partner. I didn't want for him.

But he stuck around and I eventually grew tired of trying to get rid of him. He wasn't jealous, or worried that I would compare him with my dead husband (which I don't, but it surely must be a worry for the new person). I could talk about things such as my feelings and sadness openly, without the fear of him feeling rejected etc. And the relationship just grew from there, despite all my efforts trying to get rid of him. And believe me, I tried HARD.

In fact, I think I was the worst me I could ever have been during that time period and someone wanted to be with me anyway! :)

[Arbërori]

I've actually gone to great lengths to get rid of people.

Like my husband. When we met I tried to convince him for about 3 months that I am the wrong person to be with. My previous husband died of cancer 4 months before we met. And I was really not into dating. I'd come to terms with being alone forever after that and it was fine with me. Then along comes somebody who showed interest. I said to him that I am NOT the right person. I'd been widowed very shortly before then, I was still in mourning, nobody could ever compare to my dead husband, I was interested in anyone, I was depressed. I told him f-off and leave me alone. The last thing I needed was a new relationship with all its uncertainties on top of my mourning period.

But he was tenacious. He didn't go away no matter how hard I chased him. I was deliberately nasty and very cruel. Not because I am such a person but because I wanted to protect HIM from myself and what I was going through. It didn't seem fair to lump all my misfortune onto someone else. And I also knew that it would be extremely hard (for him) to be in a relationship with someone who has been widowed. In the case of divorce or a break-up, there is anger and resentment. There are negative feelings towards the ex partner. Whereas if the partner died, there are no negative feelings - only feelings of missing that person, still loving them. And that is extremely difficult to cope with for the new partner. I didn't want for him.

But he stuck around and I eventually grew tired of trying to get rid of him. He wasn't jealous, or worried that I would compare him with my dead husband (which I don't, but it surely must be a worry for the new person). I could talk about things such as my feelings and sadness openly, without the fear of him feeling rejected etc. And the relationship just grew from there, despite all my efforts trying to get rid of him. And believe me, I tried HARD.

In fact, I think I was the worst me I could ever have been during that time period and someone wanted to be with me anyway! :)

I'm very sorry for your loss, Kaz, may he rest in peace. :(

I've also lost a cousin and uncle to cancer, it's a horrible fate. It's a good thing your current husband was tenacious, I bet he doesn't regret that one bit! :) I personally believe that, despite loosing someone & someone as close as a partner, we should slowly move on, not in a way to forget them, but to honour them with living our lives to the fullest, I believe that is what they'd want for us.

It's nice to hear that your story had a happy ending and I know for sure that your first husband is also watching you from whatever nice place he currently is & nudges you every now and then, in order for you not to be so deliberately nasty & cruel. :p God/The Universe has mysterious ways of taking care of us, once again, I'm sincerely happy for you!

[Kazimiera]

I just wanted to use this as an example that if someone wants to be with you, then they will be with you for YOU. A nice image and putting best foot forward all the time is something that nobody can sustain forever. And if you find yourself in a situation where you feel that you will be rejected if you DON'T put your best foot forward all the time, then chances are this relationship is not for you. It is only a matter of time until the real you comes out. Rather be rejected for who you really are, than loved and admired for someone you really aren't. It leaves both people seriously disillusioned in the longer term.

[Neanderthal]

Actually most people just become themselves when they marry, then they don't have a reason to hide their personality anymore because they already "got" the person.

How many men do you know who go to the toilet infront of their girlfriends for instance? That's something that's only possible if you've been married to or been with someone very long...and even then...:-S

If I can piss in a room full of weird dudes watching my dick (public toilets), why it should be a problem taking a piss in front of my girlfriend? :dunno:

[2012JD]

You don't want to be in love with an illusion . Something that's not there . You're going to get hurt really bad at the end

[Kazimiera]

If I can piss in a room full of weird dudes watching my dick (public toilets), why it should be a problem taking a piss in front of my girlfriend? :dunno:

I'm not sure myself, but what I've gathered here from members on this forum is that bodily functions are unacceptable. Unless performed in utmost secrecy.

[Neanderthal]

I'm not sure myself, but what I've gathered here from members on this forum is that bodily functions are unacceptable. Unless performed in utmost secrecy.

Well i'm just taking about taking a piss, not other bodily functions...

[Óttar]

How many men do you know who go to the toilet infront of their girlfriends for instance? That's something that's only possible if you've been married to or been with someone very long...and even then...:-S
I don't care if a lover goes to the bathroom in front of me, and vice versa.

I think traditional arranged marriage helps to take one's mind off of the vanities of the dating game, so people can focus on other things.

[Tyfani]

You don't want to be in love with an illusion . Something that's not there . You're going to get hurt really bad at the end

my spiritual mother lost her partner last year after 12+years of being with him. I was only able to tell her "do not be in love with a ghost. you cannot mourn for a dead body"
I think I was a bit too strict to her back then but this made her try to move on