The power of introverts

[Stefan]

I've experienced this very much as an introvert in a family of extroverts!

zQmxMoITrrA

[Osprey]

Introverts are good if they are doing something constructive.
If they are just depressed or whiling away time in porn, then they are worse than extroverts.

[Stefan]

Introverts are good if they are doing something constructive.
If they are just depressed or whiling away time in porn, then they are worse than extroverts.

Well there is obviously a bias for extroverts in our common society. I'd say there exists more of a bias for extroverts than there is racism today, which is quite sad considering the quality of introverts as thinkers and the nature of extroverts to be a bit more intrusive upon others. The woman in this video, Susan Cain, explains that she believes there should be a greater balance of introverts and extroverts to increase functionality and efficiency in work places.

I do agree however, that many introverts are a little bit too much self-absorbed; I've had that problem myself as an extreme systematizing introvert.

[arcticwolf]

I'm introverted and antisocial big time! We rule! :D:thumb001:

[MST3K]

I have more focus by being an introvert, I like to read and study things I've never learned. I guess it makes me more constructive.

I am not however anti-social.

[Osprey]

Some people mistake introverts to those who are interested in a smaller, but more tightly knit friend circle.

[Kazimiera]

I prefer doing my own thing. I don't have friends, and I like it that way. I am an only child and always found myself on the periphery. I hated sport and was never part of any team.

Strange as it may seem, I'm very good at public speaking and am quite charismatic too in that sense. I've won awards at public speaking and was quite loved at college when putting forward student concerns.

I just don't like talking one-on-one because it requires engaging and I might not be all that interested in the person I'm talking to.

I hate going to parties and gatherings. My husband made the mistake to take me to the opening night of his exhibition. Luckily I had my own car there and went home after his speech. Two weeks ago I was subjected to his cousin's wedding. I don't like his wife or her friends and it's very hard for me to be cordial in situations like that. I made hubby promise me that he would never take me to functions again. I might make an exception for an opening night, but it will be in my own car again.

[carol]

I am a classic introvert. I am a bit quiet and shy. I really don't want to be but can not help it. Even going to the local grocery store is a bit hard, sometimes, and I never know quite what to do when someone flirts with me!
When working, I can be social and friendly, but it's bit draining. My work friends think I am extroverted , but I am actually a secret introvert, doing my best to fit in. I am most happy in small groups of people, or with one special person. Going into a loud, crowded party, I want to hide. :) I like people, I am not anti social, just shy. But I can work hours and hours on research, or writing, or pottery and sculpture.
After a party, I just want to go home, take off the heels and jewelry and curl up with a good book. My favorite date is a walk on the beach, or sailing away from the crowds.

[Azalea]

What about people that are both? I am very black and white in the way I act and behave. So I can be so introverted that people sometimes ask me why I am so quit and if I am oke. On the other hand, I can be so extroverted that people beg me to shut up and give them some rest. :D

[Ozzy]

I'm quite like my father who, according to my mother, was never a fan of sitting around for too long at social gatherings.. I do enjoy being around others, but I've realized I'm at my happiest when I'm alone or with a small group of people that I know and trust.

I'm sure some people can mistake (my) introversion for many things, but why the hell should I (or any introvert, for that matter) care? I have no problem speaking up for myself and have never been stepped on or pushed aside. I don't believe it to be a matter of weakness, simply my disposition, and I'm totally cool with it. :)

[Contra Mundum]

Introverts are master race. We are more intelligent than extroverts on average.

I agree. Well, maybe not more intelligent, but more informed because introverts take the time to learn things. Most in my family are extroverts and run businesses or have high pressure jobs. They make a lot of money, but never take the time to learn anything outside of their professions. It's impossible to have a serious discussion with any of them on political issues. They just see what's on the surface because they are just too busy to investigate things.

[Osprey]

I agree. Well, maybe not more intelligent, but more informed because introverts take the time to learn things. Most in my family are extroverts and run businesses or have high pressure jobs. They make a lot of money, but never take the time to learn anything outside of their professions. It's impossible to have a serious discussion with any of them on political issues. They just see what's on the surface because they are just too busy to investigate things.

True.
Exposure, Risk and Stress are almost always required to gain good money.
Pure intelligence can only take you so far.

[arcticwolf]

True.
Exposure, Risk and Stress are almost always required to gain good money.
Pure intelligence can only take you so far.

There is no substitute for effort and persistence.

[accepthetruth]

I am an INFJ. I view extroverts as more weak than introverts, it seems like human interaction and conversation (even if it's about nothing) are like oxygen to them and if they don't have enough they will die.

[carol]

I am an INFJ. I view extroverts as more weak than introverts, it seems like human interaction and conversation (even if it's about nothing) are like oxygen to them and if they don't have enough they will die.

I am a INFJ too :thumb001:

[Albion]

I'm also an introvert (you may not think it on the internet - but on the internet everyone's an extrovert :p ).
To fit in with a society which is rather extrovert; I do my best to emulate what everyone else does. It doesn't come naturally to me and I do find most people terribly boring and it gets tiring having to force yourself to be outgoing sometimes.

I wish it wasn't so weird for someone to just sit quietly reading or doing whatever, simply minding their own business than talking about sport.
I can't stand being the centre of attention or anyone that seeks to be that. Humanity would probably be a lot more peaceful and prosperous if everyone was an introvert.

[Kazimiera]

I think about 99% of the people on internet forums are introverts. The extroverts are all out socialising. :)

[Rastko]

I am an INFJ.


I am a INFJ too :thumb001:

Hail,brothers!

[Stefan]

I think about 99% of the people on internet forums are introverts. The extroverts are all out socialising. :)

The perfect place to posit our superiority! ;)

[Gaijin]

Awesome post.

[carol]

Hail,brothers!

sister and brother!:p

[Albion]

I'm INTP. I'm wondering how much difference there is between INTP and INTJ personalities.


Portrait of an INTP - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
(Introverted Thinking with Extraverted Intuition)
The Thinker


As an INTP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

INTPs value knowledge above all else. Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They seek patterns and logical explanations for anything that interests them. They're usually extremely bright, and able to be objectively critical in their analysis. They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others. They may seem "dreamy" and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories. They hate to work on routine things - they would much prefer to build complex theoretical solutions, and leave the implementation of the system to others. They are intensely interested in theory, and will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into finding a solution to a problem with has piqued their interest.

INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand.

The INTP has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. They strive constantly to achieve logical conclusions to problems, and don't understand the importance or relevance of applying subjective emotional considerations to decisions. For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others.

The INTP may have a problem with self-aggrandizement and social rebellion, which will interfere with their creative potential. Since their Feeling side is their least developed trait, the INTP may have difficulty giving the warmth and support that is sometimes necessary in intimate relationships. If the INTP doesn't realize the value of attending to other people's feelings, he or she may become overly critical and sarcastic with others. If the INTP is not able to find a place for themself which supports the use of their strongest abilities, they may become generally negative and cynical. If the INTP has not developed their Sensing side sufficiently, they may become unaware of their environment, and exhibit weakness in performing maintenance-type tasks, such as bill-paying and dressing appropriately.

For the INTP, it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly. They are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths. Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain it in an understandable way to others. The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing. It's important that the INTP place importance on expressing their developed theories in understandable ways. In the end, an amazing discovery means nothing if you are the only person who understands it.

The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP.

The INTP is at his best when he can work on his theories independently. When given an environment which supports his creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things. These are the pioneers of new thoughts in our society.

Yes, the INTP description sounds exactly like me, particularly the bits in bold.




Portrait of an INTJ - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
(Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Thinking)
The Scientist


As an INTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically.

INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others.

With Introverted Intuition dominating their personality, INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities. Their mind constantly gathers information and makes associations about it. They are tremendously insightful and usually are very quick to understand new ideas. However, their primary interest is not understanding a concept, but rather applying that concept in a useful way. Unlike the INTP, they do not follow an idea as far as they possibly can, seeking only to understand it fully. INTJs are driven to come to conclusions about ideas. Their need for closure and organization usually requires that they take some action.

INTJ's tremendous value and need for systems and organization, combined with their natural insightfulness, makes them excellent scientists. An INTJ scientist gives a gift to society by putting their ideas into a useful form for others to follow. It is not easy for the INTJ to express their internal images, insights, and abstractions. The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand. However, the INTJ is driven to translate their ideas into a plan or system that is usually readily explainable, rather than to do a direct translation of their thoughts. They usually don't see the value of a direct transaction, and will also have difficulty expressing their ideas, which are non-linear. However, their extreme respect of knowledge and intelligence will motivate them to explain themselves to another person who they feel is deserving of the effort.

INTJs are natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead. When they are in leadership roles, they are quite effective, because they are able to objectively see the reality of a situation, and are adaptable enough to change things which aren't working well. They are the supreme strategists - always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency.

INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed. Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.

The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist.

INTJs are ambitious, self-confident, deliberate, long-range thinkers. Many INTJs end up in engineering or scientific pursuits, although some find enough challenge within the business world in areas which involve organizing and strategic planning. They dislike messiness and inefficiency, and anything that is muddled or unclear. They value clarity and efficiency, and will put enormous amounts of energy and time into consolidating their insights into structured patterns.

Other people may have a difficult time understanding an INTJ. They may see them as aloof and reserved. Indeed, the INTJ is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. That doesn't mean that he or she doesn't truly have affection or regard for others, they simply do not typically feel the need to express it. Others may falsely perceive the INTJ as being rigid and set in their ways. Nothing could be further from the truth, because the INTJ is committed to always finding the objective best strategy to implement their ideas. The INTJ is usually quite open to hearing an alternative way of doing something.

When under a great deal of stress, the INTJ may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, Sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal.

INTJs need to remember to express themselves sufficiently, so as to avoid difficulties with people misunderstandings. In the absence of properly developing their communication abilities, they may become abrupt and short with people, and isolationists.

INTJs have a tremendous amount of ability to accomplish great things. They have insight into the Big Picture, and are driven to synthesize their concepts into solid plans of action. Their reasoning skills gives them the means to accomplish that. INTJs are most always highly competent people, and will not have a problem meeting their career or education goals. They have the capability to make great strides in these arenas. On a personal level, the INTJ who practices tolerances and puts effort into effectively communicating their insights to others has everything in his or her power to lead a rich and rewarding life.

[Contra Mundum]

I think about 99% of the people on internet forums are introverts. The extroverts are all out socialising. :)

And out getting in trouble. People do crazy things when in a group. Things they would never consider doing when alone.

[Stefan]

I'm an INTJ, but I have INTP traits as well. My INTJ traits are just far more notable and stronger.

[Panopticon]

I'm INTP. I'm wondering how much difference there is between INTP and INTJ personalities.



Yes, the INTP description sounds exactly like me, particularly the bits in bold.

This is probably the best description of INTPs (http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html). It clears out the functions and how they work for the INTP. Some of it is frighteningly accurate to describe me.

INTJs are quite similar to INTPs in some ways, mainly that they are introverted intuitive thinkers. So there is easily an understanding between the two. They're quite different on a functional basis though.

As for introverts being more intelligent than extroverts on average (as it was mentioned earlier), that is indeed true, which has been proven by a multitude of studies. This is the most important one: http://www.theapricity.com/forum/showthread.php?t=57450

[Incel King]

Introverts are good if they are doing something constructive.
If they are just depressed or whiling away time in porn, then they are worse than extroverts.

How did you mean they're worse than extroverts? It's not your business what someone doing in his private life as long as that doesn't affect you. If someone is depressed emo it's his/her own problem, only fools that don't know what to do in their own lives are obsessed by hatred toward emos, nerds, geeks, fat people and etc. Answer to me, what you'll get if you hate some geek or emo? It's not question just for you but for everyone, because I noticed that there's and not just on this but on many other forums and in real life some members that hate/dislike antisocial depressed people and that members declare themselves as racial/ethnic preservationists, although they would beat or even kill some emo or nerd of their own ethnicity/race. I don't get it?

[Kazimiera]

And out getting in trouble. People do crazy things when in a group. Things they would never consider doing when alone.

The pack mentality.

[Virtuous]

You might not believe this, but I am an introvert.

[Kazimiera]

You might not believe this, but I am an introvert.

Of course you are. You're on Apricity most of the time. :)

[Virtuous]

Of course you are. You're on Apricity most of the time. :)

Since I've left my best friends that I been with for many years (because of valid reasons), I couldn't bother trying to find new ones, real friendship takes time to find, too much time, and I don't really intend to go through all the shit I been through already. I am alone, and I'm happy :).

[Rastko]

You can always play it easy way and act like a fake extrovert.

[Corvus]

I am the prototype of an introvert, but I think I am in good company here

[Kazimiera]

Since I've left my best friends that I been with for many years (because of valid reasons), I couldn't bother trying to find new ones, real friendship takes time to find, too much time, and I don't really intend to go through all the shit I been through already. I am alone, and I'm happy :).

A cup of coffee, lots of cigarettes and Apricity. Who needs real life friends or enemies when you can have them all here? And the bonus is this, you can put the people who irritate you on ignore. It's harder to shut them up in real life.


You can always play it easy way and act like a fake extrovert.

True. But for us introverts this uses up energy which could have been directed someplace more useful. Besides, who wants to be an extrovert when you have an internal world?

[spaz]

I am an "INTP". On those MBTI tests, I always score 100% introvert. :picard1:

If it weren't for learning new things from communicating/socializing with others, I could probably keep myself entertained for a long time.

[WitheredWhiteness]

A cup of coffee, lots of cigarettes and Apricity. Who needs real life friends or enemies when you can have them all here? And the bonus is this, you can put the people who irritate you on ignore. It's harder to shut them up in real life.


that's exactly what I do all the time :)


I'm also the only child, never had many friends etc. I like being alone, that's the best and most precious time a person can have imo.

[Kazimiera]

I'm ISTJ. What does that mean? I'm not at all clued up about this.

[Minesweeper]

I've done few of these test and all showed ENTJ. However, I'm just slightly more on the extrovert side, a borderline case.

I do have a some very introvert habits, like to isolate myself from time to time just to ''recharge'' and rest from other people's company (and this is probably one of those moments) and I love drinking morning coffee alone, just thinking and planning.

[Stefan]

I wonder: is it possible for your type to change? Can one become more extroverted from environmental influences?

[Corvus]

I wonder: is it possible for your type to change? Can one become more extroverted from environmental influences?

I doubt it, I think it is more or less a genetic thing, which cannot be changed by external influences.

[carol]

I'm ISTJ. What does that mean? I'm not at all clued up about this.

http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTJ.html

You are smart, loyal and dependable and rock the casbah* too.

*see below for casbah rocking:

Now the king told the boogie men
You have to let that raga drop
The oil down the desert way
Has been shakin' to the top
The Sheik he drove his Cadillac
He went a' cruisin' down the ville
The muezzin was a' standing
On the radiator grille

[Chorus:]
The Shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah
The Shareef don't like it
Rockin' the Casbah
Rock the Casbah

[Stefan]

I doubt it, I think it is more or less a genetic thing, which cannot be changed by external influences.

What are the intrinsic causes of these types, one must ask, then. Has there been any neurological studies by neuroscientists to explain the phenomena of introversion and extroversion?

[carol]

I wonder: is it possible for your type to change? Can one become more extroverted from environmental influences?

I have read that fundamental issues like introvert /extrovert is from before birth, and does not change. ( such as stimulus aversion in introverts, to stress like loud sounds, predicts introversion/sensitive personalities)

[Kazimiera]

http://www.personalitypage.com/ISTJ.html

You are smart, loyal and dependable and rock the casbah* too.

Yeah, this makes sense. Too loyal and dependable. To my own detriment. :mad:

[spaz]

I wonder: is it possible for your type to change? Can one become more extroverted from environmental influences?

I think it's possible. If drugs and alcohol can change someone's personality, then other long-term factors (like diet, environment, and lifestyle) could too.

[Corvus]

I have read that fundamental issues like introvert /extrovert is from before birth, and does not change. ( such as stimulus aversion in introverts, to stress like loud sounds, predicts introversion/sensitive personalities)

Indeed this is manifestated in your DNA, stimulus aversions or other trials to reconfigurate it can only backfire.

[carol]

What are the intrinsic causes of these types, one must ask, then. Has there been any neurological studies by neuroscientists to explain the phenomena of introversion and extroversion?

Why, yes, there have been some studies- I am fascinated by neuro-bio so took some college classes in it...
introversion is associated with sensitivity- to stimulus- sensory, emotional sensitive people. There are many studies about the neurological reasons for personalty traits. However, you can categorize some basic traits according to several categories- risk aversion vrs desire for excitement/risk taking, sensitive vrs insensitive, rule following behavior/ self determination. Lots of these characteristics are inborn, genetically based.

[Corvus]

I think it's possible. If drugs and alcohol can change someone's personality, then other long-term factors (like diet, environment, and lifestyle) could too.

But only for a short period and such things are detrimental IMO for a person.
It is better to remain a stable personality and not to fight against its own characteristics and internal feelings.

[carol]

Yeah, this makes sense. Too loyal and dependable. To my own detriment. :mad:

No, loyal and dependable people hold up the entire culture. be proud, you surely do more than your share to keep the place running. Where would we be without you?

[Albion]

Yeah, this makes sense. Too loyal and dependable. To my own detriment. :mad:

Lol, sounds like a "mum" personality. :D

[spaz]

But only for a short period and such things are detrimental IMO for a person.
It is better to remain a stable personality and not to fight against its own characteristics and internal feelings.

The foods and others we consume affect gene expression, which could cause slight (or maybe even more significant) changes in someone's personality, or anything else for that matter. Just like certain diets can lead to disease. The term "we are what we eat" is true to an extent.

[Kazimiera]

Lol, sounds like a "mum" personality. :D

No, I'm not a mommy kind.

It just reminds me of this company I worked for last year. They had financial troubles and started paying us late, but asshole here (me) thought the best thing to do was to keep the place afloat. I put in hours and hours of my time. I opened up a whole new department for them of which I was in charge. They never paid me extra, but asshole here did it out of the love of her heart.

Then they stopped paying me completely but asshole here carried on working for 4 months without pay. The place in the meantime closed down and they still owe me 4 months salary which I will never see. That's the reward you get for being loyal and dependable. :mad:

It's all my own fault because I should have seen it coming, but hindsight is always 20/20. I hope I learned my lesson.

[Corvus]

The foods and others we consume affect gene expression, which could cause slight (or maybe even more significant) changes in someone's personality, or anything else for that matter. Just like certain diets can lead to disease. The term "we are what we eat" is true to an extent.

Food has undoubtly an affect on health, but not on a person`s character.

[spaz]

Food has undoubtly an affect on health, but not on a person`s character.

But wouldn't you say health has an effect on a person's character? And a person's character is affected by their mood and mental state, which can change based on their health.

[Corvus]

But wouldn't you say health has an effect on a person's character? And a person's character is affected by their mood and mental state, which can change based on their health.

So what am I supposed to eat to turn extrovert :D

[Albion]

No, I'm not a mommy kind.

You say that now, but... :p


It just reminds me of this company I worked for last year. They had financial troubles and started paying us late, but asshole here (me) thought the best thing to do was to keep the place afloat. I put in hours and hours of my time. I opened up a whole new department for them of which I was in charge. They never paid me extra, but asshole here did it out of the love of her heart.

Then they stopped paying me completely but asshole here carried on working for 4 months without pay. The place in the meantime closed down and they still owe me 4 months salary which I will never see. That's the reward you get for being loyal and dependable. :mad:

It's all my own fault because I should have seen it coming, but hindsight is always 20/20. I hope I learned my lesson.


Wow, that's pretty bad. At least you know for next time not to trust a business.

[spaz]

So what am I supposed to eat to turn extrovert :D

That's too difficult to answer. There are so many genes that could control extrovert/introvert behavior. I think what you eat growing up and what your mother ate while you were in the womb may have a big effect your gene expression during growth, and then environment/life experiences play a role in shaping your memory, psyche, behavior. But maybe you could ask a scientist looking for someone's brain to experiment on to fix you up. :D

[anastasia]

I am an xNxP. I usually score 45-55% for Extr-Intr. I don t know if introverts are smarter than extroverts but they understand, exlpore and experience the world in a different manner. I need both to communicate with people in the real world, to socialize and also spend my time alone to read and think in order to feel fullfiled. As far as diet goes both my brother(he is almost 2 years younger than me) and I had the same diet when growing up but he is more of an extrovert....

[Osprey]

I think about 99% of the people on internet forums are introverts. The extroverts are all out socialising. :)

I like speaking in RL only when i'm confident about my point.
And People like Aces High were extrovert but still managed to make 4,600+ posts

[Mago]

I have always been an introvert, it certainly didn't help me in high school, i was painfully shy, worst years of my life, thankfully i grew out of it as i got older. Introverts don't do well in their teenage years both socially and dating wise. We are seen as weird and loners amidst the peer pressure of the teen years. But we learn to manage it and leave with it just fine as we get older. To be an introvert is not at all a bad trait.




.

[Visigodo Español]

I am an INFJ. I view extroverts as more weak than introverts, it seems like human interaction and conversation (even if it's about nothing) are like oxygen to them and if they don't have enough they will die.

I concur 100%. I, myself, am an INTJ (or was it INFJ?) and view extroverts in the same manner as you do. Heils:thumb001:

[Kazimiera]

I had an incident again the other night which really just brought home to me that I am an introvert.

We were invited to dinner with some people on Saturday night. I'd never met them before but they seemed quite nice. They are friends of my mom's and have heard really good things about them. They are a lovely couple and showed us a lovely time. We must have been there about 3 hours when I just had enough. It was a lovely environment, we were chatting about interesting things. And it wasn't that I was trying to escape a horrible situation, but I just couldn't bear it anymore. I said that I had some things to do at home and went home. My hubby stayed there to chat longer. When I got home I just had to sit down and chill. I was exhausted from the conversation, and I felt totally drained. I feel a bit bad for leaving them because they are such nice people, but I just couldn't do it.

[Osprey]

That's because you ran out of ideas.
Even introverts speak a lot when they have to give someone a piece of their mind.

[Kazimiera]

That's because you ran out of ideas.
Even introverts speak a lot when they have to give someone a piece of their mind.

It's not a case of running out of ideas. I wasn't doing the talking. I just find that being with people, especially those I don't know well, very exhausting. And I am happy when I can be on my own again.

[Han Cholo]

If you met me in real life you would not think I am introverted. I can party, say and do stupid stuff, make a twat out of myself and make everyone laugh. My sarcasm is well developed. I do not act shy between people.

However, I always have this inner feeling of discomfort when being at a party, or with people that can't have a conversation outside of mundane or overly trendy superficial stuff. I know lots of people, both male and female; but I have troubles most of the times to develop a higher bond of trust with them, whereas they group in bands of 5 or 6 people and act all "best friendlike" (not sure how deep is this though). This has caused me quite a bit of trouble in getting in serious intimate relationships. I normally don't talk about my interests or personal stuff because most people just would not understand.

Lately I've been grown tired of parties (although I still like to do this, but in practice it just isn't the same as in my mind).

In other words; I'd like to be really extroverted in a perfect society according to me, an utopic view. However, as I don't really see it in real life, I just don't have any other option than to be introverted, and to keep what I'm truly thinking inside of me.

[Kazimiera]

Lately I've been grown tired of parties (although I still like to do this, but in practice it just isn't the same as in my mind).

It is called "getting older". :)

[Han Cholo]

It is called "getting older". :)

I'm not even that old, and that's what worries me. :( I'm just starting my 20's.

[Kazimiera]

I'm not even that old, and that's what worries me. :( I'm just starting my 20's.

Haha! It gets worse, and there is NO CURE for it.

At least I managed to keep up the night life till I was about 25. Looks like you're aging prematurely. :p

[Han Cholo]

Haha! It gets worse, and there is NO CURE for it.

At least I managed to keep up the night life till I was about 25. Looks like you're aging prematurely. :p

Maybe it's just I did everything that I could have done in my late teens.

[Osprey]

Maybe it's just I did everything that I could have done in my late teens.

Overdoing anything creates a repulsion for it.
Don't worry, if you stop partying altogether, you'll regain your stamina.
That is, unless you grow too old :D

[Horus]

My brother and I are both introverts for sure, when I start to talk to someone for too long I feel sick and light headed. But when I am on my own or just talking to a few people for not that long, I feel strong and secure.

[Caismeachd]

I'm a natural introvert but have mustered the courage to work in areas which require a lot of extroversion (sales etc) and was able to succeed after a lot of training and a lot of initial failure. It was rough though. There is a stigma like others have mentioned. People who spontaneously converse the first thought that comes to mind and go out of their way to appeal to other people are often much more shallow and malicious people than an introvert could ever hope to be, but their behaviour is rewarded and they are often trusted anyways and they don't carry the negative stigma as introverts.

My parents and my younger brother are all extroverts while I'm an introvert and I was only ever punished for it and treated poorly even though I did better in school, and worked much harder in every way than my younger brother. So I've always tried to be something I'm not and felt guilty and confused for being myself instead of being able to thrive as an introvert.

[Tabiti]

They wanted to fail me on the psychological test for my job because I scored more introvert than the most. I'm engineer in the technical operating, just a worker with no manager functions, so I have no clue how this certain trait of mine would be a problem.
Anyway, I'm never honest on similar personality tests, instead when doing them for myself. They are waste of time.

[Caismeachd]

In the (general) job force you have to feign extroverted qualities unless you want to work a job in complete social isolation. I just put on a happy go lucky persona during job interviews most of the time. I've had management related positions and I just talk to coworkers normally. Management has never been a problem for me really and I usually work my way up to that in most of my jobs pretty quickly even though I'm introverted. One of the perks of being an introvert was that my manager would use me to watch and monitor employee performance but the other employees had no idea. Friendly and sociable but a bit aloof and not too personal about yourself is the best. Let other people be personal. If you are aloof but still personable you don't alienate yourself by being an introvert and still come across as strong.

[Jackson]

I'm an introvert, probably mainly because i need hardly any social interaction to get by - I enjoy doing what i want to do in my own time without other people bothering me. I do really enjoy going out though and socialising, but usually only when it suits me. I tend to get particularly focused on certain things, not obsessive as such, but to the point where i can be doing whatever it is for days pretty much - Even if it is something relatively unimportant it seems like it is the most important thing in the world, so i can't stand being interrupted.

I don't have problems speaking in public, in fact i quite enjoy it - It's just a matter of knowing a few techniques (speaking clearly, eye contact, occasionally engaging with audience) and then the rest is practice. Plus you get to speak at them most of the time, with relatively little interruption. I almost always get reasonably well graded for presentations etc. I don't really get why people are always so afraid of speaking publicly to be honest - Although i would understand it if they didn't know what they were talking about, i would be afraid too in that case.

In terms of group conversations most of the time i listen and then interject when i have something important to say.

It is very useful being introverted because having almost no need for social interaction means you can do a lot of other things - Like you can do things for hours and hours on end and not need to speak to anyone or do anything - Just more time spent productively. And of course for me at least (i don't know about others) i don't really have any trouble socially interacting so it's just a matter of 'changing modes', while your still really an introvert it means you sort of adapt easier to social situations.

I think being introverted is definitely an advantage, it means you aren't socially dependent on other people, giving you more control to do what you want when and how you want to do it.